The Hardest Goodbye
Written by WickedSong
Disclaimer : I do not own Glee. Those who follow me on tumblr and read my other story know my opinions on recent news well enough however and so I won't reiterate them here. Just that I wouldn't have firetrucked up as much as they did.
Sam was pretty sure that this was one of the hardest things he would have to do. He stood outside her door, knowing that he had to do this as quickly as possible so that they could beat the traffic, but finding that he wanted time to slow down and stop completely so that he wouldn't have to do anything.
He almost walked away, he almost turned from the door and assured himself that doing this over the phone would be easier. But for who? For him. Certainly not for her.
That would be a jerk move, Evans, he scolded himself. Mercedes deserved better. She deserved to be told face to face and not to hear it over the phone or worse, from someone else. He really liked her and he would be unable to forgive himself if he left Lima without telling her.
He hesitantly lifted his hand and then rapped the door with his knuckles. He looked down at his shoes, until he heard the door open.
"Sam, hey," Mercedes said, and he lifted his head to see her looking at him with confusion. "What are you doing here? It's like nine o'clock." She laughed a little, then opened the door wider. Sam considered whether he should go in or not. He walked in but just stood in the hallway.
"I'm only stopping by for a couple of minutes," he clarified and she nodded her head, closing the door and not ushering him into the living room.
He must've looked upset, he must've been showing his emotions on his sleeve because the next thing she asked was, "What is it? Are you okay? What happened?"
Sam went to open his mouth but that was before Mr. Jones appeared at the living room door.
"Oh, Sam. What's he doing here Mercedes?" the older man asked, his expression one of a protective father as he looked Sam up and down. Their friends didn't know about the relationship but their paretns did and were supportive of them. Of course, Mercedes' was the Jones' only daughter and Sam couldn't blame her father for giving him the once over every single time they met.
"Just give us five minutes, dad," Mercedes said. She nodded to her father and when he saw that she was serious, he nodded quickly to Sam, a nod the younger boy gave back, before closing the living room door shut on the couple in the hall.
Mercedes turned to him, obviously looking for answers to her previous questions and Sam took a deep breath.
Now he had to tell her. So, he started with when he had arrived back at the motel after work. It had all been fine, well, as fine as things could be in their situation. It wasn't terrible, they hadn't reached rock bottom yet. Rock bottom arrived when the motel's owner, a guy who dressed in pristine suits and looked fairly wealthy, knocked on the door later that night. His father had first went out to talk to him but then his mother had joined the conversation. By this point they were having a full blown screaming match with the man.
"You don't understand! We have three kids who need a roof over their heads!"
"Do I look like I care? You need to pay the rent or else you won't live here anymore."
"Just give us a little more time... we could find the money, we promise!"
Sam didn't hear the rest of the conversation, opting to turn the sound on the television so that Stacie and Stevie wouldn't need to hear it either. He could feel tears prickling the corners of his eyes but he managed to keep his tears inside. If he broke down then he wouldn't be able to keep a distressed Stacie and Stevie from panicking about the raised voices.
Sam kept looking to the door, for his parents to reappear, to say that they had persuaded the owner to give them more time to get money for the rent but when their disheartened faces appeared he knew the worst had happened. He slowly rose from the bed and walked over to his parents, who both gave him a silent nod and the fear in both their eyes only confirmed what he had just assumed.
After explaining to the kids they had to get out of the motel as gently as possible, the family packed up all their remaining belongings that they had kept in the motel room into the car they had left. They stood in the parking lot for what seemed like hours as his parents had hushed conversations.
"Where are we going, Sammy?" Stacie asked, looking up at him, with uncertainty in her eyes and her lips trembling. He swore she was about to cry but his siblings must've been much more resilient now due to this experience because she didn't.
"I don't know, Stace, but we'll find some place."
He looked back over at his parents, who were making some phone calls before his dad looked like he had won the jackpot as he hung up his phone.
"That was your grandfather. He says that we can stay with them, until we get back on our feet." He looked at all his children.
"That means we're going back to-"
"Yeah, Sam, it means back to Tennessee."
The words hung in the air but Sam knew that no matter what he had here in Lima, he couldn't dispute going to Tennessee. It was the only place they had to go now. They couldn't get another motel in Lima because they had no money, they couldn't get another motel anywhere. No matter where they went they had nothing, expect the possessions they deemed too valuable to sell when this all started.
"Wait," Mercedes cut in and Sam looked up at her, the vibrant clarity of remembering when they were kicked out only hours ago seeming so clear he had almost forgotten where he was. He looked up at her face, meeting her eyes and seeing the tears that were forming in them. He really didn't want to make her cry. He was the guy who was meant to kick other peoples' asses when they made her cry. He wanted to kick his own ass right now. "So you're leaving? When?"
"When I leave here."
Mercedes looked around desperately and she honestly didn't know what to say. What did you say when the guy who you were dating, the guy who was your first real relationship, who you could've sworn you were falling for swiftly and hard said he was leaving that very night?
"Thank you for telling me," she said after a moment of silence passed between them. "Who else have you told?"
"My phone isn't charged. I need to wait 'till we get to my grandparents'. I thought you deserved to hear it from me, not from someone else," he replied. "I'll text everyone when I can. They'll be pissed."
"They'll understand," assured Mercedes, as she stepped closer to him, taking his arm and giving it a light squeeze. She smiled quickly, that smile that he loved, that he could look at for hours and hours and smile as well. It was extremely forced though. He could tell she wasn't happy with that. It was something which made him upset - he was leaving this amazing, beautiful girl he had only just began to get to know and maybe even love but also happy, in a strange bittersweet way to see that she may feel the same.
But this couldn't last. It was too new, too fragile. If this had even happened maybe in a month's time he could see them trying a long distance thing but it wouldn't work. It was like Mercedes read his mind.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she assured him again and this time she was so close to him. He could smell her perfume, he could see the tears clearly now and he could feel his own. "You're amazing Sam and one day you'll make one girl very happy. She's not me though. She can't be me, can she?"
He wanted to scream that yes, she could, that they would make this work but he couldn't give that hope to her - or himself. He wanted this thing with her to work, he wanted it to work out so badly and he could only want to kick his own ass again but this time for not realising what they could have had for this year if he hadn't been so blind to what was in front of him.
He felt like, with his geekiest analogy, Harry when he had to leave Ginny. But there was no nineteen years later and there weren't three kids. There was only the now that was going to end in a matter of moments.
His father beeped the horn outside.
"I have to go."
"I know," she replied and her voice sounded strained, weak. He felt awful for being the guy causing her this pain. This was Mercedes Jones, who didn't take any nonsense from anybody, who didn't, as far as he could tell, cry easily and here she was. She hugged him. "Just don't forget me. Promise?"
"How could I forget you?" he said and smiled slightly. She smiled slightly back, gently and playfully slapping his shoulder. He leaned down and gently placed a kiss to her lips, tasting the tears that fell. He was sure his own tears were in there somewhere but it didn't matter.
They let go and Sam, as slowly as he could, opened the door, Mercedes not following, not wanting to see him off, not wanting to have to accept it with her own eyes when the car pulled away and he was out of her life.
She didn't want to but she did. She stood at her door, and watched as Sam got in the car, wiped his eyes, kept them trained forward to the road ahead. The long road ahead. She sighed shakily, realising how furiously the tears were running down her face. She wiped her eyes and waved slightly, as Sam waved to her, turning one last time to look at her before the car was out of sight.
Before Sam Evans was out of sight.
And for Sam, before her house, before she was out of sight.
Before they both couldn't see each other.
Okay, so I wasn't intending to cry over this but that didn't go very far, considering the fact I want to bawl like a baby. My siblings and dad are in the room right now and I cannot cry otherwise they will ask what is wrong.
Now, don't fret. If you haven't read 'You Are The Reason For The Words 'What If' then you might want to go do that. I'm not like RIB, I believe in thinking about or mentioning characters after they leave (coughMattcough). For those who have, you won't be fretting because you've read it obviously.
Quick disclaimer just for the Harry Potter reference. I had to do it. I just had to. Didn't want to mention it at the beginning because I wanted it to be one of those 'oh a Harry Potter reference moments'.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this,
WickedSong x