How to Save a Life
- When Zexion is assigned to an impossible suicide mission, Demyx just wants to say goodbye.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
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It wasn't the mission that made Demyx worry so much; it was the Nobody that it had been assigned to.
The sky was always dark in the World That Never Was, but according to the blue alarm clock sitting on Demyx's nightstand, it was the exact color that it should be: pitch. It was 11:30 p.m. and, in exactly seven hours, Zexion would be sent out and more than likely die. When it came to Nobodies such as themselves, 'die' was the equivalent of 'disappear' or 'fade back into darkness forever'.
It made Demyx sick to think of such a thing happening to Zexion.
Many of the other Organization members had noticed the growing fondness Demyx appeared to have for Number VI and were constantly either chiding or teasing the two about it, even if the 'feeling' wasn't mutual for Zexion. Many times in the past, if the nocturne had happened to wonder into Zexion's room 'on accident' or 'accidentally' stumble into him in the hallways, it was met with a series of ill-meant remarks and inquiries as to why he insisted on doing such things all the time. Up to this point, Demyx's reply had always been the same, "Wha-oh, I'm sorry, Zexion! I didn't mean to, I was just…" and then he would come up with a random excuse and hurry off, secretly pleased and smiling to himself with and about the small bit of conversation he had managed to have with the Cloaked Schemer. In truth, he wasn't quite sure of what the reason was himself.
Some called it love, and some called it idiocy. No one had dared say this to Zexion yet, in fear he might make their lives miserable with his illusions and countless schemes, though the idea that Demyx might tell him in some form or fashion was becoming quite popular amongst everyone else, and now, Demyx was up late considering it himself.
But how do you tell someone who was about to go out and die something like that?
xxx
Tap, tap, tap
Three small knocks on his door was what brought Number VI away from his thoughts.
Oh, what is it now…?
Zexion sighed and warily approached the door, setting his lexicon beside him on the bed before he did so. "Who is this, and what may I do for you?" he asked, setting a gloved hand on the knob but not yet turning it.
"Err, Zexion? It's me, Demyx."
Zexion's eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to think of a reason as to why Demyx was disturbing him at this hour. "Number IX, I don't have time for your games," he chided, more than a bit irritated at the Nobody standing outside his door.
"Please, Zexion? I really need to talk to you."
Zexion sighed, contemplating his options and wondering what might happen if he opened the door for the nocturne at such a late hour in the night. He didn't want Demyx to get upset and start begging to come in, which would no doubt strike amusement among any of the other members that heard, but he had enough on his mind as it was and still had yet to prepare for his mission tomorrow. So whenever he at last responded, Zexion surprised himself with his own words.
"Fine," he muttered, opening the door and allowing Demyx to quickly step by him and into the room. "But I don't have all night." And presumably not tomorrow.
Demyx nodded from where he stood in the middle of the floor, quietly watching Zexion close the door to his room back after inspecting the hallway to see if any of the other members had witnessed the conversation. "Now," the tactician turned towards the other warily. "What is it that you need to talk to me about?"
"Well," Demyx began, glancing around the room nervously for some form of distraction. "I was…err, I needed, I mean, wanted to give you this." He pulled a CD out from his pocket and extended it out towards Zexion, who hesitantly accepted it. He watched as the shorter man inspected it curiously and gulped.
"It's a song I thought you might like, is all," Demyx explained, a bit too quickly for no suspicion to be held at all.
With a sigh, Zexion walked over to his desk and placed the CD beside a stack of papers. "Thank you, Number IX," he began. "But you know as well as I do that I probably won't have a use for it by tomorrow." He resisted the urge to frown at the thought and glanced over at Demyx with as little graveness as he could muster. To Zexion's surprise, the nocturne looked to be as deeply upset as he was, and yet was making no attempt to hide it.
"I know, but I thought you could listen to it while you set up your panels, at least for tonight," Demyx offered glumly, making no attempt whatsoever to mask his sadness. He pointed over to the open lexicon laying on the bed, emphasizing his statement.
"Ah, well, I suppose you're right; I haven't finished preparing yet," Zexion mumbled, suddenly wanting to avoid all eye contact with Demyx as possible. "I believe I will, Number IX. Thank you."
"You're welcome," the nocturne replied, more than just a hint of misery in his voice. Zexion blinked, startled at how the emotion across the other's face looked almost…well, almost real. But it was impossible for them as Nobodies to feel. This was just another one of Demyx's games, he told himself uncertainly.
The two stood still for a several moments, glancing awkwardly at the other as the seconds ticked by into minutes that were beginning to feel like hours. An unfamiliar warmth crept up into Zexion's face, and he noticed Demyx's own face was beginning to turn oddly…red.
"Are you…blushing?!" Zexion sputtered out, staring at the other in shock. Demyx's face only darkened in color, and he quickly covered his face with his hands.
"You are, too, you know," the other pointed out sheepishly, peeking out from behind his fingers, and the temperature in the room seemed to rise by several degrees for Zexion.
"Alright, Demy-Number IX," Zexion began, his voice shaky, and Demyx seemed to muster enough courage to drop his hands. "I think it's time you left and proceeded back to your own room. I don't care what you do in there, but please leave me to my preparations in quiet and in solitude."
"I…" Demyx looked down at the ground, looking slightly put-out. "Alright. Goodnight, Zexion." He gave an awkward wave and slowly proceeded to the door, leaving a trail of misery behind him. Zexion wasn't relaxed until the door closed and the footsteps trailing down the hall belonging to Demyx were no longer audible.
xxx
"Now, what could he have meant by this?"
The Cloaked Schemer picked up the CD Demyx had given him and stared at it blankly. He had many mixed thoughts on this, most of scrutiny, embarrassment, and uncertainty, but most importantly, the thought of why. It wasn't as if Demyx and he could actually be considered friends, even if Number IX did think that they were, for whatever reason. At the most, Zexion considered the CD to be a parting gift, since the mission he had been assigned to for tomorrow was deemed to be fairly impossible.
Maybe I could listen to it… for a moment, at the very least.
He dug through one of the drawers of his desk and found a mini-CD player, one that had headphones attached and a very low volume, before inserting the disk in and carrying the small device over to his bed.
It might give me a slightly clearer conscious for the afterlife, if nothing else.
The CD had no label, so Zexion could only guess two things about it: one, that it was copied or pirated, and two, that it might be one of Demyx's tapes of himself singing loud and very off-key.
Hesitantly, he pushed the on-button and began to let it play, staying still for a moment before he was sure it wasn't Demyx's singing. The song started out with piano keys playing softly, before a man Zexion had never heard before starting singing lyrics he wasn't familiar with himself. It wasn't off-key or some sort of rock band with irritatingly loud screaming, so he shrugged and allowed it to continue playing before going about sorting through panels and hi-potions for his mission tomorrow.
And, to Zexion's surprise, he really did enjoy the song.
Step one: you say, "We need to talk."
he walks; you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk."
he smiles politely back at you
you stare politely right on through.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay
Right between the lines of fear and blame.
You begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Let him know that you know best,
'cause after all, you do know best.
Try to step past his defense, without granting innocence.
Lay down a list of what is wrong,
the things you told him all along.
Pray to God he hears you,
and I pray to God he hears you.
And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours, and grant him one last choice.
Drive until you lose the road,
or break with the ones you follow.
He will do one of two things.
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same,
And you'll begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
How to save a life…
How to save a life…
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
How to save a life…
How to save a life…
When it ended, Zexion felt like he were frozen. His hands at long since left the panel case of his lexicon, and he at last lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling with blue eyes narrowed in concentration at what all of this meant.
When early morning came, and Saix arrived at his bedroom door ordering that he leave now, there was only one thought on Zexion's mind, and the fear he hadn't felt upon receiving the suicide mission filled his chest in a sudden burst of pain and guilt.
Why didn't I tell Demyx goodbye?
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Author's Note: I am seriously considering turning this into a multi-chapter. What do you all think? And yes, this is meant to be a platonic relationship, but you can take this however you want. Some of you *coughnekolemonwritercough* are relentless, anyways, so enjoy this yaio or slash or platonic fic or whatever you want to call it, and don't forget to review!