Summary: Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman are chosen to command the annual civilian training trip off world. Besides the fact they're babysitting a bunch of eggheads for three days, they've got bigger problems. Like the freakin' stargate not working.
Authors Note: First attempt at a SGA fic, so feedback is always appreciated. Reviews, and constructive criticism are lovely, and will be rewarded with hugs, but flames will be used to toast marshmallows. Deadly serious.
Disclaimer: 'Fraid I don't about Stargate Atlantis, or any of the Stargate franchise. Wouldn't say no to owning Major Lorne though.. ;)
Chapter One.
"So, who's trainin' the scientists this year?" Major Lorne asked as his joined Colonel Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon and Lieutenant Cadman at a table near the balcony of the mess.
John couldn't help but smirk. "You and Cadman are."
Lorne stopped with a sandwich held halfway to his mouth, and Cadman spat out a mouthful of chewed food.
"What?!"
"Your turns come 'round Lorne, Cadman." John replied. "Your goin' to P3X447, for a three day course with a bunch of scientists and medic's."
Lorne put his sandwich back on the plate. "When sir?"
"Tuesday." John replied, as Ronon helped himself to Lorne's now forgotten lunch.
"Buts that's only two days away!" Laura sputtered.
John stood up, and slapped her shoulder. "Well, you'd better get planning then Lieutenant."
Teyla stood to follow him, and smiled reassuringly at the horror-stricken pair. "I am sure you will have a good time Major, Lieutenant."
Lorne barley held back a snort. Three days on a planet with a bunch of scientists who weren't at all willing to do the weapons training, or fitness training wasn't his idea of fun.
It wasn't Cadman's either.
"You eating that?" Ronon asked, pointing to Lorne's desert.
Lorne shook his head absently, and Ronon helped himself to the chocolate cake the Major had been looking forward to eating all day. When he saw Laura had also forgotten about her lunch, he grabbed her cake too.
Waste not want not after all.
/////
Tuesday morning.
Major Lorne stood beside the bags, checking the various supplies he and Cadman had requested for their trip off world.
Tents, blanks, MRE's, rope, duct tape.. Yup, they had everything they needed.
Cadman entered the gate room, her arms full of roll's of the silvery tape that was pretty much everyone's best friend.
"Lieutenant?" Lorne said questioningly. He wasn't entirely sure they needed that much duct tape for the training trip.
Laura deposited the tape into one of the two bags she and Evan would be carrying, and shrugged. "You never know sir."
"Hope you aren't planning on using that to shut the scientists up." Colonel Carter smirked as she joined them in the 'gate room.
"Of course not ma'am." Laura said quickly. A little too quickly.
"Off the record here Lieutenant, but you wouldn't be the first." Sam smiled.
"General O'Neill?" Lorne and Cadman said straight away.
Sam nodded. "SG-1 got saddled with it one time, and he wiped out the entire duct tape store at the SGC. That, and the elastic bands. No need to explain that one."
Major Lorne barely held back a laugh. General Jack O'Neill was one legend of a man.
Before they three officers could continue their conversation, the eight scientists they were taking off world entered the 'gate room, weighed down by what seemed to be half their quarters stuffed in a backpack.
"I thought we said pack light." Cadman sighed. "That means takin' the bare necessities, not half Atlantis."
"We are only goin' for three days," Major Lorne agreed. "so, you're going to have to carry-"
He stopped suddenly, and he and Cadman exchanged evil looks.
"But, I think you'll agree Lieutenant, that something they're carrying may come in handy." Evan smirked.
Laura nodded. "Yessir, I think you've hit the nail on the head with that one."
Sam was about to say something, when Major Lorne turned to the control room. "Chuck? We're good to go." He said to the Canadian.
Sam bit her lip, but nodded to the technician to start the dialling sequence.
They stood in silence as the 'gate dialled, and the event horizon came to life. It failed to amaze Sam, even after well over a decade with the Stargate Program.
"You have a go." Sam nodded. "Oh, and Lieutenant, Major?"
The two officers turned to look at their CO.
"Be nice." She warned.
/////
"Alright!" Major Lorne yelled as soon as everyone arrived on the planet. "We are going to be setting up camp on the other side of the river."
"How far is that?" Dr Kavanagh asked, shifting his pack around.
Evan looked at Laura. "How far?"
"'Bout twenty clicks sir." Laura replied.
Evan turned back to the group. "We'd better get walkin' if we wanna be there before night fall."
"Before nightfall?" Dr Kavanagh gasped, looking at the bright afternoon sky.
"Yep!" Evan replied brightly, and they began to walk.
The was a few reasons that John had picked this planet for off -world training. One being that it was completely un-inhabited, another being that it was like a natural obstacle course.
Rather than having to bring a FRED with half a tonne of gear, P3X447 was a drill instructors dream. There was hills not unlike climbing walls, plenty of open areas for camp, rivers, and stuff that could be used to make an obstacle course.
"How long are we going to be walking?" Dr Kavanagh whined.
"Depends on how fast you go." Major Lorne replied.
"Roughly, how long?" Dr Biro asked.
Laura looked at her watch, and back at the group trailing behind them. "Four hours, give or take."
"But, but we have so much stuff with us!" Dr Young complained.
The two officers smirked. "Told you to pack light." Major Lorne replied.
////
It took them almost three hours to reach the river, with the amount of stopping for breaks they were made do, and the amount of complaints, and slow walkers they had to put up with.
They reached the river bank, and Laura looked at her watch.
"We're way behind schedule sir."
Major Lorne nodded. "I know. Guess we'll just have to sacrifice sleep to fit in all the training we're gonna miss."
"You can't do that!" Dr Kavanagh protested.
Major Lorne had just set down his own backpack, and he turned to look at the red faced doctor, water in hand.
"We've got a certain amount of stuff to do, and we gotta get it done or I can't say you passed."
"Which means," Laura interjected. "You can't stay on Atlantis, and you have to go back to Earth and do all the training."
"All organised by General O'Neill. Heard he had to take over from Colonel Mitchell 'cause SG-1 had some sorta undercover mission to go on." Evan added. It was a total lie, but they had heard about General O'Neill's training program's.
Some of them had even been in them.
Major Lorne couldn't help but laugh at their faces.
"Saddle up, we've gotta get there in the next hour, or no one's sleepin' the next three days." Laura said, putting her bag back on. "What's the best across sir?"
Evan was looking out across the river. "Theres no way 'round it, so across it gonna have to do."
"How bout swimming across sir?" Laura suggested. "Just there," She said, pointing out a spot in the river. "Looks pretty shallow the whole way 'cross."
Evan nodded. "You go first, I'll take our six, make sure everyone gets across."
Laura nodded, and made her way to the water, plunging into the clear depths. The water only came up to her waist.
"We're good to go sir."
The six scientists, groaning, followed Laura into the icy cold water. Evan followed suit, close behind Dr Biro, the scary pathologist.
A few minutes into their journey across the river, Laura yelled out and disappeared under the water.
"Hold up!" Evan yelled, swimming towards the front as fast as he could. He un-clipped his backpack and left it gently sinking under water as he dived beneath the surface.
The water was clear, and cool, so the Major easily opened his eyes to search for his 2IC.
She was on the bottom of the riverbed, tugging at a strange looking root that had taken hold of her leg. The Major took off her bag in the hope that it would make it easier on the Lieutenant, but it didn't seem to have much affect.
Evan could already feel his lungs gasping for air, so his grabbed the knife he had strapped to his leg, and tried to hack through the root, but to no avail. It was strong, almost bone like.
Almost bone like…
Evan looked at Laura, who was slowly loosing consciousness from the lack of air, and make his decision. He grabbed his side arm, and shot at the root. The bullet went trough the surface, but embedded in the root, thankfully missing Laura's leg.
The odd-root like thing immediately let go of Laura's leg, and he grabbed her arms, pulling them back up to the surface.
As soon as they broke the water, Laura began sputtering and cursing.
"Fuck's sake!" She said, gulping in mouthful's of air. "Christ! R-R-remind me to kill C-c-colonel Sheppard when we get b-back for sending us-s to a planet with roots t-that like-e to try d-drown you."
Evan grabbed his bag, and handed Laura's to Dr Kavanagh.
"Complain, and I will shoot you." Evan warned, dragging his still panting 21C to the other side of the river.
He pulled her up on the bank, and pulled bottle of water from his bag.
"You alright?" He asked.
Laura nodded. "Been better, but I'll survive."
"Major?" Dr Kavanagh called from the river. "The bag's ripped. Everything's coming out."
Sure enough, when Evan and Laura looked out across the water, there was half the contents of Laura's pack floating everywhere.
Evan sighed, and re-entered the water to get the bag from Dr Kavanagh, and try to salvage the stuff.
A lot of it was completely sodden, but the majority of it could be dried out.
When he got back to the river back, Cadman was waiting with a roll of duct tape.
"Good job I brought this then sir." She smirked, already starting to tape up the hole in her standard issue backpack.
By now it was pitch black, and Evan sighed. "Guess we'll just have to stay here for the night, and get up early tomorrow to go the rest of the way."
Laura nodded, unable to reply because the duct tape hanging from her mouth.
Evan looked at the bickering scientists who were arguing over what kind of illnesses they could get from their dip in the icy water.
"Kavanagh, Biro, go get some firewood." He ordered. "Everyone else, we're putting up the tents."
As he and the remaining scientists unpacked the tents, Evan barely held back the urge to run screaming back into the river.
They were trying to assemble them upside-down.
TBC?