A/N: This is just a converstation that I dreamed up in my head the other day.

o.O.o

"Male, female, I don't really care if their mouth is on my prick," Kiba said boisterously, slamming his bottle of Bud down on the table for emphasis.

"So what you're saying," began Ino, leaning forward with her best cat-caught-up-a-tree grin, "that you, Kiba, are bisexual."

"I don't really think of it that way," he began almost nonchalantly. I was amazed that he was able to pull it off because Kiba is one of the most nonchalant people that I know, always loud and in your face. "I'm pretty sure I'd never go up some guy's butt, and I know that I'd never let anyone up mine. I like to think of myself as more of an opportunist."

"Yeah, if the opportunity of getting a blow job comes along, Kiba takes it. No matter if it's Katia Crawford."

The table burst out laughing. Katia Crawford was a woman from the neighborhood several of us grew up in who had a certain fondness for corrupting the youth of teenage boys. She was also going on fifty then, no telling how old she was now.

"Hey," Kiba said almost indignantly (if he could even feel indigence), "she did this thing with her tongue that you would not believe. Many a year passed before I came the hard again."

"Now that is just too much information," Sakura said taking a huge swig of her Cosmopolitan, draining it.

"So what are you saying, Sakura?" I teased. "You would pass up the opportunity for some great oral if the person giving it happened to be female?"

She knew I was only joking with her, but the look that she shot me informed me that I should either flee the country or prepare for a massive case of the whoop-downs. But watching the way her cheeks flamed up, the color going way up into her hair line, it was completely worth it.

However, she thought about it for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "I suppose I wouldn't. But only if it was really, really great oral."

"Ha, I knew it! Sakura has a thing for titties!" Kiba yelled. His wildest wet dreams were coming true by the millisecond.

"I always knew you were a bit of a fruit, Sakura," Ino cajoled. "Knew it every since we were little kids. Course, it didn't matter. I loved you anyway."

Ino went home with Sakura that night and they have been together every since.

"And what about you, Naruto?" Ino asked, loving to create a little bit of controlled chaos. "You ever get any head?"

My eyes quickly skittered over to where Sasuke was ordering us another round up at the bar. He must have sensed that I was looking at him, because he looked back at me, our eyes locking. I smiled at him and much to the chagrin of every other patron at our table, he smiled, ever so slightly, back at me.

I nodded, and Ino shrieked with laughter.

"Wow," Shikamaru said, speaking for the first time in more than fifteen minutes. "I am really surprised Sasuke would ever put anyone's genitals anywhere near his mouth."

"Well, I'm not too surprised Sasuke gives Naruto blow jobs. I mean, with how small his penis is, it only makes sense-"

From behind Sai, Sasuke, arms full of beer bottles, cleared his throat and said, "I can assure you all that there is nothing remotely small about Naruto's penis. And for the record, I enjoy blowing him."

I knew my cheeks were now rivaling what Sakura's had looked like only moments ago.

Sasuke set the bottles on the table, keeping two in his arm. He grabbed my hand with his spare and hauled me to my feet. "Now," he began, "if you all would excuse us for the night, I would like to take Naruto home and watch his eyes roll back into his head as he cums into my mouth."

Our friends all sat there stunned for a moment as we began to walk to the door. I turned to wave at them all when Ino stood, yelling, "Can I watch?"

End.