Why, God, Why?
Dear Lord in Heaven, how could you do this to me?
Haven't I suffered enough for one lifetime? You put me on this Earth in a time when a woman was expected to be a brainless bit of fluff, yet gave me an intellect superior to many men. You took away the one thing I truly cared about, my beautiful Christina, and thwarted my attempt to regain her. You gave me the means to escape in a bronze time machine, yet when I awoke I discovered that mankind had not changed appreciably.
When I met Myka Bering, I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had finally done something right. To be fair, I was so bitter at the world you had created and let grow that I couldn't fully appreciate just how precious she was until it was too late. Thank you, by the way, for making me finally listen to her, for giving me a chance to begin to atone for my past sins. Even if I was literally only with her in spirit, it was more than I had a right to expect. I should have known better; you never let anyone off that easily.
That horrid astrolabe was a particularly dirty trick. I'm not saying that I would rather be dead, but I must ask why you backed me into that corner in the first place. Were you trying to make a point? If so, what? Why, once the astrolabe was used, couldn't I have stayed with her? What do you have against seeing me happy?
I thought, when I met Nate, that maybe you had finally taken pity on me. But no. Instead, you brought her back into my life, rather spectacularly might I add, and I realized that you had just been toying with me. Did you enjoy our good-byes after that mission? Was there enough angst for you?
Given recent events, I'm forced to conclude that the answer to that last question was "No". Your lovely kick reminded me that I'm only fit for the Warehouse. I had hope, though; maybe, just maybe, I could be good enough for her. But you weren't finished yet, were you?
I'm back at the Warehouse, which is where you seem to think I belong. Fine. But why, God, why did you have to pull me back into the middle of this? Why did you have to do this to Myka? Dear, sweet Myka, who has suffered more than enough in her life. Why did you have to give her cancer?
I suppose that I should thank you, in a way. After all, you didn't have to bring her back into my life. I could have gone on playing at being a happy family and being quietly miserable, and not knowing what had happened until after she died. But you didn't. And I have to wonder why. Why me? Why her? What is so special about us that you feel this need to meddle in our lives like this?
Well guess what, Lord. I'm staying with her. Together, we will get through this. Because even after all that you have done, I can't stop loving her.
Author's Note: The inspiration for this fic was the song "Why, God, Why?" from the musical "Miss Saigon".