AN – Inspired by the Cold Play song "Fix You," which I recommend listening to while reading this, if you can, being as I can't put it in here.
Fix You
"Harry? Harry, I'm home! Where are you?"
None of the lights were on in their London flat when Ginny apparated home that evening. As she walked up the steps, no door flung open to greet her after a long day of work. No smiling Harry holding a raven-haired four year old on his hip and a story book in the other hand. Just dark windows. Ginny gulped loudly as she pushed open the front door. He should have been home by now…
"Harry?" she called through the house, setting her bags down on the dining room table. He wasn't in their kitchen, or sitting at the makeshift desk, absorbed in his paper work. As she wandered down one hall to the living room, Ginny swore she could hear their TV on. That was odd. Harry usually didn't watch TV when their daughter was here. He played with Lily instead.
She was about to pass down the hall into their living room when the phone rang. Harry had insisted they have a telephone, mostly to keep in touch with Hermione, who kept an apartment in a muggle neighborhood. Turning away from the sound of the television, Ginny answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Ginny? Is everything alright?"
It was Hermione.
"Of course. I just got home from work – Hermione, you sound upset, what's the matter?"
Ginny listened to her friend's nervous breathing calm.
"Oh Ginny, it's just… well, when I went to pick up Aiden at school today, Lily was still there."
Ginny felt her heart sinking. "What time were you there?"
"Not till 4:30, he likes to play football after school with his friends."
"And Lily was there?!"
"She was sitting outside on the bench by herself."
But… but I don't understand," Ginny stammered, "Harry was supposed to pick her up right after school today, she had a dance lesson!"
"Gin I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do, so I brought her back here. She'd been waiting for two hours."
Ginny looked at the clock. 6:30. Harry had never picked their daughter up. Forgetting the sound from the other room, Ginny spoke quickly,
"Thanks Hermione, I'll be right over to pick her up"
Ginny parked outside the brownstone Hermione shared with Ron. Instantly, Hermione appeared at the door, a backpack in one hand, and Lily's hand clasped firmly in the other. Ginny rushed up the steps and scooped her daughter into her arms. She could see the tear marks on the little girl's face.
"Oh, Lily, honey, I'm so sorry. Were you scared after school by yourself?"
Lily sniffled and nodded, "Where's daddy?"
"He's at home sweetie, we're going to see him right now."
Ginny turned to Hermione, seeing that her older friend looked a bit upset herself.
"Hermione, I'm so sorry, I know you're so busy, but thank you so much for bringing Lily home with you."
"Don't worry about me, Ginny. It's a pleasure to have her. But I'm worried. Where is Harry?"
Ginny was taken aback, "At home, why?"
"Why didn't he pick Lily up from school?"
"I… I'm sure he just forgot."
"This has happened before, hasn't it?"
"It was just a misunderstanding, Hermione."
Hermione took Ginny by the shoulders,
"Is everything alright with Harry? I'm his best friend, you can tell me."
Ginny shook herself loose.
"Everything's fine. If it's too much trouble for you to have Lily with you, I'll make sure the school just calls me next time and I can come get her."
These words hit Hermione across the face, but as she opened her mouth to speak, Ginny turned and led her daughter back to the car.
Back at their flat, Ginny brought Lily into the kitchen and helped her into a chair. Quickly she procured a plate of cookies and some grape juice and, kneeling, set them on the table next to her teary-eyed daughter.
"Sweetie, I know you want to see daddy, but why don't you just wait in the kitchen for a minute while mommy talks to him, okay?"
Lily nodded, reaching for a cookie nervously. Ginny stood and smiled at her now contentedly munching daughter, then turned back to the living room, where the television was still on.
"Harry?"
There he was, exactly where she had expected. His head had fallen back over the chair, mouth wide open in a snore that was quieted by the roar of the TV.
"Harry, wake up."
After turning the TV off, Ginny moved to the glass coffee table, picking up the half-empty bottle of fire whiskey and the upturned glass. She shook Harry's shoulder roughly,
"Harry!"
He started, and blinked groggily. Looking at her, he spoke, his voice unnaturally low and sleepy,
"Hey Gin-Gin, what time is it?"
She flinched at the nickname. Finally aware of the dark, she flicked a light switch.
"It's almost 7:30."
He blinked again, obviously trying to think through the alcohol. Then he stood, legs unsure, leaning on the chair for support. A
As he moved to the door, Ginny stepped in front of him. He reeked of whiskey.
"Where are you going?"
He kept walking, trying to brush her aside. When she didn't move, he glowered down at her.
"I've got to… go pick up Lils at school."
Ginny felt the anger welling up in her,
"Harry, you were supposed to pick her up at 2:30. Five hours ago!"
His face contorted in drunken panic and confusion,
"Where is she?"
"Home. I picked her up at Hermione's."
Harry moved to go back to his chair. Ginny caught his shoulder and pulled him to face her. His eyes couldn't focus.
"Harry, why didn't you pick Lily up at school?"
"I forgot."
"Forgot? You were fucking passed out!" Ginny started to scream.
"I won't do it again, I just fucking… I fell asleep…"
"YOU ARE DRUNK!" Ginny was red in the face now, "YOU ARE FUCKING PISSED OUT OF YOUR MIND AND HERMIONE HAD TO PICK OUR DAUGHTER UP BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO FUCKING DRUNK TO REMEMBER ANYTHING BUT YOUR FUCKING SELF!"
"Ah fuck, just shut up, you stupid bitch. I'm leaving." Harry moved to go by her again, but Ginny wouldn't move. She shoved him backwards, causing Harry to take an unbalanced step back to right himself. Eyes bloodshot and unfocused, Harry raised his right fist and quickly connected it with Ginny's left cheek, knocking her head into the wall and her body onto the table, which shattered beneath her. He looked ahead to see Lily, wide-eyed, clinging to the doorframe of the kitchen, her eyes filled with tears.
"Aw Lils, honey, I'm sorry."
She took a step back.
"Come, here, sweetie," but as he took a step forward, Lily turned and ran up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her.
Harry turned to see his wife, unconscious in a pile of glass, and stumbled down the hall and out the front door, slamming it behind him.
Ginny awoke hours later to a muffled wailing upstairs. She opened her eyes and felt a searing pain on her face. Slowly she pulled herself to her feet, feeling the sting of a few pieces of glass dropping from her arms and legs. She probably shouldn't have worn that skirt today, but Harry had said it looked so nice on her when she came downstairs that she'd elected to leave it on.
Harry. The house was quiet, where was he? He'd said he was leaving. Ginny looked to the front door, to see it flapping slightly in the rainstorm that raged outside. So he'd left. She stumbled down the hall and closed the door, only then becoming aware of the crying noise that had awoken her. The sound added to the throbbing pain in the back of her head.
Lily. Ginny moved as quickly as she could up the stairs to her daughter's bed room. There was a quivering lump under the green blankets of her bed. Ginny pulled the blankets back slowly. Lily looked up at her with scared eyes, tears and mucus running down her face and wetting her corduroy jumper. Upon seeing her mother, Lily gave a big sob and collapsed into Ginny's waiting arms.
"Shhh, Lils, it's okay, mommy's here."
"Mommy, daddy left… he left, I made him leave," she sobbed.
"No honey, it wasn't your fault. It's mommy's, but he'll be back soon, I promise." Ginny wiped her daughter's nose on her sleeve, "And when he comes back, I'll make pudding and mom and dad won't fight anymore, okay?"
Lily nodded, and Ginny tucked her in.
"Go to bed, sweet heart. Everything will be fine in the morning."
Ginny was sitting at her mirror when the front door opened. She flinched, but continued wiping the specks of blood off her arms and legs, and pulling out the tiny bits of glass. She didn't feel calm enough to perform any sort of healing spells.
Looking at her face, she smiled weakly. Blue and red and yellow spots marred the entire left side, and her nose was as red and swollen as her eyes. 'All in all, not to bad,' she thought. 'No bones broken. I wouldn't want to have to go to the doctors again.'
When her bedroom door opened, Ginny stiffened but did not turn around. She finished pulling her hair up and avoided looking at the dark figure that was visible in her mirror. It wasn't until she felt warm hands on her sides that she acknowledged Harry's presence.
"It's almost midnight. Where have you been?" she said coldly.
"I was… I went to a bar, but Ron was there."
"My brother Ron?"
"He took me back to his place. Hermione was out with the kids."
She turned and looked at him indignantly,
"You went to my brother's house, drunk?"
Harry nodded, now playing with some of the hair in her ponytail. When she whipped it away, the broken look in his eyes was unmistakable. Ginny felt her heart soften.
"He fixed me up. He says I need help."
Ginny turned away again.
"I didn't want him to know."
"He's really angry. He said he and Hermione already knew something was up."
"I snapped at her. I just, I don't want her to think I cant handle this on my own."
Harry flicked on a light, and turned her to face him. She winced as his hand touched her bruise, and saw his eyes widen then shut, filled with tears. He pulled her into his arms, and Ginny felt herself falling into him. His voice was thick.
"Ginny, I'm so sorry. I can't believe…. How could I do this to you? To Lily?" She could feel his face wet on her neck, his arms around her. It hurt, all parts of her body, hurt, but she wrapped her arms around him and held on tighter.
"You're just going through a rough time, Harry. We'll get through this."
He set her down on their bed, and she nearly cried at the chill from his absence.
"I can't… being here, every day… Not doing anything… I just can't… I'm so sorry, Ginny."
She grabbed his hand, pulling him back to her, and he sank to his knees in front of her, head in her lap. She could feel his tears dampening her flannel pants, and tears began to form in her own eyes again.
"Then I'll stay home. You go back and be an Auror again."
"But your job-"
"I don't need it."
"But fighting again… You'll worry. God, Ginny, I can't believe this is happening. How could I do this to you?"
Ginny placed her fingers to his mouth, and then replaced them with her lips.
"I need you with me, Harry. Whatever it takes to help you, to fix you. You're all I need."
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