A/N: Uh...really stupid story here, but it just happened to occur to me doing my algebra homework. What if Hojo's little family tree was a fake, and he was really a youkai? Just the idea of Kouga finding Kagome and InuYasha in the modern era amuses the heck out of me. And can't you just imagine Hojo with a tail?

I don't own InuYasha, or it would be shorter and it would have ended in the middle of something when I forgot about it. Hence why you should be glad I didn't come up with it.

Hojo never could figure out what it was with Kagome. She never seemed sick, but she always had old people diseases. She certainly wasn't old, and she'd never been constantly sick before. He knew that because he'd been at this middle school since sixth grade. Thankfully, he looked old enough for that at least. So now, he turned to his father for advice. His father wasn't a big man, but he was strong and brave, and rather popular with everyone he knew. And, according to everyone who'd known him for a long time, he was still as sought after by the ladies as he'd been ages ago. He simply didn't reciprocate it.

The first thing he did, once home, was to seek his dad out. His dad was almost always in the study, working away with his friends and colleagues. They didn't look like it, but they were the owners of a restaurant chain, coffee shop chain, and bakery chain. They were rich. And yet...they didn't flaunt it. Granted, it would be a little hard to flaunt your wealth when people might realize you weren't aging a bit, because none of the three were. Kouga, Ginta, and Hakkaku could pass for twenty still, and they certainly knew it. Unfortunately for Kouga, his wife, Ayame, was just as young and strong as she'd been that long ago. They cooperated closely with the Tenseiga Corporation, run by someone far older than even they.

"Dad, I need help," Hojo announced. "I wouldn't ask...but it's a girl." His blush was all his father needed to offer him a chair.

"Name first, and what she looks like, and then the problem," he ordered, silencing Ginta and Hakkaku's snickers with a wave.

"Kagome Higurashi, black hair, blue eyes," Hojo listed, not noticing that his father went stiff. "She's sick all the time, gone from school and stuff. And, Dad, the strangest scent is always at the shrine she lives at."

Kouga, stood up. "We're going to that shrine," he announced.

"Why?"

"I think I know her. And I wanna see Muttface if it's really her," Kouga said. If his tail had been visible, it would have been waving furiously.

"Mom might not like that," Hojo said, eyeing his ponytailed father cautiously.

"Oh, I made my peace with her choices long ago," he said, waving a dismissory hand at his son. "I just thought it'd be fun to see them again. And make sure of my hunch."

They visited the shrine about five times before they were there when someone emerged from the shrine. A very obvious hanyou, and Kagome.

"Higurashi-san," Hojo exclaimed, doing a double-take at the two of them.

"Muttface, Kagome. It's been too long," was Kouga's variant on a hello.

InuYasha jumped in front of Kagome, baring his teeth. "You're still around?"

"Yeah, too bad for you," Kouga said, smirking.

Kagome groaned.

Hojo peered at her. "Are you all right?"

"What are you doing with Kouga-kun?" she asked, sounding tired. "And where'd his tail go?"

If she was surprised to see Kouga, he was more surprised by the tail. "He...tail...how d'you know about that?"

"I used to want to make her my woman...but I shouldn't tell you two any more about that." He chuckled. "What were you doing in the well?"

"Fighting Naraku...as usual," Kagome grumbled, pushing past. "I'm taking a bath. Don't tear up the shrine courtyard, or I'll purify something."

Hojo was completely and utterly out of the loop now.

When he finally had all the bits and pieces sorted out, Hojo wasn't sure if he should be laughing, crying, or both. He'd fallen just as hard as his father had once, and for the exact same girl. "This is ridiculous," he told Hakkaku, chin propped on his hand which was propped on the desk.

Hakkaku chuckled. "You might not look like either of your parents, but you sure got their personality," he said, "I must admit, it's good to see her again. InuYasha," he added smugly, "Doesn't hate us. Just your dad."

"This does make any pursuit of her waaaay more awkward though...since I know she's like, already been married and had kids and died...and yet she's in the same grade as me." He rubbed his head. "I'm not sure if my brain's gonna implode first, or my amulet."

"I'd rather the youki hiding amulet not blow, you know," Hakkaku drawled. "I'd have to go to Sesshomarou-sama for another." He shuddered. "He still glares at me sometimes..." He shook his head.

"I don't want to know anymore about all these weird youkai affairs and stuff...they're too confusing," Hojo grumbled, dropping his head to the desk. "I'm just...really glad that Dad didn't marry Kagome....then I'd've been crushing on my mother."

Hakkaku's facial expression echoed Hojo's sentiments precisely.