Hello, everyone!
This is my first Fanfiction and I hope you'll like it.
English is not my mother language, so there might be some mistakes.
If so, please PM me so I can correct them. Thanks.
A huge thanks to Ems16, who helped me review my story.
I'll leave you to the story.
R&R :)
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own neither Grey's Anatomy nor the characters. They are properties of ABC.
WE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL
- How the hell did you get me in this position twice? Unbelievable! You are unbelievable! - shouted Lexie, grabbing her purse and jacket and making her way out the door. Mark watched her for the entire time, feeling as guilty as he's never felt in his life.
He watched her closing the door behind her and leave his life for the second time.
NO!
A loud and pounding voice inside his head made him jump from the chair he was sitting on and ran after Lexie.
- LEXIE! - he yelled slamming the door open. - LEXIE, STOP! -
She turned around, tears on her cheeks.
- What do you want, Mark? What do you want from me? Stay away from me! - she screamed as he quickly took a few steps in her direction.
- Lexie, please. Listen to me, I'm not asking you to... -
- … to what? Stay with you and watch you builfing a family with your lesbian best friend? I, Mark, I want to be your family, but you don't let me. Do you understand? -
Lexie threw her arms up in the air, frustrated.
- Lex... -
- Oh, don't "Lex" me. Shut up... Just shut up and leave me alone. - She turned her back to him, and kept walking towards the elevator.
Mark clenched his fist, trying to control his anger. he wasn't angry at Lexie, how could he, he was angry at himself for screwing up the only relationship he'd ever had in his life.
- Lexie, please, please, listen to me. I'm sorry, I'm... -
- YOU'RE SORRY? - she shouted back, furiously turning around for the second time in a few minutes. - YOU'RE SORRY? -
Tears kept rolling on her cheeks, her eyes were puffy and red. Mark finally lost it and stared to shout back at her.
- Yes, Lexie. I'm sorry, because I ruined the only stable relationship I've ever had. Not once, but twice. TWICE, ok? -
He took a deep breath and kept talking.
- I love YOU. Do you understand me? I. LOVE. YOU. I WANT YOU. -
They were in the middle of the hallway, staring in each other eyes for what felt like an eternity.
- But I want to be in my baby's life. - whispered Mark, taking a few step closer to Lexie. - Not just as the cool uncle. I'm the father. -
Lexie shuttered at those words, closing her eyes.
- Lexie, I want you. Can we please talk about this. I don't want you to leave me heartbroken like last time. I want us to talk, before making any decision. -
- There is no decision to make, Mark. You're having a baby with Callie... -
- … and Arizona. Do you think she was happy that Callie is pregnant? But she's in, because she loves her. Arizona truly loves Callie. - he stated looking almost suprised.
As he was talking, he realized that maybe she was leaving him 'cause she didn't love him anymore. He couldn't just trap her in all the dynamics of his messy life.
He was giving her the chance to say she didn't love him. That would have made everything a lot easier for everyone.
He lowered his sight and ran a hand through his hair.
- How could you, Mark? -
As soon as he heard her faint voice, he looked up. She was closer that he expected her to be. Only 20 inches were keeping them apart. He could feel her breathing and could look straight into her warm eyes.
- How could you doubt my feeling for you!? -
She slammed a fits into his chest, trying to hit him as hard as she could.
- Hey! - he shouted out.
- How could you? - She hit him another time, coming closer and closer to him.
- Lexie... -
- How could you? - she managed to say while sobbing. - I love you, Mark, but you are making everything so difficult... -
She lifted her other arm and kept on hitting him through her sobs. He let her. She needed to pour out her repressed emotions and if in order to do that she wanted to use him as a punch ball, he would be fine with that.
He slowly surrounded her shaking body with his strong arms, pulling her into an embrace.
They stayed there, in each other's arms for quite a while.
When Lexie freed herself from his hug, Mark suggested to continue the conversation inside.
- Mark, please... - she begged him. - I can't... I want to be with you, but I can't... -
Mark looked at her and smiled sadly.
- I just want to figure things out, Lexie. I don't want to let you walk away from me again, ok? If after we talk, you'll decide to leave... - he didn't finish his sentence. - I just want to talk. -
- Ok. - she finally said. She grabbed the purse she left in the middle of the hallway and followed him back inside his apartment.
But as soon as she set foot into the flat, Lexie started to back off.
- Mark, I can't... -
- You don't have to say anything, ok? I'm gonna do all the talking. I just need you to listen. -
He looked at her with his sparkling and mesmerizing eyes, silently begging her to just listen to what he wanted to say. She couldn't say no
- Fine. -
But before he had the chance to start talking , someone knocked on the door.
- Yeah?! - shouted Mark.
- Mark, it's me. - It was Callie. Here voice was muffled, but Lexie was sure the persons behind the door was Dr. Torres.
- Everything ok? I heard you and Little Grey shouting... Listen, I'm sorry if she left. I underdtand if you don't open the door. - There was silence for a while, on both sides of the door.
- I know how much you love her and I'm sorry... Remember the "cool uncle" thing. You don't have any obligation towards me. I love you, Mark. You know that. I just want you to be happy and that means you being with Lexie. -
Lexie listened carefully to Callie words, without stop staring into Mark's blue eyes.
Nobody spoke for a few minutes.
- Mark? - said Callie knocking on the door again. - Are you there? -
- Yes, Torres. - he answered trying to sound as normal as usual. He felt everything but normal. He was feeling such strong emotions and they were overwhelming him.
- Thank you, but I've told you before: no cool uncle. -
- Ok. I'll go now. You know, if you need anything, and I mean it, I'm here... - she said with a little bit of shyness and imbarassment in her voice.
They never express so openly their feeling, so neither of them knew what to do.
- Thank you, Callie. You know, ehm... I... ehm... I love you too, Callie. See you tomorrow. -
Callie laughed at Mark's embarrassment.
- See you tomorrow, Sloan. -
Mark and Lexie heard Callie's steps as she entred her apartment and closed the door.
They looked into each other eyes.
- Mark, you have to understand, you're having a baby with two lesbians. The kid is going to have two moms. He/She doesn't need a third one and you would clearly choose her over me. Like you did with Sloane. - she added softly.
Mark closed his eyes and as he took a deep breath, he ran a head through his hair.
- Listen, I'm sorry for what I did. It was very insensitive but Lexie please, I've changed... - he snorted loudly, exasperated. He needed to prove her he grew up.
- I love you. I could stay here and bore you with crap about how much I've changed. -
Lexie looked at him, biting her bottom lip with her teeth.
- But truth is, I'm scared. I've never been so scared in my life before. - She could see desperation and actual, true scare in his face. He stroke his forehead, closing his eyes for just a moment. He snorted, running, for the millionth time, his hand through his hair.
- Mark... -
- Please. Let me finish. - He begged her.
He was slowly falling apart right in front of her.
- I'm scared, Lexie. - he said quietly almost surprised the words were coming out of his mouth.
- I don't know how to be a good father. I've never had a father in my life before. My parents never liked me much as a kid and I barely remember Derek's father, so... I... I don't know what to do. I'm clueless. -
Mark Sloan has never been a man who could express easily his true feelings, but in that moment, he was talking with her with his heart in his hands. He was showing her everything he was feeling. But the only thing he could truly think about was Lexie.
He really hoped she wouldn't turn him down.
- And I need you. YOU, Lexie. I need you to teach me. -
As he spoke those words, a smile grew on both their faces.
- I'm not going to strip and beg you to teach me... - he joked. - … but, I want you to be on my side and teach me how to be a good dad. Because I can't take this alone. A child is a big responsibility. I'm not asking you to become his/her mother. I won't do the same mistake again. And the baby is already going to have two moms... -
- I'm sorry, believe me, I'm sorry for sleeping with Callie. I'm so sorry I got you into this mess. I'm so sorry. -
He stood there, in front of her, speechless. For once, he said all the things he wanted to, without caring about the consequences.
Lexie opened and closed her mouth a few times before managing to speak.
- Twice, Mark. Twice. -
- I know, I'm... -
- Shut up. Now I'm talking. - she said raising a hand to stop him from going on.
- I'm 26, Mark. 26. i know nothing about how to be a good parent. Nothing. I'm not ready to help raise a child that's not mine with you. This is what you're suggesting. You want me to help you raise a child with your lesbian friends. I like Callie and Arizona, you know. I like them very much, but it's not my place to be. -
As she spoke those words, Mark thought he could literally felt his heart breaking down. He felt the need to sit down. He took his head in his hands, not looking at Lexie.
- You know, I love kids. I really do. - she took a deep breath.
- I wanted to raise a child with you, Mark. Just not Callie and Arizona's child. I really did. I imagine us, in a few years, with a beautiful girl with your eyes. -
He lifted his head, looking her right into her eyes. She was crying, but even though she was trying to hold the tears back, they were rolling down her face.
- I used to imagine that. -
She dried her tears with a hand and kept talking.
- I love you too, Mark. I really do. You can't possibly imagine how much I love you. -
Lexie started sobbing and then she hid her face in her hands.
- Lex... -
- I don't want us to fall apart like last time, but I don't... You have a family, Mark. That is what you always wanted, but I'm not a part of it. -
- You can. You can be a part of it. I want you in my family. -
- I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to feel like I felt. Ever again. I'm scared to fall apart like I did, but this time, I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna recover. -
- We won't fall apart. We're stronger, we're older, maybe even a little bit wiser and I think we both learnt from our mistakes. - he said, standing up from the couch and making a few step towards her. He didn't stop until there were a few centimetres separating one from the other.
- I can't... Mark. - whispered Lexie.
- Do you remember what you told me? - His voice was steady, confident. He was looking straight into her eyes with a loving expression on his face.
- "They don't know us. They think that we're ugly, but I know we're beautiful". We're beautiful together, Lexie. We're meant to be together. We are beautiful. I want us to fight, and against all odds, be together and be happy. -
- You're having a child with another woman. -
She couldn't stop looking into his eyes. Those blue, sparkling eyes she loved so much.
- I know, Lex. I'm sorry. It's my mistake, but I love that kid. Even though is right now it's just a bunch of cells. I love him/her. I want us to fight to be together. I didn't fight for you, last time. -
He raised a hand and delicately stroke her cheek.
I took decisions without consulting you, and what's more important, I didn't fight for you. Now I've made another mistake, but this time, I want to fight for you. I'm fighting for you. -
Mark rested his forehead against Lexie's, savouring that moment.
Lexie didn't know what to do. She loved Mark. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but raising the child of two other women...
She wanted their child. Not in that moment, of course, but in a year or two... Why not?
She thought about Callie and the baby. How could she hate the baby? He/she was a part of Mark... She could never hold it against an innocent child, Mark's child, a tiny part of him. For a moment, she even considered leaving. No, that would hurt too much, and she didn't know if she could handle it.
She just needed to love Mark and love his child. A baby. Not a pregnant eighteen-years-old girl.
An innocent child...
She made her mind up. She loved him too much to let him go again.
- I don't want to get hurt again. Please. - she begged him, putting her hands on his chest.
- I promise. I'll fight for you, Lexie. Always. Just give me another chance. -
She didn't say a single word for at least 5 minutes. She just kept breathing in his scent.
- I'm willing to try again. I just have one condition: don't leave me behind. I want to be part of your family. -
she wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him delicately.
- And we're taking this slowly. We already have Callie's pregnancy to deal with, I don't want anything else to worry about. - she said, her face pressed against him.
- Ok. Everything you want. It won't be easy, Lexie, but I want us to fight. -
- We'll fight together and you have to promise we will have a child on our own. We could be a big, very big family. With Callie, Arizona, the baby, Meredith and Derek. I want us, all of us to be a family. But I also want us to be a family and when we're ready, have a child - she whispered, grabbing tightly the shirt he was wearing.
Mark took her face in his hands and gave her a kiss full of love and passion.
- We will be beautiful. -
The End