Author's Notes: Hey everyone, I'm back here with another drabble/one-shot. It's shocking how many of these I've been writing lately, but I've just been in the mood to write them. I've been enjoying season 4 so far, and I can't wait to see what else comes. Now normally, I have a hard time writing Leo, but I think I did a pretty good job here. Anyways, thank you for all the support! Happy Reading! ^.^
Journal entry #67.
It's been two months, at least I'm pretty sure of that, since we've started this journey. Keeping track of time is hard, since I keep getting the dates mixed up, and it doesn't help that I write multiple entries a day sometimes. Well, it's just things haven't been the easiest, but that's nothing new.
I just woke up, but my dream is still fresh in my mind. The destruction of Earth, the fights, and the weight of everything, it all came crashing down on me. My cheeks were wet with tears, but I have no one to speak to about this.
After all, what hit me hardest was when Sensei appeared before me, then laying a hand on my shoulder before embracing me. For a moment, it felt real. It felt like he was actually comforting me.
Then I woke up…
As painful as it is, I can't tell the others about this. I need to stay strong, but it's been so hard, and I feel like my heart is cracking little by little. Feelings seep out from the cracks, though I can't allow myself to break down.
But like I said, it's so hard…
Every night, for the last three weeks, he has been in my dreams. Each night, the memories come flooding back, stronger than ever. So many memories, but some are better, more rich, than others.
In fact, the earliest memory I have of Sensei is when he'd let us curl up against him for the night, tucked in by his tail. He would open a book of fairy tales, a dingy book with a few pages missing, but containing many stories. In the soft candle glow, he would read us a story that Mikey would pick out, and we would listen in awe.
Master Splinter, even then, was a loving father to us.
I can't think of a time where he truly let us down. If we scraped our knees, he'd check to see if we were alright before cleaning it. He'd tell us to be strong and that we would be just fine as he would clean the shallow cuts. Even if we would be fine, he would disinfectant any wounds we got during our early years, making sure that the sewer filth didn't cause infection.
As we got older his worries over infections died down, and his focus went elsewhere. He loved my brothers and I very much, and despite how strict training would get, he would always emit a fatherly glow.
One of the greatest feelings in the world would be warm pride that would fill my chest from his praise. Sensei wasn't just a great father, but also an amazing teacher. The older I got, the more I sought out his approval.
Even when I failed to meet my own expectations to please him, he would never hesitate to hear me out. He'd give me his wisdom and reassurance, just how I'd imagine any good father would do.
But now…
All I have now is just the memory of him. The only comfort, now when I need him the most, is the wisdom he provides me through my own memory. Even the hologram in the simulation room projects how great and honorable of a father he was to me… to my brothers.
Though, it's not the same. If only Father was here with us right now…
I miss him so much, and the responsibility, I had wanted it for so long, but not like this. Not without his guidance. This is nothing like the childish dream I had when I was younger, wanting to be like Captain Ryan. This is real life, with death a possibility on my hands–
No, I need to stop this.
He's still here in spirit and back on Earth. Once this is over, and the Earth is saved, I hope to do him proud.
No, I will do him proud, and I will say to him, "thank you–Thank you for all the love and support you have given us, even when things got tough."
And no matter what, when I see him again, I'll make sure to say this:
"Father, I love you."
But for now, I need to focus on the path that lies before me. We need to save the Earth before I can tell him any of that. And we will, because even now, he's still with me, with all of us, providing strength.
-End of log.