Whispering Solitude: Chapter 1
You can read this without reading my first fic: Run, first, but it might not make as much sense. Just give it a try and see what you think.
Losing it all
Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim?
No matter what you say,
It don't take away the pain
That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind
I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know
There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists
The morning glare spread itself out in the dull empty room. It's rays falling upon the small oak desk, pictureless and gray. It fell on the dusty floor and the blank light that hung from the ceiling. Finally the rays hit the lone figure lying on the bed, awake. Sleep was a dream itself for the figure lying down, eyes wide open to the world around him. Sleep was non-existent. The glare pieced his eyes and tiny tears of frustration crept up to spill out onto his unwelcoming cheeks. Breathing heavily he looked across the room and out the window.
Another day…The curtain blew inward from a small breeze that flew over onto his face.
How did I make it this far…A tiny petal flew in from the window. It's pink colour and fragrance seeming to be the only bright thing in the room. A certain radiance flew from it, glowing, almost it seemed. It landed next to him.
Without you?
He slowly took the petal in his hand and caressed it between his fingers. Feeling the softness as something forgotten. Forgotten to his mind, to his heart, like a winter that never came. He searched his mind for the answer, for the memory, a long summer full of pink petals and small longing breezes.
How long has it been…I lost count of the moments we shared
Silence was so deep that it would have consumed him mind, body and soul if not for the loud knock that thundered on his door.
But your right here aren't you? You're here and you're watching me, watching me for all my faults…
" Hey…Squall are you awake yet? Listen I'm going out today so you'll be alone for a while…okay…I'll see you later then"
He waited. Waited for the clinking of keys and screech of door handle opening in the lounge room and the click that sounded the door locking into place. These sounds that told him he was alone in the house.
Alone in the world it seems
Slowly he rose from his position to look out the window and upon the flower field he called his own. With each tiny petal that flew with the wind, a memory flew by, slowly becoming lost in the cloud of beauty. So sudden did the petal's beauty become lost him.
All the wonder they once shared and all the delight, lost forever in his darkness. Lost in the streams of thoughts that tortured his mind daily. Those days that once were, lost just like the rest. He failed and his punishment was to lose it all.
He exited the room, full of darkness, despite the sun that glittered inside and the beauty hanging out of the window. He walked into the lounge room. The yellow sofa that had been his home for quite some time now was empty and inviting. It had once been a vibrant yellow. Selphie had chosen it herself. But over time it lost its vibrance and became just an ordinary yellow couch. He slumped down onto it. Not caring for the pain that ripped his insides, screaming to be fed.
Tiredness showed on his features. He hadn't slept for…how long? Days? No…weeks. Sleep was a jail, to him, a jail that gave you sweet innocent dreams to cover up the misery that life brings. No, he had no desire to fall prey to those dreams. So he made up his mind. No sleep. But sleep would eventually come because the body can't stay alive without sleep. You eventually collapse and sleep for so long people consider as dead but breathing. Sleep would come…it would. It was in the silence that he noticed the smallest sounds of the lounge room and kitchen. The constant click of the clock. The humming from the computer on the desk. The bubbling of the made up coffee on the bench.
Small sounds to anyone else, but loud, noisy and irritating to him.
~Click~
Selphie quietly and slowly made her way into the lounge room. To see Squall lying on the couch, awake and unhearing was nothing new, but it still troubled the young SeeD. She placed her bag down on ground and walked over to him. He didn't seem to notice her so she sat down on the side couch on his right.
" You can't keep doing this Squall"
He noticed her and sat up. Unnerved he sat up right and stared blankly ahead. Selphie fidgeted in her seat and tried to put on a brave face.
"Why not?"
She spoke softly as to try warm him; it was her job for Hyne's sake!
" Because you're killing yourself that's why. You don't sleep you hardly eat and the only time you ever leave the house is if Cid calls you to his office to sign some stupid papers…"
He saw the worry in her face and voice. He tried to make her feel…sure about herself and about him. He smiled weakly and stood up.
" I'll be in my room"
I know you will be…. She thought, you always are
Her short brown curls bounced on her shoulders as she made her way to the kitchen. Pouring a cup of coffee, she added the desired amount of milk and sat back down on the couch, turning on the T.V.
Do you want an exercise routine that won't tire you out and works you upper body to its full potential?
No
This Saturday join us for the emotional reunion right here on channel 6
Not enough of those around here
Come! Come! Joint the fun! It's laughter and excitement here everyday with Barney! Everyone's favorite dinosaur!
Downright scary…
Yesterday fires ripped through central Timber completely destroying the new pet store near West Street. Mr. Brown is here to give us the full report
Too sad
She flicked the T.V off and came to the conclusion that there really was nothing on worthy for her to watch. Lance and Quistis would be home soon. That was entertaining enough. She enjoyed Lance's talks about his 'discoveries'. Like when he went to an ice cream shop and was taught how ice cream was made. Hysterical that was.
Lance, Quistis, Herself, Irvine, Zell, Zina and Squall had been living in the four bedroom house for over a month now. Lance and Quistis were just beginning to be 'an item' and her and Irvine still was. Zell and Zina had turned down the road of 'just friends'. Squall was…well he was still a bit lost. He needed more breathing space, more time to heal.
It had been 3 months, 3 months since the 'incident' with the Council. 3 months since Rinoa's untimely death.
Selphie hadn't realized how much time had passed. She used to think time flew when you were having fun. How wrong she was.
A feeling picked at her.
Go check on Squall, check to see if he's still alive
Her better judgment kicked in and she lifted herself off the couch and walked down the hallway to his room.
~Knock~ ~Knock~
" Hey Squall you there I need to talk to ya"
No answer.
" Squall…please"
The door opened and Squall appeared. She breathed a sigh of relief and tried to put her plan to action, a plan she thought of today while she and Irvine were repacking the supplies in the Garden.
" Wanna come with me to Balamb? I'm gonna go down the beach and…well that's it just go down the beach. You wanna come? It'll be fun I promise. We wont go for a swim cos it's too cold but…it'll be fun. Come on please!" Ok so it wasn't really a plan but she had been thinking of what to say all day.
Her expectation were a "No I don't feel like it" Or just a plain shake of his head and a blank look…but he shocked her.
" Yeah sure Sephy…just let me get my coat"
He went back into his room giving Selphie time to recoil the turn of events.
He said yes…he's going to go the beach with me. He going to go outside…near crowds and actually do something…way to go Selphie! Woo-hoo!
She inwardly beamed and grabbed her keys. Passing by the kitchen she turned off the coffee maker and left a note for Lance and Quistis.
~ Hey guys Squall and I are going down to the beach for a while, we'll be back this arvo. Make sure you feed Macho at 12:30 ok?
Booyaka! Selphie ~
She pinned the letter up on the fridge and smiled at her brilliant letter. It wasn't too often she got to write the 'going out letters' Irvine usually did them. Macho was Irvine's pet Rabbit. She bought it for him for his 18th. It was for obvious reasons he named it 'Macho'.
Squall walked into the living room. " Ok ready?"
Author's Note: Woo-hoo! The sequel! I was just sooo desperate to post this! I hope you all like it! Pleas leave a review!
Toodles!