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"A Bad Omen"

hey~ yadda yadda, this is Shiki attempting comedy. Feel free to tell me if I nailed it or not. This is one of my very first times attempting it, to be honest. Every character is acting Out Of Character in this fanfiction. It's for sk-fan7's contest. yeeeeeeeeup.

rated M for subject matter (sexual remarks, someone dies), and coarse language (people say fuck).

"It was a day of darkness and despair. The clouds above swirled with their ominous voids threatening to swallow me whole—me and everything I stood for. As I reached my hands up toward my windowpane, a solemn sob left my lips like a fleeting memory. No one would hear it, and thus no one to come to my rescue. Darkness, surrounding every inch of me—I would not let it win this time. I would rise up from the ashes like a Phoenix and face the day with ardent fervor. This day belonged to me. In this day, I had successfully become king. This day—"

"Horohoro, it's time for breakfast."

"…CURSES! Then I must save my lamenting for later. Still, those clouds represented no rain or thunderstorm, no. It was a bad omen: wicked and spiteful, with a maw that would tear open my insides and devour them whole."

"The weather channel said it would rain today."

"GODDAMMIT YOH, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

Sitting around the table, most of Yoh's friends at the Funbari Onsen were sighing to themselves. Horohoro was being quite dramatic again. Everything was always with the theatrics and things going 'wrong' and the world being a horrible and disgusting place. Faust tolerated him, if only for the fact that he could be quite poetic at times with his monologues and soliloquies. The only one who didn't seem to be paying him any attention was Ren, the resident fatass.

Without much regard toward what anyone else was eating or waiting for, he had effortlessly indulged himself in everything that the table had to offer. Stares from all four corners of the table were exchanged in the Chinese shaman's direction, but he never took notice until he downed the glass of juice at his side and let out a strong exhale. "Ahhhhhhh! Fuck this is so good! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" While the rest stared in annoyance, Anna who had made herself into the maid for the boys, strolled back up inside of the room with a small timid smile playing across her features.

"Oh. It seems that all of that wonderful food I prepared has gone missing," she giggled out softly while adjusting her apron. Yoh couldn't help but notice that Anna was actually wearing clothes beneath her maid attire. When she entered the room once more, he tilted his head to the side and took a good nice look at her behind. Not bad, he thought to himself, but it could definitely be better.

"Anna, what have I told you about wearing clothes around the house?" he commented with a twisted smile. No one seemed to really mind Yoh's perverted nature, all except for Tamao who sat right beside him with a spoon in her hand that she was so close to bending with her thumb out of pure unadulterated rage. For as long as she could remember, she had the biggest crush on Yoh, and the fact that he was practically a total horndog with his girlfriend grated on her nerves so dangerously. No, Tamao would not use the word "fiancée." She would rather die than believe that this foolish arrangement was permanent. Mark her words. If Yoh wanted a dirty girl, he would definitely get one, in time.

"Uhhh," Anna stuttered with a fierce flush painting her face. She couldn't really say whether she liked or disliked the way that Yoh treated her in public. It was arousing but, what would their friends think of them with the way that he spoke to her? Wanting someone else's opinion, she laughed awkwardly and threw her eyes across the table to Pirika. "P-Pirika-chan, don't you think that Yoh is funny?" she questioned, hoping that someone thought that he was joking. There couldn't possibly be a person here that believed that Yoh was serious, right? He was so brazen about it. There had to be some excuse.

As usual, Pirika was dressed in all black with her eyes boring deep into the journal in her lap. Her pencil was scooting back and forth across the page as she documented her surroundings. When attention was called toward her, she brought her sharp cold blue eyes up to gaze at Anna. It seemed that both her and her brother appeared to be in a relative stupor today. Her words were so frigid. "I think he's a perverted fuck," she spoke with her tenor heavy.

It was as if an arrow shot through the room itself. Everything grew quiet for a moment after she spoke. The weight of her words filled the air and suffocated all—taking their hearts and souls down with it, to an abyss of torture and dis—

"Horohoro, stop narrating," Yoh spoke up dully, still trying to focus on Pirika's words. They were almost like… a bad omen.

"I'm fucking serious. Don't make me come up there."

Anna let out an estranged sigh as she turned around to head back into the kitchen. She moved quickly to avoid Yoh who was likely to slap her ass upon returning to her aforementioned station. The room didn't return to its bustling and interactive atmosphere just yet. All were pretty much in their own little distant worlds with the exception of Ren. His finger was so far up his nose, he questioned if he could poke his brain. And then he tried to.

A loud shout echoed out through the entire building it seemed when their last visitor for breakfast had arrived. "Little bro! Are you heeere?" shouted the gleeful elder Asakura as he stepped through the front door and immediately began to jettison down the halls, searching for where the others were stationed. Beneath his arm, almost positioned like a teddy bear or a baby doll of sorts was of course, Oyamada Manta. He didn't seem to be all that thrilled to be carried around like a child, and kept his sardonic gaze poised up toward the other man. "Put me the fuck down," he growled out between gritted teeth.

Arriving into the room, Hao grinned wide and rushed over to embrace his brother. Still holding Manta in the process, this made for a very awkward situation. He couldn't help it though! People were so amazing, and so beautiful! He wanted to take every human being on earth and snuggle them into his bosom. They were the light of his life, the apple of his eye—oh how this little shorty in his arms was a blessing full of joy. "I saw Manta on the way here and I picked him up for you! We can't have him missing out on all of the fun, right?" Hao exclaimed with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

With all of the physical contact that was going on between Yoh and someone else, Tamao was about to break the damn table in half. Standing up with a huff, the pinkette excused herself to the bathroom without another word spoken. No one but Pirika seemed to notice the way that she stomped off, but she squinted with a frown. "Bad omen."

And when Tamao opened the bathroom door, she found Ryu with his head in the toilet, dead.