Author's Note: I thought this would be humorous so please humor me by reading this. And if you review you will get virtual cookies. I do not own House MD or its characters. Enjoy the story!
"You're pregnant." House said slightly annoyed by the woman in front of him. In fact, he was annoyed by clinic duty all together. Most of the idiotic patients had runny noses and were too stupid to know it was just the common cold and not at all worthy of his attention.
"No... that's impossible." She replied.
"Not for someone who clearly cheats on her husband every night." House mocked.
"How dare you!" The woman said before storming out of the room.
Cuddy comes in ruining House's few seconds of peace looking clearly unhappy with him.
"What did you say to that woman?" Cuddy asked placing her hands on her hip like a scolding mother.
"Just that she was pregnant. That happens when you have sex."
"And I'm betting you mocked her for having too much sex?"
"What else was I supposed to do? Lie and tell her she's been a good girl and will be on Santa's nice list this year?"
"What about be nice instead of accusing your patients of being whores?"
"I rather be honest. It's way more fun."
"I bet that your uncapable of being nice. In fact, I will give you one week off clinic duty if you can be nice all next week starting tomorrow and if you fail and I'm sure you will, I'll give you double clinic hours."
"You're on, but only if you make it a month off clinic duty."
"The most I'll give you is two weeks."
"I can work with that. Now off to wreck misery while I can."
Day One:
The next day, House came to work actually wearing his white labcoat. He turned a few curious stares and forced a fake smile. Just six days and a few hours to go he said in his thoughts. He saw the pregnant woman in the clinic again and almost gagged at the thought of apologizing to her. But he really wanted to win this bet and was willing to do whatever it took.
"Hello, it's me Doctor Gregory House. I'm sorry about yesterday. I was in a bad mood."
"You expect to accuse me of cheating and hope to get away with it with just a sorry? I am a faithful woman."
"How about I give you twenty dollars to pretend that you're okay with an apology."
"Forty bucks and I'm in."
"Thirty-five?"
"Okay deal." She said and then raised her voice and said, "Oh, I understand that you were in a bad mood. I forgive you."
Cuddy showed her face by the end of the conversation and looked impressed, "You're actually trying."
"Yep, just don't expect a bow and a kiss on the hand or anything along those lines." House said and then forced a small smile, "Hope you have a good day."
Cuddy smirked apon seeing how hard it was for him, "I'll give you two more days before you break."
"And I bet you will be wrong."
"We'll see."
Day Two
Wilson caught up to Cuddy.
"Okay, what have you've done with the real House?" Wilson asked.
"Why? What feat of niceness did he perform now?" Cuddy asked.
"He bought lunch and he didn't try to eat mine. Now where are you holding the real House hostage? As his friend, I ought to know."
"You're seeing the real House. I just bet he couldn't be nice for a week and offered to give him two weeks off clinic duty if he could."
"No wonder he seemed so not House."
"Maybe you can try getting what he owes you back, at least, before he stops being nice."
"I bet there are better ways to spend this temporary niceness on."
Day Three
"Its Lupus." Kutner blurted out in the midst of a differential diagnosis.
House had to bit his tongue to avoid calling him an idiot. He smiled nicely and said, "Good idea, but it doesn't quite fit. Do you have anymore ideas?"
Kutner looked shocked and dumbfounded and House nearly lost his patience at how dumb he looked.
"You didn't mock him?" Thirteen asked curiously, "That was a terrible idea and you practically patted him on the back. How much is Cuddy paying you to act this way?"
"Two weeks off clinic duty."
"For what?"
"One week of niceness. I'm almost down three days already."
"So you can't call any of us idiots?" Kutner asked.
House nearly lost it, but politely said, "No I can't."
Day Four
House sat annoyed in front of a group of medical students whom he was supposed to lecture. He only agreed to this trying to be nice. He briefly wondered if it would be worth it, but he really wanted to rub Cuddy's face in the fact that he could be nice if he wanted to. He sighed and began the boring lecture and managed to make it through the whole thing without calling anybody an idiot.
He then topped it all off by buying Cuddy's daughter an expensive, new, and safe baby toy. When he gave it to Cuddy, he smirked proudly at her.
"Only three more days of this nonsense. Tomorrow, I'm helping Wilson entertain a bunch of bald kids. It's going to be easy. I have even avoided saying the "I" word and making jokes about your cleavage. Soon, I'll get some time away from wiping people's noses. Just watch." House said proudly.
"I'm impressed you made it this far, but there's no way you can stay nice in front of those kids." Cuddy replied.
"We'll see."
House walked proudly out of her office and wasn't even phased as a kid accidently stepped on his shoe.
"Sorry." The kid muttered.
House grabbed a lollipop and gave it to the kid and said, "No problem."
Cuddy watched in shock and began to fear that House would win the bet.
Day Five
House was dressed all up as a clown and showing the bald kids simple card tricks. Wilson smiled at his admirable effort. He never knew House had it in him. He was most likely going to win. Wilson felt bad for Cuddy. Clearly, House could be a human being if he tried.
Wilson was even more surprised when House figuratively did a back flip when a kid threw up all over his clown costume. House handled it calmly and coolly. He left to clean himself up and even reassured the kid that it was alright. Wilson looked on with his mouth agape. Cuddy never had a chance.
Day Six
House roomed through the halls singing quite proud of having made it thus far.
"Almost over, mommy. I just got to say that you look nice as usual. Your leadership qualities are absolutely outstanding." House said happily.
"I got to admit. I'm impressed. I didn't think you were capable." Cuddy admitted.
"It wasn't easy, but I'm finally done with helping little old ladies cross the street."
"Maybe we can extend the bet further?"
"Not a chance. After this, I never want to be this nice again. I've been literally holding doors open for people and I'm tired of it with all the niceness in the world.
Day Seven
House finally made it to the last day and felt quite proud of his accomplishment. He just couldn't wait to rub Cuddy's face in it, but he was being nice so had to wait till tomorrow, but he wasn't bothered. He was getting time off of clinic duty. He went on his rounds of saying his "good mornings" to everyone.
He even let Kutner write on the white board.
(House MD* House MD)
Then, just like that the bet was over and House won. He enjoyed his time off clinic duty and returned back to his normal behavior to everybody's annoyance. But House was House and House would stay House and no amount of groveling would change that.
Author's Note: Finished. So how did you like it? Review please. It's just a button click away. Please? Virtual cookies to everyone who does leave a review.