Loving Lily, a harry potter fanfic

Title: Loving Lily
Author: Roni Black.
Rating: K+.
Spoilers: All seven books.
Genre: Romance, Angst.
Era: Takes place shortly after "Snape's Worst Memory". That's 1976.
Summary: Lily walks down the corridor, nose buried in a book, making four different hearts flutter.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

A/N: Just something short and sweet that I needed to write.

Loving Lily

Lily Evans was walking down the corridor, a heavy book open in her hands, her nose buried in it.

Not an exceptionally unusual sight, especially on such a busy week – last week before the final exams.

However, this sight made four different hearts flutter.

James

She really was a sight. This hair, the curls, the eyes, the smile – not that she was smiling now, not that she had ever smiled at his direction, to be frank, but hey, he had seen her smile before. She had such perfect teeth. Such perfect figure. Oh, she was all perfect.

Evans, will you go out with me? – Not in a million years, Potter.

Their tradition since year one. He had been asking her out about every other week, and always got the same answer. Well, she had been varying her responses, he had to admit: Not if you were the last bloke in this school. Not if it were a choice between you and a pigmy puff. Not even if pigs learned to fly, Potter.

One day she will be mine, though, James thought longingly. One day she will realize we were meant for each other. But when? What did he have to do to make this day come faster? Stop bullying Snivellus? Well, he could do that for her. He could try, at least. He really believed he could. Try, that is.

I'm sure she'll be mine... one of these days. When Snivellus isn't around, maybe. When something happens that makes her see... see me, for who I really am.

Sirius

He's your best mate. God, forget about her already. You have practically every other girl at this school at your feet. Let it go, for heaven's sake. Why do you always want what you can't have?

He knew he couldn't have her. He could have any other girl at this school – well, not all of them, maybe, but most of them anyway – but not her. He wasn't good enough for her... or so she seemed to think.

He had only began to realize how much he liked her at the beginning of this year, their fifth. She was pretty and clever and sophisticated and – there was something about her, well... he had never felt this way about a girl. Sure, he had liked a lot of girls, and a lot of girls liked him. But when he thought of Lily... he didn't want what he usually wanted from pretty girls. No, that wasn't true – he very much wanted this – but he wanted something more. He wanted to take her out, to make her laugh. To have her give him one of her most beautiful smiles, have her eyes sparkle at him. Maybe surprise her with a present, or send her a note in class, or give her a red lily before she went up to bed, give her a quick kiss and whisper something in her ear to make her laugh again. They could have a snowball fight, he could make her fall down on the snow and lie down next to her and kiss her and –

But of course, there was no way he could ever do any of that. Not only could she never be interested in him, but even if she could, he could never do it to James. James was his best friend. They had been best friends for five years. He wouldn't risk this friendship for anything in the world, certainly not a girl. Not for a girl who saw him as nothing but Potter's sidekick. She had hardly ever even talked to him.

He sighed as he watched her walking away. He usually tried not to let his eyes linger on her when James was around, lest he got suspicious, but lately it was just becoming harder and harder.

He closed his eyes for a moment, then got to his feet and rushed in another direction. He ought to find a girl, and now. He had to find someone else to take his mind off Lily, even for a few hours. He would simply go for the first girl he saw and use his usual charm on her.

What's the point? She will never be mine anyway.

Remus

She was asking him a question about Transfiguration. As usual, he found it hard to concentrate in her proximity. The smell of her hair was something he had never smelled anywhere else. They ought to ban this shampoo at the school. How are we supposed to concentrate on our studies if every girl starts walking around smelling like this?

She was looking at him now, her big green eyes glittering slightly. He could see the sun reflected in them. She was too beautiful to be true – but who cared what she looked like? For all he cared she could dye her hair and wear huge glasses to hide her eyes and not have any make-up on – did she have any make-up on? He wasn't sure – and she would still be gorgeous to him.

It wasn't like he fancied her or anything, he told himself as he watched her walk away. Not like James. He was never going to ask her out – she saw him as a friend. He wasn't even sure he wanted to ask her out. It would just be awkward, after all, they were friends. There had never been any spark between them. At least, she never seemed to feel any spark. And he... well, she was just... attractive, perhaps. Cute. Something about her... he couldn't put his finger on it. What did she have that other girls didn't?

He usually forced himself to think of other things when his mind wandered to Lily. She was funny, yes. Other than James and Sirius, no one ever made him laugh quite like she did. It was so much fun just talking to her, that sometimes he stopped their converations abruptly and excused himself, in fear that he would grow addicted to her, and he couldn't allow himself to do that.

James.

James...

Sometimes he thought that Lily might actually fancy him, a little. Then he realized she was only treating him as she would a friend. Their relationship was absolutely platonic, at least in her eyes.

And it had to remain that way. What would James say if he found out? After all he had done for him – especially this year. Hadn't he and Sirius become Animagi, and helped Peter become one as well, just to keep him company every full moon? This year had been so much better than any other year in his life. Every month, his three best friends accompanied him to the Shrieking Shack, and instead of the experience being horrible as usual, it was actually enjoyable. His friends were with him and they roamed the village, and sometimes went back to the school grounds. For the first time in so many years, he wasn't dreading the full moon, but actually looking forward to it. How could he ever betray James and ask out the girl he had been dreaming about for five years?

He could never.

Never.

Severus

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

"Mudbloods like her!"

"MUDBLOOD!"

Severus sat up boltright in bed, panting and sweating. Another nightmare. Another Lily nightmare. Her eyes haunted him. The way she had looked at him, the hurt, the disappointment... How could he? How? How?

He had begged her to forgive him, of course; tried to explain why he had lost control like that, but she wouldn't listen. She had told him fair and square: "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

No!

He had lost her friendship. Not only had he not gained her love, but he had lost her friendship. How could he have let this happen? Her friendship was the only thing that ever mattered to him. Stuff Mulciber and his stupid spells. Let Avery rot in hell for all he cared. She was all he had ever wanted. She meant more to him than anyone or anything in this world. No one would ever love her like he did, and he could never love anyone else; how could he, after her? She was everything to him. Everything.

And he had lost her.

With every step she took down that corridor, his heart ached more. She was so lively, so sweet, so pure. He couldn't help feeling like the loneliest person at Hogwarts when he remembered all the days and nights they had spent talking, laughing, studying. All those long hours he had spent watching every move she made, every breath she took, and admiring every last bit about her. There was nothing she could ever do to make him feel differently about her. She was everything to him.

Watching her walk away was too much. He turned away and ran outside. He didn't think he could stand the sight of her back turned to him for another moment.

A/N: Well, that's quite it. I must admit it is a bit of a parody on how people pair Lily with positively every single character in the books. But I do like the idea of pairing her with these blokes, especially when it's realistic – did you find it realistic? I tried to make it as realistic as I could. Obviously it's not canon, but it's close to it. Hope you liked! Tell me what you thought!

Roni Black