Behind the Scenes of Gundam Wing
Day One of Shooting…oh the horror!
Wufei: What? I'm Chinese? I'm not Chinese! I've never even been to China!
Quatre: Welcome to the club, I'm not Arabian.
Trowa: *points to his script and says in a heavy French accent* What this word mean? *gets out his French-English dictionary and looks it up*
Duo: *turns to Treize who is the director* Why did they even audition people who weren't even the nationality of the characters in the script? Now we'll have to change the script.
Treize: No, I'm the director and we'll just have to use lots of makeup on Wufei and teach Trowa how to speak with an English accent.
Trowa: I don't understand this word.
Heero: *reading his script in the corner* NO! I can't kill her! I hope she doesn't die!
Relena: *Walks in*
Heero: *runs up to her and hugs her leg* I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that to you please forgive me! I promise I won't ever try to kill you again!
Duo: *turns to Quatre* I guess he hasn't finished reading the script. Should we break the news to him?
Quatre: I'm afraid of what he might do if we told him.
Duo: Good point.
Treize: Okay people, listen up. We shoot the first scene in half an hour.
*Later*
Heero: *walks over to Quatre*
Heero: Quatre?
Quatre: What?
Heero: How do you get girls?
Quatre: What do you mean?
Heero: What should you do if you like a girl?
Quatre: Well you tell her how you feel.
Heero: So you think I should tell Relena how I feel about her.
Quatre: You like Relena?
Heero: *nods shyly*
Quatre: Come on, there are better girls out there other than Relena! I mean why not Dorothy?
Heero: She's schizophrenic.
Quatre: So?
Heero: I just don't think so.
Quatre: Noin?
Heero: She's a little weird, Dontcha think?
Quatre: *looks over at Noin who is talking to herself and writing in a notebook*
Quatre: Yeah okay, I'm with ya there. But Lady Une seems nice.
Heero: She likes Treize.
Quatre: *glances over at Relena making out with Zechs*
Quatre: Well then by all means, tell her how you feel!
Quatre: *can't help but feel that his fellow cast member is a little strange himself*
Heero: Do you really think I should interrupt her and Mr. Marquise?
Quatre: It's Zechs and yes, please interrupt them. They're making me sick.
Heero: Wish me luck.
Quatre: *under his breath* Wish yourself luck.
*still later*
Heero: So I don't get to pilot a Gundam?
Treize: No that will all be computer generated. All you get to do is sit in this seat and pretend you are piloting a Gundam. Your body will be cut and pasted into the computer and it will only look like you are piloting a Gundam.
Heero: Well screw this! The only reason I tried out for this part was so that I could pilot the Gundam. I quit!
Heero: *walks out trying to wipe his tears on his sleeve*
Treize: *yells after him* What about the contract?
Heero: *long gone*
Treize: *talks into a Walkie Talkie* Get me the Heero understudy.
Zechs: *over Walkie Talkie* Are you sure you want him? I mean he almost killed you in the audition.
Treize: right now he's all we got.
*after the real Heero arrives*
Trowa: excuse me?
Heero: *Death Glare*
Trowa: *tries in French* perdon?
Heero: *to himself* gaigin ola. ßJapanese for, it's a foreigner.
Trowa: *blink* hola?
Heero: hola.
Trowa: *continues on in Spanish*
Heero: *replies in Spanish*
Duo: I thought the new Heero only spoke Japanese and that Trowa only spoke French?
Quatre: Me too but it seems that they both know Spanish.
Duo: *shrugs*
Relena: *walks in* Where is my bottled water? I told you before that I wanted bottled water waiting for me when I walked in the door.
Duo: Why don't you just go buy some yourself?
Relena: Excuse me? You people here are so rude! I don't' know why I put up with it.
Zechs: *walks in and his eyes are glazed over and he is having a hard time focusing on things*
Relena: *runs over to him, throws her pink feather boa over his shoulders and kisses him*
Treize: *under his breath* That's why.
Treize: *walks over to Zechs and Relena* Zechs, are you stoned…again?
Zechs: *Staring off in to space* What man?
Treize: This is the third time! I told you at the audition that if you didn't clean up your act you were getting kicked out of this job.
Relena: You can't fire him!
Treize: I'm the director; I can do whatever I want.
Duo: *to Quatre* 50 bucks on Treize.
Quatre: You're on.
Relena: No because if you could fire him you would have done so by now. He's the only one you can get to play this part that's hot enough.
Duo: Ouch! That hurt.
Quatre: Looks like I'm winning. 1 point for Relena.
Treize: That's not true.
Relena: Oh right, you're still jealous because you didn't get his part like you wanted.
Quatre: 2 points for Relena.
Treize: 30 minutes for everyone. I'll be in my trailer and Kami help you if you disturb me!
Quatre: *smiling happily* I win!
Duo: *forks over 20 bucks*
Quatre: I believe you owe me 30 more.
Duo: Well that's all I have right now. I'll pay you the rest later.
Quatre: *eyes turn an evil shade of red*
Duo: Dude, are you okay?
Quatre: *starts foaming at the mouth*
Duo: I hope you're just practicing for your ZERO insane thingy scenes.
Quatre: *begins to advance toward Duo*
Duo: Eep! *Starts to run in opposite direction* I now know why you were cast as Quatre!! *Looks back as he's running* You do the whole ZERO thing perfect!
Quatre: *still foaming and running*
Duo: *trying to not get eaten…or whatever* So you want to go get a beer after the shoot? My treat!
Quatre: *stops foaming* Sure.
And so ends the fateful first day of shooting. What will happen in the dreaded days to come…