"PARROTS"
PART: one
By: Otaku Tess
THIS PIECE IS UNEDITED AND UNFINISHED AND SHALL FOREVER REMAIN SO. THE TOME BEFORE YOU IS MEARLY A FIC I WROTE TO GET MY EVER ELUSIVE THOUGHTS STRAIGHT. I WANTED TO POST IT BECAUSE I WILL BE DELETING THE FILES AND FELT IT A WAIST TO HAVE ALL THIS WRITING DONE AND NOT LET ANYONE SEE IT. SO THE ONLY COPY IS HERE. THE NEW IMPROVED VERSION OF "PARROTS" IS CURRENTLY BEING WORKED ON. PLEASE DO NOT COMPARE THE TWO. THERE IS NO COMPARISON.
THANK YOU.
ENJOY, IF YOU WANT.
"Hal?" Emma asked, as she lay sprawled across the sofa, head dangling over the edge so she could look me in the eye as I sat on the floor working on a little remote controlled robot I was doing for a science project. It was a reasonably simple task to "Kid-Sit" the 8 year old. She always stayed in the same room with me, and was content to sit quietly watching me work ... if that's what I was doing. Which I was at the time.
"Yeah?"
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?"
"Uhh... Well." I smiled, "Funny you should ask. I was just thinking about that."
"Really?" She asked in surprise.
"Yeah." I said, looking up from my work, "Well... I was thinking I'd be an astronomer, you know?"
"What's that?" She asked, blinking.
"Well. It's someone who ... uhm... Studies the sky. They study stars and suns and things that go on in outer space."
"Oooh!" She said, sitting up, only to flop back over as the blood rushed from her head. "I know what your talking about."
I smiled, turning back to my work. "... But." I added after a moment, as she watched me working, "I kind of want to--" I stopped, blushing, "Nah, it's silly."
"Nuh-uh." Emma said, "Com'on Hal." She begged, pulling off my glasses. "I won't let you see until you tell."
I chuckled, "I sort of want to build robots -- uh -- like this one!"
"What's silly about that?"
"Oh... It's just. I do this because ... eh," I blushed again, "You know those cartoons I watch?"
"Yeah!" She said, excited. (She really loved the fact that I was 17 and still watched cartoons ... not that it won me any popularity contests at school. Another thing added to the long list of reasons to put Hal in a garbage can or stuff him in a locker -- fortunately I would be going into my senior year this fall, as well as turning 18 in October, but-- er... I digress...)
"Well, I really love those Robots in them. The huge ones, you know? You can ride in them... Like a big suit." I smiled, "It would be great to be able to build something like that...-- I'd just like to be like one of the heroes from my Animes..." I sighed, "But heroes from Animes don't hide in lockers to avoid getting their glasses broken by class mates..."
"It's okay, Hal. I'm still your friend!" She then latched onto me and refused to let go.
"You always say that," I smiled, "You little parrot."
"I am not a parrot!" She argued good naturally, as she proceeded to "attack" me. I laughed all the way to defeat.
~~~
Emma. The best thing to come out of my father's decision to start dating again. He hardly had time enough for me as it was...and now he wanted to start dating again? ... Oh well... I can't say I blame him. We all want someone to love...
Ahh... My father. My father was, well... a rocket scientist. I remember him being the butt of many one liners in his life, not that he minded. I mean "You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that his friends were only joking with him." -- But knowing this, I imagine you have a better understanding of why he didn't have a lot of time for me. This is a man who is responsible for people's lives on a daily basis. Not that rocket ships were necessary in daily life, er... normally he worked for Bowing. He designed airplanes, but his heart was in outer space, so to speak. He has a job with NASA as well, and if they needed him they called him, so you can see, that with two high-stress jobs my father was not only prematurely gray, but he hardly had time for his own wedding! This is a man who does calculus for fun.
Then, you ask... How did he even have time to FIND a girl friend? Well, uhm, he and Melanie (his girlfriend) worked together, actually. She was nothing less than his secretary at Bowing. Naturally they didn't see each other a lot outside of work, but for my father that was enough. --He'd met my mother the same way, at work, she was also an engineer. She designed bolts, actually (Hey, it's harder than it sounds). ---I don't remember my mother very well. I was about 3 when she died and my father doesn't like to talk about it. Sometimes I worry he might have been closer to me if I looked more like her ... but that's just me being paranoid.
Emma's mother was a gorgeous woman. Whenever my father and her DID go out she would bring over her daughter, Emma... Melanie had Emma when she was 19 years old, Emma's father had left them. Melanie had been living with her mother for several years when she got a job at Bowing as my dad's secretary. She was 27 when she got the job there, (my father 42) but they started "dating" almost immediately.
Dating consisted of going out to the movies maybe once or twice a month (Sometimes with a few other friends) while I baby-sat Emma... -- and going to their work's Christmas party together. Things like that. It wasn't terribly serious, but at least I got to see Emma whenever they went out. Sometimes I felt like she was really the one person I could talk to ... Though, I often referred to her as "Parrot" because she so often would repeat what I said or play the "Copy Game" with me. It was actually very cute, and I enjoyed having a special name for her.
I "kid sat" Emma for 1 whole year while our parents went out. I'd see Emma maybe twice a month, and I would look forward to it with all my heart... -- But it was still a huge surprise to both of us when my father and her mother announced their engagement. Of course, Emma and I were ecstatic. Emma would be my new little sister! Emma would be 9 when they got married, but she was happy because she would get to be the flower girl and I was happy because I would get to be her big brother. I always wanted a sibling, even if she was 10 years younger than me... And Emma and I already got along so well. And now we'd really get to know each other...
Yep. The wedding was set up for the summer before my 19th birthday. I would start my new life at college along with a new family. It was really something to think about. It was such a huge thing for me. I could start completely over. I wouldn't be teased at college and I was sure I could make some friends, and I would have family at home to talk to. Finally. I wouldn't be alone.
~~~
"Hal?" Emma asked as I thumbed through my DVDs, looking for something to keep us busy, "Where did Mom and dad go again?" She had already started calling my father "Dad."
"They're on their honeymoon -- What did you want to watch?"
"What do they do on their honeymoon?"
I blushed furiously.
Emma burst into laughter, "They're kissin' and stuff!" She squealed.
"Err... Yeah." I nodded, blushing so badly I almost got a nose bleed, "Did you want to watch the Big-O, or what?"
"Uhm..."
"E.E.?"
~~~
After the wedding I stopped calling Emma "Parrot." Maybe it was because she'd stopped playing the "copy game" with me... Or maybe -- Maybe it was because we were related now ... and I felt that that kind of pet name wasn't really something you should call your little sister... --But whatever it was, I stopped calling her "Parrot" and I started calling her "E.E." It seems a little more bulky than just "Emma", I know... Harder to say at times, perhaps... But I always thought it was a good nick name. It was cute. It fit her. Emma Emmerich. My sister. --Maybe a way of incorporating her first and last name into one nickname ... so everyone would know we were family. So she would know. Something to remind each other that we were family now... Of course, she never gave me a nick name. I was always "Hal." Just Hal. Which was fine with me. I mean what would she call me? "Brother-who-still-watches-cartoons"? I don't think that would quite work.
~~~
"Oh, sure. That one." She said, pulling me into the living room, I put the DVD in, "When will they be back?"
"In five days." I answered.
"Hal?" She asked, giving me a hug, "When this is over will you play a game with me?"
"Sure." I said, hugging her back, "What did ya wanna do?"
"Play house with me, Hal. Like we did when you would kid-sit me. And. Let's go swimming tomorrow, 'kay?"
"All right." I chuckled. She loved having her own pool. She hadn't had one at her grandmother's house where she and her mother had lived before, and this was a whole world of possibilities for her.
"Yey! ...--Hey, Hal?"
"Hm?" I asked, absently, as the show started.
"Did you ever decide what you wanted to do when you grow up? ... Because, I was thinking I wanted to be an astrologer too."
"Huhn?" I asked. She often asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and my answers were always science related ... but she hadn't asked me in a while.
"I have been studying astrology at school. The librarian at school gave me a book on it, and I've been looking it up on the Internet."
"Astrology?"
"Duh -- you know. Like, you're a Pisces and I'm a Cancer, and when Venus is in Cancer it means--"
I laughed out loud.
"What's so funny?"
"That's astrology. I said 'Astronomy.' But if that interests you..."
"It is kind of interesting." She said, folding her arms.
"But, I really think what I want to do is build robots." I said after a moment, "Like that one." I sighed, pointing to the big mechanical robot suit the Big-O was riding in.
"Ooh." She said, "Hal?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing."
"..."
~~~
"All right." Emma said, pushing me off the sofa, "You be the Husband and I'll be the wife, okay? And we'll be a real family."
"Just like now." I said.
"Uhm. Yeah." She said, without really thinking about it, "Where did we leave off from last time we played? It was a long time ago since you kid sat me last, huhn?"
"Almost 3 months." I paused. Sure, we'd seen each other during the wedding and all ... but things were so hectic after our parents decided to get married we hadn't really had time to spend time together.
"I remember! You were coming home from work."
"That's right." I said.
"Okay. Go!" She said, as she pantomimed cooking on the coffee table.
"I'm home." I called, walking through an imaginary door. Yep. Reason number 234 to put Hal in the dumpster. I sighed, then shook my head smiling.
"How was your day?"
"Oh, great." I smiled, "I -- uhh --" ... "What was my job again?"
"You're a secret agent, remember? Like from that cartoon we watched."
"That's right! --Well. Uhm. I fought a Ninja today... And I stopped a nuclear blast from destroying Manhattan." I laughed, inspite of myself, "Yep. Good day."
"Oh! That's good, honey."
"What's for dinner?" I asked, looking at her "food."
"Stew." She answered simply.
I chuckled, "What kind of stew?"
"Beef."
"Oh." I answered.
"..."
"E.E.?" I asked. We used each others real names in this game.
"Hal, you'll always come home, won't you? You'll never leave me, right?"
"Well, I have a pretty dangerous job." I joked.
"That's not funny, Hal."
"Sorry-- I ... Of course not." There was something funny. She wasn't playing like usual. "Are you still playing?"
"I love you, Hal." She blurted, glomping me with a big hug.
"I-- love you too, E.E..." I said timidly, returning the hug.
~~~
We would play house a lot in the future, it would take many different forms -- and my occupation would change constantly. Heh, we even played "Oceanic House" in the pool. E.E. came up with a whole back story as to why a family would live in the "ocean" and everything.
So, as you can imagine, we swam a lot too -- in our pool in the back yard. Emma loved to swim. She and my father would be in the pool the first day of summer. I had to be coaxed into the water, but E.E. always managed to talk me into it -- Or push me into it -- but we had fun in the end. Me, my father, and Emma did a lot together, a lot of my father's free time was spent with Emma and me... Sometimes I wondered if he only married Melanie for Emma --
Though that wasn't really true, I knew he loved Melanie. -- er -- He was a surprisingly weak man, actually ... if you really knew him you would realize that. He needed someone to love, and someone who would love him back the same unconditional way he loved them. If it hadn't of been for me, my father might have just ended it right then and there when my mother died -- fortunately he had to take care of me, and that gave him the strength to go on. He told me that once, when I asked about my mother. He never talked about her freely.
I don't remember my mother very well ... and I don't look like her at all. I take after my father. Emma and I both do. We really don't look anything alike, people are always so surprised when I introduce her as my sister. I just don't know how else to think of her. She was my sister before our parents were even married ... -- that's how I always felt.
Unfortunately... Uh... I was not destined to finish out my university years in the familial setting I had imagined. For a little while -- up until the summer before my Junior year -- things went as well as could be expected. On the weekends Emma and I would be able to goof off, watch cartoons ... we still played house a lot. I actually looked forward to it, I mean... It was a different kind of brake from reality than my Mech. Animes once were -- now that I was really learning how to build them ... it was a little bit different watching them. But E.E. and I were best friends... She was my family. My dad and Melanie didn't spend a lot of time with us, but Emma and I were together whenever it was possible.
At school I did have friends, though -- for the first time in my life... -- Some other Anime fans at my university. We found each other immediately, and it was nice to have a study buddy, and someone my own age to talk to, but I could never have the kind of relationship with them that I had with Emma. -- Not that my school friends weren't nice. I mean, they worshiped me for introducing them to Otacon during our freshman year. After that I'd earned the nickname "Otacon" among my friends, even a few of my professors called me that!
Err ... as for home life... Melanie had gotten a new job, deciding to stop "mixing business and pleasure..." Unfortunately, this meant my father and her hardly saw each other during the week. This caused many a fight between my father and Melanie. --Emma would sleep in my room on nights when our parents fought. It scared her, I know...
~~~
I was sitting in my room reading when my father came home from work late, again. I sighed.
"Where have you been?" Melanie asked. I listened through my walls, putting a hiatus on my reading momentarily.
"Work." My father answered haughtily.
"Why don't you come home anymore? I never get to see you! It's ridiculous."
"You could have kept your job." My father answered.
"That was getting ridiculous. Dammit, Henry, I need a happy medium. I can't see you ALL the time ... but I can't see you NEVER!"
"Mel. I am very very tired. Can we talk in the morning."
"No-ooo? You leave at 6:00 every morning!"
I tuned out. Things could only get worse from there.
Knock knock.
"E.E.?"
"Can I come in?" Emma squeaked.
"Yeah." I said, as she peeked in, entered, and quietly shut the door.
"Hal ... they won't get a divorce will they?" She asked. She asked everytime they got in a fight.
"No." I answered, "They love each other. They're just having some problems right now. They can solve them."
"I hope so." Emma answered, climbing onto my bed to give me a hug.
"Is there another woman, Henry??" Melanie screeched, loud and clear.
"For the love of God, Melanie!"
This was going to be a long night.
~~~
After a while Melanie and my dad stopped fighting. Unfortunately, They didn't talk to each other either ... not really. It upset my dad a lot, I could tell. He was having trouble at work and he was incredibly stressed out. Melanie on the other hand. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She seemed zoned out a lot of the time. Thinking about something that I couldn't place or figure out. Melanie and I weren't really close or anything. I mean, even after I got to know her alittle better when she quit her job as my dad's secretary... I still didn't feel terribly close to her.
Naturally, I never really thought of her as my mother. She was too young to be my mother. I was only 9 years younger than her. I was further apart from Emma!
I wish I could get my thoughts straight.... But then again. None of them were at the time...
~~~~~
"Hal!" Emma said, pouncing on me from the sofa, "Guess what tomorrow is!"
"Hmm... July 20th." I answered.
"Yeah... aaaand--"
"Could it be? Your birthday?"
"Yep! What didja get me?"
"You have to wait and find out."
"You suck." She giggled then paused, "--Uhm... Do you think dad will be home for my party?" We had planned a party, just the family. Emma didn't have a lot of close friends at school.
"I hope so. He promised he would be."
"I'm gonna be 12, Hal." She grinned, releasing me to stand on the floor in front of me.
"That's a good age." I smiled.
"I'm practically a teenager, Hal. Pretty soon..." She paused, to check my reaction, "I'm gonna be a woman."
I chuckled, "Awww... E.E., you'll always be my little sister to me." I leaned over to give her a hug.
"You're too honest." She complained, pulling away.
I chuckled. "Sorry."
"It's okay... But just you wait. Wait 'til I'm 13. Then you'll see."
"Heh. All right." I smiled.
~~~~
I wouldn't get that chance to see her next birthday. Eh... You hope and pray your whole young life for a happy family -- for a happy child hood -- and ... when something finally happens that has the potential to turn your whole life around and change it for the better it lands back in your face. Like that saying "Enjoy when you can and endure when you must." I tried to enjoy my time with a new family ... but I ended up just having to try to endure the whole ordeal. I enjoyed my time with Emma while I had to endure the rest of my family falling apart. ... Or ... something like that. -- I thought things couldn't get worse than they already were ... with the fighting and the silence. I was wrong.
~~~~~
"Hal?" Melanie called me. It was Saturday, my dad was at work and Emma was at a slumber party -- her first ever. I was ecstatic for her.
This was strange. I got up from the sofa where I was doing a make up book report for English class (my one bad subject). "Yeah?"
"Hal... Would you ... help me with this?" She called from her bedroom.
"What ... is ... it ...?" I trailed off as I entered the room. Melanie was wearing a very revealing dress. She stood in the middle of the room with her back to me.
"Zip me up, would you?"
"Uhh..." I responded dumbly, blushing furiously. After a moment I came too and went over to do as she asked, "Where are you going?"
"I thought you and I would go somewhere tonight. What with Emma out and your father working late. -- I was going to come out and surprise you, but darn it... I couldn't get this zipper."
"Err ... right." I said, stepping back. "Well, I kind of have some work to do ... not that it wouldn't be kinda nice... I mean, we hardly ever talk, right?" I asked nervously.
"Riight." She purred. "And I never get to see your father anymore. --Did I ever tell you how much you look like him?"
"Uhh, yeaah." I said, surveying the scene for an exit.
"Except ... you know what?"
"Neh?"
"You're really cuter than him... I think."
I darn near fell down. What? What?? I'm cute? You think I'm cute?
"So, ya wanna go out or what?"
"Doah, yeah, yeah sure!" I stuttered, "Where do you want to go?"
"Dinner maybe? Don't worry, College boy. I'll pay." She smiled, leading me out the door.
~~~
It was a nice evening. --We talked all night. As adults. That night I realized I'd never gotten that opportunity before. The only adults I really knew were my professors. Not that my friends from college weren't intelligent enough to have adult conversations with me ... we just never really did. Not like the one I had with Melanie that night. I finally felt like an adult. It was an amazing feeling really....
~~~
After we returned home after dinner the house was still empty. Dad not home. Emma hadn't called. All was quiet.
"Hal?" Melanie asked as we stopped in front of my bedroom door.
"Y-yeah?" I stuttered inspite of myself.
"Don't tell your father about this, hm?" Melanie asked in low tones.
"Err... Why not...?"
"Because of this --" She turned and kissed me, right on the lips.
"Hmmph--" I began, but I ended kissing her back, she pushed me back and I leaned against my bedroom door, then I broke the kiss with a gasp.
"Melanie?? What are you doing?! What about my dad?"
"He won't know." She purred.
"Yeah he will! I'm telling him!" I snapped, wide eyed.
"No, no..." She pleaded, "Why start something? He's never here anyway, Hal. He'll never know--"
"I'll know--" I interrupted, but she continued on.
"Hal, you're Henry with only his good qualities! He doesn't even care about me any more -- He's never here for us, Hal. But... I'll be here for you. Didn't you ever feel that there was something between us? Didn't you?"
I paused, trying to think.
"Isn't it romantic, Hal?" She cooed, "Brought together this way. I know how you feel, Hal. You feel lonely. I feel lonely too. But together we don't have to be lonely." She ended her speech with another kiss. This time I didn't resist at all.
~~~
If anyone could win a prize for Naivety I'd win it every year consecutively for my whole young life. She was using me. I was just too lonely to realize it. I was too lonely to even realize how unhappy I was. Being with Melanie, though. I believed with all my heart that we were in love ... even though the talking part of the relationship stopped after that time we went out to dinner. I won't go into gory details. --That would be the last thing I'd do. It just -- it went on. It went on for too long. My father was further away from me than ever. I was frequantly paranoid that he knew. When he'd see me he'd stair at me with a haggard expression on his face until one of us had to leave. --And poor Emma... I felt so guilty around her I couldn't stand it. And what was worse was she noticed...
~~~
"Hal?" Emma squeaked as I sat zoned out on the couch watching an anime.
"Huhn?" I asked, absently.
"Hal ... why don't you play with me as much anymore?"
I snapped out of my stupor, "I -- uhh ... you never asked, E.E." I stuttered attempting to come up with something. -- That was lame.
"Hal..." She said softly, climbing onto the sofa, she reached up to touch my face, I noticed that I hadn't shaved in a while, "What's wrong?"
"Uhh...?"
"I can't see your eyes anymore, Hal." She said, pulling my glasses off, holding them in her delicate little hands.
"What do you mean, E.E.?"
"Your eyes. Something is wrong, Hal." She said, concern evident in her voice, "When you're happy it shows in your eyes--" She began, then paused looking for the right words. "I don't know how to explain it."
I looked away. I couldn't make eye contact with her. Was that what she meant? "It's okay, E.E.. You don't have to. I know what you mean." I didn't know. I couldn't listen anymore. It made my heart hurt.
~~~
After that I attempted to get Melanie to stop. I'd tell her we couldn't keep doing that. We had to stop this relationship before things got bad. Before Henry found out -- before Emma did.
But she'd just talk me out of it. Talk to me, touch me. Whatever worked. Every time I tried to stop "seeing her" things just got worse. Dad kept glaring at me. Emma kept trying to cheer me up. I didn't know what to do. It was tearing me apart. The love I was sure I felt for Melanie and the stronger love I felt for my sister -- and the fact that deep down I knew what I was doing was wrong -- I was torn in every direction, but I couldn't do anything about it.
And ... things were destined to get worse.
~~~
In an attempt to calm my nerves and keep myself busy I decided to continue with my old hobby of putting together little robots. Melanie was at work and Emma was still at school. I'd come home early that day and was very surprised when my father walked in.
"Dad!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing home?"
He ignored my question. "You know that job I got, working on that Jet -- the one for the Air Force?"
I nodded slowly. He did not look good. He hadn't shaved in a while and he looked as if he hadn't slept for a while either.
"Well. That's going fine."
I cocked an eyebrow nervously. He was trying to make small talk. "O-oh. Th-that's nice." I attempted to turn back to my robot.
"They say if this country goes to war -- that jet will be what wins it for us." He said. He sounded monotone. He didn't care about the damn jet. "Yep."
"Oh."
"I told you what's going on with me." I knew where he was going.
I jerked so badly I broke my robot into pieces. "Yeea-aah?" I asked nervously.
"Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Hal?" He used my name. Why did he have to use my name?
"N-no... nothing at all, dad. Same old, same old."
"Oh. All right." He said solemnly, "I'll ... leave you alone now."
I should never have let him leave that room.
~~~
I was in my room when it happened. It was the end of August. The "relationship" between Melanie and I had been going on for a little over 3 months. I knew things had to come to a head. I just didn't think it would be this bad.
~~~
"Hal..." Melanie said, entering my room, she was only wearing a house coat.
"Melanie!" I stood up. She advanced. "Melanie, no. Look. Dad's home -- and so is Emma --"
"They WON'T know, Hal. Look out your window. They're swimming. They'll be there forever. Hal... Com'on, Hal."
I protested. And when that didn't work I vowed this would be the last time. I was more right then I knew.
"Hal..."
~~~
"Hal! Hal!!" Emma's frightened scream fazed in and out of my head. I couldn't tell if it was real or my guilt screaming at me from the back of my mind. I just listened to it from my room. Listened to it in a daze. Listened -- until it stopped. The screaming. The sound of the water splashing in the pool. Silence. Melanie lay beside me, asleep. I hadn't noticed.
How long had I been just laying there?
... I paused trying to remember what I had been listening to.
"E.E.!" I shouted. I leapt to my feet, throwing on my house coat I ran outside. Melanie didn't move.
I rushed out to the pool. Drowned! Oh, God no. No no no...
I dove into the pool. "No!" repeating over and over in my head, wrapping itself around my brain.
Emma floated there on the top of the pool, clinging to my father. He was motionless. I dragged Emma out of the pool first. I checked her pulse. She was alive. Oh God. She was alive!
I tried to do what I knew of CPR. Emma coughed and sputtered out water, she blinked weakly, "Hal...?" She said, reaching up to touch my face.
"E.E." I froze in that moment as she ran her small fingers across my face, pulling at my glasses. There was a pause, then they clattered to the ground as she lost conciseness. I checked her pulse one more time to make sure she was still alive. I paused.
"Dad!" My heart screamed. I grabbed my glasses and dove back into the pool, my sapping wet house coat weighing me down.
I dragged him over to the pools edge, checking his pulse. Nothing. I turned him over listening for a heart beat. Nothing. Water poured out of his mouth when I moved him. God above. No no no no no!
I rushed into the house grabbed the phone and ran back out as I dialed 911, leaving a damp path where ever I had been.
I pulled my real clothes on before the ambulance arrived and Melanie finally woke up. They were rushing a pale Emma to the ambulance when Melanie wandered out. Two had stayed behind to get my dad out of there as well ... but -- it was too late for him.
"What happened?" Melanie asked in shock.
"Emma almost drowned in the pool trying to save dad and -- Dad..." I stopped, my face choked with emotion.
"What happened -- Henry?" Melanie breathed rushing out to the back yard. We heard a shriek as the paramedics took dad away on a stretcher.
"How did you find them?" Asked the Paramedic who had met me at the door.
"I heard Emma screaming -- and I rushed out. When I got there she'd stopped yelling."
"Why couldn't you get to her sooner? Where were you?"
"I was --" I was about to tell that paramedic everything that had happened in the last three months, but Melanie rushed up behind me.
"We were out." She said hastily. "We came home just in time to save Emma ... but -- Henry." She whimpered again, with true emotion.
"I don't think you could have saved Henry, Ma'am." The paramedic said sadly.
"No..." Melanie squeaked.
Yes... I thought. He knew, Melanie. He knew about us ... He'd known all along ... Now we had to pay for it.
He paused, "I'm very sorry, ma'am."
Melanie sniffled following the paramedic out, "Can I go with you? To watch Emma..." She sniffed.
"Certainly. " He answered. "Are you coming?" He looked back at me.
"N-no." I said, "I need to sit down."
"Understandable." He answered, turning to leave, "Are you sure you'll be all right?"
I nodded slowly, turning back into the house.
I had to get out of here.
I couldn't stay. If Emma ever found out what had really happened. If I ever had to be the one to tell her -- I knew I wouldn't be able to look her in the eye when she came home. And Melanie. God. If I never see her again -- Don't be bitter. It's not her fault.
Don't be bitter.
I did stop by the hospital to see Emma after I'd packed my things. The nurse told me Emma was asleep. Melanie was no where near -- I didn't ask where she was.
"Can I at least say good-bye?" I choaked out in an attempt to hold back my tears.
"Good-bye?" The nurse asked, puzzled, "She'll be okay --"
"No." I unterupted, "I'm leaving. I need to say good bye."
"Oh..." She answered distastfully, but let me in to see her.
I walked in. Emma was asleep. Slowly I crept over to her bedside, then knelt down beside her. She looked so sweet sleeping there, I almost forgot what had happened to put her there.
"E.E...." I wispered, she stirred.
"Hal...? Mom said dad drowned..." She wispered. I nodded weakly. She whimpered. "Now what is gonna happen to us?"
I winced, "I'm going to go stay at school now." I looked away, "Your mom will take care of you though."
"No, Hal ... we need you now. Mom -- she can't --" What? Hold a job? I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut.
"I have to go." I said.
"Will I see you again?" She asked.
I stopped. I hadn't thought about that. "I -- I ... I have to go now, E.E.." I got up, turned my back, and walked out.
The nurse stopped me as I shut the door. "I thought you might like to know --"
"Tell her mother." I answered rudely. I must really have looked like a jerk -- I just couldn't listen to it.