The Wolf's Tale
Disclaimer: I do not own Little Red Riding Hood; Public Domain though.
Rated: T
Why am I the bad guy of the story? The big bad monster that needs to be vanquished? I'll tell you what really happened in those woods and you'll see she's the monster. Boo hoo-hoo, poor innocent Little Red Riding Hood my tail! I swear to Gaia that she came onto me! Not the other way around!
That little harlot came onto me and when things got a little too heavy for her she ran. I very well couldn't let her go off and claim that I attacked her, they'd want my pelt, so I followed her scent to the old coots' house. Grandma wasn't home and I saw some of the old broad's clothes and…I'll admit I have a cross-dressing fetish… yes I'm a sick, sick puppy and I need help…Well anyways I'm tired and that bed looks really comfy so I decided to have a little nap. And when I wake up she's there.
She knows I'm not grandma but we begin to banter anyways.
"Grandma what big eyes you have…"
"The better to see you with my dear."
"Grandma what big hands you have…"
"The better to feel you with my dear…"
"Grandma what big claws you have…"
"The better to cause goose bumps on your skin my dear…"
"Grandma what big teeth you have…"
"The better to nip you with my dear…"
"Alright, take of Grandma's clothes…"
I did as told as she too stripped down…
Unfortunately just as we parted, Nature's urges satisfied, Grandma came stomping back in and Red began screaming the R-word. And so the version of events you heard was her testimony and I became a rug. Happily Ever After…what a load of crap….