Disclaimer/Notes: Any and all characters of Naruto do not belong to me. They are the brainchild of Masashi Kishimoto and solely his. I allege no possession of said characters. (What a shame.) I do, however, own Akimoto Hitoshi, though, he's barely mentioned. This story is not only AU, but, it contains an briefly alluded to OC. And, because it will be commented on, I am aware at how OOC Sasuke will seem, but, if you were faced with a tragedy that plagued you, I'm sure you'd be a tad off-kilter when it came to mention aspects of that tragedy. You may flame if you wish; I won't mind (i.e., I will ignore it. :P). Please enjoy. Grazie. :D
Forever, we must face those obstacles that scare us most; the ones that shatter our very being to the core. Hopefully, when that time comes upon us, we will be graced with the presence of another. And, if that is truly the case, than one is blessed. In instances when the heart years for comfort, it can only desire a response.
Dost thou love life [and love]? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life [and love] is made of.
- Benjamin Franklin
―
Commiseration
―
As they sat together in companionable silence, they watched the ever-rising moon shift over the darkening sky. The bed was a tad small―slightly cramped, for the lack of a better term―but, they wouldn't have had it any other way. Their feet brushed occasionally by the end of the single-sized cot while their bodies were pressed against one another; the heat would've seemed unbearable, but, they enjoyed each other's presence and, thus, were not put off by the humidity. The opened window allowed the glossy, brilliant light of the moon to shine in the hardly-lit room; the billowing curtains shifting with the warming breeze that passed. Navy walls were plastered with band posters and photos of glowing sunrises and fading sunsets―a hobby of the ebony-haired man.
The apartment was on the outskirts of the bustling town, just as they liked it, yet, it was near the college they both attended―he for architecture, the other for photography. They had known each other since practically diaper-hood and, as such, they knew each intimate secret that the other held. From first crushes to first jobs, messy breakups and outrageous screw ups―all was unveiled over time and now, was considered common knowledge. Nothing was sacred―the way they preferred things.
As crickets chirped and Hayley Westenra's Dark Waltz played lowly in the background, their elbows nudged one another's and, with the soft touch of a fingertip, two heads turned.
Cerulean met onyx and the pair shared a curiously knowing glance. The young man could sense that his friend was moments away from unleashing some sort of "advice" and, though he dreaded it dearly, he knew that it was most likely something important.
"Dobe, can I ask you a something personal?" came the gingerly asked question.
Snorting, he sarcastically scoffed, "When have you ever asked me a personal question, Teme?"
Laughing lightly, Sasuke nodded, "True." The young man playfully slugged Naruto in the shoulder, his thin arm paling in comparison to the other man's wiry muscles. Feigning injury, the azure-eyed man winced and rolled, taking the smaller frame underneath him for a brief moment before he surfaced, gasping for air.
"Ei, Dobe!" he cried. Giggling at his antics, the raven righted himself, his gaze becoming serious.
"Gomen, imôto," he replied.
"I'm not so young anymore, Naruto," he commented offhandedly, his voice becoming calmer and more tender.
"I know..." Though Naruto was only three years older than the photographer, he, from the day that the two had met, was filled with the need to protect the sable-haired boy. He was petite, unlike the other boys he knew, but, for some reason, he had an underlying feeling that he wanted to watch over him.
"So, what was it anyway, Sasuke-teme?"
"Mou," he pouted at the nickname. However, the raven brushed it off and continued, "Oh, right." The young man in question shifted as to sit cross-legged on the rumpled sheets; the passing wind blowing his inky hair from his face.
"Well, I was just wondering, that guy―the one from yesterday―who is he?"
The fox thought back to the prior day after he had met up with Sasuke in front of the college's grounds. Suddenly, his eyes widened in realization at just who he was talking about.
Sputtering, the blonde shot back, "No one!" If Sasuke knew that he was flunking his PoliSci 202 class, the raven would do one of two things: beat the living snot out of him, or, on a worst-case scenario, kick him out of their shared apartment. Hence, Naruto had enlisted the help of one of his fellow students, Akimoto Hitoshi, a brainiac who held a 4.0 GPA, to assist him before midterms. If nothing else, the fox wanted to be able to pass with the minimum 2.0 so his beloved friend wouldn't harm him.
"Dobe, you can tell me. It's not good to lie." Sasuke grinned while poking the blonde's cheek.
Feeling suffocated and cornered, Naruto rose abruptly from the bed and over to the somewhat old-looking record player―the fox liked to call it a phonograph because it made it feel like he was talking about an ancient artifact―atop the worn-down desk. Yes, he still loved albums and the scratchy, somewhat static-y, noise they made when played. Luciano Pavarotti's full tenor sang, his rendition of Nessun Dorma flowing like thick cream over the room.
"I'm not lying," he timidly spoke. He busied himself by flipping though one of Sasuke's photo albums; a worn, but, obviously loved treasury containing old, fading pictures of his family―his dark-haired mother and rugged-looking father standing arm-in-arm, their son in a milky-white dress shirt smiling widely for the photographs.
"Hmm... Why don't I believe you?" Sasuke murmured from his position on the bed's edge.
Refusing to acknowledge him, Naruto continued to leaf through the photos, one after another, capturing snippets of Sasuke's old life―soaring, green hills, brown-brick homes mashed together, small placid lakes and quaint, stone paths made up his hometown of Hattoji.
"Do you miss it?" he inquired.
Taken aback, Sasuke replied, "Yes, but, don't change the subject."
"I'm not," he shot back.
"Oh yes, yes you are. So, who is he?"
Man, what's the deal? Why can't he let it go?
"No one."
"Yes, he was, Naruto. I saw the way he looked at you. It reminds of how Daichi and Keiko would stare at each other in the most obvious way." When he didn't comment, he added, "Two years later, he proposed."
"Pft, Sasuke-teme; you're such a dreamer!" That guy was "looking" at me? He mentally cringed. Hitoshi was an okay guy, but, looking? That was just weird.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Whatever. Are you going to the festival tomorrow?" The raven tried to distract his friend in hopes of "loosening his lips."
"Yeah. I'm excited for all those street vendors," Naruto exclaimed excitedly.
"You love food, huh?"
"Of course."
"Really love it?"
"Uh, yeah."
"What's your favorite kind?"
"Um, ramen I guess."
"What kind?"
"Beef." He was beginning to drool now.
"With tons of noodles?"
"Yes." Really drooling.
"And warm broth?"
"Yes."
"Is food all you think about?" Food... yummy.
"No. Sometimes I think about other things."
"What's his name?"
"Akimoto Hitoshi."
"Got you!" the raven triumphantly shouted.
"Crap!" He was embarrassed that the subject of food had swayed his mind so easily. "Ooh... Teme," he jokingly seethed.
"What?" Sasuke proceeded to whip out the oh so innocent voice.
"...That was mean."
Yo-Yo Ma's Libertango rang with a Spanish-French tone in the now-quite apartment; the cello's deep, resonating timbre echoing yet contrasting with the playful, flirty quips of the accordion.
"Gomen, Naruto."
"Humph."
"So... Akimoto Hitoshi, eh? He was nice looking."
The fox whispered in mock paranoia, "Sometimes... I think you're more evil and conniving that you lead on." Sasuke only laughed.
"Why don't you ask him to lunch?" he offered.
"Sasuke, I don't really know him that much." Well, besides tutoring, I guess I really don't know him that much. "Wouldn't it be odd?"
Thinking quickly, he then said, "Not really. You're cute, Naruto, and I think he'd like lunch." Realizing he'd subconsciously complimented the blonde, a soft dusting of pink powered his pale cheeks.
The cerulean-eyed man shook his head―though, he was taken aback at the "cute" comment―and watched the album spin in time with the music. Sure, Akimoto Hitoshi was friendly and helpful, but, he was nothing compared to another man Naruto often thought of.
"Mou, I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"It would just be weird," he retorted.
"Why?"
"It just would, okay."
"Do... Do you like him?" the raven timidly inquired.
Shocked, Naruto turned to face the suddenly demure boy, his brows furrowed in confusion. "Like him? I don't know what you're talking about."
"I mean, I would understand," he began to ramble, nervous. Secretly―even secretly to the point that Naruto didn't know―Sasuke, though strong outwardly, was afraid of losing those close to him. From a long ago tragedy stemmed an obsession concerning his case necrophobia, in the sense that he greatly feared the death of his loved ones.
"Are you crazy?" Naruto snapped. It was outrageous that for Sasuke to think something like that; didn't he know that Naruto would never think of anyone else in that manner?
"It's plausible."
"Hardly."
"Why not?"
"Well, for starters," he counted off on his fingers, "I don't really even know the guy that well and secondly, I'm not quite ready for dating. I haven't found the right one yet."
"Dobe, if you're ever going to fall in love―or even meet someone nice―you better get a move on. People just don't wait around for you to get your act together. Things happen and people get on with their lives. Quit screwing around!"
Flabbergasted by his outburst, Naruto was caught off-guard. The raven was sitting up on his knees, his legs gone and disappeared in the white sheets. His onyx eyes were aflame with determination and his hands were balled in fists by his chest. It was bizarre for Sasuke to talk in a tone like that, but, Naruto was more alarmed by the sudden trepidation that seemed to plague him. He was about to open his mouth when he caught the sight of his friend.
Sasuke's sorrowful and faraway gaze shocked Naruto into submission. He was staring out the window now, watching the glowing orb that was the moon and the glittering dots, the stars, as they danced in unison, unaware of the troubled minds below.
"Sa-... Sasuke?"
A delicately resounding duet filled the suffocating room, the gentle piano's tings sounding small (at some points) and graceful―like an ocean's wave; the accompanying violin nearly whispering like that of a soft wind through a willow's branches. Together, the picture of a silent, placid, and serene oceanside came into view.
"Don't let him get away, Naruto; the best ones do. You can never be sure when the last time you see somebody will be."
He knew, now, that he wasn't talking about Hitoshi anymore.
"You think that, when you see their smiling face, they'll be there forever. That, even though you have to say goodbye, you can find them again. They touch everyone around them, even you yet, you hug them―kiss them―but you never take that second glance to really tell them. They're always there and, even when you feel lost, you know that they'll be by your side to comfort you. And then, like a blink of an eye, you wake-up and they're gone. All of a sudden, everything you've every realized has changed and the one person you think would've been there until the end... well, he isn't. You hear that he's gone but you chose to ignore it because, the day you leave―they day you're in too much of a hurry to say good bye―that's the day he doesn't come back. Even God decides to pull a fast one on you and take him away."
He was crying now.
"How could God take someone that loved life so much? He was cheerful and wonderful and loving and considerate―he deserved to live! There were so many other people in the word who want to go, but, no―! It had to be him!"
Scooping the raven into his arms, Naruto rocked him back and forth as he unleashed nineteen years of pent-up frustration and sorrow. The sable-haired boy sobbed until his cries became nothing more than dry heaves.
"Sasuke," he breathed.
Now, he knew that the young man was crying for his lost older brother.
"It's not fair... w-why should something like that h-happen...?"
"I know it wasn't fair," he cooed gently. "You can't keep feeling guilt for something that wasn't your fault and, even if it feels like you had to say goodbye, you know that it's not really forever. Eventually, we will all meet up again. Together, we'll find one another―maybe in a sprawling field or by the beach, the sun shining down on us―and we'll laugh about all the crazy, fun times we had. You'll see Itachi-senpai again as I will see my parents too.
"This is just one stop for us before we all move on to the next stage of our lives. It isn't over after we've left; no, it's just like an extended vacation while we all wait for our family and friends to join us. So please, please don't blame yourself for the accident; you weren't even there so there's no way that it could be your fault. It was a drunk driver on a rainy night."
They sat together for nearly fifteen minutes before Sasuke's sobs quieted completely, save for a few sniffles. The sable-haired boy wrapped his arms snugly around the other boy's waist as he laid his head in the hallow of Naruto's collarbone.
"You think," he breathed, "that I'll see him again."
Smiling widely―with thus caused his eyes to close―the fox tilted his head to the side before nodding. "Yep."
"Arigatou," Sasuke sighed in a mixture of relief and content.
"No problem," Naruto replied, his hand coming to caress the smaller boy's spine. At any point in his life, the blonde had never pictured himself tangled up with his closest friend in a rather intimate position. But, now that that moment had occurred, he found that it was as odd or awkward as he thought I would have been. In fact, he enjoyed the sensations that came with cradling the raven. He wasn't homophobic by any means, but, if you had told Naruto that, in a few years, he would begin harboring feelings toward Sasuke, he would have laughed. Now, he knew that the newfound pattering of his heart was due to the presence of his friend. However, he realized after taking in Sasuke's ragged and recently frazzled state, that topic would have to wait for another conversation. For now, he was content with just holding onto the other boy.
After a few prolonged moments of silence, the raven spoke up nearly chirping, "So, what about that other guy and, if I may add, what's the deal with your PoliSci grade?"
Bringing one hand to scratch absentmindedly at the back of his head, Naruto sheepishly smiled, "Haha, about that..."
I guess it was a matter of time, he groaned. But, I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.
Please drop a review (flame, constructive criticism, etc.) if you have the time. Grazie.
Dedication: To my dearest friend Christopher Robin Odle. You were a kind, loving, wonderful young man who was taken away from us at such an early time in your life. I love you, Mr. Oodle and I hope that you are happy where you are as you watch us. We released balloons in your honor (red of course!:P). You will be missed greatly by all you left behind. Thank you for teaching us how to live life to its fullest and how to smile no matter what you face. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally and how to fully take in all of life's splendors. I can't say goodbye so, I guess I'll say, "See you later, Oodle. Until we meet again." :)