The Letter.
Everyone dreaded The Letter.
If a relative of yours had gone to war, your worst fear was The Letter.
If a lover of yours had gone to war, your worst fear was The Letter.
If a subordinate of yours had gone to war, you knew you were going to see The Letter.
Yes, if you were a commanding officer, you were going to be seeing a lot of The Letter.
Colonel Roy Mustang knew he would be getting a few Letters.
He sorted through the Letters, fear flooding him as he recognized a few names.
Sergeant D. Brosh
Roy's hands shook.
Major A. Armstrong
His heart threatened to jump out of his chest as he sorted through the Letters.
There were easily more than fifty white envelopes to go through.
A few more insignificant names were thrown aside, and he reached the last envelope.
Major E. Elric
"No...." Roy's voice cracked. He dropped the envelope on the desk as his hands trembled violently.
His blood froze in his veins.
He felt dizzy, like his brain wasn't getting enough oxygen.
"Ed...." His eyes filled up to the brink with unshed tears.
"Why?" The single question acted as a trigger, and tears ran down his face, making it splotchy and nearly unrecognizable.
He sobbed openly, as loud as he could. He didn't care if other personnel would come bursting through the door to check on him. He didn't care that he was crying all over the tear-stained envelopes. He didn't care about anything anymore.
It was his fault. He had allowed Ed to go to war. He hadn't thought twice about sending him off. He had the idea that Ed was invincible. Unstoppable. Nothing could bring him down, not even death, itself.
Wrong. Mistake. Lies. Ed had died, and Roy blamed himself. How would he break this to Alphonse and Winry? How would they react? Would they kill him? How was Roy supposed to live life now?
How could he live knowing that never again would a short, blonde-haired, hot-headed teenager walk through those doors, spouting words of profanity at him?
He couldn't. He couldn't live without that. Ed was the only thing he had ever really, truly cared about in his life. Without Ed, he was nothing.
He never even got the chance to tell Ed how he felt about him. Or say "good-bye". Al would forever be stuck in a suit of armor, unless Roy helped him. Roy couldn't leave his desk for more than a day without getting complaints. There was no way he would make Alphonse search by himself though.
Then again, he couldn't let anyone else in on the fact that Ed had only joined the military to find the Philosopher's Stone.
His thoughts flew back to Ed. Ed who no longer existed. Ed who would no longer be standing in front of him, furiously bellowing in his ear. Ed who would never know that his Colonel was hopelessly, desperately, madly in love with him....
He wailed loudly, banging his head on the desk. His shoulders shook as he sobbed harder than he ever had in his life.
Hawkeye burst through the door. Roy looked up, hoping against hope that Ed had come back, but banged his head on the desk again when he realized that it was only Hawkeye.
"S-sir?" She almost whispered, fearfully. She shuffled nervously up to his desk and leaned forward so that she was barely a foot away.
"Sir?" She repeated, biting her lip.
He couldn't, he decided. There was no way he could live without Edward. He calmed down for a moment and sat in silence. He prayed. He prayed to a God he no longer believed in, and hoped that there was an afterlife and that Ed would be in it.
With cat-like reflexes, he grabbed Riza's pistol out of its holster and pointed it directly under his chin.
"Sir, NO!" Riza cried out, reaching for the gun.
'I'm coming, Ed,' he thought, smiling softly.
BANG.
A shot rang out, echoing off of the walls. It echoed throughout Central HeadQuarters, earning many gasps and alarmed yells.
A small smile graced the Colonel's lips as he slumped forward in his seat, his head landing on the desk with a small thud. Blood oozed out from under the man's head, staining the wooden desk and The Letters forever.