-1Date: April 4th, 2007
Title: Stupid Boy
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Keith Urban or Stupid Boy
Summary: Supplement for my series, Billy-Jack listens to the radio while loading feed and watching his girls. It stirs up memories of the one woman he never meant to wrong.
Dedication: To Poisonchik88, who has been with me since WAY back with Race to Kill, and has been a constant source of support. I can't thank you enough or tell you how much that dedication has meant to me, so I thank your dedication with my own. Plus you're the one that said I should write more songfics.
Billy-Jack grunted flinging the heavy bag off his shoulder and into the bed of the truck, Kendra jumped quickly to adjust the bag's position to allow for more bags to be loaded. She was a good girl, he'd decided. Kendra was the leader, she was the youngest born nearly an hour after Kelly and only fifteen minutes after Kayla but she acted years older than her sisters. She had wizened blue eyes, and when you disappointed her, her lips would purse in a way that reminded him so much of her mother. Kendra was the strong one, and was always there when he came home after his AA meetings with a cup of hot coco and ready to sit in his lap and watch the news. She couldn't really understand the news and fell asleep half way through it more often than not but she knew the comfort she offered her father.
He craned his neck around the side of the pick-up to see Kelly playing with Kayla's hair. Kayla worried him, she had gotten thin since her mother's death, her eyes had lost their spark, and the frequent nightmares had him in a mad panic several nights a week. The only thing that seemed to calm the girl and bring her close to normal was talking with her godmother or Dean Winchester. Billy-Jack smiled when Kelly looked up, feeling her father's eyes on her, before he grabbed another bag off the cart and tossed it in the bed for Kendra to fight with.
"Daddy?" Kendra asked as he tossed a bag of scratch in on top of the load.
"Yea, baby girl?" he answered with out thinking scooping up another bag.
"Why do we die?" He knew by the way she asked, by the fact that she asked, that it really bothered her.
"We die for the same reason the flowers die every fall. So that new, better, things can grow in our place." Billy-Jack offered the same answer Lila Daemon had offered him when he was eight years old and had been distressed over the lose of a young goat.
"Oh, I like that answer better than what Mamaw said."
"When'd you talk to Mamaw?" he hid his frustrations with his former mother in-law behind another grunt.
"She called to talk to us the other day. Grandma Betty said not to tell you, but I think that's because she don't want you to think about Mommy. She knows you still hurt for Mommy." Billy-Jack smiled at his daughter.
"Come on, Princess." He offered her his hand and she took it jumping over the stacks of feed bags into his arms. He gently lowered her to the ground. "Alright, who wants to take the cart back in?" Kelly danced around to take the cart with a nod toward Kendra who stepped toward Kayla wrapping an arm around her triplet. "Right then, Kel, you take that in and give it to Al then come back. Kenny, Kay-Kay, lets get up in the truck and get buckled in."
The later two climbed up in the crew cab of their grandfather's F-150 and Kelly ran the cart in to Al the store manager. Billy-Jack fussed over their seatbelts a moment making sure his girls were safe and secure before starting up the engine. All too quickly he was assaulted by the country music his daughter insisted on listening to, it was their mother's music therefore had to be played as often as physically possible. After a country boy had survived, his girl had rode a sexy tractor, and flaunted her ba donka donk, the girls were asleep, their gentle snores barely audible over the stereo system. He was just about to flip the channel with Keith Urban came on, Martha had loved Keith and as yet another tribute to her he left the song playing.
Well she was precious like a flower
she grew wild, wild but innocent
a perfect prayer in a desperate hour
she was everything beautiful and different
Without meaning for it to happen Autumn slipped into his mind, he wanted to scold himself for thinking of her when he was only leaving the song on for his wife but couldn't find the strength as memories of her crashed down on him.
Autumn's red hair flared around her face, her hazeling eyes were red rimmed from tears. When he looked at her only one word came to mind and that was red. Everything about her was red. Autumn had never been the kind of person who sat down and cried she'd been an angry fighter. Now she had an enemy she couldn't fight. Her hand rested on Athena's shoulder, if Athena was a color it was gold. She was good as gold, sweet and pure. It was easy to see the younger Daemon feeding off the older one's touch. Autumn smiled sweetly at the people who filed forward to offer consoling words and say final good byes to her father who lay in the casket behind them. Billy Jack held himself back between his parents keeping a constant eye on the friends who were staying at his house until tonight.
"Hey," Josh walked up and for the first time Autumn broke in public. She collapsed into his arms when he opened them and Athena trembled in her seat refusing to look at the pair standing next to her. "It's alright, you've got me, okay? I'm not going anywhere." Josh whispered and Billy-Jack only heard because he was so close to them now.
"Joshy, I'm scared," Autumn whimpered.
"I know, baby, you've got my number too. You girls ever need me I'll be right there. I don't care where they take you I'll find you." he promised. Autumn pulled away wiping away tears and smiling a quick thank you that dismissed him too. Josh kissed the top of her head stooping down to pick Athena up. "Why don't the two of us go for a little walk, I need to talk to my best girl," he ran a hand down Autumn's arm before walking away with Athena who was clinging to him like she was afraid letting go would make her lose him forever.
Stupid boy
You can't fence that in
stupid boy
It's like holdin' back the wind
she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream
and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens
when the only voice she hears
is tellin' her she can't
Stupid boy
Stupid boy
Oh
"I want to go to college, what do you think? Maybe something in family counseling? Not like I've not spent enough time in that field already." Autumn gave him a crooked smile.
"You're not leaving," Billy-Jack said sternly. She looked up pushing auburn hair out of her eyes and glared at him.
"You can't stop me, Billy, if I want to go I'm going." a rare flicker of her old self appeared in her. She straightened holding herself tight and in control, just the way she held everything else in her life, not allowing any room for second guessing. But just as soon as the flicker appeared it disappeared. "Who am I kidding, wanting doesn't work, if wanting was all you needed I'd have my parents back." He grabbed her wrists ripping her around to look at him.
"Autumn," he growled. He wasn't sure which hurt worse the thought of losing her or seeing her lost. "I never want to hear you talk like that," he slammed her back into the stone wall of the barn. "Do you understand me?" he ground her back seeing her wince, showing signs of breaking, that wasn't his Autumn his Autumn couldn't be broken.
"B.J." she clenched her eyes shut, fists tightening at her side.
"Don't talk like that, Autumn Aura," he growled again pulling her to him and slamming her back again.
So what made ya think you could take a life
And just push it
push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
you had to take her and break her down
Billy-Jack laughed when Houston shoved the beer in his chest, "Girls you should have been there!"
"Yea, Autty, it was amazing! Two seconds on the clock, no possible way we could have won and out of nowhere there's our boy!" Hudson grinned from ear to ear slinging his arm around her shoulder. Autumn rolled her eyes ducking out of Hudson's grasp. "Oh come on, Autty-Otter, you know you love it!"
"Right, football, a bunch of boys running around in the mud, getting sweaty, and beating the shit out of each other for a ball, if I wanted to see that I'd just put a plate of fried chicken in the old pig pen and you three would do the same thing,"
"Boys, its riding on midnight we need to get home," Martha said coming around the corner with Ben hanging off her hips. "You know how Josh'll act if we stay out too much later."
"Yea, Cuz we know," Huston sighed grabbing for his girl of the night.
"You two'll be okay?" Hudson asked kissing Autumn's neck and starting to follow the others backwards.
"Yea, Hud, I'll call you when we get in," Autumn swore. Hudson nodded turning around to leave.
"You really want to go home?" Billy-Jack asked popping the top on his beer. She glared at the bottle, and shook her head.
"You shouldn't be drinking, we're only 16, Mom finds out she'll kill us all." He laughed staggering forward and pinning her to the wall of the club. "B.J., stop, you're scaring me. Let's just go home." He pressed an arm over her throat stopping her protest while his other hand reached for the hem of her skirt. His hips moved of their own accord as he held her tight between him and the wall.
"Tsk tsk, Autty, you know better than to wear skirts so short, they invite sin." She threw her weight forward but it wasn't enough to remove him.
Billy-Jack slammed the doors of his mind shut on the memory, that had been when it all started, he'd been rough with her before that but that's when he claimed her. That was his biggest mistake with Autumn, he never should have touched her, not like that. But the song went on and he couldn't stop all the memories that flooded him now.
Well she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream
and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens
when the only voice she hears
is tellin' her she can't
You stupid boy
Oh you always had to be right
but now you've lost
the only thing that ever made you feel alive
yeah yeah
"Billy-Jack!" Autumn screamed angrily stomping out the kitchen door, with a butcher knife in hand, not that she'd use it. "You're wrong! His only intentions are to use me to get his work done and in exchange I get the Mustang!"
"You're crazy! That old man is a perv, he wants a lot more than your work," he argued. Autumn stabbed the blade into the wooden railing of the porch stalking towards him, she had some loyalty to this man and it was going to get her hurt, and if it didn't it would give her a way to escape.
"Yes, he wants company too. You people all treat him like a damn leper and he isn't! He's just a lonely old widower." she shouted at him. Billy-Jack landed a blow to her gut dropping her down the steps to lay in a crumpled heap on the gravel path. He ripped her up, taking her shoulders firmly in his hands.
"Don't let your guard down, baby doll, it's a fast track to pain," he threw another fist into her ribs letting her go and walking off. Maybe she was right about the old man but that didn't change that she was only seventeen and didn't need to be alone with some old creep like him. She was his, and Billy-Jack doesn't share.
Well she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream
and you crushed her plans
Yes ya did
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens
when the only voice she hears
is tellin' her she can't
You stupid boy
Oh I'm the same old
same old stupid boy
It took awhile for her to figure out
she could run
but when she did
she was long gone
long gone
Autumn glared at him when the nurse left, her arms constantly wrapped around her abdomen, and he could only guess at why because she'd never admit it to him. Not after what happened to their last child, not after she'd lost it like that. But it was supposed to be different, they were supposed have been married this morning instead she woke up in a hospital bed suffering her severe head wounds. Though her mind seemed unscathed.
"The doctor said he'd release you tomorrow, we'll rework everything when you get home and set the wedding for next weekend. No one will have to know about," he nodded at her stomach, "that."
"That isn't a problem anymore, I lost it." she glared daggers at him and his heart damn near broke from the look in her eyes, behind the anger. "You just can't stop can you? I didn't want this! All I wanted was to try, I wanted you to at the very least listen to me. Hunting is just something I wanted to think about. Why can't you let me breath?" she demanded.
"You go off with that… that man, and you'll never come back. You'll get killed somewhere, then what happens to me?"
"I never said you couldn't come with me, you and Athena both could come. She's not been the same since Hudson and Huston died, she needs to get out of here, she needs to get away from their memories for a while."
"Autumn, they're not real, ghosts aren't real." he was desperate for her to let go of that memory. Her uncle wasn't killed by ghosts she had to understand that. These Winchesters lied to her.
"But they are! Billy you know we aren't meant to be here forever! The town is rotting way at your soul, it's poisoned you with its tiny mind. Just for a little while, I can write from the saddle of a horse!" she was begging. "Or I can leave alone. Either way, I'm done here. I won't spend anymore time in your mother's house under your control."
"Autumn," he started and the nurse came in announcing visiting hours to be over. She'd left the next morning, and it was a good three years before he saw her or Athena again. They were just gone, and only he knew what they were doing.
Ah she's gone
Long gone
yeah she is
Yeah
oh
No one's ever gonna love me
like she loved me
and she loved me she loved me
God please just let her know
I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry
baby
Yeah
I'm down on my knees
She's never comin' back to me
Billy-Jack sent the girls inside and unloaded the feed himself, the end of the song replaying over and over in his mind. That night it was still going through his mind as he tucked the girls into Autumn's bed. He showered and went down to the kitchen, in the fridge was a cold beer that he wanted so badly. Instead he grabbed the phone and dialed a number that was so familiar to him he could dial it in his sleep.
"Yea?" her voice was groggy but still sweet as honey. He could hear shuffling on the other end, "Dean, let go, I need to get up."
"Autumn?" he asked when he was sure she'd gotten away from that hunter of hers.
"Yea, B.J. what's wrong? Is it the girls? Are they sick?" he chuckled even though he had no right to laugh at her.
"No, everything is fine. I just… I'm sorry. About everything, I'm sorry."
"Have you been drinking again? Billy-Jack we can't keep doing this, you can't call me every time you pop a top."
"Autumn, I've not been drinking. Haven't had a drop in two months." He heard her sigh on the other end of the line and imagined her leaning into the outside wall of some motel states away. "I'm fixing everything, Autty. I can't ever make up for what I did,"
"Damn straight," she growled.
"I can't make up for it, but know I'm sorry, okay?"
"I know," there was a smile in her voice now but it wasn't to him. "I'll be right in Dean, I'm just finishing up the call." there was silence a moment before she was speaking to him again. "Billy-Jack, I'm proud of you, I really am. But I've got to go, we've got to move on."
"Okay," he couldn't bring good-bye to his lips and after another few seconds the line was cut and he was listening to the dial tone.
A/N: I'll have the next chapter of Phantoms up as soon as I can but play with this until then. Hope you enjoyed it and leave me a few reviews, maybe you'll jumpstart my mind again. THANKS a million for all your support guys, you mean the world.