Beautifully Unexpected, You.
40 days.
That's how late I was. The last time I had ever been this late, I was twenty-one and in med school, missing my period due to all of the stress I was undertaking. But this time, I'm forty-three and despite my age I'm ninety percent sure of why this is happening now and just thinking about it takes my breath away just a bit.
A little over a month ago, my person, my…best friend…showed up at my door in the middle of the night. To say my heart exploded out of my chest when I saw his face is an understatement, I was elated and couldn't believe he had flown halfway across the world to me unexpectedly. Owen Hunt.
While we started catching up like old friends right away in my kitchen, I couldn't help but feel a little concerned about his sudden arrival. When I questioned him, he made a confession that I could only describe as my life coming around full circle, or so I thought. He loved me, he had always been in love with me. And that was it. We wrapped one another in our arms, kissed passionately and eventually made love for hours, and hours…and hours.
In retrospect I didn't even think about asking him to put on a condom, I was just so caught up in the moment, and I think he was too. I had recently switched off the pill to a new form of birth control, Nexplanon, which was a small device placed under my left arm. Having to remember to take a pill everyday at the same time was sometimes hard to keep up with with my demanding work schedule and I know I had missed a few doses here and there. The thought of accidentally getting pregnant never crossed my mind. I was always prepared. I had just gotten the device put in one week before Owen showed up, and I think I should have given it 30 days minimum to kick in.
And now over a month later, I'm doubled over my bathroom sink in nausea for the third time this week. I have no one to walk my through this, talk me down, hold me, no one. No Owen, that's for sure, because my ass kicked him out 24 hours after his arrival when he rambled on while we were in bed, revealing that he may in fact still be caught up in his relationship with his ex-wife Amelia.
But I couldn't think about that right now, because in my heart I knew that in about 10 minutes my life was more than likely going to change in an instant and I honestly didn't know if I was emotionally prepared. My hands shaking in pure nerve, I took a deep breath and removed the piece of plastic from the box that could change my life forever. Our lives forever.
Positive.
I'm pregnant. I'm freaking pregnant. It's as if I've known it from the second I started having symptoms but, at the same time I can't believe it. I'm going to be a mom, no, I am a mom. Tears streaming down my face, I smile at the little pink plus sign staring back at me. I didn't care that I was alone anymore because now, placing my hand on my abdomen, I knew I would never be alone again.
One week later.
I scheduled an OBGYN appointment right away and the earliest I could get in was exactly a week after taking the home pregnancy test. I wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby before I flew to Seattle to tell Owen. Yes, I'm going to tell him. At first I didn't want to. I didn't want to show up, knocked up and force him into a relationship with me just because of the baby, our baby. But that was just it, this is our baby. He has the right to know, and maybe I was too hard on him…maybe I wasn't, but in the end he needs to know about his child and we can figure out all the rest later.
"Theodora Altman?" The doctor called out my name and I shuddered hearing it in full.
"Teddy." I said getting up and smiling at her as I followed her to the exam room.
"Okay let's get started here, Teddy. How far along do you think you are?" She asked sweetly.
"About 7 weeks." I replied.
"Okay, great. Now lie back, pull up your shirt and we'll see whats going on here." She said kindly.
I laid down while she squirted some gel on my abdomen, warning me ahead that it may be a little cold. And damn, it was! Moving the probe around my abdomen, a smile crept across her face almost immediately.
"And here we go. That little peanut shaped spot right there? That's your baby." Seconds later a tiny but strong rhythm of the heartbeat filled the room.
A lump formed in my throat and not being able to keep it in any longer, I started laughing and crying from pure joy.
"Oh my god, oh my god!" I exclaimed, not being able to take my eyes off my little peanut on the monitor.
"Everything looks really good, Teddy. Heartbeats strong. Good measurements, it's all looking great so far." She said, wiping the gel off of my stomach, and freezing the screen to print out pictures for me.
"Thank you." I said, my voice cracking a bit.
I have a child growing inside of me, a son or daughter on the way. I still can't believe it. In my wildest dreams I had never truly imagined this moment, because my life had always taken so many unexpected turns, never going the way I thought it would and I had somewhat given up on the idea of having children after awhile. Even with Henry, as perfect as we were together, because of his Von Hippel-Lindau disease he couldn't bare the thought of having a child with me and possibly passing the gene down to an innocent child. And then he died, so I moved on from the idea of being a mother. And now I don't have to.
I'm secretly hoping I have a little girl cooking in there. Of course I'll be happy if I have a little boy too. It's just, I've always wanted a daughter, a mini me with the the perfect combo of me and her dad. And now, that dad is going to be Owen Hunt and no matter how we left things, I'm happy that he is the father of my baby.
As I sat down in my seat on the plane headed to Seattle, I took out one of my ultrasound pictures, that I haven't stopped staring at since my appointment and just stroke it softly while my other hand rests on my abdomen. "My beautifully, unexpected you." I whisper to myself, smiling and look out the window to the breathtaking sunset.