Sam was nervous as he looked at the door in front of him. He had thought about this moment so often. He imagined how it would be. It always ended perfectly. He was in love. Love, the most wonderful feeling in the world. Since Jessica was gone he hadn't felt it and now he was happy to feel it again. It hadn't been easy at first. He liked girls or that's what he had thought and now he was in love with a man. No, not only a man…his brother. At first he wanted to ignore it. However, the urge to be near him and the fantasies who haunted him at night became stronger. It had happened more than once that he woke up early in the morning, panting and sweaty, thinking about what he had dreamt about. The first dreams had been harmless, but after some weeks something changed. He had felt like a little teenage boy with a dirty secret. Dean often saw what these dreams did to him and made fun of him, unknown to the fact that he had just dreamed about having sex with his own brother.

Many things have changed in the last months. They were closer than before. They fought side by side and trusted each other. Sam always thought that there was something more going on. He had been hesitant about it. He didn't want to destroy their special relationship and he wanted to wait. However, now seemed to be the perfect moment. He made up his mind. He wanted to take the final step and show what he felt. Sam didn't want to hide it anymore. Dean deserved to know about his feelings.

He tried to calm himself down and opened the door. There he was – Dean. Sam smiled, his heart beating faster than before.

"I need to talk to you.", that was a good start. He walked to Deans bed, sat down. Now or never.

"What is it? You look nervous."

"I…Dean…", Sam shook his head. He knew what he wanted to say, but it wasn't easy to do so.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam looked at Dean. He needed to do something. He couldn't let this opportunity go. Maybe he didn't have to say something. Actions speak louder than words, right? He took a breath and leaned forward, giving his brother a chaste kiss. He could feel the butterflies, his heart almost exploding. However, this feeling didn't last long. Dean, who had been shocked at first, pushed him away.

"What the hell? Why did you do this?", Dean looked at him like he just slapped him.

"Dean…I'm sorry.", chocked Sam.

"Sorry? You just kissed your own brother. Care to explain?"

"I love you. I'm sorry. I can't change the way I feel. I thought that you would maybe feel the same."

"Feel the same? Are you serious? You can't be in love with your brother. That's sick."

Sam felt the tears, which threatened to spill over and the pain in his chest. It became unendurable.

"Dean, please…", he tried to touch him, but Dean flinched away and stood up.

Why did this happen to him. This couldn't be true. The look Dean gave him hurt more than everything.

"I don't know you anymore. Get out of here."

"You don't mean that."

"Shut up. I don't want to see you.", shouted Dean.

They heard fluttering and Sam didn't have to look behind himself to know that it was Castiel.

"Dean. Sam.", greeted the angel.

"Cas, we were just talking about something. It's important.", Sam didn't want Castiel to see this. He liked the angel, but he didn't want him to know what was going on.

"I'm sorry. I will go.", however, before Castiel had the chance to go, Dean stopped him.

"Don't go. There's nothing left to say."

"Dean, we should talk about it.", pleaded Sam.

"Castiel and I are together."

Sam looked shocked at Castiel and his brother. "What?", he whispered, couldn't believe what he just heard. Did Dean want to hurt him even more?

"I hope it's okay for you.", said Castiel, looking confused between the two men.

"I'm happy with him. You should understand this and leave, now.", Dean looked away, took Castiels Hand in his.

Sam couldn't take this anymore. This was too much. He lost everything.

"I'm so sorry…I…I'll go now.", he took his duffel bag and tried not to cry. He didn't want to break down in front of Dean. He left the room as fast as he could. Sam didn't know where he should go now. Bobby? Not a good idea. He didn't want to explain why Dean was so angry at him.

He didn't know where he was and for how long he was walking now. All he felt was the pain. Cold droplets of rain mingled with his tears. He was alone…