Title: Bittersweet
Author: Athlantis
Email: G
Category: Angst
Content: C/A
Summary: Cordelia must leave
Spoilers: AtS Season 5, Episode: "You're Welcome"
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Angel's Archive, Just Fic, FSB.
Thanks: Lysa thank you so much for the beta (I should have asked you if that how it's says...anyway) Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Feedback: I'm begging for it, again not literally but still!!!!

Cordelia knew she had to go, yet she couldn't make herself move. She was happy. Happier than she had been in what seemed like centuries. Timeless centuries had passed in her new realm.

Angel's face was glowing with a real smile. She missed it and longed for the way his eyes lit up moments before his lips moved. It made the loveliest expression she had ever seen.

Now happy after days of feeling helpless, alone, lost, he was seeing the sun shine in her eyes. He wasn't lying when he told her he was lost without her. What broke Cordelia's heart was that she knew it was true and yet she could do nothing to prevent it from happening again.

Still, she couldn't bring herself to leave him.

Cordelia was happy seeing her champion's smile once more. She got her chance, finally, to tell him how much she yearned for him, how much he meant to her. Yet, when the time came she found herself unable to do so, being mesmerized by his beautiful smile.

"Boy, I really fall for the dumb ones," she told him for not realizing sooner that he deserved help.

Cordelia thought she had never heard more sincere and grateful words than when Angel said, "And you helped me." That admission was precious to her.

She needed to leave.

She wanted to stay.

She needed to tell him everything. Doing so might kill his trust in life and the good she had done by being here. She couldn't take away that feeling of fulfillment. Not when she was taking away something dearest to him.

Angel needed to move on, to stop the guilt and tiredness. She knew that, but wasn't so sure she could ever let him out of her heart. He would always be in hers.

So she lied to him, because Cordelia did belong there with Angel. And when they kissed, she tried to pass herself onto him as much as she could.

Then the phone rang and she made herself ready to let go, to let him go. Cordelia was happy, happier that she had been in what seemed like centuries yet she felt like dying.

The End