Kylo Ren hates sand.

It's coarse, and rough, and irritating. It also tends to be accompanied by ridiculous waves of heat. He did not come prepared for this weather either, and he really should have known better. He's far too hot, and as he sweats, his clothes end up sticking to him in the most uncomfortable way. At night, a deathly chill sets across the planet, and he finds himself frozen to the bone. He's barely on the planet for more than two days when he decides that it will drive him insane.

More insane than he already was, at least.

What the hell was he thinking, deflecting from the First Order? And coming to Jakku, of all places? He definitely had his reasons, good reasons, at that, but it did not make his plans any less asinine.

They would find him. Of that he was sure. But the outer rim was a vast wasteland, and he had bought himself at least a few months of safety having chosen such a pitiful planet - it was one of the last places anyone would dare look for him. An insult if they did, really.

And when they did... He would be prepared. To flee, to fight, whatever was demanded of him when the time came.

He must protect him. As of now, he was his reason, his world, and as much as he loathed to admit it, his light.

"Daddy!"

It's a shrill cry, but not one that screams immediate danger, so Kylo takes his time peeling himself off of his makeshift bed. It's late in the afternoon, which means it's just as insufferably hot inside as it would be out in the open, but the darkness that the downed Hellhound Two offers is at least better than the glare of the sun.

There's a creak of metal, and he steps outside into the desert. It's blinding, and before he can become accustomed to it, he finds his arms full of his son. He's squealing happily, which is an instantaneous headache for him, but he draws him close regardless and presses a kiss to his temple. "Where's Rey?"

Anakin squirms but then grins, and points towards a hill. "Go see!"

"See what?" Kylo asks, kneeling down and allowing him to gather his footing. He immediately bolts away, kicking up sand in his wake, and Kylo has no choice but to stumble after him.

Two years did nothing to change his opinion on sand.

He climbs up the sand dune, cursing the entire way, and is greeted by the sight of his son bounced excitedly towards a small droid. Rey is kneeling before it, talking to it calmly, her expression one of uncertainty but also a twinge of fascination. That spells nothing but trouble for Kylo.

Rey looks up at their approach and offers a small smile. It's apologetic and Kylo's expression immediately turns into one of distaste. He knows Rey's look all too well, and he knows it means he's not going to like the outcome.

"Don't tell me-."

"We have an extra roommate for the night," Rey says, and despite the casual tone of her voice, it doesn't leave room for argument. Not that Kylo could argue - he and his son had been an "extra roommate" for just over two years now. Rey turns to Anakin, whose eyes have lit up in pure excitement, "You think we could make room for one more, Ani Banani?"

Kylo rolls his eyes at the petname. Anakin just nods enthusiastically, before turning his full attention to the droid. The droid beeps and Anakin mimics the noise crudely.

It's going to be a long night.

Kylo can't exactly blame his son for his enthusiasm when it comes to his newfound friend. Even he, growing up the resistance, was surrounded by the children of other resistance members. He had a best friend at the resistance base, and even after being sent to train with his uncle, had the other children to talk to.

Anakin had no one except Rey and himself.

It was not ideal, but most of the children on Jakku shared the same fate. Many of them only met at the marketplace as their parents traded in their scavenged good for rations. Anakin was not even allowed this, as Kylo refused to be seen at the marketplace, and he did not allow Rey to take him alone.

It was impossible that anyone would be looking for him. Besides Rey, no one knew he existed. But when the First Order came for him - and they would come for him - Anakin must be at his side so that he could protect him.

More than once he had entertained the thought of leaving this planet, of leaving Anakin behind in Rey's care. Rey would take care of him, she loved him. Kylo was sure of that, at least. But, should he leave, he would have nowhere to go. Kylo could never return to the dark side, for fear of what Snoke would find in his mind. What he would do with the knowledge of his son, what he would do to Anakin...and to Rey, he conceded, because even he could not deny that Rey had wormed her way into his heart just as Anakin had, and he knew Snoke would not pass up tormenting Kylo with everything he cares about.

He couldn't do it.

He wanted to. Every time he looked in his eyes he was reminded of the innocent lives he had ended, of his betrayal of the light to the dark. His eyes, so much like his fathers, but innocent and naive and unknowing, drew Kylo to the light. But not enough. The dark was still there, a dull throb he could not resist, that raged war upon the light.

Many nights were spent sleepless, as dreams of his past and nightmares of his future haunted him. It was at these moments, where there was nothing to fill the emptiness but the sound of breathing, that the dark nearly won. Just as he found himself about to be swallowed by it, his hand twitching for the lightsaber he was never able to let go of, small hands would reach out and wrap around his fingers, and the body beside him would tuck himself further into his side.

Anakin made it worth it, made the struggle less painful. Because of him, he won each battle. Not the light, or the dark, but him. When he worries over him, it is his own worry. When he is angry, it is not because of the Force pulling at him from each angle, but because Anakin refuses to eat the pitiful rations they consider dinner. When he is happy, it is because his son is happy.

It is because of this, that when Anakin clings to him and stares up at him with those steel blue eyes, he gives in and agrees to accompany Rey and BB-8 to the marketplace to see the droid off. Kylo waits until he is the only one remaining in the Hellhound Two to withdraw his lightsaber from the vent he had hidden it in. For a moment, he runs his hands over its surface and the weight is a strange comfort. He moves to turn it on, hesitates and instead clips it to his side, where his tunic hangs over and hides it from sight.

When Kylo submerges from the Walker, Rey has somehow managed to wrangle the droid onto her speeder, and Anakin is perched in her lap, bouncing impatiently. Rey holds out a hand as Kylo approaches, but Kylo waves it off and slips onto the speeder behind her. It's uncomfortable; the speeder was built for one, maybe two people maximum, but it means they don't have to walk, so Kylo can live with it.

The marketplace was everything Kylo had imagined it would be, which was admittedly not much. Shops littered the square, people flitting between them trading the little they had. Kylo slips off the speeder and holds his arms out for Anakin. Rey passes the squirming child down to his father, before hopping off and helping the droid down.

"BB-8's going to come with me to trade," Rey says, and the droid gives an affirmative series of beeps. Kylo has already pulled Anakin protectively to his chest, and the toddler seems to realize that he will not be able to follow his robot friend. Anakin's face falls, but only for a moment before Rey assures him, "We'll be back here soon enough to say goodbye. I think we got some good stuff. Maybe we could get a treat."

Anakin's eyes light up, and Kylo doesn't bother correct that nothing found on this dustball of a planet could ever be considered a treat. Perhaps one day, when the First Order is nothing but a distant memory, and he no longer had to hide Anakin's existence, he could show both him and Rey a true treat.

Instead, he turns and begins to walk towards the stalls. They were heavily populated, and he was hopeful that he could wander without being noticed or recognized. It didn't prevent him from being antsy, though, twitching whenever someone so much as glanced in his direction.

It took all of Kylo's willpower not to attack the moment someone brushed his shoulder, so he instead turned to focus on his son, who seemed utterly fascinated by everything he was seeing. Anakin often stopped him with a gentle tug, questioning what each item is. Kylo carefully explained them, and though many of the explanations escaped the understanding of a toddler, Anakin nodded wisely in response.

The next half an hour passes as such until Anakin has seen everything and has grown bored. At this point, he is drifting in his arms and Kylo steps out of the crowds and into the shade as Anakin rests his head on his shoulder.

It's strange, being with people again, but the novelty wears off ridiculously quickly as the sounds of gunfire suddenly assault his ears. Anakin is jostled from his nap and looks up at him in a panic. His tiny fists clench the front of Kylo's robes, and he knew he shouldn't have come, shouldn't have let Anakin beg his way here, shouldn't have let Rey convince him that it would be okay-

But they weren't firing at him. The tent he had ducked behind remained blissfully in one piece though that meant nothing at this point. The First Order would not stop until they got what they came for, and he was not safe here. He turned to run, but... where was there to run? There was nothing, nothing but desert and sand and fighter jets he could never hope to outrun.

"Daddy?" Anakin asks, and he reaches out to press a tiny palm against Kylo's cheek. He has never seen him so flustered, let alone as panicked as he was, and he could see his own fear reflecting in Anakin's eyes. "What's happening?"

Nothing, he wants to say, but the words get caught in his throat. Instead, he just shakes his head. "I'll protect you."

"Where's auntie Rey?" He asks immediately after, seemingly comforted by his father's promise of protection. Kylo feels his heart clench but simply shakes his head. His priority is Anakin and only Anakin. So long as he survived, no one else mattered.

"She can handle herself," Kylo assures him, and it's not even second later when the explosion erupts behind them. He's immediately in warrior mode, and his hand reaches for his lightsaber, despite its uselessness in this situation. Just as he calls for it, urging it to jump from its sleeve to his palm, a hand fills the emptiness and tugs, hard.

"Hurry up!" It's Rey, and she's followed by a strangely familiar man and a panicking droid. Kylo finds himself following Rey, kicking up sand as they bolt toward one of the many abandoned ships. Their target is blown up immediately, but Rey handles the situation startlingly well, instantly changing direction. Within moments, they are aboard a ship and then they are in the air.

Kylo flings himself into the copilot seat next to Rey, still clutching to his son with one arm whilst following Rey's orders.

He had always pictured this, his flee from the First Order. While he had sometimes entertained the thought of Rey coming along, it had never been like this, however; with a droid and a stranger. And they had been coming after him, not-

Who were they coming after?

He turns his gaze to the droid and hears the stranger shout in the background. It had to be one of them, and when he found out... But he, unfortunately, could not focus on strangling the one who had stolen his son's peaceful life from him right now. He had other things to worry about.

"Kylo! Shields up, now!" Rey screams, the panic apparent in her voice. Kylo swivels to activate the shields and from the back of the ship he hears the stranger choke out,

"Kylo? Kylo Ren?"