Hana remembers when her Daddy seemed so tall to her, taller than even the glittering buildings that reached the sky, and filled the city. When she rode in his arms, the ground seemed a million miles below. She had to hang on to him tight, because she was afraid of falling. Hana remembers when her Daddy spun her around until she was so dizzy that tears slid down her cheeks. Then he would hold her until the world stopped spinning, and Hana begged him to spin her around all over again. Sometimes, when Hana was waiting for the world to slow down, she would look up at her Daddy's face, the only thing that wasn't a blur. He would always smile at her, but Hana could see sadness in his face. Sadness plain in his bright blue eyes, and sadness written in the lines around his mouth that should have marked happiness, not pain.
XXX
"Please don't go!" Hana remembers hurling herself at her father, almost knocking him over as she sobs into his waist, begging, pleading, not wanting him to leave. Her mother hangs back, uncertain and disapproving, but still quiet, beautiful, the perfect wife. But Hana is not like her mother. Hana can not be silent. And she doesn't want her Daddy to go. She is too young to really understand, but she can tell that wherever he goes, whatever he does, it only makes him worse. He smiles less and less these days. Hana fears she is losing her father. Her father strokes her hair, and lifts her up, even though he sometimes complains she is getting too big for that. His sky blue eyes searched her face, looking for something that is not there. Whoever it is her father wants, Hana cannot be that person. She throws her arms around his neck, tears falling down her cheeks. He hugs her back, and Hana thinks that maybe everything will be okay. But the guns strapped to her father's back do not disappear. They stay there, no matter how much Hana cries, no matter how many time she hides them, or tries to throw them away. In the end, her father always finds them. And all too soon he puts Hana back on the ground, and walks out the door, the wind tugging at his white coat. Hana's mother puts an arm around Hana's shoulders, and Hana knows the two of them want to same thing. They want the man they love to love them back.
XXX
"Say hello to your Grandfather Hana." Her mother speaks now, in the hospital, but it never makes any sense. Hana looks up from the flower she is drawing, and turns to face the man who sits down next to her. Son is shocked by how much his niece already looks like her father. Cool hazel eyes meet sad brown ones. Hana knows this man is not her grandfather, even though he looks much like her mother. Still, she cannot disobey her mother.
"Hello Grandfather." She says dully before turning her attention back to her coloring book. Her mother says something else, but Hana does not care. All she can think about is how everyone has sad eyes; Mama, Daddy and now this new man. She wonders if her eyes will end up like that. Sad and empty.
The flower she was coloring for her mother slowly turns into a bouquet of eyes, all very, very sad.
XXX
Hana is jumping rope in the park. It is nighttime, but not late. The sun has just set. Her mother no longer lives with them, she lives at the hospital now. 'Your mother is very sick.' Her father tells her. 'Your mother is going to die.' This means nothing to Hana. She lives in Mallepa, where death is as common as the rain. The jump rope tangles around Hana's legs, and she falls to the ground, skinning her elbow. Hana presses her lips together in pain, but does not cry; she long ago realized crying was pointless, and tries not to anymore.
"Try again." Someone crouches down next to Hana, and she sits up quickly, eyes narrowing, ready to run, ready to fight, ready to hide. He looks friendly, but the first thing Hana notices are his eyes. Sad eyes. Sad green eyes that seem to turn grey. Much like her own. Hana smiles at him, her instincts telling her she can trust him. She allows herself to be pulled up off the ground, her skinned elbow forgotten. She listens as he tells her how to swing the rope so it doesn't tangle around her legs. Soon, she is willing to try again.
"I'm Hana." She says, sticking out a hand for him to shake and grinning like an imp. She is happy. This new man makes her happy.
He smiles back, and shakes her hand politely. "I'm..." But he trails off, and his face becomes blank as something behind Hana catches his attention. Hana turns. Her father is walking slowly over, cotton candy in hand. He looks up, and sees Hana with her new friend. Hana gets a strange feeling in her stomach, and she quickly looks at the ground as her new friend smiles carefully at her father. She can plainly read the look in her father's eyes that appeared when he saw her new friend, and it is not a look Hana usually sees on her father's face or in his eyes. It's love.
XXX
They are arguing now. Kei and her father. The argue much of the time, most of the time actually. Hana thought that maybe Kei would cheer her father up, since her father was so happy to see Kei. But all they did was argue. Hana sighed, and looked out at the rain, hugging her faded doll close. She wants to block her ears, so that she can no longer hear them fighting, but no matter what she does, she still can. And Hana knows that it's because the fighting isn't just in the next room over. It's also echoed and etched in her heart. She pulled the blankets over her head, and curls up on the bed, eyes burning with unshed tears. She will not cry. She can do that much. She will not cry. Slowly, the tears dry from her eyes, although the hard, heavy feeling in her heart does not.
XXX
The door swings open, and Hana's head jerks up. She has been sitting at the table, sitting up, and waiting for them to come home. Kei enters the room, his shirt soaked with blood. Her father is not with him. Fear shoots through Hana, but she has to be strong. Unlike her mother. Not like her mother. "Where is my father?" She asked in an emotionless tone, a voice much too cold for such a young girl.
"...Dead"
The world spins, just like it did so many years ago, when Hana's father used to fly her through the air. But Hana doesn't collapse on the ground, she doesn't cry, she doesn't scream. She will be strong, unlike her mother. And she will be strong, stronger than her father.
XXX
"Hana, what do you want to do for your ninth birthday?" Kei asked Hana gently as they sat around the kitchen table, the dim overhead light flickering slightly. The two of them moved out of Sho, Yi-Chen and Hana's old apartment just days after the incident, and were now living on a different side of town, in a smaller, homelier apartment. Slowly, Mallepa was becoming safer; it's a better place than it was when Kei was alive. But it was still a dangerous city, a very dangerous city.
Hana's hazel eyes meet Kei's without speaking and Kei sighs. Hana looks a lot like Sho, though she got her mother's pretty black hair, and hazel eyes from who knows where. She's not the happy little girl she was when Kei first met her. Hana possesses her mother's unusual talent for staying silent, although when her temper flared, the results were deadly. She's a slender girl, and tall for her age, with big, slanting eyes. Her black hair is long and usually pulled back into a braid. Ever since that night, she wore black, and still does. The result is an odd, half-woman, half-child who has the manners and appearance of a nun-in-training.
"I don't want to do anything." Hana mutters, looking away from Kei's eyes, which she still thinks are so much like her own.
"But there's got to be something you want to do, like have a birthday party? Or maybe just invite some friends over to-"
"Kei, don't be stupid." Hana cut in flatly. "I don't have any friends. You know that. I can't. Our lifestyle isn't really allowing for things like birthday parties and silly, giggly girls." She twists a strand of hair around her finger and sighs, a slight scowl on her innocent face as she stares blankly at the kitchen wall.
Kei doesn't say anything. What Hana says is true. Because she is being raised by a vampire, her life will not be normal. Hana will be alone more often than not, because her life goes on while he sleeps, and his begins when the sun sets. She will always be an outsider, because of her serious manners and matured personality. Hana knows this, and she could changed it if she wanted to. But she doesn't. She is coolly polite to the girls she meets, nothing more. Hana preferred her own company to that of other's, and seemed happiest when she was drawing. Or dancing. Kei didn't know where her talent for dancing came from. Not from Yi-Chen, and certainly not from Sho. Dancing, it seemed, was a talent solely for Hana. Kei constantly had to remind himself that no matter how much she looked like Sho, or acted like Yi-Chen; Hana was without a doubt her own person.
"Fine then. No party. What do you want to do Hana?"
Hana looks up at Kei, eyes already sad. "I just want to spend time with you. Can't we go see a movie or something stupid like that?" Her eyes are silently begging him, pleading him to go along with this. Kei knows it pains Hana to see all the other girl's and their fathers, walking to school, at the park, in the streets. More than anything, Hana just wants to pretend that Kei is her father. But he's not. And they both know that. And they both know the truth about Sho. It's been a long time since Hana believed her father was dead. But they don't speak of that. They don't speak of the past anymore.
"Yeah, I guess we can do that." Hana flashed Kei a rare but true smile. "And then I'll see if we can sign you up for a dance class or something." Hana's eyes widen slightly, then narrow, and Kei smiled at her. "I know how much you like to dance. Better for you to do it at a studio than here, in this messy apartment."
Hana doesn't hug him, he expects that. She doesn't like touching other people. But she does smile at him again, and her eyes show a brief glimpse of true happiness. "Thank you Kei."
XXX
Hana is eleven now. The years are passing too quickly, or so it seems to Kei. But that's just the way it is with humans. Their lives are over before you can even blink.
"I hate ballet. It's just not my thing!" Hana sits down at the kitchen table and glares at the table, her eyes bright with tears. But she doesn't cry; that's the one thing about Hana, she doesn't cry. At least, Kei has never seen her cry.
"Why is that?" Kei asks, sitting down next to her. He should hunt, he knows that. But...right now, he just has no desire to. It's not like before, when he was with Sho, and Kei would starve himself for long periods of time, not being able to take what he was. Kei wasn't really to the point of liking what he was, but he was to the point of being able to accept what he was.
Hana gave Kei a death stare, her eyes like chips of darkened and mossy amber. Kei tried to give her a small smile, but Hana just rolled her eyes at him and pointedly looked away. To some degree, Kei understand what Hana is getting at. He's seen her at some of her classes. Not only does Hana tower over all the other girls in her class, but she doesn't possess the same delicate gracefulness that the other girls seem to naturally have. That's not to say Hana wasn't graceful. But while all the other girls have neat, controlled movements, Hana's movements always seem to be just held in control, like it was all she could do to hold back the wildness that she was longing to express. "Maybe you just need to give it time. I'm sure once you...um, grow into your height, things will seem better. You just need practice." Kei tried to assure her, but he can't help shake off the feeling that maybe Hana is right. Maybe ballet isn't for her. But then, what else was there?
Hana didn't seem to hear what Kei said as she shook herself out of her thoughts, and slide off the stool. "I'm going to work on my homework." She said softly as she walked towards her room. "You should hunt. It's okay, I don't mind."
"Hana-" Kei cuts off what he was going to say. What is there to say? Hana's pain is obvious, she wears it out in plain sight. But depressingly enough, her pain seems to fit her, seems to sit comfortably on her slender shoulders. Hana was made to wear pain.
XXX
"Your mother was artist too. You know that right?" Hana looks up at Kei, startled. Her black hair is loose, and it's striking against her black fitted shirt and pale skin. There are drawing scattered all around her; some quick sketches, others inked out, and still others looking fully finished, complete with color. She's twelve.
"What?" She asks in English. She's taking English in school and tries to use it whenever possible. It's not required that you take it yet, just strongly recommended.
If he was alive, Kei would have blushed. Hana is perfectly happy with not knowing anything about the past; she makes a point of never asking. She doesn't want to know, that much is obvious. So why did he bring that fact up? Hana will probably be happier not knowing.
Hana frowns. She can sense Kei's reluctance. "Tell me!" She commanded, switching back to Japanese as she came up into a half-standing crouch.
"Your mother was an artist too. A really good one. She was going to go off to art school and everything before...well, before she married your father. You probably got your talent from her. But I thought you knew that." Kei mutters, not meeting Hana's eyes, but looking at her out of the corner of his eyes.
"No...I didn't know that." Hana said quietly as she sits back down on the ground, and stares at the drawings she has completed with a look close to disgust. "Thank you for telling me." She turns her back on him in clear dismissal as she begins to gather the drawings together. "What have I done?" Kei wonders as he slips out of the room.
Two days later, Hana goes outside into the rain, holding a bundle of papers close to her chest. She doesn't try to hide what she's doing and Kei doesn't try to stop her. He smells burning paper, and then smoke. Hana comes back in several minutes later, looking miserable and wet. She doesn't speak to Kei, doesn't look at him, just heads to the bathroom. Kei hears the shower come on, full blast. But there are no sobs, or sniffs. Hana isn't crying. Hana never cries.
Kei heads outside, and walks slowly over to the still smoking trashcan, afraid of what he'll find. Looking down at the wet ashes, he swallows, trying to get rid of the lump that has formed in his throat. All the drawings, ever single one she has ever done, Hana took them all. Ripped them down from her walls, sorted through old homework, tore her room apart, looking for every little drawing, or sketch, or doodle. And then burned them all. If Kei could cry, he would. Reaching into the smoldering ashes, he pulls out a half intact inked sketch of Sho. It looks exactly like him. Hana has a gift. Just like her mother before her; just like Yi-Chen.
But Hana doesn't want anything to do with her parents. She doesn't want to know about them, she doesn't want to be like them, she just doesn't want to have anything to do with them. Ever.
And Hana will do whatever it takes to set herself apart from her parents. Even deny herself a gift she has obviously been blessed with.
Kei gives a half sob, half laugh. Looks like Sho's height isn't the only thing Hana inherited from her father, even though now that she is older, Hana doesn't look as much like Sho as she did when she was younger. No, Hana also got Sho's stubbornness.
XXX
Hana is thirteen years old the first time they see the break-dancers out in the streets. It's a new kind of dancing here in Mallepa. Break-dancing was only recently introduced to the city of gangs and death. But the dancing style spreads quickly, because it is well suited to Mallepa; they are both rough, and urban.
It's a Friday night, and the weather is too beautiful to say inside. The streets are packed with everyone from prostitutes to business men. Kei keeps a close eye on Hana; he knows he's not the only vampire in Mallepa, and he's sure Hana would make the perfect snack for one of them.
Kei doesn't have much money to spend on Hana. It's still hard to find a decent job in Mallepa that also pays well. But Hana doesn't seem to mind. She is content just to window shop, dragging Kei along with her to whichever store attracts her attention. The two of them look less like father and daughter now, not that they ever really did, and look more like a sister and brother going out for the night, enjoying the nice weather just like everyone else.
Kei is amazed by how much Mallepa has changed. The Mallepa he remembers was strictly segregated, with much tension between different nationalities. The Mallepa from Kei's youth also had very few immigrants from outside of Asia; he remembered it was rare to see an American, or someone who was black.
But the Mallepa that Hana is growing up in is very different. Americans already make up more than ten percent of Mallepa's population. English is the third most spoken language. There is less tension between different races, though it would be a stretch to say that it no longer exists. And the influence of Western culture becomes more and more obvious with each passing day.
The crowded streets are loud; music, different languages and conversation all blur together, creating a loud and buzzing hum.
Hana and Kei are walking past an alley when the music starts. There is a heavy beat, and the words are in English. But that's not what draws attention. It's the dancers who make everyone stop and stare. And their dancing.
Kei has never seen anything like it before. The movement, the style, everything about it is intense and strong. This isn't ballet, where the moves are delicate and dainty. This dancing is all about being strong, and letting the wildness in your body take control.
Hana stands next to him, transfixed. Her eyes never leave the dancers; she's taking it all in. Their night out is forgotten. Hana and Kei just stand there, watching, until the dancers finish and start packing up. The crowd begins to drift away, losing interest now that the dancing is over. But Hana stays.
One of the dancers heads over; a boy with long red hair pulled back into a pony-tail. "Saw you watching us." He said, in American-accented Japanese. "You like what we were doing?"
Hana looked at him her guarded eyes. "Yeah, I did." She said cautiously. Kei remained quiet, though he felt the red-head's eyes flicker towards him more than once.
"Are you a dancer too?" The boy drawls out as he looks Hana up and down. Kei realizes the boy is flirting with Hana, and resists the urge to rip the boy's throat out.
Hana looks like she wants to smack the red-head, but she answers him politely enough."Yes and no. I poorly dance ballet." There's a pause, in which Hana takes a deep breath, then says in a rush "I want to learn how to do this kind of dancing! Can you teach me?" Kei smirked slightly at Hana's bluntness. There is no beating around the bush with her.
The boy looks surprised, and it's obvious he wonders if Hana is joking. But she's not. "You serious? You're just a..." He trailed off, not wanting to finish that thought as he ran a hand through his red hair.
"Yes, I am." Hana said coolly. "And don't tell me I can't because I'm a girl." Hana is at least five years younger than the red-head, and yet she looks ready to give him a lecture on how woman were equal to men.
The red-head looks defiant. "If I told you that, it would be the truth. Break-dancing is easier for boys any-"
"Is that what it's called?" Hana asked eagerly and the boy looked disgruntled.
"Yeah... Look, are you serious about this?" He's still waiting for her to say it's all a joke. But Hana nods, and Kei wonders what she's getting herself into. The red-head shrugs. "If you're really serious about learning, you should come practice with us. We meet here everyday, but we don't always practice here. If you really want to learn, meet us here tomorrow. Me and the rest of the crew-" He jerked a thumb towards the other dancers, who were finishing clearing up. "-We'll see what you can do." He smiled at her, but it wasn't an unkind smile. "Maybe if you're lucky, we'll let you in."
Hana met his flirty gaze coldly. "Yeah, maybe..."
And that's how Hana became one of the first female b-girls in Mallepa.
XXX
"You did WHAT?"
A shame-faced but also defiant fourteen year old Hana looked up at Kei for a second, then dropped her gaze back down to the kitchen floor. She's never seen Kei this angry before. But that's because Kei has never felt this angry before. "Kei, I'm not a little girl anymore, and I refuse to keep looking like one." Hana snapped, the dim kitchen lighting reflecting off her new nose piercing.
Kei took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, closing his eyes as he did so. Hana eyes him cautiously, although he didn't see it. It's been a little less than a year since Hana started break-dancing; maybe nine or ten months. In that short period of time, Hana has changed. A lot. She's no longer the quiet, gothic girl that she was from before. Now that Hana has found where she belongs, she's more willing to laugh. Life seems so much more enjoyable now. She no longer wore all black, there are other colors mixed into her wardrobe nowadays, and now that Hana is spending more and more time outside, her pale skin has darkened considerably. Hana has also grown into her height, and doesn't have such a gangly appearance anymore. On top of that, the days and days of constant break-dancing and working out have finally paid off; Hana's body is rippled with muscles that would make any boy her age jealous.
However, it's not these changes that have shocked (and angered) Kei. Hana had spent the day shopping with some of her friends; friends she'd met through break-dancing. Kei hadn't suspected anything. He hadn't had reason to. It was nice to see Hana spend some time with people her own age. The only thing Kei had been worried about was that Hana would spend all the money she'd managed to save up in the past six months on clothes that she was probably never going to wear, or even look at ever again.
Kei hadn't been expecting Hana to go out, and not only cut off all her pretty black hair, but get a nose piercing as well. Kei sighed, and opened his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have been bothered by the fact that Hana cut her hair; it was her hair after all. But it was just so damn short! Even Hana's red-headed friend had longer hair than she did now.
Hana, who had been pouring herself a glass of water, finally turned to meet Kei's eyes. Her hair was short, obviously, that's what Kei had been mentally ranting about for the past several minutes. However, the choppy cut gave her hair a slight feathery look, and oddly enough, transformed Hana's whole face. Maybe it was because her hair now ended just above the tips of her ears, or maybe it was for some completely different reason; like that Hana was growing up. Whatever it was, Hana looked different. Her cheekbones seemed sharper, her cheeks less full, and her eyes seemed bigger, though still every bit as slanted as they had been when she was younger. Much as Kei hated to admit it, Hana looked older. More...mature. Of course, the diamond stud on the right side of her nose probably wasn't making her look any younger. Kei scowled, and Hana mirrored his stormy expression.
"You don't have to like it." She snapped, slamming the cup down onto the counter with enough force to break it. "And I suppose I should say I'm sorry for going and doing something like this behind your back, but I'm not. Can you just explain to me why it bothers you so much? You've never expressed a dislike for nose pierces and short hair before. So what's bugging you?" Hana's hazel eyes bore into Kei's and he looked away.
"It's just...you're growing up Hana. That's all." Kei muttered, and understanding flooded Hana's eyes. With a slight sigh, she sat down next to him; back to the kitchen table, and long legs folded under her chin. Kei realized with a jolt she was already as tall as him. If she kept growing at the pace she currently was, Hana would be taller than even Sho.
"Well yeah, that does tend to happen with us humans." Hana said, but her tone was light. "I'm sorry Kei, but I can't stay a little girl just for you. I want to go places, I want to do things. And I wish there was some way I could do all that, and stay here with you, but there's not." She shrugged, and Kei was painfully aware of the fact that this was probably the most open she has ever been with him.
He couldn't really think of anything to say in response to that. "Well...when you leave, just remember to come back and visit." Was all he could manage.
Hana smiled at him, and threw her arms around Kei in a tight bear hug. "Of course." Then moving with slightly unsettling grace and speed, Hana slipped off the chair, and went over to gather up her shopping bags. "Oh, and Kei?" Hana called over her shoulder on the way to her room.
Kei warily looked up. Something about Hana's tone was off. "Yeah?"
"Things could have been worse. I could have gotten my tongue pierced. Or my nipple." And with that comforting thought, Hana departed for the safety of her own room; leaving Kei behind to contemplate which of the two Hana's he knew he liked better.
XXX
Much as Kei loathes to admit it, Hana is growing up. Soon she will be eighteen. She'll legally be an adult. She won't need Kei anymore. And...and then what? After that point, what will Kei do? The only reason he was continued living this long is to make sure than Hana wouldn't grow up an orphan. He promise that much to Sho. But Hana has admitted she wants to leave Mallepa; wants to see the rest of the world.
These are the things Kei ponders when Hana is out with her friends. Or out practicing her dance moves. Or out working at the several jobs she manages, as well as school. Hana is doing better in school now that she has a place to more her energy. Now that Hana feels she belongs to a group, school is no longer so awkward. At least that's what she says. Or maybe it's because Hana now has a reason to do well.
Whatever the reason is, Kei is thankful for it. If Kei disappears, at least Hana won't be alone.
But then comes than nagging question. Would Kei really be willing hurt Hana like that, leave her all alone, just for his own comfort? The girl can barely remember her true mother or father; Kei has been, for her, both of those roles and neither of those roles. Would Kei really be selfish enough to leave her without any parent figure in the world?
Kei sighs, and lights a cigarette. It's a bad habit, as Hana is always reminding him. But since he's not human, it doesn't really matter how tar coated his lungs get, right?
Committing suicide...Kei used to think about that a lot. Less after he met Sho, and even less once he started raising Hana. It's a confusing subject. On one hand, Kei hates this half life of killing others and lurking in the darkness. If someone gave him a choice, then Kei would choose death over this damned existence any day.
But on the other hand, Kei wants to be there for Hana. Always. He wants to be there for her, even when she has a family of her own. Because no matter what happens, Hana will always be Kei's little girl. He can't just leave her...
Can he?
XXX
"Kei...um, can we talk?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I'm not really busy now. Why? Is something wrong?"
"No Kei, nothings wrong. At least...I don't think so. Kei...I...I have...I have a girl-friend. And I...I want you to meet her."
Kei thought he was shocked when Hana got her nose pierced, that was nothing compared to this. He sits, or rather, collapses, down onto the couch, and looks over at Hana, who is curled up uncertainly in a chair, her hazel eyes watching him, trying to gauge his mood. Kei took a deep breath, and let it out. Slowly. "You mean, like a girl-friend...not like a friend who's a girl?" Hana looked slightly confused, and Kei wouldn't blame her. That wasn't the most clear thing he's ever asked her. But Hana quickly nods; she seemed to have worked out what he was trying to ask. "So when you say girl-friend...you mean..." This was very awkward, and Kei found he wasn't able to continue his question.
However, Hana's blunt nature quickly kicked in, and answered the question he hadn't really asked. "Yes Kei, she's my girl-friend as in boy-friend, only with a girl. Meaning that I take her on dates, and kiss her."
Well. Kei is at a lose for words. What exactly was there to say? Was Hana doing this because she really was attracted to other females, or was this just more teenage rebelism? With Hana, it was hard to tell.
Hana frowned. "Say something!" She commanded, pulling at the loose threads in the arm of the chair before ducking her head in embarrassment. "I mean..." She blushed, and sighed. "I know what you're thinking; that I'm just doing this to rebel against the way I was raised, and the way most of society was raised. But...with Namine...that's her name, my girl-friend's name..." Hana blushed again and looked at the ground. "I really do like her. A lot. So I want you to understand that I'm not just doing this to get attention." She looked up at Kei, her eyes serious, and begging with him to understand
Kei finally found his voice. "I know you're not doing this for attention. You don't do stuff like that." Kei made a slight face. "I hope." He added the last part almost as an afterthought, and was rewarded with a brief, but cheeky grin.
The two of them sat together in awkward silence not only Hana's secret binding them together, but the unspoken secrets as well. Hana was a bright girl, and at times Kei wondered how much she had already figured out about him and Sho. Had she already figured out that what her mother and father had shared had been little more than an empty echo of teenage lust? Had she already come to her own conclusion about what had gone on between Kei and Sho? Sho...what would Sho think about all of this? And why was he determined to push Hana away? The answer was obvious; because, like Kei, Sho couldn't take what he had become. "We are all guilty." Kei thought, tapping a pale finger against the arm-rest of the couch. Himself for turning Sho in the first place. Sho for leaving his only daughter behind. Hana...well, Hana wasn't guilty of anything actually, other than trying to find herself in a world crazy beyond all belief.
Kei glanced over at Hana. She was lost in thought, biting on her lip. A nervous habit; a bad habit. Just like chewing her nails. Was she regretting telling Kei about her gender preferences? Kei sighed, and swore under his breath. This wasn't fair. He wasn't going to judge Hana for something small like this. How could he judge her, when Kei himself had been in love with Hana's father ever since the two vampires had accidentally met, years and years ago. Hana was happy, and that was all that mattered. As long as she was happy. And the fact that she had trusted Kei enough to tell him, that, more than anything, made Kei determined to accept this. "Hana?" He asked gently, and Hana looked over at him, her lips press together in a thin line. "She's scared of what I might say." Kei realized, and tried not to laugh.
"Yes Kei?" Hana's tone is emotionless and soft; already she's throwing up the defensive walls she used so much as a kid.
"I would...really like to meet your girl-friend. If you don't mind."
XXX
"Kei, I'm so nervous." Hana whispers, her face almost green. "I don't think I can do this." She looked down at Kei imploringly. "Can't you just tell them...that I got sick? Or broke my leg? Or something? So I don't have to go out there!"
Kei laughs, but his happiness is tinged with sadness. "No Hana, why would I do something stupid like that? Go out there and dance! Everyone is waiting for you. And you've been waiting for this moment for five years. Don't be a chicken." He chides her, and Hana mumbles that to herself.
"Right. Chicken, don't be a chicken." She paces restlessly behind the make-shift stage and Kei stifles another laugh. It's too amusing to see Hana like this. But he's not going to laugh. That would be cruel.
"Hana, your cue, two seconds!" A short, sturdy young woman with a red streak in her otherwise brown hair hisses, and jerks a hand towards the stage.
"Right." Hana nodded, and swallowed, tugging at her clothes.
"I'd better go find a seat." Kei says, and Hana turns to him.
"You'll stay, right? For the whole thing?" She's worried that he'll leave for the most important moment of her life.
"Of course." He gives her a thumbs up. "Good luck."
XXX
Hana is eighteen. Tomorrow, she will leave for America, with the rest of her crew. They will attend a college in America; students by day, and breakers by night. Hana's redhead friend, the first b-boy she ever met was killed a year ago. In honor of him, the group calls themselves 'The Redheads of Mallepa.' It's a good name, even though none of them have real red hair. Hana is leaving Kei, just like she said she would.
Kei feels like he should be saddened by this fact. He should be sulking that Hana is leaving him. But right now, he can only feel proud. Proud and happy as he hugs a sweaty Hana, who's nerves have disappeared, only to be replaced with a sense of pride, and that good feeling that comes of showing off what you are good at. Kei can't be sad. He can't be jealous. This is Hana's time.
"Hana, you were amazing!" Kei says, hugging her tightly.
Hana hugs him back, her breath still ragged. "You think?" She asks, stepping away from Kei to wipe the sweat from her face.
"Of course." Kei smiles at Hana, and she smiles back. Behind them, people still mill around. Kei knows this park, it hold many memories. The park with Yi-chen's painting, the park where Toshi was shot, the park where he first met Hana. Now he has another memory of this place. But unlike the others, this memory will be, is, happy. Only happy. Yi-chen's faded and chipped angel seems to smile down at Hana, and the rest of her crew. Does Hana know that her mother painted this painting? Does she know the ties that she has to this park? Or did she just choose it at random?
"Kei?" Hana asks, giving him an odd look, and Kei realizes he is loosing himself to memories. But he can't do that. Not now. Not yet.
"Sorry...I was..thinking. Oh, here, these are for you." Wanting to gloss over the awkward moment, Kei hands Hana the large bundle of flowers he bought for her. The bouquet is so large it hides her face, but she easily shifts it to one shoulder.
"Thank you Kei. They're beautiful!" Hana gushes. It seems like she was going to say more, but several other guests drift over to congratulate Hana, and suddenly she is busy thanking people for coming.
But the other guests are gone soon enough, and then it is just Kei and Hana's crew.
Kei turns to Hana, knowing full well this might be the last time he will see her. "Hana-" He begins, but is cut off. Hana pulls Kei into a hug, tears filling her eyes as she kisses him. She doesn't want to leave Kei; he's the only father she's ever had. The only person she could ever truly depend on. But she doesn't want to stay here, in Mallepa forever. So to get one thing, she will have to loose another.
Kei holds Hana close for a minute, committing everything about her to memory, and then gently but firmly pushes her away. It's time to start the good-byes. Hana wipes her eyes furiously and gives him a weak smile. Kei begins. "I can't go see you off tomorrow, obviously, but good luck of course. Do well in school. Dance in a bunch of battles. Have fun. Stay safe. Be good. Meet Ken Swift and all that."
"He's dead Kei!" Hana says, giving an odd little half sob, half laugh. "But yes, I promise I won't...get in too much trouble. Or at least, I promise to try." Her smile is becoming less watery, and more confident. "Good." Kei thinks. "I'll miss you." Hana whispers, and suddenly her eyes are locked onto Kei's and are burning with a dangerous light. "I'm coming back to visit, you know that right? So don't you dare do something stupid while I'm away! I'm coming back, understand? I'm coming back."
So Hana knows. Of course she knows. He nods, and the light fades from Hana's eyes. In the back of her mind, there is still the lingering fear, but what else can she do, other than take his word for it?
The two of them, human girl and vampire boy, lean in for one last hug. But Hana seems distracted, and she pulls away from Kei, glancing over her shoulder as she does so. Her profile is cast sharply into the light, and Kei takes it in. Her short, choppy black hair, large, slanting hazel eyes, diamond nose stud, the way her eyes narrow slightly when she's thinking. He knows what she sensed, but it would be suspicious not to say anything. "Hana?" He asks, faking a worried curiosity.
She glances back at him, and for the first time, Kei cannot tell what she is thinking. But she brushes it off quickly. "Nothing. Sorry Kei, I was lost in thought like you. For a minute there, I felt like someone was watching me...But I'm sure I imagined it or something."
"Hey, Hana, you ready or not?" Someone shouts, and Hana turns to wave at her friends.
"Be right there!" She calls.
"Go." With one word, it's over. They both nod, and give a slight, sad smile. Kei looks over at Hana's friends. Her girl-friend, a petite, artistic blond. The brown-haired girl with a red streak; the one who took Hana under her wing, and taught Hana how to break-dance. A bored looking blond with a scar across his face. A busty half-Asian girl with long black hair like Hana's. A grinning black boy with a buzz cut. And there are others; some looking bored, some looking happy, some looking tough. But they are Hana's friends, regardless. She will be safe with them.
"Goodbye Kei." Kei watches Hana as she runs over to her friends, and leans in to give her girl-friend a kiss. They all look so happy. So happy and young. Whatever happens, Hana will be safe with them. They are her group, her crew, her family now.
One last wave. As Hana and her friends turn to leave, off to find a bar perhaps, Hana turns, and gives Kei one last wave. Then she turns away. And is gone.
XXX
"She didn't...turn out like I thought she would." Sho must have seen Hana's performance, must have seen her kiss a girl, must have seen everything.
Kei turns to face Sho, and wonders if they will ever be able to repair their damaged relationship. "Yeah, you must be shocked." Sho winces, and Kei regrets his harsh words. "Sorry Sho, I...I'm sorry." Kei sighed, and sat down on one of the benches. "Hana was determined to be different from you and Yi-chen. She used to draw, but she doesn't anymore. Not after I told her Yi-chen was an artist."
"Tell me about her Kei." Sho's tone is pleading, and Kei turns to look up at the man he once loved. "Tell me about Hana."
"No." Sho's expression is startled, and Kei thinks hard about what he wants to say. "I can't Sho. You should have been there. You should have been the one that she looked up to, and turned to when she was hurt. I can't describe her Sho. She's your daughter. You should have been the one to raise her."
"I know." Sho sits down next to Kei, and closes his eyes. "But I missed my chance, didn't I?"
Kei's mouth twists up into a sad, hopeful half-smile. "She's coming back to visit Sho. Hana said that she would come back to visit. Maybe you haven't missed your chance."
Sho opens his eyes, and looks at Kei. Kei returns his gaze. And the two vampires sit, looking at each other, trying to get past ten years of hate and pain. They sit, and wait for the sun to rise.
END