Well, I'm home from camp and ready to start new stories for the new school year! I think I'll discontinue Business Ethics because, well, to be blunt, it's crap. But I've been planning this story for a while, and I think you'll enjoy it. Please review. I'm serious this time. The last chapter of Business Ethics, last time I checked, got exactly one review. I'm going to need more encouragement than that.
Thanks to Lissa for encouraging me to continue this story. Love ya, Liz!
Anywho, here's the story I've been planning in my head and on paper for a month. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Office, but I went to the Viewmont Mall two weeks ago and ran clapping into the Victoria's Secret in the style of Kelly. (BTW, it was so not the same Victoria's Secret that was shown in the episode, even though they claimed it was the Viewmont Mall. The mall didn't have a fountain, either, which pissed me off, but oh well.)
ADDED NOTE: I had to break what was going to be the first chapter into two separate parts because of the length. So this is part one, and the next chapter, which is either already up or is going to be in five minutes, is part two, but they're the same chapter taking place on the same day.
Enough babbling. Story time.
A/N I couldn't add email addresses because it was made into a link and I didn't want fanfiction to remove my story. If anyone knows how to make fake email addresses for characters without it turning into a link, it would be much appreciated and I'll give you an e-flower.
EMAILS SENT 9/5/08
To: Angela, Kelly, Dwight, Pam, Creed, Holly, Jim, Meredith, Oscar, Phyllis, Kevin, Stanley, Andy
From: Michael
Subject: Shut 'cher cake hole!
Time: 10:40
What's up, peeps!
Hey gang! Just asking a little favorooni. Could you please, just, try to stay quiet when I'm on the phone. I wouldn't normally ask, but Lady Levanson's getting all hormonal on me and keeps saying that she can't hear me over all you guys.
XOXO,
Michael
To: Pam
From: Jim
Subject: Michael
Time: 10:47
Hey, Beez. Michael's hit a new level of weirdness today, that's for sure. Your thoughts? Don't expect me to respond right away, I have to fill out this paperworrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
To: Jim
From: Pam
Subject: RE: Michael
Time: 10:50 am
Jim,
Did you die of boredom again?
To: Pam
From: Jim
Subject: RE: RE: Michael
Time: 10:52 am
Can't respond. Dead.
To: Jim
From: Pam
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Michael
Time: 10:58
Jim,
Wasn't that a response? ;-)
Oh all right, I'll revive you. All week, Dwight's been talking about how he beat the old website at selling paper and he'll beat the new one. The old screen name we made up for the site is still up, right? Have fun. I'll login so I can watch.
Chat started at 11:00 am
Dundermifflin: I feel very strange. I am the same, but I am different somehow. I don't remember much of anything, but your name seems to have lingered in my memory. Maybe you can help me.
Battlestar51: Leave me alone. I have already defeated you.
Dundermifflin: Defeated me? What are you talking about?
Battlestar51: You know exactly what I'm talking about. I am the superior being.
Dundermifflin: Ah, that's right. It's all coming back to me now. You will not defeat me again. I am smarter, faster, and safer, with a new and improved defense system against sexual predators.
Battlestar51: I beat you once and I will beat you again.
Dundermifflin: Foolish human.
To: Jim
From: Pam
Subject: Foolish human?
Time: 11:15
Jim,
Foolish human? What is this, Star Wars or something?
This is very entertaining.
To: Pam
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Foolish human?
Time: 11:20
What is a Jim?
To: Jim
From: Pam
Subject: RE: RE: Foolish human?
Time: 11:25
Computer,
Very funny. You'll want to get back to the chat. Dwight's getting suspicious.
Chat resumed at 11:30 am
Dundermifflin: We meet again.
Battlestar51: You can't fool me. I know who this is.
Dundermifflin: It's me. Who else would it be?
Battlestar51: Jim.
Dundermifflin: I seem to remember you mentioning a Jim in a previous discussion of ours. I am still not exactly sure what a Jim is.
Battlestar51: You're so smart. Figure it out.
Dundermifflin: I am too busy selling more paper than you.
Battlestar51: I can outsell you in my sleep.
Dundermifflin: What is a sleep?
Dundermifflin: Don't get violent. There is no reason to take out your anger on your desk.
To: Jim
From: Pam
Subject: Sleep
Time: 11:45 am
Jim,
Nice job. It takes some work to get Dwight to pound on his desk like that. Let's take a break. It's lunch anyway.
To: Pam
From: Jim
Subject: RE: Sleep
Time: 11:47 am
What is a Jim?