Mall Rat's: A Christmas Tale
Chapter 1
Okay, so, Ter and Brandon was server hopping one day. Getting in to the Christmas spirit they were both doing army roleplay and kept shouting '16 hundred military time' over and over again. In Ter's house, being a bad baby came with absolutely no repercussions. He was eating the candy in his stocking and had opened several presents early.
Ter failed to realise his mom had to work extra hours to afford his lavish treats and goodies, robbing her of the satisfaction she would have received watching him open the presents on Christmas day.
Dolly joined the voice chat. "Hello yes! My friends, hello buddies. How are my pals doing today?".
What happened next may shock you, don't read this part if you are easily shockable. Brandon did not even say 'TRANSMISSION LOST' or 'signing off', he completely broke character, dirtying the RP. Ter was not hurt by this because he has a problem with long term memory, he instantly forgot. "You sound cute right now" he said almost robotically. Dolly was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had long thick hair, two boobs,
and one vagina. Because of the cataracts in Ter's eyes, he didn't realize there was other people in the voice chat and with complete disregard to everyone s else feelings, he proceeded to tell dolly about his 3.75 Black Series Anakin Skywalker (with removable glove) he had just got for Christmas.
Out of nowhere, a booming voice that sounded Italian American in origin erupted like a baby woken from a nap. The voice sounded very sexy. "Can you shut the fuck up? I hate my friends because they fuck my rank up and it's totally not because I play as a sniper every game" iSuckAtWidow lectured, and because he sounded like the oldest of the group everyone listened.
Widow had forgotten to supress his thick jersey accent; he was swamped with messages from girls mistaking him for The Situation. Unbeknownst to the 'mall rats', Widow was actually from Boston. "y'know h'what? Im outta here. Boom".
"Bye lover boy" most of the females said, waving, as Widow opened the door, walked out of his house but sadly passed away. He died, of a shameful, lifestyle choice (contracted aids). Widow bled to death in 5 weeks.
He played Overwatch while waiting to die.
"I won t let Widows death ruin Christmas guys" Caesar triumphantly cheered. Pussy tried to cheer her on but she was still sick with the flu. Her lungs rapidly filled with snot, suffocating her. In a fit of rage Ter exclaimed, "This is the second person to die in this story, humour is the greatest medicine and I believe I can use its power to save the one's we love from death". Karina spoke but no one was able to decipher what she was saying. "You can't fight aids, how do you fight he who has no physical form? Dexter pondered. "I propose a new joke to help us all abstain from abnormal sex" Ter proclaimed. The entire group huddled together, giggling listening to ter's new funny joke.
It has been five years now and no one has contracted HIV thanks to the new, funny, and original joke. Ter had cleverly changed an already fading joke "I hope everything goes okay", used exclusively when some is leaving to keep him fresh in their minds, to, "I hope you have very safe sex".