Perfection was always something I had craved. Anything from my wrestling
moves to my simple everyday speech, it all needed to be perfect. I knew
that one day I would be my ideal self. I figured that the empty space that
I always felt was my filthy overall presentation. The person that I was,
the impure soul that inhabited my body, was soon made whole when I met him.
He was perfect. He was everything I wanted to be. His emotions were always so controlled, and his looks far surpassed everyone that he was competing with . His intelligence was the best of the best. He was like a new toy, and I was the one under the bed collecting dust.
But that was before we met each other and treated each other as equals. He was so kind to me, and I treated him the same way. We would joke, laugh, agree, argue, cry and fight all together. He was like a perfect friend. Perfect. There is that word again. Yes, he's so perfect. So perfect and whole, he had enough of himself to even fill me up.
Yes, he filled that empty space in me. Once he told me those three special words, those words that can make and later break a person. You know the words I'm talking about. When he told me this, I got so relaxed and I realized that I loved him too. He made me feel so… warm inside. He made me feel so… perfect.
From that day on I saw him differently. His eyes weren't just eyes, they were perfect crystals, the great blue color of the ocean. His hair was so silky, soft and shiny, his was even better than mine. His skin was so soft and clear, only after matches would there be a rare abrasion on his perfect exterior. And his touch, his touch was so gently and caring, like a mother's for her baby. And when he held my hand in his, I felt so different. And his taste… yes, his taste, he was like strawberries. When our lips collided, it always felt like you were underwater for an extended period of time, and you finally reached the surface and took a breath of fresh, clean air. Yes, that was it. He was the air I breathed. He was the very thing that supported my life.
Now here I am, tired, broken, and so filthy. Oh, so filthy. Dirty. Disgusting. There is no way I can survive without him now. He was my life support… No, he was my very life. He was the only reason I kept myself intact. I can still taste him every time I lick my lips. I can feel his gentle touch every time something brushes against my skin. When I hear the echoes in the wind, I can hear his sweet voice, beckoning me to come back to him. When I look into the clouds, it reminds me of him. We would look up at the clouds and ever the stars together. And when I look down at the ripples in the water, the ripples caused by my tears, I can see a special reflection in it. And no, it's not my reflection. It's a reflection of him, and all the love I felt for him. It was so stupid of me to believe his words.
Now, I know how to become pure again, as pure as the very blood in my body. Yes, the blood in my body. Perfect. My only escape is to eliminate every thought of him from my body. And the only way to get rid of him is to get rid of myself. Yes, I'm taking the easy way out. That's the only way I can cleanse myself. Cleanse him, too. Make him suffer for the sins he committed, make him suffer. Revenge is so sweet, I only wish I would be able to see the pain written on his face when his true love is gone. True love? What am I saying? If I were his true love, he wouldn't have cheated on me. He caused so much pain for me…
Oh, Chris, why did you run away from me? Why did you let yourself drift away? Did you want to give me this pain? Did you want to cause this suffering for me?
The razor in my hand, this is the only way I can be clean. This is the only thing that can save me… It's so sharp; I can't feel it as it slices through my wrists. It only hurts when I see the small streams of blood emerge from the cuts of purification. This is only a small price for me to pay to make him suffer. I won't feel the pain in a little bit… That main vein in my neck, where is it? The side? Yes, there it is. Why am I crying if I know this is what I want to do? The tears are stinging my eyes… but I can't stop now. I can't turn back. This is the only way, the only way… The… Only… Way…
Chris Jericho!! This is all your fault!! You ran from me, didn't tell me the truth, broke our love, our friendship… Now there is nothing else I can do. You brought this upon yourself!! This blood on my wrist, may it forever stain your hands to remind you of the pain you brought upon us both. I am no longer your pawn perfect one! Go to the one you chose over me, that Stephanie McMahon…
Yes, now, that vein. It won't hurt, it won't—ow. Everything is getting so blurry... Everything… is now... perfect…
Fin
He was perfect. He was everything I wanted to be. His emotions were always so controlled, and his looks far surpassed everyone that he was competing with . His intelligence was the best of the best. He was like a new toy, and I was the one under the bed collecting dust.
But that was before we met each other and treated each other as equals. He was so kind to me, and I treated him the same way. We would joke, laugh, agree, argue, cry and fight all together. He was like a perfect friend. Perfect. There is that word again. Yes, he's so perfect. So perfect and whole, he had enough of himself to even fill me up.
Yes, he filled that empty space in me. Once he told me those three special words, those words that can make and later break a person. You know the words I'm talking about. When he told me this, I got so relaxed and I realized that I loved him too. He made me feel so… warm inside. He made me feel so… perfect.
From that day on I saw him differently. His eyes weren't just eyes, they were perfect crystals, the great blue color of the ocean. His hair was so silky, soft and shiny, his was even better than mine. His skin was so soft and clear, only after matches would there be a rare abrasion on his perfect exterior. And his touch, his touch was so gently and caring, like a mother's for her baby. And when he held my hand in his, I felt so different. And his taste… yes, his taste, he was like strawberries. When our lips collided, it always felt like you were underwater for an extended period of time, and you finally reached the surface and took a breath of fresh, clean air. Yes, that was it. He was the air I breathed. He was the very thing that supported my life.
Now here I am, tired, broken, and so filthy. Oh, so filthy. Dirty. Disgusting. There is no way I can survive without him now. He was my life support… No, he was my very life. He was the only reason I kept myself intact. I can still taste him every time I lick my lips. I can feel his gentle touch every time something brushes against my skin. When I hear the echoes in the wind, I can hear his sweet voice, beckoning me to come back to him. When I look into the clouds, it reminds me of him. We would look up at the clouds and ever the stars together. And when I look down at the ripples in the water, the ripples caused by my tears, I can see a special reflection in it. And no, it's not my reflection. It's a reflection of him, and all the love I felt for him. It was so stupid of me to believe his words.
Now, I know how to become pure again, as pure as the very blood in my body. Yes, the blood in my body. Perfect. My only escape is to eliminate every thought of him from my body. And the only way to get rid of him is to get rid of myself. Yes, I'm taking the easy way out. That's the only way I can cleanse myself. Cleanse him, too. Make him suffer for the sins he committed, make him suffer. Revenge is so sweet, I only wish I would be able to see the pain written on his face when his true love is gone. True love? What am I saying? If I were his true love, he wouldn't have cheated on me. He caused so much pain for me…
Oh, Chris, why did you run away from me? Why did you let yourself drift away? Did you want to give me this pain? Did you want to cause this suffering for me?
The razor in my hand, this is the only way I can be clean. This is the only thing that can save me… It's so sharp; I can't feel it as it slices through my wrists. It only hurts when I see the small streams of blood emerge from the cuts of purification. This is only a small price for me to pay to make him suffer. I won't feel the pain in a little bit… That main vein in my neck, where is it? The side? Yes, there it is. Why am I crying if I know this is what I want to do? The tears are stinging my eyes… but I can't stop now. I can't turn back. This is the only way, the only way… The… Only… Way…
Chris Jericho!! This is all your fault!! You ran from me, didn't tell me the truth, broke our love, our friendship… Now there is nothing else I can do. You brought this upon yourself!! This blood on my wrist, may it forever stain your hands to remind you of the pain you brought upon us both. I am no longer your pawn perfect one! Go to the one you chose over me, that Stephanie McMahon…
Yes, now, that vein. It won't hurt, it won't—ow. Everything is getting so blurry... Everything… is now... perfect…
Fin