A/N: Okay, so I don't usually write slash and I never write smut. This is NOT smut, so if that's what you're looking for, click away! This is a super cute story about Remus and Sirius told from Sirius' POV. It's completely PG-13! So if you're looking for something cute, short, and happy, this is for you!
I Don't Care Anymore
By: Lori Lynn
2010
Sirius pushed the front door of his flat open and quickly closed it behind him, securing the cold air outside and shivered. It was damn cold out. He saw that Remus was sitting on the far end of the couch, leaning over his notebook seemingly in deep thought before he unwrapped the scarf from around his neck and took his jacket off. He slung it over the dining room chair and flopped down on the couch next to his friend.
Remus glanced at him from the corner of his eye, but then went right back to his writing.
"Aren't you going to say hello?" Sirius asked.
"Aren't you?" Remus returned, his quill not stopping across the page.
"Hello," Sirius said, sinking back into the couch as the room lapsed back into silence. "My date was horrible," he said after awhile. "Thanks for asking."
Remus finally set his quill down on the side table and looked at him. "Poor, poor Sirius," he said. "If only things would go better for Sirius."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. "What's got you in such a rotten mood?"
"I'm trying to work on this," Remus told him, gesturing to his notebook. "If you didn't notice I was busy..."
"Sorry..."
Remus picked his quill back up and went back to his writing.
"Excuse me for wanting a little sympathy from my bestest friend in the whole wide world."
Remus set his quill down again with a long sigh. "Sirius..." he said in a warning voice.
Sirius sat up and leaned toward Remus, smiling. "C'mon, Remus... quit being such a stick in the mud!"
Remus' eyes met Sirius' and Sirius knew he had won. Sirius' winning smile never lost. Remus looked down at his watch briefly and then back at Sirius, sighing. "Okay, tell me about your miserable date. You've got ten minutes!"
Sirius grinned, pulling his legs up on the couch. He went into all the grizzly details about how she had kept him waiting a half hour... him! Sirius Black... a whole half hour! And then about how he had caught her picking her nose when he had returned from the rest room during dinner. Remus repressed a chuckle at that. The whole dinner had been horrendous. She had asked him inappropriate questions and talked incessantly about her odd insect collection. But the kicker was after dinner when he brought her home, they had been standing on her front porch, and she had asked him, "do you mind girls with prosthetic legs?"
Remus burst out laughing along with Sirius at the end of his story, and Sirius looked over at Remus, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "See?" he said. "Aren't you glad you listened? I told you it was a horrible date!"
Remus held his stomach, trying to stop laughing, "I guess you're right," he admitted, wiping at his own tears. "A prosthetic leg... are you for real?"
Sirius sat up straight and tried to look sober. "Cross my heart," he said. "Honestly, though. This whole dating thing is getting ridiculous. I haven't been on one decent date in months. And this one just takes the cake!"
"Now you know why I steer clear," Remus said, raising an eyebrow at him.
Sirius didn't answer. The truth was Remus hadn't been on a date since they graduated from Hogwarts two years ago. He didn't know why Remus wasn't into the whole dating thing, but he was pretty sure that wasn't it. "Anyway," he said. "I might take a break. You know, let the pool fill back up. I think I'm getting a lot of the bottom dwellers..."
"You?" Remus asked. "Sirius Black? Getting bottom dwellers?"
Sirius swung a couch pillow at him, and they burst out laughing once more.
A week later, Sirius had come down with a horrible virus. He was in his room recovering when the door creaked open slowly.
"Sirius?"
Sirius uncovered his face from the blankets so he could see Remus entering the room. The light was so bright, that he covered himself back up quickly. "Ugh."
"Oh, sorry."
The lights snapped back out and Sirius peeked out again. "What is it?"
"I just came to check on you," Remus said. "You've been moping around for two days... I'm starting to get worried."
"It's called being sick," Sirius told him.
Remus knelt down in front of the bed, putting his arms on the edge and leaning in close to Sirius. "That's exactly why I'm worried," he said.
Sirius smiled at him. "Aren't you afraid of catching anything?"
"I never get sick," Remus said, shaking his head. "Only during my change..." he trailed off.
"Well, I'm fine," Sirius assured him. "You can stop worrying. I'll already feeling better. I'm not even stuffed up anymore."
Sirius sucked in a breath when Remus reached forward and placed his cool hand Sirius' hot forehead. He didn't know why his heart sped up or why he felt like moving away yet didn't, but he bit the bottom of his lip, waiting.
Remus pulled his hand away. "You have a fever." he said. "Are you getting enough to drink?"
Sirius pointed to the glass of water on the nightstand. "See?" he said.
Remus raised an eyebrow at him. "It looks untouched to me."
"I'm trying," Sirius said, smiling at him.
Remus reached over and moved a strand of hair from Sirius' forehead, and Sirius grabbed his wrist. His friend was getting a little too close for comfort. And not only that, but he didn't care for the way his heart was beating wildly.
Remus' face turned white, and his hand went slack in Sirius'. "I'm sorry," he said, his hand slipping away. He stood up, and his eyes fell away from Sirius'. "I'll let you rest. I hope you feel better."
Sirius watched him walk out of the room and tried to say something, but no words came. He couldn't put anything coherent together, no matter how hard he tried. He laid there in bed for a few more minutes, frozen, going over what had happened and listening to his heart beat. He thought about Remus sitting alone out in the living room somewhere, and he felt sick.
Suddenly, everything made sense. He knew why Remus hadn't gone on any dates since Hogwarts... or at least he thought he did. Maybe. What confused him even more was the fact that he was now getting out of bed slowly, his heart in his throat.
His legs ached from being in bed for two days, and his head felt slightly dizzy, but he didn't care. He walked out of his room and ventured out into the living. He didn't find Remus there so he went to Remus' bedroom and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his face still white.
Remus looked up at him in surprise. "Sirius—"
"Remus, I'm sorry," Sirius said, walking into the room and sitting next to him on the bed. "I should have stopped you from leaving... I just... couldn't open my big mouth."
Remus was quiet for a second, and then he smiled. "This is new," he said. "A speechless Sirius..."
"Don't push it," Sirius warned, and it fell silent again. "Anyway, I think we need to talk about something."
Remus sighed and turned his head away. "I know what you're going to say."
"You're my best friend," Sirius told him. "We shouldn't have anything between us."
"I'm sorry," Remus said quietly. "I'm really sorry, Sirius. I've made this horribly awkward for you. And the last thing I want is for things to change between us because you're the best friend I've ever had. You know that, right?"
Sirius got the impression that his friend was on the verge of tears, so he looked over at him and felt his heart break slightly to see a tear already streaming down Remus' cheek. Without thinking, he reached over and grabbed his hand. "Merlin," he said. "Don't cry... Don't you see, Remus? You're not going to lose me!" He tried to smile at him, but was afraid it came across like an awkward grin. "You're stuck with me!"
The next thing he knew, Remus' arms were around his neck, and they were hugging each other. Sirius' heart beat furiously, his arms drawing around Remus' back and his hands falling on his shoulder blades.
After a few moments, Remus pulled away and looked at him. "How stuck?" he asked, laughing awkwardly.
Sirius looked at him, terrified, but somehow, when Remus reached for his hand again, he didn't pull away. Sirius gulped. Yesterday, if someone had asked him if he had been thinking of his best friend in this way, he would have laughed, but now, he was looking seriously at Remus, holding tightly to his hand. "Very stuck," he replied.
"You're not freaked out?" Remus asked.
Sirius wasn't sure how to reply. "Yes, I'm freaked," he said, looking away for a moment, running his other hand through his hair and then turning back to Remus. "But for some reason I'm not running away..."
Remus reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Sirius' ear. "That's always driving me nuts," he said.
This time when Sirius snatched his hand out of the air, he used it to pull Remus in close, and for a second, the two of the of them were face to face, staring at one another. In the next moment, Remus leaned in the rest of the way, pressing his lips to Sirius' in a kiss that was like no other that Sirius had ever had before. Something inside of him lit up that hadn't ever moved before. He dropped Remus' hands and instead pulled him in by the sides of his shirt. When they broke apart, Remus was straddling Sirius' lap and they both breathing heavily. Sirius' head was spinning, and Remus held him upright.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked, breathlessly.
Sirius tightened his hold on Remus' shirt and pulled him in even closer. "I'm fine," he insisted. "But one thing's for sure. You're definitely stuck with me. Whether you like it or not."
"What do you mean?" Remus asked. "Sirius, don't get me wrong... I'm thrilled, but... I had the impression that you weren't exactly... you know..."
Sirius stared at him. "I guess I am," he said without thinking and then shook his head. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. Gay... straight... whatever. It really doesn't matter."
Remus looked at him hopefully. "It doesn't?"
"I don't care anymore," Sirius said. "I've never felt like this before."
"You haven't?" Remus placed one of his cool hands on the side of Sirius' face.
"And I've been a moron for not seeing it sooner," Sirius finished, looking away from Remus and at the collar of his shirt. "I'm sorry. You've been waiting... haven't you." Sirius felt Remus' lips on his hot forehead, and he melted, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.
"I would have waited a lot longer," Remus said into Sirius' ear. "You weren't ready."
Sirius found a soft area under Remus' jawline and hesitated before pressing his lips there, feeling Remus shiver. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and couldn't believe this was happening. Remus was his best friend, and everything about him was so familiar... yet so new at the same time. "It must have been hard for you," he said against Remus' neck. "I've been such a jerk."
"No," Remus said, slightly out of breath. "I mean yes, it was a little hard. No, you weren't a jerk." He put his hands on either side of Sirius' face so that they were looking at each other again. "This isn't going to be easy, Sirius. Are you sure you want to do this?"
Sirius frowned at him. "What do you mean, am I sure? Why are you giving me an out? That's so like you, Remus. Of course, I'm sure! Do you honestly think I would be doing this if I wasn't sure?"
Remus looked at him, dumbstruck, and then chuckled. "I guess not," he said. "I just don't want you to wake up tomorrow and be like, oh my, god... what was I thinking!"
"Guys don't typically make out at random," Sirius informed him, smirking. "I can guarantee it. Well, at least straight guys don't."
"Have you ever kissed a guy before?" Remus wanted to know.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you think?"
"I'm guessing not," Remus replied, looking away for a moment and then smiling at him. "Does it make you feel better to know that I haven't either?"
"I'm not sure..." Sirius said, laughing. "All that means is that we're a couple of losers, doesn't it?"
Remus laughed, smoothing Sirius' hair down and tucking it behind his ears. "But what I meant is that yeah, things might be great, because trust me, I'm thrilled that you feel this way... but eventually, we're going to have to tell our friends... and I have a feeling that won't be as fun."
The smile faded from Sirius' face. He hadn't thought about telling people until Remus had brought it up. He slid his hands up the back of Remus' shirt and pressed his fingers to his skin, watching Remus' face as he melted into him. "We'll worry about it later," Sirius assured him, a small smile returning. "Right now, this will be ours... okay?"
Remus answered him by leaning forward, his hands tangled in Sirius' hair, and kissed him.
