'An Irish Goodbye'

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Summary: A series of perspectives on the departure of Mike Logan, the arrest of Colin Ledger, and the changes in the Major Case Squad at the end of Season 7.

Spoiler alerts for seasons 6 and 7, along with allusions to season 8. Set after 'Last Rites' and shortly before 'Rock Star'.

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Logan

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Logan had considered not saying goodbye to his partner. The captain could probably tell her of his resignation with his usual emphasis on compassion and professionalism. It would be a shock, but she would probably get over it faster.

However, on his way to visit Father Shea in the hospital, Ross had called him and broke the news of Colin Ledger's arrest. Avoiding his partner was suddenly no longer an option for him. It wouldn't decent to walk out on Megan after she had witnessed the feds hauling away her fiancée at the airport.

When he got back to the squad room, Wheeler was sitting at her desk and staring blankly into space. A closer observation on his part spotted the red splotches on her cheeks and the tracks in her make-up left by tears. Logan felt a twinge of guilt once again.

"Want to grab a drink, Wheeler?"

She didn't look up at his question. "No, not tonight."

He stood awkwardly beside his desk, looking over the finished paperwork for the case and for his personnel file. It was strange to think that he was leaving all the late nights, crappy coffee, and unending paperwork behind him. "Please?"

His partner shook her head resolutely.

He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Hey."

Megan finally looked at him in the eye. Without a word, Logan pulled out his badge, took his gun out of its holster, and laid the two items on his desk. Her eyes followed his movements until she could clearly see the heading of the paperwork.

"You're quitting?"

Those distant eyes now filled with tears, magnifying his guilt. "Can I buy you a drink, please?"

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They went to Hartigan's, a nearby place frequented by the employees of One Police Plaza. It was usually a rowdy scene, but tonight it was almost deserted. The bartender nodded to them and promptly poured the two shots Logan ordered.

Wheeler hadn't spoken to him on the walk over to the bar. She looked preoccupied as she took a sip of the whiskey, pulling a face at the bitter taste.

Logan realized he would have to bridge that chasm of silence and hurt. "Look, I'm so sorry about your fiancée," he offered lamely.

"Don't," Wheeler ordered. "Please, I don't want to--"

"Fine. I won't."

She sipped her drink and made another wry face at the taste. "I'm not really used to you being considerate."

Logan gave her a small smile. "Well, today's been rough. I'm worn out."

Megan chuckled quietly. "You always did have a talent for understatement."

"Did?"

"You're leaving," she replied. "Past tense suddenly applies."

There was an uncomfortable silence at her answer. Wheeler fiddled with the napkin in front of her, and Logan flagged the bartender for another shot. He was suddenly very glad that they were in bar.

"Can I ask why you're leaving?"

"It's not because of you," he responded quickly, looking at her seriously.

She nodded. "I know. But right now?"

Logan closed his eyes with a wince. "I know, I know. Terrible timing."

"You couldn't anticipate going head to head with Terri Driver," Wheeler replied. "I certainly didn't think Colin would be arrested for money laundering, of all things."

"I'm--" Logan reflexively began to apologize but thought better of it. "I could have prevented this."

She snorted. "You did the right thing, going to the press."

Mike shook his head. "I should have left that damn ADA alone. She tipped off the feds about him because I publicized the case. Vindictive bitch."

"You'd really have me marry a crook?" Megan asked, a small smile flitting across her face. "Very sensible of you."

He didn't answer. It was good to know she still had some of her sharp humor and could still smile. Their partnership had been a detached affair, personally, but he had liked her occasional sarcastic quips and little smirks. Those qualities gave her some independence from Ross and his dry approach, in his mind.

"I guess all of this is for the best, then," she continued.

He took another drink. "I talked to Father Shea this afternoon. Somehow, he made it sound much more noble-- giving up a career in public service for my own sanity."

She nodded. He continued, wanting to try and offer some explanation on his decision. "When you work in this job long enough, you feel like you've seen it all. Then, it comes back at you and sucker punches you in the gut."

"You have to get out," Wheeler replied, unwittingly mimicking the advice Logan had been given earlier.

"Yeah, I guess. I just wish..." He paused looked at her and then down at the bar again. "I wish I could make it easier for you."

Megan put her hand over his, and Mike could see the tears threatening to spill over again. "That means a lot to me, Mike."

"You're welcome."

She dug into her pocket and fished out her keys. "I'd better get going. You need a ride?"

He looked at her glass and realized she'd barely touched the drink. "I'll catch a cab."

"All right, then." Wheeler turned to walk away.

"Take care of yourself, Megan."

She paused in the doorway, a tear coursing down her cheek. "Same to you, Mike."

Logan raised his glass in a silent salute to his partner who gave him a watery laugh. Then, she was gone.

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An hour later, Mike dropped a few bills on the bar to cover the tab and tip before heading out. The air outside was chilly, giving fair warning of the advancing autumn and winter winds. He pulled his leather jacket closer to him and took a deep breath. The cheap alcohol coursed through his system and made him feel slightly dizzy.

The street in front of him was still pulsing with traffic, reminding him of getting home and sleeping. Maybe now he could catch up on the years of sleep he missed on the force. The thought made him grin. Suddenly, life outside the NYPD seemed to have some guilty pleasures.

Logan took one last look at One Police Plaza, its lights glowing in the dark, and walked into the night.

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Author's Note: An "Irish goodbye" is when a person slips out of a social engagement and neglects to say his or her goodbyes. Since Logan left in an understated manner, I thought the title was appropriate.