A/N: Warning! Yaoi follows! Boy x Boy!! To put it bluntly, gay sex people! Smut... Of course, thats what most of you are here for right? You sick people you. xD Jk. But, if that stuff creeps you out, turn back! Or if you dislike the pairing, why did you click this anyway? Rated M for future lemon-type stuff. But enough of this. Get reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does, and my name isn't Tite Kubo.
Ichigo slumped at his desk, studying. Or at least making a feeble attempt to. He pushed up his pink rimmed glasses, under the impression this simple action would magically help him focus. Much to his dismay, it didn't. An innocent bystander, had there been one, would have been under the impression that Kon, tangoing with his clone around the room, or Ichigo's keychain of himself, or even the plushie version of Byakuya quietly observing the scene from Ichigo's bed might have been providing the distraction.
Rukia had recently found it fit to check out Ichigo's computer and had bought the stuff online. Apparently they had fans. Lots of them. Ichigo saw it all as nonsense. It was probably some of Uryuu's handicraft made solely for the intent of creeping him out. And if it was, it was certainly working.
But despite all of that, it wasn't the source of his headache, and lack of focus. All of it, every single bit of it could be traced back to a certain redhead. As much as Ichigo wanted to believe it, it wasn't Orihime, or even Rangiku. No, it was the Squad six lieutenant. It was Renji. Renji Abarai. Ichigo's ally, and more importantly, his friend. Or, at least that's what he was telling himself Renji was. That, that was the source of his headache.
To assuage the throbbing in his temples he walked, no, stumbled out of his chair, down the stairs and in the general direction of the kitchen. Flinging the cupboard open, slightly irritated, he was greeted by the sight of seemingly hundreds of bottles.
I guess that's what I get for living in a clinic… But seriously? All these goddamn pills in one place? Did it ever occur to Dad to keep the clinic's pills in a separate place from our general stuff? Dammit, where the hell is he anyway?
Figuring the headache was less agony than digging through the mountains of pill bottles he traipsed back up the stairs, with the intention of studying. As if it was ever going to happen. On his way back to his room, he found a note on the counter.
"Hey Ichigo! We're gone for a couple days. Dad's dragging us somewhere, he says it will be fun, and said you wouldn't mind being left behind. Stay safe! –Yuzu P.S. I left some instant ramen in the cupboard for you for when you get hungry. :)"
Of course. Leave me here. Whatever…
Resuming the insurmountable task of studying, Ichigo cracked open his science book, and started to read. Reaching the end of the page, he found that he could recall nothing of what he had just read. His thoughts had been clouded with that of Renji. Impossibly crimson hair… Sleek, black tattoos…
"No!" Ichigo growled at no one in particular. Kon had long since fallen asleep in Yuzu's room, so his room was completely void of anyone other than himself. "No, no no!! He's nothing more than that of a close friend. I'm just confusing my feelings of friendship with that of…" Ichigo couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.
With added vigor, he pushed his glasses up, and concentrated only on the words printed in the book in front of him. It didn't take his mind long to wander. What he saw was Renji, chest barren, gazing at Ichigo with a sort of lust. What he saw scared the hell out of him. So much so he ended up falling out of his chair, and leaning against his wall, head between his knees, breathing through broken sobs glasses left forgotten on the floor next to him.
Inside him emotions clashed in a battle royal. Part of him wanted to embrace his fantasy, and do whatever it took to make it come true, even if it meant forfeiting his male pride. Another part denied it; denied it so forcefully it brought him to the brink of tears, which was ironic because Ichigo's idea of "male pride" was the main roadblock between him, and acceptance.
What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm a man; I'm supposed to like girls! Girls dammit! Renji's my friend, how can I think like this? It's just wrong, so very, very wrong.
"Ahhh… I see now. You're in love with your friend. I guess that's always a problem.. Buuuut, seeing as said friend is a male as well, that could be a problem for…" The hollow that resided inside Ichigo's head began to taunt him. "A problem for me… Seeing as I for one am not-"
Shut up! Damn you stupid hollow!! Stay out of this. Ichigo focused all his energy on shutting him out. Go AWAY!!! You don't need to interfere!
"Oh, but Ichi-kun, I do. You're always interfering with me, now aren't you? I never get to have any fun now do I?"
This is different! You're a hollow!! You don't-
A very familiar sound interrupted his internal debate. Ichigo raised his head and froze. His glassy eyes had locked onto the very last person he wanted to see right now.
"Well, well, this should be interesting…" With those words, the hollow faded away, leaving Ichigo confused, and now, in a furious rage.
Damn you! Damn you Renji! Why the hell do you choose now of all times? Of all the godforsaken times you could have tumbled through that window you chose now?!? When I'm sitting here, in shambles? Damn you to hell.
Unlatching the window, Renji flew through the window rocking his signature wolf grin. Ichigo on the other hand, was beyond mortified. Blushing, he turned his head to hide his reddening face and glossy eyes. Ichigo braced himself for the worst. For taunting, teasing and intense questioning on how he was reduced to a sniveling weakling.
"Oh my god! Ichigo what happened?" Renji's voice was warm with care and understanding, not cold with malevolence, and Ichigo had expected.
"Fuck off… Y-you're the last person I need to see right now. N-nothing's so wrong that you should concern yourself with it." Ichigo tried as hard as he could to sharpen his words to a point, but it came out more embarrassed and small.
Renji walked over to Ichigo, crouched down, and grabbed his shoulders, forcing Ichigo to look straight into his crimson eyes. "Stop fooling yourself Ichigo. You know damn well there is something seriously wrong. This isn't like you at all. Ichigo, I'm your friend, an ally, you can tell me what's wrong."
What the hell? Renji's… Renji's not like this? Since when did he become so understanding? He should… be teasing me… Slapping sense into me! Beating me to a pulp, telling me brooding is no way to deal with things!! Not… Not this!
"I can't. I just… I can't tell you Renji…" Ichigo averted his gaze staring at the trashcan just behind the shinigami crouched before him.
"Fuck yeah you can, and you will Ichigo. I jumped through your window and find you crumpled in a ball against the wall, choking back sobs. I'm not going to accept that the Ichigo Kurosaki I know would be reduced to that without something being seriously wrong. Now, I'm going to ask you again. What's wrong Ichigo?" Renji's warm voice had been laced with underlying tones of anger, giving him an air of dominance over the 15 year old before him.
"I… I just…" Ichigo stood up, attempting to preserve what little dignity he had left. He raised his head to look Renji in the eyes, and his fantasy returned to him, this time throwing him into a rage. "DAMN YOU!" In a swift motion, Ichigo grabbed Renji's uniform, and pulled back his fist, ready to strike.
Renji, as calm as ever, took the act in stride, calmly grabbing Ichigo's fist to prevent unnecessary violence. "Those words weren't directed at me were they? Now, I see that I'm not getting anywhere here." Ichigo's grip slackened, and he slumped to his knees. Renji crouched down once again to look the orange haired boy in the eyes but was instead treated to a view of his bowed head. "If you need to talk, when you're ready, you know where you can find me. Just know that I'm not going to forget this easily."
Renji patted Ichigo on the head endearingly, stood back up, and started for the window. As he did so, he felt a tug on the bottom of his hakama.
Poor boy really is screwed up isn't he? Could it be that he…? No. That's just being conceited.
Renji turned around to find Ichigo's hand weakly gripping his hakama, kneeling on the floor, head hung in shame, face and ears a deep scarlet, a single tear running down his cheek. He spoke so softly Renji could only make out bits and pieces. "Renji… I don't know what to think anymore… I'm… and girls… not… what's wrong with me… I just… you… I can't…" He let his hand drop to the floor, having completely lost any sense of anything anymore. He was only vaguely aware of Renji standing above him, more concerned with making sense out of his emotions.
It was. I see now… Poor Ichigo must be battling himself inside that dense little head of his. If only he knew, it'd make things a whole lot easier on him.
Renji knelt for the third time that day in front of teenager, and grasped his chin ever so gently, looking straight into his burnt honey colored eyes. "Ichigo…"
"Renji? Renji… I-I…" Before Ichigo could even finish his sentence, Renji's lips were pressed against his, in a gentle kiss, pushing him back, into the wall. Ichigo was taken aback; sat, rooted to his place, in shock, pinned against the wall, one of Renji's hands on the wall beside him, the other cupping the side of his face.
Renji opened his mouth, pressing his tongue against Ichigo's closed lips, begging for entrance. After a moment's hesitance, Ichigo complied, losing all awareness of anything other than the red headed Lieutenant before him. Ichigo even kissed back, pouring in all his emotions; his hurt; his confusion; but most of all, his sudden want, sudden need to be with Renji.
Ichigo explored Renji's mouth, Renji having backed down, knowing that it was Ichigo's first kiss. He enjoyed the warm, semi-sweet taste, memorizing every tooth, ridge and crevice. Renji stood them up, his legs having grown tired of crouching, never losing contact. Ichigo now grasped the back of Renji's tattooed neck with one hand, with his other hand pressed against Renji's flat, broad chest. And then, all too soon, Renji broke the kiss.
Hey, I'll update ASAP, I promise. If you guy have any super spectacular ideas for the next part, please don't hesitate to say so. :) Thanks for reading guys!
P.S. This is my first time writing any yaoi... So, the whole kiss thing? I've never done any of that myself. (Sad I know) So, I'm writing from what I've read from other things. So, don't kill me. :D Thats it, I'll stop talking now, I promise.