Mr. Chair felt like passing out. It was like in those movies where the background fades away and you see the person standing there and then little cracks appear. Yeah that was Mr. Chair. He just stood there, staring at one small piece of plastic that would change his life forever.

Mr. Chair POV
'No, no, no, nononononono! This can't be happening, it's just not possible. I'm a guy...but then again-no! Grrrrr, damn the French really are talented if he can get a guy pregnant. Wait! What am I thinking. ARGH! This just isn't real.' My mind was a blur of "what if's" and "how's" but none of that was helping. It was all just giving me a headache.
I didn't know if this was a Christmas miracle or a curse.
'AHA! I know, I've finally gone insane. Yup...uh huh, that's it. I'm crazy.' That made sense right? What do I know, I'm crazy.
'I need a second opinion.' But I was scared to look at the second one. I wasn't stupid, always buy two, just to be sure. Yup, it was positive too. I'm officially insane.
"Stephano!" I shouted. Maybe he could understand what the hell was going on.
"What?"
"I'm insane," I stated bluntly. Stephano blinked a few times before laughing.
"No shit. We're all insane to live in this dump."
"No, I'm really crazy Stephano. I've lost it."
"And why do you say that?"
"Because I swear this thing says I'm pregnant." Stephano took the test and looked at for a whole two seconds before smiling.
"Then you're pregnant. You're pregnant. YOU'RE PREGNANT! AND I'M THE FATHER!" He looked ready to faint.
"Oh so you see it too? Great we're both insane."
"Non. Mon amour! Zhis iz magnifique!" Stephano's accent thickened when he got excited. He was definitely excited. He looked like a puppy, with big gold eyes and a the energy practically radiating off of him.
"A Christmas miracle! Oh mon Dieu! Je vais être un père, et vous êtes la mère. C'est le meilleur cadeau de Noël jamais! Je t'aime." Stephano slipped into French before pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. I squeaked and blushed but kissed back.
Stephano ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened for him.
'No wonder I got pregnant.' My thoughts cut off when I bumped the bed and was pushed back gently. I lay down on the bed and Stephano crawled on top of me.
"Nous devons célébrer cette occasion spéciale. Et j'ai l'intention de faire la plupart du temps nous avons laissé avant que nous ne pouvons plus faire l'amour. Joyeux Noël, ma petite femme."
'Did he just call me his wife?' I thought with a heavy blush. His French alway did this to me. I got an erection just hearing the language. Probably because whenever we had sex the English language flew from his mind. He also slipped into French when he was REALLY angry or REALLY happy.

Piggeh POV
The moans from Stephano and Mr. Chair's room were increasing in volume. I smirked and slid the empty vial into my pocket.
"Operation slip a baby-making potion into Mr. Chair's drink: complete success!"

Mr. Chair POV
Stephano lay down next to me and pulled me into his arms. We were both breathing heavily and panting, but despite that and the sweat clinging to both of us I cuddled closer.
"Bonne nuit, mon petit chaton."
"Good night, Stephano."

Translations:

Oh my God! I'm going to be a father, and you're the mother. This is the best Christmas present ever! I love you.

Oh mon Dieu! Je vais être un père, et vous êtes la mère. C'est le meilleur cadeau de Noël jamais! Je t'aime

We must celebrate this special occasion. And I intend to make the most of the time we have left before we can no longer make love. Merry Christmas, my little wife.

Nous devons célébrer cette occasion spéciale. Et j'ai l'intention de faire la plupart du temps nous avons laissé avant que nous ne pouvons plus faire l'amour. Joyeux Noël, ma petite femme.

Good night, my little kitten.

Bonne nuit, mon petit chaton.