Within the Seireitei you'd think us shinigami would have a little break between hollow attacks, right? WRONG! Yamamoto-Sotaicho had this thing where if even one hollow was spotted he'd send over 10 shinigami [mostly unranked members] to deal with the one puny thing. "Shiba-fukutaicho, Ringo-san pinpointed the hollow about two meters from your current position." "All right then, Chiyo, take Ryuu and Mika and surround it from behind." I gave Shiba-fukutaicho a quick glance before I grabbed the back of Kurugima's [Mika] shihakusho. "Shuugo, let's go."
I tried to keep Ryuu and Mika behind me, however, Ryuu being a hot-head rushed out after the hollow. So instead of my small group taking the hollow by surprise we ended up being its warm up. Shiba-fukutaicho had lectured myself and Kurugima [Ryuu was in the 4th squad, unconscious and had a couple of wounds]; although right after Ukitake-taicho came in and Shiba-fukutaicho chilled out a bit.
"Chiyo-chan…wait up!" I turned around to see Sanako rushing up behind me. I stopped and waited for her to catch up. She was always a slow runner [part of the reason she hasn't made seated rank since she started]. "Hey, Sana-chan. Your taicho have nothing for you to do?" Sanako grinned. "Nah, he doesn't even know I left…he won't anyway." I looked at her dark brow raised. "Meaning what'd you do to distract him this time?" Sanako whistled before grabbing my wrist and pulling me. "Ow! What did you do Sana-chan?" I was really not in the mood to be caught in the middle of her pranks; especially with her captain, Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Don't get me wrong the guys a genius, when it comes to research and experimentations…but when it comes to humor and being social…yeah, well let's just say he needs help on that. Sanako just kept pulling me along. We went passed the 8th and 9th squad all the way to the 2nd squad where Soi Fon was busy training some of her newest recruits.
Sanako rushed us up to Soi Fon and quickly asked to hide in her room [it's one place Kurotsuchi doesn't seem to look for Sanako, strangely enough]. As usual Soi Fon let us [not sure why…Sanako seems to have that lucky streak I guess], and Sanako once again dragged me into the plain room. I think the only thing that woman had in the room was her weapons [kunai, shuriken, etc.]. "So, Sana-chan. Care to tell me what you've done this time?" Sanako grinned. "Well…I kind of asked Nemu if she'd distract Kurotsuchi-taicho." I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew this was going to be bad. "I snagged his truth serum. " I stared at her blankly. "Truth serum. We have that?" Now, I was confused. Why did we have a truth serum? I don't remember the last time we needed something like that. Oh, well. "Wait…truth serum…WHY?" I frowned when Sanako smiled. I really didn't like it when she smiled like that; means really bad things for me. Oh crap, what's she going to do to me? "It's been how long since you've told me that you like Kaien Shiba?" "Um, I don't know a couple months, maybe?" Sanako's smile dimmed a little, apparently that wasn't the answer she was looking for. "No, it's been 15 months Chi-chan. And it's about time you tell him…or better yet, have him tell you." Now I'm confused. What? "He lost his wife not even two years ago Sana-chan. He's still devastated and probably still mourning for her. I doubt he's going to be looking for someone any time soon. Besides, he's a good friend and I don't want to pressure him by doing anything like confessing to him so soon." Truth was I liked my fukutaicho when he was in the Academy. I started about two years after him and he was so nice to me back then. I never forgot how he stood up for me.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Flashback *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
It was the third week in to my first year and we were studying Kido spells. Unfortunately for me I stunk at Kido. My best skill was that I was quick on my feet in the middle of battle. If it wasn't for the fact that Kido was a skill that the squad I originally wanted to be in required I wouldn't have as much trouble keeping my grades up. But that was just the problem. I wanted to be in the 2nd squad like my idol, Yoruichi Shihouin, of the noble family. She was amazing and I admired her for lots of things. While she was a noble she certainly didn't act like it and she encouraged others to treat her as just your average shinigami as well. She was a fair taicho and she was also genuinely interested in her subordinate's welfare. I had met her a few times when she went out into the Rukon Districts. She was very nice to me then as well.
Anyway, I had been asked to stay behind to practice and have one-on-one training with my Kido spells. Sensei had assigned Minami Hoshino to help me. Problem with that is she HATES me. So I was still behind. Trying to hit the target…and always missing. "Hey, watch it!" So I did hit something…I think. I rushed over to the voice to see a guy with dark hair and blue eyes glaring at me. "Don't you know how to aim for a target that's right in front of you?" I sighed, eyes dropping to the ground, muttering no in response. "What did you say? And look at me when I'm talking to you." I sighed, again, and looked up at him. He was a good three inches or so taller than me. Thankfully I didn't have to crane my neck like some of the girls in my class had to do with most of the guys in the Academy…now I'm rambling. "Now, what did you say?" "I can't hit the stupid target, okay." The guy stilled and then burst out laughing, tears rolling down his cheeks. I just stared, clearly unamused and hurt that yet another person finds my lack of talent entertaining and something to make fun of. "I-I-I'm s-s-sorr-y but that's just too f-f-funny." He calmed down and introduced himself…then he began tutoring me and we became great friends.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Flashback Ends *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Sanako smiled. "I know how much he means to you Chi-chan. And I also know that he was in mourning for Miyako-chan. But I bet if you ask him how he feels about you it'll help him let her go and let you in." I shook my head. Miyako was his wife. She was his everything. I understand what that means to a person and to suddenly lose them the way Kaien did…that would take me a long time to get over. And interfering with his love life the way Sanako wants to do seemed rude and wrong to me. Then again, it's Sanako we're talking about. She does things despite what others think about it. So she'll do this even if I don't want to. Damn…I need to get her removed from the 12th division. She's a menace to us all in that squad.
That night Sanako had a little get together. Most of the taicho were there along with most of the 'cool' fukutaicho. There were seating arrangements [most were based on who got along with who] and I was paired next to Sanako and Kaien. Sanako made sure to give me some alcohol [just one small glass…otherwise I would never do what she had planned to happen]. Kaien seemed a little under the weather so she fixed him a 'strong' drink [I think it was just some carbonated water with the serum, not sure…I'm not going to drink it]. "Chi-chan…ask him now." I turned to her, clearly not ready. I had been watching Kaien for the most part of the evening. He was unhappy. I could tell. He wasn't smiling like he usually did, he was faking it. I bet if Sanako allowed alcohol near him tonight, he'd get drunk. "I don't think today is really a good day to ask. He looks miserable." I glanced over at him; he was watching some of the lower ranked shinigami dancing and chatting happily with one another. I wondered if he was thinking of Miyako right then. Sanako pushed me into him. "Say Shiba, Chi-chan has something she wants to show you." Kaien looked down at me, he still towered over me to this day by three inches, and quirked a brow at me. "And what is it you want to show me Chiyo?" I glared at Sanako but she gave me a simple thumbs up and shooed me away with a wave of her newly manicured nails [yeah, I wonder about that myself…she does lots of dirty work and still hasn't broken a nail? Strange]. I thought of something quick and grinned. "You'll just have to follow me and see, now won't you?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him along, almost like how Sanako pulls me around every day.
We arrived at the cemetery. I knew that if I was going to ask him about how he felt towards me the best place would be with his late wife nearby. Maybe she'd give him a sign to let her go and move on. Kaien slowed down as we walked up to Miyako's grave. It said "Miyako Shiba - May She Forever Rest In Piece - A great friend & wife - We love you". "Chiyo, what are you doing?" I stopped in front of Miyako's stone and turned to him. I kept my eyes focused on the ground for a moment, afraid of seeing his heart-broken gaze, and took a breath. "I remember back in the Academy…you were the best friend I ever had. And you met Miyako there. I remember how you used to talk about her all the time and how you tried to shy away from talking about how you felt towards her." I turned my head to look at the stone. Giving it one more glance I looked up into Kaien's blue eyes. From the short glance I saw he was confused and maybe a little hurt, so I pushed forward…hopefully this wouldn't end up breaking more hearts. "I understand that you may miss her…but I want to know…do you think you could love someone else? Maybe not right now, but later?" I swallowed a non-existent lump in my throat…I was terrified that Kaien would tell me to buzz off and leave him alone. Kaien hardly moved…I was beginning to worry. Maybe now wasn't the time to ask…like I told Sanako earlier. "Honestly, I don't know." He looked away from me to stare at Miyako's grave. "I don't know anything anymore. Ever since she went after that hollow I feel like I've been lost." I could tell there was more but I wasn't going to push it…I got my answer…no matter how much I didn't want to hear it. I nodded. "Yeah, I think I get it. I know she was your everything…and she probably still is, right? Well, t-that's all I wanted to ask." I brushed passed him and ran home.
~~*~~*~~*~~*Two Weeks Later*~~*~~*~~*~~
It had been a week since I've spoken to Sanako and two weeks since I've seen or heard from Kaien. Around the beginning I cried constantly before I'd go to bed. Yeah, I know that sounds awfully cheesy but he means a lot to me. And if you loved someone as much as I love Kaien…you'd cry too.
"Hanabi-san." I looked up to see Ukitake-taicho. He looked paler than usual and his eyes were darkened with black circles. "Ukitake-taicho…have you not been able to sleep lately?" I know how bad he usually has it. That's why Kaien and the rest of the squad try to do as much as we can to give Ukitake-taicho some ease, make it easier for him. He gave me a stern look, something he hardly ever does. "Ukitake-taicho…is there something wrong?" I gulp nervously. When Ukitake-taicho gets upset it's very unsettling and definitely not something one wants to do. He sighed. "I know it may not be my business per say. But I've been noticing that you and Kaien haven't spoken to each other in a few weeks. Also you haven't spoken to Miyabi-san lately either." He moved a chair [I was sitting in the 13th division's cafeteria/break room. Hey we all need a little break and most of us don't want to be stuck in our rooms alone half the time] and sat at my side. He placed a hand over mine, comfortingly. "I may not know the whole story this time but I do know that several of my subordinates haven't been as happy as usual. Care to tell me what's been keeping you from joining me and Shunsui lately?" I looked away from my taicho. What he means is…instead of Kaien going with Ukitake-taicho when he goes to drink with Kyoraku-taicho I go with them. Mostly because I enjoy watching them act normal and I get to hear about when they were younger and when the Academy first started. "I rather not talk about it really." Thing is when it's taicho I give that excuse to…he doesn't really listen. "Hanabi-san, you may not want to talk about it. But you know that it will help." I sighed and looked over at him. He was always kind and he tried to understand so much. "I'm not sure where to start." Taicho smiled gently. "When did you start caring?" I sighed. Memory lane, here we go again. "I think about the time when he started telling some of my classmates to leave me alone. Back in the Academy I wanted to go into the 2nd division. Problem for me was I really sucked at Kido. Sensei had wanted me to stay back and have some one-on-one with the star pupil of my year, thing was that pupil happened to be the brat Minami Hoshino. She made fun of me ever since I tripped up the stairs the second day of class. So instead every day I would stay behind and try to hit the target…and every time I would miss. I was told that my skill range was more close combat rather than far range. One day I accidently hit someone as they were leaving. Turns out it was Kaien. He did his usual greeting thing and I spilled that I couldn't hit the target and he ended up tutoring me. I think it was about seven months later that I realized that I really liked him…but by then he finally introduced me to M-Miyako." I gulped down the lump in my throat. That day was a heart breaking day for me. That was the day I gave up on ever being with Kaien.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Kaien's POV *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Overhearing Chiyo speaking with our Taicho was eye opening to me; all those years, all the times I lingered on thoughts of being with Chiyo instead of Miyako, all the times I've second guessed my relationship with Miyako. Icould have done something about that feeling I had. Now, I loved Miyako as a man would love his wife. My parents taught me that I should love my wife as not just my wife but as my best friend, my confider, and my lover. Miyako was just my wife. Chiyo is my best friend, my confider, and my everything, yet she's just my friend and my crush. That is a problem…and who to ask for help? First person to NOT tell/ask…Sanako.
I had looked for Abarai…strangely enough the 11th division is one of Chiyo's best friends [aside from me and Sanako]. Now, I know that he may not be the best for love advice…but he probably knows things that I don't about Chiyo.
I slipped by Zaraki-taicho and his fukutaicho Kusajishi to find the redhead. "Abarai!" Renji turned around and he stopped laughing [he was chatting with some of his fellow 11th division, apparently something was funny]. "Oh, hey Shiba-fukutaicho. Is there something I can help you with?" He separated away from the small gathering. I motion him to follow me and we head around the corner away from nosey people. "Two weeks ago, Chiyo asked me if I was done mourning Miyako and if I could love someone else." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I was a bit shocked she asked me that and I went and did something stupid." Renji seemed confused considering he was looking at me strangely. "I didn't talk to her for the last two weeks; thing is I don't know what to do now. I overheard Chiyo talking to Ukitake and she said that she's loved me since when we were in the Academy." I sat down…hearing it and saying it were two different things…and it was finally hitting me. "She loves me and she's afraid to tell me because of Miyako." I looked up at Renji, head still cupped in my hands. "Let me get this straight. You're telling me that Chiyo unknowingly told you that she's loved you since you met in school. And what about you?" "What do you mean?" "You know that Chiyo loves you, but the question is do you love her? Or is she just a rebound from Miyako?" I frowned, he better not be insinuating that I hold no true feeling for Chiyo. I stood up straight, towering over the seated redhead. "Don't ever say that. I've never thought of Chiyo as a rebound." I relaxed as I just let it out. "When I introduced Chiyo to Miyako I wondered if I was making a mistake. But after I stayed with Miyako for a while, I just couldn't think of a reason to leave her. Sometimes when I was alone I would think of Chiyo…wondering if I actually asked her or even noticed how much I liked her, what it would have been like. And Miyako had corrected me whenever I would call her something else…she told me that I've called her Chiyo at least five times in a week…but that only happened for the first few weeks we started dating. After Miyako died I realized that there were things in the relationship that I didn't realize weren't there." Renji nodded. "My parents taught me that a wife is not just a man's wife. She's his best friend, his confider, his lover, and his everything. She's the one thing that he wakes up to see in his mind and the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed. She's the one thing that he looks forward to seeing and talking to after a long day at work. And that she's the one thing that can keep him grounded." I cracked my knuckles and rubbed my neck. I was getting into the deep stuff, things that I haven't told anyone. "I know that Miyako didn't fit that. We hardly talked and she was not the first thing or last thing I thought about. She's not the person I looked forward to see after a long day. And she's not the one who kept me grounded." The whole time I didn't realize that Chiyo was standing a few feet behind me. "Chiyo is the one I thought of every morning and every night, she's the one I told all my problems to, she's the one I would talk to, she's the one I looked forward to seeing after work, she's the one I would hang out with and have a good time." "But it was Miyako who you went home to." Renji pointed out. "That may be true physically, but not mentally. About five months ago, I've been starting to realize that with Miyako everything was safe. We had a routine and we hardly ever changed it. But I also remembered that we hardly ever did anything together. It was like we were roommates."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Chiyo's POV *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
'My parents taught me that a wife is not just a man's wife. She's his best friend, his confider, his lover, and his everything. She's the one thing that he wakes up to see in his mind and the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed. She's the one thing that he looks forward to seeing and talking to after a long day at work. And that she's the one thing that can keep him grounded.' 'I know that Miyako didn't fit that. We hardly talked and she was not the first thing or last thing I thought about. She's not the person I looked forward to see after a long day. And she's not the one who kept me grounded.' 'Chiyo is the one I thought of every morning and every night, she's the one I told all my problems to, she's the one I would talk to, she's the one I looked forward to seeing after work, she's the one I would hang out with and have a good time.' Ten sentences bounced around in my head. He's talking about me…as if I should be his wife. And about Miyako as if she was something he knew he wouldn't get to deep with. "I know that I should have admitted it way before all this but I love Chiyo. And I know I must have hurt her by marrying Miyako…but I was lost and confused. I don't think I've ever understood how it felt to care for someone like I do for her. I mean it though. I love Chiyo Hanabi, and I want to make it up to her. You're her best friend…well, guy friend. Could you help me tell her?" I noticed that Renji had gone as red as his hair and glanced over at me.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Flashback *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
I had finished my little talk with Ukitake-taicho. He helped me realize that no matter what I've been put through I'd always love Kaien. And that I wanted to be there for him…even if he didn't noticed how much it hurt me. If he was happy then I would be happy…after I figure out a way that is. I began heading to see my buddy Renji. Knowing him I could work out something in my head as I sparred with him. Something I really needed to do, I've been blowing most of the people I care about off because of this funk and I really needed to change that.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Flashback Ends *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
"M-my a-adv-vice…just tell her." He pointed back at me. Oh, shit I wasn't supposed to stay put…I was supposed to run when I heard my name and Miyako's. Crap! Kaien turned and saw me. "Chiyo!" He looked shocked and embarrassed. His bright blue eyes stood out against the red of his cheeks. It was certainly a cute thing on him. I think he could almost rival Renji and his hair.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~* Kaien's POV *~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
"Uh…h-how long have you been there?" Chiyo shyly turned her eyes away from me. I didn't really like it when she did that. I love looking into her beautiful brown eyes. Her dark brown hair fell into place over them covering them even more. It gave me the urge to tuck it behind her ears and just want to hold her close. "Um…since 'a man's wife isn't just a wife' part. Did…your parents really teach you that?" I nodded. Partly in shock that she was still there and that she heard me say all that, and the other part in embarrassment. I mean she heard ALL THAT… "So did you really mean all of it?" I shook my head. "Of course I did. Ever since the Academy days. You're all I ever think about when I'm not busying myself with work. Miyako had corrected me when I called her you instead when we first started dating. And I know I've screwed up a few other times but she never said much after that. But my point is…I don't want something safe. Granted I still love Miyako…but not as I thought I did. She's more of a friend. But you, Chiyo I love you, god do I love you." I flashed beside her and wrapped her in my arms, pulling her tight to me; not wanting to ever let her go again. I just realized that all this time she was the one I was missing, she was the one I've been waiting for my entire life [death, whatever you want to call our time in Seireitei] and I wasn't about to let it go again. I almost lost her several times [most from hollow attacks] and I wouldn't let my stupid mistakes take her away from me. "You are like the air I breathe, my heart beats for you and you alone. You make my world shine like the sun and glisten like the moonlight. If I can't have you my light will cease, my breathe will leave me, and my heart will shrivel and die." Chiyo had buried her head into my hakama and I felt it getting wet as I spoke gently into her ear. "Chiyo, I know this may seem like the wrong time to ask this, especially on my part; But, will you marry me? It doesn't have to be anytime soon but someday?" I let a little distant separate us, I got down to my knees looking up into her tearful brown eyes. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" She was smiling through her tears. "Only if you promise to take me on three dates before we start planning anything." I stood up and pulled her into a hug. "You really will?" I brushed my hand over her cheeks, wiping away the tear marks. "Yes, I'll marry you. I love you Kaien Shiba." I smiled. "I love you too, Chiyo Hanabi."
The two lovers cried their tears of lost time. Laughed about what was to come. And spoke of what they were hoping for.