AN: The 3rd, 4th, and 5th italicized lines I came up with while listening to Hanatan's Drown. I didn't know how to work them into a story and they just sat in a document until I realized they described Green, who's constantly ignored in favor of Red. And then this was born.
Anyone who can figure out what book inspired the title is a complete and utter genius and has bragging rights to that effect. (Hint: It's not called Hear My Voice)
Green knows from an early age that he wants to become someone great. He wants his name to be known in every land and to be recognized wherever he goes. He shares this dream of his with only one person: Red.
They grow up in houses next door to each other, so it was only natural that the two become best friends. By the time they can talk, Green already knows his crimson-eyed neighbor better than his own family. He and Red run around from dawn till dusk, playing dragons and knights and explorers. Each day is a new adventure. They're happy like this.
Then they turn five and have to go to school. And slowly, things start to change. Red is quiet and shy in class, but Green is his usually cocky, brash self. He quickly attracts a following of admiring kindergarteners. They still play together outside of school, but Green's new friends always want to join in, and Red clams up if they're around.
Red has withdrawn into his shell almost completely by the time he's six. Green tries to be a good friend and encourages him to speak up, but Red doesn't listen. They begin to drift apart and soon, they'd stopped hanging out entirely. But they make themselves known in Pallet Town with or without words.
Growing up, Green is lauded for everything he does. His grades in school are perfect every year, and he can do anything his classmates can in half the time. He can master a game in an hour and then win ten rounds straight. People say, "That's Professor Oak's grandson for you!" and he basks in the warmth of their praise. His grandfather himself gives him a pat on the head before returning to his research.
But as he gets older, this changes. Right after their compliments comes the phase when everyone around him notices the latest thing Red has done, and they run off to congratulate him instead. Somehow, without even trying, Red always manages to top everything he did. His grades are beyond perfect, 101%. He can do anything in half the time it takes Green. He can master a game in half an hour and then win every round he plays. It's a pattern. It's destined to repeat itself.
Are you actually looking at me?
This applies to everything they do. Even in Pokémon, his grandfather's area of study, Red manages to surpass Green. And then a bridge is built in their circular pattern so that people can skip Green and go directly to Red. All Green can do is look at the empty space where people used to be, even though he knows they would've eventually left him to go to Red anyways. It's still lonely in his corner of the world.
He begins to hate his childhood friend.
Now Red is champion because he was yet again able to trump Green's achievements. His grandfather doesn't even congratulate him when he comes; he skips straight to The Reason Why You Suck speech. Then he starts lavishing praise on Red, who just looks uncomfortable.
People in his life always seem to be skipping things. Particularly the parts where they're supposed to be proud of him.
Why are you ignoring me?
A month passes. He hears that Red ran off soon after his victory at the Indigo Plateau. No one knows where, his mother is frantic with worry, and people are starting to whisper, "Maybe we weren't right about him after all. We thought he was more mature than this." And since the League needs a champion, they're turning to the one Red beat to claim his title.
In other words, him. Boy of the five minute championship.
People begin to pay attention to him again. They talk about what a prodigy he is (but Red is a few months younger), how good his strategies are (but Red's are always better), and how strong his Pokémon are (but Red's have always been stronger). And for a moment, he enjoys the glory he deserves.
But he knows that even if he's champion again, he will always be known as the one who was defeated by Red, who wasn't as good as Red. He'll always be second-best as long as Red's memory is around. The League thinks they're doing him a favor, an honor. But he's the beggar receiving charity from the king, and he's too proud to accept a handout.
Once he refuses the offer, people lose interest in him again, and he becomes a mere shadow. People laugh if he challenges them to a battle and are disgusted with themselves when they lose (It's inevitable. The only one who's ever been able to defeat him is Red). And he's angry, because he's still a strong trainer in his own right, but the world only sees him as the boy who lost to Red. That one moment defines his life.
He's invisible now. One of the shames of society.
If I screamed right now, would you hear me?
So here he is, on the top of Mt. Silver. He isn't here to try to reclaim what he's lost, but he hates Red, hates him beyond belief for turning him into this, and he wants to destroy him. It's childish, he knows, but isn't he a child, after all?
It's the middle of winter and winters on Mt. Silver are brutal. Snow fills the air around him and it's twenty degrees below freezing. He can barely see. It's enough to make him wonder how Red has survived so long.
Red steps out of his cave and Green receives a jolt when he notices his rival hasn't changed at all. He's as skinny as ever, hasn't grown an inch, and wears the exact same clothing as before.
"Red," he says, and there's more than anger in his voice. There's also an element of finality. He steps towards his former friend.
Red's Pokémon surround him protectively, hissing and growling as he nears. They obviously care for him a lot. But there's something about the scene that feels incredibly painful to him, like a bullet to the heart. His anger dissipates and suddenly, he feels very alone.
They don't care about their trainer's flaws. They know Red inside and out and are still devoted to him anyways, him and only him.
With a jolt, he realizes that up until now, all of his behavior has actually been a cry for attention, a cry for help, because no one ever sees him, they just see the grandson of Professor Oak and create their own image of who that should be. He can't live up to that image. He never was able to live up to that image. But Red can. That's why everyone is always looking at Red, and not him.
Am I screaming loud enough?
He closes his eyes and tilts his head up, letting the icy snowflakes sting his face. When he opens his eyes and sees nothing but swirling whiteness, somehow it seems almost comforting.
How do you cope with knowing that your whole life has been a lie?
He doesn't want to live his life according to the public's expectations and his own failure to meet them. But he's too deeply tangled into the web of the spider, and he's not strong enough to escape.
He just wants it all to end.
And after a decade, a lifetime, of virtually no free will, it takes him a few minutes to recognize that he can end it. And this time, on his own terms.
If I died right now, would you even shed a tear?
It doesn't take him long to make his decision.
He spins around abruptly, turning away from Red, and takes a step forward into the blizzard. Then another. He can feel Red's inquisitive eyes burning a hole on his back, but he ignores him. The edge is somewhere in front of him, he knows, but he's not certain exactly how far he needs to go in order to reach it.
Oh, wait. He still has his Pokémon. He can't bring them with him, not where he's going. He slips his hand into his pocket and discreetly fishes out his PokéBalls, dropping them in the snow where he knows Red will notice later on. He takes a deep breath. Without the extra weight in his pocket, he feels oddly light.
Maybe this is his way of breaking free.
He starts walking forward again.
When his foot meets nothing but air, he spins around and gives Red a smile as he falls. It's not his usual taunting smirk, but something that says, "I'm sorry" and "You were right". There's horror on his rival's face as it dawns on him exactly what Green is doing.
Dying is surprisingly easy. But then again, he's always taking the easy way out.
He hears Red's desperate, plaintive scream echo down the mountain and his smile turns bitter.
I guess now you can hear me, right?
There's a flash of light and then he sees a dark shape hurtling towards him, trying to save him, but he already knows it won't work. Charizard is flying on the strength of his wings. That will never match the gravity that controls his free fall.
He wonders what they'll put on his gravestone. Or maybe they won't even make him a grave, since who will be aware of his absence? His grandfather will assume he's training or something of the like. No one else cares.
If I disappeared, would you even notice?