This Is Enough…
After 5 years of undergrad work and working part time in a Veterinary Clinic, Lucas Friar had finally submitted an application to the NYU School of Veterinary Medicine. He had been waiting for a couple of weeks to hear whether or not he had been accepted. He had just received the letter earlier in the week and found out he hadn't been accepted. He and Riley have been married for 2 years at this point they were 24 and 23 years old, respectively. Riley had received her degree in Education a year ago and has been working as a middle school English teacher at good old John Quincy Adams Middle School for the last year. Her and Lucas were currently expecting their first child, a boy, in a few months. They were still friends with Maya, Farkle, Zay and Smackle. After he found out he hadn't been accepted to Vet School he has been depressed and feeling like a failure. He thinks he isn't worthy of Riley and she tries to make him see how fortunate they are.
Ever since Lucas found out he had not been accepted to Vet School he feels out of sorts with everything in his life. He just doesn't feel worthy of all the things he has and is worrying about how he and Riley are going to survive with a new baby. Nothing had really changed for them financially. She had her job as a teacher and he still had his part-time vet tech job at the local animal clinic. They got lucky on their rent. Cory and Topanga now owned the building in which they lived and rented Lucas and Riley a small two bedroom apartment with a big break on the rent. Of course living in New York City wasn't cheap at all. They didn't own a car. They took the subway, bus or walked wherever they went. Every once in a while when needed they took a taxi. Life for Riley and Lucas was fairly simple, but Lucas wanted to give Riley a house and a car and the life he felt she deserved. He needed to be in vet school to become a doctor and make enough money with some to spare.
Lucas eventually got to the point where he wouldn't leave their apartment. He just felt so sorry for himself that was all he could see. Yea, he would go to work, but at the end of the day he would just come home and watch TV. He was even pulling away from Riley. She would come home and try to talk to him, but he would just pull away and tell her he was sorry that he failed her and that she deserved someone better. He told her he was sorry that they had to bring a baby into this world that would have a failure for a father. It was at this point that Riley had had enough!
Riley gets home before Lucas the next day and has practiced what she wants to say to him. She fixes dinner and waits. Lucas walks through the door and sees that dinner is on the table. He tells her he is gonna go wash up and that he will be right out. She is waiting for him at the table and they fix their plates and eat dinner in silence. Lucas has barely touched anything on his plate. At this point Riley puts her fork down and asks Lucas, "why exactly do you think I am not worthy of you?" Lucas wasn't expecting that question as he thought she had been ignoring his rants for the most part. Lucas took a drink of his water and cleared his throat and said, "Riley, there are so many things that I wanted to do for you and our family and now I just feel like I will never be able to do those things for you. I feel like I have let you down. Remember all the things that we talked about for our future. You a teacher and me a veterinarian. We were gonna have a couple kids and have a nice place to live and just be happy for the rest of our lives. If I don't get into vet school and I'm unable to give you those things how can we have that future? How will our son be able to look at me and be proud of his father if I can't do the one thing I dreamed about for years?"
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She contemplates what he is saying and wonders how he can feel the way he does. Their lives are blessed beyond measure because they have each other and he has worked so hard to get to where he is, she doesn't need anything but him and their son. She has to make him see that what they have is enough for her and that it is him and not what he does for a living or what he can provide for them that is what she needs.
"Lucas, do you really think that all that matters to me? Do you really think I care about money and things? That I only need that to be happy? I have been happy ever since that day in the ski lodge all those years ago, the day that you gave me that jelly bean and told me that you choose me and that you hoped I would choose you too. Lucas, I chose you and I choose this life that we have. I choose this baby boy that we are about to welcome into this world." She takes his hands and places them on her stomach and holds them there, "Lucas, look around at how blessed we are? We are gonna have this little guy and he is going to love his daddy and I hope he has your smile and your eyes. I hope he turns out to be just like you, because if he does then he will be one of the best people in the world." Lucas started rubbing small circles on her belly, contemplating everything she is saying. We are blessed with family and friends that love us unconditionally, people that we love. Our parents love us and have always supported us no matter what we do. Our friends would do anything for us. This child will have more people to love and spoil him than most do. I know things are going to be tight financially, but we won't be the only people that have struggled to make ends meet. I'm sure your boss at the clinic will give you more hours if you ask. You're about do for a raise too. You are not a disappointment to anyone. You work so hard. I love that you want to give us all those things, but honestly all I need is you. And this vet school thing is just a small set back. There is next year and I am certain you will get in. I just need to know that we are enough for you. Are we?"
Deep in thought and lost in her eyes, he realized that he had his whole world right in front of him. What was wrong with him? How could he be so stupid as to wallow in his own self pity? What was he thinking. Riley was right, all he had to do was look around to see how lucky he was. He had family, friends, a roof over his head and the love his life to share it all with and the birth of their son to look forward too. "Riley, you and this life we have are enough for me and I'm so sorry that I have been so down and feeling sorry for myself. I guess I just forgot how very lucky I am. I love you, Riley and I love the life we share together, there is nothing I want more than to be with you and this little boy, we are so lucky and I guess I just needed you to remind me. Thank you for that. She smiled up at him as he gave her a sweet kiss and gathered her in his arms…this was all he needed…this was enough.