The Ultimate Pokemon Fanfic
Written by
Vidiogman, G-Man, Knight Dark Angel
CHAPTER 1
The Story Begins
Central Lewmar is a man in his late forties who is in a mid-life crisis. Working as a truck driver, he quits his job and buys a motorcycle. He then receives a Metagross from a stranger named Evil Sean, who works for Team Rocket. He then travels to the Elite Four and takes the place of Bruno in the Elite Four.
Once upon a time, in a land called Kanto, there were many people walking down a road. Their names were Anzu, Florence, Melvin, Kakashi, and Mako Tsunami.
Anzu is a girl who just graduated from ninja school. No one likes her because she is related to Sakura, but does not have pink hair because she is not directly related to Sakura. Anzu pretends to be in love with Melvin because he's emo, but is secretly in love with Florence for no adequately explored reason. Kakashi hugs Anzu out of happiness because he is glad she graduated ninja school with him. However, Mako Tsunami, unknown to Anzu, is in love with her, and out of anger harpoons Kakashi.
At the hospital, Kakashi is in his bed, resting from his harpoon injury. As Pikachu is treating his injury, Eddie Van Halen walks into the hospital and plays a charity concert to raise enough money to help heal Kakashi's wound. However, he rocks out so hard the hospital crashes to the ground, and has thousands of more concerts to pay for a new hospital. Luckily for Kakashi, when the light fixture fell from the ceiling it unexpectedly healed his harpoon injury. So they all walked out the hospital unscathed.
As they all walked by they met a stranger named Ash Ketchum. Ash is training his Pikachu to do Volt Tackle, and Pikachu assaults Florence, so Florence punches the Pikachu until he is bleeding profusely.
- Ash Ketchum, surprised, yelled, "What the hell? That is my Pikachu you're assaulting violently!"
- "But he assaulted me and gave me third degree burns from his tackle!" said Florence.
- "So, you should be watching your way."
- "Guys, stop fighting! You're making Kakashi cry!" said Anzu.
- *sob sob*
- "Yah…stop…" said Melvin.
- "Okay Ash, I'll stop. Ouch…!" said Florence, realizing that he did not want to emotionally scar Kakashi.
- "I think this is a time to eat some fish from the ocean. You see, I get free fish from the ocean because I'm married to her. Here, let me call her on my cell phone," Mako interjected.
Mako Tsunami takes out his cell phone and uses the speed-dial "1". The phone rings, and Mako answers.
- "Hello ocean," said Mako into the phone, "I just called to ask you to tell my friends that we're married. Here let me put you on speaker-phone."
Mako puts the phone on speaker.
- "We're married, right ocean?"
Long pause.
- "The ocean says yes."
After going to the hospital in Viridian City to treat Florence's third degree burns, a swarm of Beedril attack Melvin and Kakashi out of cold blood. Luckily, they were right next to the hospital. While the Beedril flew by, Ash Ketchum caught them all with his Pokeballs, and gave all of them away to little children, who all got stung. Unfortunately, Kakashi is allergic to bees, so they spent three weeks in the hospital treating his injuries. During that time, Mako Tsunami cheated on his wife with Nurse Joy. When the Ocean found out, Mako went to their house and had to deal with the divorce papers with her. Since it would take a few months, the rest of the group left without him.
Florence goes to the general store and steals potions and revives. He then proceeds to run away from Officer Jenny, but Melvin, who is in love with Florence because he's emo, cuts himself, which distracts Officer Jenny, because she likes emo people. Florence then proceeds to go to a man wearing dark clothes and has a red "R" on it, and tells him to buy the goods and sell it on the black market. Florence receives 600 Japanese dollars for his evil deeds.
Florence decides to do something useful, so he spends a portion of his money on Hotel Viridian, the finest hotel in Viridian City. He rents out three rooms; one has Florence and Melvin, the seconds has Anzu and Ash Ketchum, the third has Kakashi. They all stayed the night in peace and harmony. Anzu, however, did not sleep in peace. Every three hours or so, she needed a drink of water, and as a result, she needed to go to the bathroom just as frequently.
The next morning they all gathered their things and headed to Viridian Forest. Florence bought some Pokeballs and led the group with Ash Ketchum.
- "Don't worry you guys," said Ash Ketchum, "I know what I'm doing."
- "Oh, I believe you. I've heard plenty of stories about you," said Anzu.
- "Okay, can we just go?" said Florence, frustrated.
They headed into the forest, unaware of the Pokemon inside the tall grass. As the group was marching through the tall grass, a Caterpie jumped Melvin.
- "What the hell?" said Melvin unenthusiastically.
- "Don't worry Melvin, I'm sure Ash or Florence can help you," said Kakashi.
- "Yes I will!" yelled Florence.
- "I don't care," said Melvin.
Florence threw the Pokeball at the Caterpie. It was sucked into the Pokeball as a beam of light and, while trapped, shook inside the Pokeball, attempting to escape. It tilted once…twice…three times…*click!*.
- "Yes! I caught a Caterpie!" said Florence overjoyed.
- "No offence Florence, but Caterpies suck," said Ash.
- "Hey, wasn't a Caterpie the first Pokemon you ever caught?"
- "Shut up!"
To Be Continued…