Wait, What?

Summary: "A story full of –" Hermione was cut off. The camera turned to Draco. "Oh, c'mon, just read it."

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one that you recognize in this fan fiction. Have a jolly good day, sir!

"That is why unicorns never show themselves to the muggles," droned the voice of Professor Binns. It seemed that only Hermione Granger was the one scribbling away on her parchment, writing every single word he said, while the rest looked drowsily at the ticking clock every now and then, hoping that time would become faster so that they could get out of the horrid class.

"Alright, class dismissed!" Professor Binns announced. Almost everyone practically scrambled out there, leaving The Golden Trio behind.

"Double Potions next," grumbled Ron. "What a good way to finish off a Monday."

Hermione, who was walking in front of the other two boys, stopped in her tracks, nearly knocking the three of them down. She turned to face them and said, "Ronald, you should be thankful that you are studying. Just think of all the other poor children who aren't able to study! I am –"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, 'Mione. Can we go now?"

They started to walk again, in the direction of the dungeons. Opening the door to the classroom, Snape greeted them with a sneer.

"Well, well, I see that the famous Potter and the know-it-all Granger are late. I shouldn't be surprised at the weasel, though."

Hermione's eyes widened. "But Professor, we're the first ones to arrive!"

"Why, Miss Granger, the class ended an hour ago."

Harry glared at his best friend. "I knew we shouldn't have stopped to get ice cream and to watch my last movie."

Snape gasped. "Oh, my God! You've watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2? Was it good? Was I like, so uh-may-zing?"

Harry hugged the greasy-haired man, conjuring up some shampoo and conditioner and pouring it all over Snape's head. "Thank you. Although, it kind of creeps me how you used to fancy my mother." He shuddered and backed away, smiling proudly at his work. Snape's hair was now fabulous!

Strutting out of the room like a supermodel, Snape made all the ladies' knees wobble. He. Was. FABULOUSO.

Then, a huge explosion suddenly happened outside. The trio ran to where it happened and saw in the sky a huge, red heart that said, "I LOVE YOU, HERMIONE."

Draco Malfoy came swooping down with his broom, stopping in front of his soon-to-be wife. "Hey, babe."

Hermione's eyes sparkled with tears. "I love you, too, Drakey. Let's go to a meadow and skip happily together, then, we can ride pink fluffy unicorns, who are dancing on rainbows."

Ginny Weasley swept Harry off his feet. "Baby, you light up my world like nobody else. Let's go to the moon and live there 'til the end of time."

And so, The Boy Who Lived vanished forever.

Dear Diary,

I wish Taylor Lautner would notice me. He's so hot and handsome – OHEMGEE. HERE HE COMES. EEP.

Love,

Voldy

Taylor Lautner walked over to Voldemort, in slow motion, his hair flowing in the wind. Then, they woke up in Vegas, with wedding rings both on their left ring finger.

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the gift. I have sent my cookies and milk to you.

~ Voldy

Ron sighed sadly. Everyone was finding their true love, while he sat there, in the rain, tears running down his chubby cheeks. What was he supposed to do now? Should he give up or should he just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?

I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD... YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, UNDRESS ME ANYWHERE!

Ron opened his phone and saw a text from Lavander.

hey, bby. haws ur luv life? i'm ready & available any tym u need me.

Ron smiled happily and Apparated to Lavander's flat.

"And so, kids, that's how I met your father," finished off Barney Stinson. He spotted his son, Luke, and yelled, "LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER. NOW, GO TO BED, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!"