Mazoku by Michaela Wills
They don't understand me.
None of them know what a mazoku is really like on the inside. The gold dragons have said that we feed off the dark emotions of others. This I won't deny. However, they choose not to take the concept far enough.
Mazoku feel emotion and feed on it. However, there is no discrimination of emotion. We are empaths at the highest, most refined level. We feed on both kinds of emotions: positive and negative. The only requirement in high intensity emotion.
But which kind of emotion is easier to cause? Negative, of course. Surely, I could expend energy among my travelling companions trying the get them to put off enough positive, happy energy to satisfy me, but most of the time it's not worth the trouble. Half the time they make themselves miserable anyhow.
For example, if I wanted to feed on Amelia, it's extremely easy to infuriate her. Just mention anything she finds against the nature of Right and Just and you have an immediate, high energy rant. A perfect feast. Hmm? What was that? Oh yes, about those.
Well, put yourself in my place. In the face of such blatant prejudgement and sicken naivete and singlemindedness, you would have cringed too. I am highly of the opinion that if Amelia had begun yelling "Love life!" at Lina, she would have been beaten. Zelgadis would have rolled his eyes and knock her flat, Filia would have screamed back at her. You see my point here? No one would appreciate her 'efforts'. No, not even Gourry, if he understood what was going on. I was perfectly and naturally justified to act in that manner. It has nothing to do with my feeding preferences.
Now as for Amelia, making her extremely happy is harder. Now I mean significantly more happy than in her usual state of mind. The everyday happiness doesn't put off any energy I can feed because it's a resting state for Amelia.
The best idea I can come up with is to lock her in a room with Zelgadis and make escape impossible. Amelia would be very happy, however, Zelgadis would not be so thrilled. Amelia knows this and would expend precious energy trying to escape and upon the discovery there is no escape, would try to bury her happiness to suit Zelgadis' impending dark mood. This is not a happy feast of emotions. This is a mix of confusion, anger from Zelgadis, discontent and at the bottom of the stack, happiness.
Surely, Amelia would capulate eventually, but she would take some considerable time. Zelgadis would take even longer to become happy with his situation, if that ever would happen, golem-boy has a considerable stubborn streak.
You see the problem? Even when trying to create positive emotion, negative ones are bound to pop up. Most mazoku like both kinds of energy, so it really doesn't matter. It's like the difference between apple pie and and fruit tart. You like both, you'll eat both and love eating both. Truth is variety is best.
I personally like cheesecake.
Confusion and surprise are my favorite treats. Lina-tachi provide me many opportunities to create surprise and confusion. Gourry is a constant source of confusion, the boy just can't seem to help it. I don't even have to try with him. Amelia provides a pretty steady source of positive 'fruit tart' and Zelgadis is the opposite, supplying more angst and apple pie than I could ever want. Filia is more than apt at picking up the slack in the apple pie department if Zelgadis is up. Between myself and the gang, Filia is in a nearly constant state of shock, angst or rapture. Well, rapture being when I'm not around. Hmm? Oh that. Ummm, sore wa himistu desu!
Lina is the most interesting of the group. Provide food or bandits and I have fruit tart. Get Gourry to say something silly or mention Luna, instant apple pie. And if I'm in the mood for cheesecake, well, all I have to do is drop in and I have a treat of that kind. And then there's . . . well . . .
You see . . .
Mazoku can feel too. Sometimes our own emotions taste best of all, because they are ours and ours alone. Many mazoku cause events that they know will affect them in an emotional way to get that feeling. Consider it the deepest, richest chocolate the world can offer. Call it masochistic if you like, but I consider it nothing of the sort.
If you'll recall my fondness for 'cheesecake', then consider this. In thousands of years without tasting my own surprise, someone caused me to, not very long ago. Not even once, but twice! I shouldn't have been surprised by it, she's a smart girl. Yet I was.
The first time, when Lina conned me out of my Bloodstones, I was surprised. I knew the girl carried more than met the eye, but I never realized exactly what. I guess I simply hadn't known her long enough. I'll guarantee that this was an amazing treat. As I tasted in rare combination of deep, rich chocolate and cheesecake, I was suddenly assaulted by Lina's high intensity shot of raspberry and peaches as she realized she could spellcast again. Granted, the whole point of the exercise was to have Lina end up with the Bloodstones, it was the manner in which she got them that surprised me.
Everyone's 'happy' energy tastes different. Amelia's makes me think of cherries and apples. Gourry is larger fruit, like watermelon and honeydew. Zelgadis reminds me of slighty tart fruits, blackberry and blueberry to give an example. Filia is an exotic, rare treat of the tropical variety, her happiness being pineapple, guava and mango. Lina reminds me of raspberries and peaches, an interesting combination, much like her.
This was amazing in and of itself. I'm surprised so rarely. It was the second instance that really sent me for a loop.
Now, maybe there's someone who does understand me. Not innately, mind you, but she has grasped what I am as a mazoku and as a being. Beyond that I realized to my surprise that she accepts me; Xellos, as simply Xellos.
Sure she insults me and calls me a fruitcake like the rest, but her understanding doesn't change. She accepts that I may use her and in fact uses me too, as she so aptly stated. It's not I never noticed before, I knew.
What surprised me was the calm (yes calm, this is Lina we're talking about) acceptance of my supposed betrayal as Filia balked at so fully. It would appear Lina knows my nature and not only understands, but accepts it. Her emotions told me so. She was supressing no rage at all, not that she would supress it. She seemed to have expected it.
Her calm demeanor, inside and out. Her sudden display of acceptance is what surprised me. Now, I'm a guardian of my expression, I will be the first to tell you I didn't looked surprised or at the least astonished.
That doesn't change the fact that I was.
And suddenly I was tasting a wonderful sensation of deep chocolate and cheesecake, again. Just tasting chocolate cheesecake so soon after the last instance made the sensation all the stronger. I'll tell you this, I haven't had a snack so wonderfully filling in a long time. A rare treat, my own surprise.
Since then, I've come to discover that she, and her friends in general, can all cause me some surprise. Those two instances are pretty much the beginning. Perhaps you've wondered why I follow around Lina-tachi. The variety of high emotion in that group in excellent for one and I am under orders, two.
Three, Lina has proven that she understands the way I work. In the hundreds of years that I've lived, finding people who understand and accept a mazoku is rare. Half the time mazoku don't understand other mazoku. Perhaps it is something in the Inverse line. Luna, after all, is a very intriguing person and rather adept at understand human nature, dragon nature, and even some mazoku nature.
Oh? Well of course I've met Luna-chan. How you ask? I would say 'Sora wa himistu desu." but let's leave it as the Knight of Ceiphied is destined to cross paths with more than one mazoku. Again, much like Lina.
And reason number four . . . sore wa himistu desu! I enjoy that answer too much and I'm not the kind of mazoku to go without a few secret of my own.
The time will come when the spark of life from this group will fade and pass. In the meantime, I will enjoy their company and their emotion, not to mention my own.