Author's note: To be honest, I don't know where this came from. I do not want this to happen, so please, don't shoot. The song is from Cyndi Thomson.
Disclaimer: I in no way own the characters or the show they are on, General Hospital.
Sonny sat in silence, staring at the flame of a candle. Running over his thoughts in his mind, he tried his best to stay composed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make what was happening seem real.
"She's gone."Ric had said, clearly in shock.
"Time of death-13:42...1:42 PM."
Sonny heard the voice, he heard the doctors. But suddenly, his feet ran out of the room. He couldn't be there, he couldn't be in that room.
"Sonny?...Is everything okay?"Robin asked, seeing a grief-stricken Sonny wandering the hallway.
Running his hands through his hair, Sonny shook his head defiantly. "It's...It's Alexis."He said, his throat tightening. "She uh...She's gone."
"Gone? She's not supposed to leave."Robin said, not grasping what he meant.
"No, Robin-GONE...as in...as in dead, okay? The mother of my child is dead. The cancer was too much, she just couldn't-she couldn't take it."
Robin's eyes pleaded with him as she offered him an embrace. "I'm so sorry, Sonny. I know how hard she fought...I know how much you fought, too. If there's anything I can do-"
"Thanks."Sonny said. "But I need time...How can I-Ric won't tell Kristina. And there's no way I'm letting him keep my daughter...Alexis' daughter."
He couldn't tell her. It was the one thought that ran rampant in Sonny's mind. He'd been hiding in the hospital chapel for the past hour, contemplating going back out. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the idea- Alexis was gone. For good. Sonny's face was soaked with tears, a fact that surprised even him. All the while that Alexis had been undergoing treatment, he'd wanted to believe no, he knew that she'd make it.
Shaking his head, he knew he should probably go and break the news to people. Maybe it wasn't his place, but he sure as heck didn't want Ric telling everyone his side of the story. Burying his face in his hands, Sonny wished it would all disappear. The last few months he and Alexis had reconciled and were on the fast track to becoming great friends again. But the second he heard the doctor call it, it was like the weight of the world had dropped onto his shoulders.
He couldn't go home, because if he did, he'd drink. And though she wasn't here, Sonny could just picture what Alexis would say. She'd stand there all regally, she'd smile but her eyes, Sonny thought, those big, brown eyes would say a whole other thing.
Sonny remembered when he first learned Alexis had cancer. It was like life had been pulled out of him. He couldn't breathe. Even Carly had been civil to Alexis, at least to her face.
While he hadn't expected it, Sonny lazily found his way to Harborview Towers. He didn't want to face Jason, or even Elizabeth for that matter. Instead, Sonny climbed the stairs and found his way to Penthouse Four. Looking around the living room, his mind was flooded with memories. The talks they had on the sofa, the night they had-he remembered when Carly told him that Kristina was his.
Alexis was gone. His friend, his former attorney, the mother of his children-died. And worse, he was in the room when it happened. He remembered the look in her eyes-soft, sad and forgiving. "Take care of Kristina."She said, knowing her time was coming. "And please, Sonny...don't fight with Ric. I know you two have this battle going on but please...let Kristina know her sister. Give her the chance."
That was it, and then she was gone. Sonny's thoughts were soon interrupted by a knock on the door. He didn't answer. Instead, Jason opened the door and walked inside. "Hey man...Robin just...she just called. Max said he saw you comin' up. You Okay?"
Sonny shook his head, staring straight ahead at the wall. "No. I'm not okay. I have to tell my daughter...I have to tell our daughter that her mother is dead-that she'll never see her again. How am I supposed to do that?...How can I...How can-"
Jason sat on the couch next to him. "I dunno, Sonny. But you have to. You can't let Ric-"
"Don't you think I know that?"Sonny asked him, his voice shaky. In truth, he wasn't sure why he had came to the penthouse. It wasn't like he lived there anymore. But still, it reminded him of Alexis. It was the last place that they were truly civil, that they were still friends. That is, up until the past few months.
He couldn't live in Greystone anymore. Sonny moved back into the penthouse without giving a reason as to why. He stood in the living room, pacing back and forth. It was a week later, the day of Alexis' funeral. He didn't want to go, but knew in his heart that he had to. When a knock came at the door, he knew it was Jason with Elizabeth.
Opening the door, he saw them. Elizabeth, showing the slightest sign of a bump wore a black dress and her hair hung loosely around her face. Jason stood beside her wearing the only suit that he owned. They, all three of them, had decided to go together.
"Thanks guys...but I don't think I can do this. I can't face Ric and be all civil..I can't bury-"
"It's okay."Elizabeth said, placing her hand on his arm. "Everyone will be there. You don't have to speak or anything."
Jason looked at her as if he was saying something.
Sighing, Elizabeth reached into her purse and pulled out a small, letter size envelope. "When we were fixing Alexis' room, we found this. There were a few more adressed to Ric, Nikolas, and even one to Molly and Kristina."
Sonny ran his hand over the familiar scrawl and felt tears instantly burn his eyes. "Thanks, Elizabeth."He said, slipping the letter in his coat pocket.
The funeral came and went, in a strange fit of cold November rain. The clouds still hung over head as Sonny stared at the sleeping girl beside him. Kristina-his only tie to Alexis was at the moment, curled up beside him.
Remembering the letter Elizabeth had given him, Sonny reached over to his coat as pulled it out. Sitting on the side of the bed, in the light of a candle (a gardenia-scented one, at that), his trembling hands opened the envelope.
Sonny,
To be honest, I'm not sure if you'll ever read this. I'm not even sure why i'm doing this and i'm sure that if Lainey found out she would think it was a bad idea. In any case, I needed to write you.
The doctors tell me that i'm running out of options. While the chemo works, it is quickly wearing away my strength. While I know they're trying hard to tell me the truth, I know that they are candy-coating it. Which brings me to the real reason I'm writing you. Maybe my end isn't near. Maybe, I still have a good twenty or thirty years left in me. But just incase I don't, there are a few things you need to know, and a few things that, while to you they may seem selfish, they are important requests to me.
Sonny, take Kristina to the island. Not to live, please. But atleast let her see everything, let her know how much you love it there. As I write, I am remembering that dance we had, and the time you caught me as I nearly fell of of the fountain. I remember, Sonny. And in some ways I wish I had that time back again. I don't regret it, but what I do regret is the way that things ended between us.
Please, Sonny-keep the truce with Ric. And stop cringing, I can see it from here. It is important for you to read what I am about to say, because it'll change everything. Maybe it'll help you to make sense of things. Molly isn't Ric's. I know it's hard to believe, but Sonny-she's yours. We were arguing over Kristina, I had just come inside from the rain. Soaking wet, I felt cold. You were there, and it happened. I've counted back, and there's no way that Ric could be her father. Please don't hate me for hiding this truth from you. But I need you to know that I did what I thought was best. At the time, we were barely speaking, we practically hated each other.
The past few months we have been growing closer,. keeping everything together. I want you to know how important that is to me, Sonny. I need you to know that I don't regret it. Heck, Carly was even nice to me. But still, I guess this is supposed to be goodbye, so I might as well tell you everything. Kristina gets cold at night, so try and give her a thicker blanket. Molly likes to be fed just before bedtime, but don't believe her when she acts like she's full, she'll wake up an hour later for more. Kristina's favorite movie is 'Finding Nemo', she's watched it enough to know it by heart. Her favorite food is spaghetti (and put away those dimples, I know you're grinning)...she loves popcorn, but not as much as I do. I promised her that we would go Christmas shopping after I got better, so please be sure to take her.
And Sonny?...I love you. Words cannot begin to describe how I feel, so I won't even try. But you gave me Kristina, and I could never thank you enough. Over the past few months, I've gotten to know you again, I've gotten to see the real you again. I miss us, Sonny, I really do. I miss you telling me to breathe, I miss you telling me that popcorn was bad for me only to give me some anyway. I should go, I think that the doctors are about to come in, I hear them talking outside the door. Don't be sad, but know that it's okay. I'll be with my sister, I'll be with Zander-and I'll be with you. Kristina acts more and more like me every day. Good-bye, Sonny.
Love,
Alexis
By the time Sonny had finished reading, tear stains ran down her letter, and Sonny's hands still shook. Molly was his. She loved him. It was alot to take in, but he knew she had meant it. Drawing in a deep breath, Sonny placed the letter in his nightstand and turned back towards Kristina.
His heart sank. She wasn't coming back. But as Sonny watched Kristina sleep, he knew she'd always be with them. And as the rain fell softly on the window pane, Alexis knew that, too.