Sleepless Confusion

I do not own "Charmed" or sadly any of its characters. Give thanks for the show to Spelling, Kern and Burge. I just love to write about them so please don't sue – it's all love!

Takes place between "Pardon my Past" and "Send me a Sign (?)" in season two. Piper debates whether she wants to be with Leo or Dan…and her heart compares the two lovers. Rated M, just in case. Stars Piper, Leo and Dan – filled with angst and romance.

The wind howled lightly through the night, causing tree branches to barely scratch at the window panes all over the city. The noise barely disturbed most of the sleepers in San Francisco, perhaps only stirring their dreams. Unfortunately for Piper Halliwell, the rapping was like ragged nails scraping across a chalkboard.

Her brown eyes glared at the bedroom ceiling, realizing it wasn't the weather's fault she was awake. She glanced at the slumbering, snoring form beside her. It wasn't Dan's fault either – though his snoring was one of his more annoying habits.

Her mind was simply too confused and whirled to let her sleep. Only hours earlier, as her and her sisters had fought to save Phoebe from an immortal warlock, Leo had dropped a bombshell. Apparently, they had been lovers in a past life. Probably more than one.

How could he not tell her about something so huge? Not only did it make her feel even more guilty for choosing Dan over Leo, but it – it made her start to realize how much she actually did love Leo.

Piper had been dodging the idea for weeks, scattering her thoughts like a cyclone. She finally realized it was Leo who held her heart strings – not Dan. When he had lost his angelic whitelighter wings to save her life, the strings were tugged harder. Now seeing him everyday at work at her club, P3, caused her head to spin and her heart to lurch.

She didn't understand it. All her life she had just wanted to be normal - to fit in. Maybe it was because older sister Prue had been such a star while younger sister Phoebe had been such a rebel. Piper had only ever wanted to be the plain, normal, level-headed girl that paid her bills on time and took out life insurance. She imagined herself marrying and settling down in that perfect Rockwell house complete with white picket fence. All she had wanted was a happily ever after and a fade to black.

Then suddenly, her whole world was knocked upside down when she realized she and her sisters were not only witches, but the infamous Charmed Ones. She could almost see her white picket fence becoming old and dusty, the paint chipping away until only the brown wood was exposed. Piper then decided to cling harder to that fairy tale dream just to balance out the chaotic demon-fighting in her regular life. That was why she had pursued Dan and that was why she had stayed with him. She had just wanted to be happy, blissful and normal like other women in the world.

Piper sighed and rolled onto her side. Leo had already been in her life when she met Dan, the new next-door neighbor. Yet, that time her relationship with Leo was already unraveling at the seams, the threads becoming strained and taut. How could she love a man who had to orb away at a moment's notice to save a witch in trouble? He could be a savior to all his many charges, but he could never spare a single night alone with her. Piper had then come to the decision that she would have a normal life if she had to claw it out of the ground with her bare hands. That life meant Dan…and not Leo.

Yet, now Leo was mortal now – just like Dan. What if he got his wings back? Would she love him any less? How normal was normal anyway? She was a freaking witch for Pete's sake! Martha Stewart did not exactly invite them onto her talk show. Her life couldn't be more unusual – no matter how hard she tried to fight it.

Sighing again with frustration, Piper rolled onto her other side, knowing nothing would wake Dan when his snoring began to sound like a bulldog growling over a plate of food. She looked at him in the dark as if seeing him for the first time. He lay on his back, his brown hair tousled over his forehead, the black bed sheet pulled haphazardly over his strong bare stomach. His parted mouth was open as he snored and fresh beard stubble already grazed his cheeks and chin.

Piper frowned. She did love Dan, but – it never seemed to be enough. He never made her tremble like Leo did. Just being in Leo's presence sometimes caused her heart to beat so fast she thought she'd have a heart attack. Dan never made her want to collapse with desire like Leo did. Leo's kisses always made her feel as if she were being transported to some secret time and place – a world that was only known to each other. Most importantly, Dan never made her heart physically ache with love and desire as Leo did…and still did now.

She thought back to their first kiss. The one only she remembered. Leo had just been the girls' handyman back then as he still kept his whitelighter side a secret from them. Piper had been attracted to him since the day she first met him. Even then just being in his presence caused her to tremble like a school girl on her first date. She wasn't the most experienced woman in love, but she had recognized that he had awakened feelings in her that were deep, meaningful and eternal.

Prue had cast a truth spell over herself and her sisters to see if her former boyfriend, Andy Trudeau, would still love her if he knew that she was a witch. Anything the girls asked would be answered with the truth – anything they were asked would be answered with the truth. The only catch was that the spell only lasted 24 hours…and everyone, but the girls, would forget what had happened.

Piper just hadn't been able to resist. Leo had walked into the conservatory, slightly sweaty from working on their troublesome plumping. His dirty blonde hair had been tousled as if he had just run his hands through it. Feeling probably artificial confidence from the spell, Piper asked what he thought of her.

"You have beautiful eyes," he had murmured, a slight smile on his handsome face. That look of desire had melted Piper to the core. Seeing the opportunity, she made the first move…and kissed him.

The kiss should have been awkward and clumsy as the pair learned to adjust to each other's mouths, bodies, etc. Instead, Piper's heart practically stopped when she touched his lips. Warmth cascaded down her skin as if doused with all of the sun's rays. When his warm, gentle lips kissed her in return, she felt nothing but happiness that he reciprocated her feelings. His hands caressed her cheek as she pressed herself against his body. Time had literally stopped for her – and not thanks to her special powers. She could have spent an eternity just kissing him – without all the good bits that usually happened afterward.

Piper slowly rubbed her soft lips with her fingers as if she could still taste his kisses. On some deep level, she thought she could. Leo was a kind, generous lover – always careful to satisfy her needs, not just his own. After sex, he never just dropped off to sleep, he would always cuddle with her and they would talk about everything and anything. Sometimes it didn't even take that much effort to start him back up again. He always seemed unable to drink up enough of her love and her body.

Piper looked at Dan's profile. Dan was never the lover Leo had been. His kisses were either too harsh or too weak. Making love with him was usually quick and to the point and the night usually ended with him drifting off to sleep. Piper was ok with that kind of love life. He was a sweet, kind man – who needed X rated material every night anyway? Yet, it wasn't just that. She had known since their first time together that it just wasn't the same as it had been with Leo. Dan never seemed to touch her soul.

A few hours earlier, after a late dinner, the two had stumbled into the bedroom. Piper had tried to focus, to concentrate, but her mind still reeled from Leo's revelation. She just couldn't get into the act and had had to resort to a little acting. Dan hadn't even noticed, rolling off of her to cuddle a little. She had tried to get him to talk to her, but he had put her off saying he had an early appointment in the morning. She had just wanted some assurance that she had made the right decision by choosing him over Leo. Now she was only more confused than ever.

Piper rolled onto her back, thinking again of the day. Phoebe had gone back into her past life to save her present one. Apparently, she, Prue and Piper had been cousin witches in the '20's. Dan had been Piper's piano playing husband, but Leo had been her lover. Jeez, even her past lives where more complicated than an Aaron Spelling show.

Her mind wandered to the idea of her past lives. She cocked her head, wondering what those lives had been like. Maybe she should have pumped Leo for more information before pushing him out of the house earlier like an unwanted pest. Was it always her, Dan and Leo? Was she ever married to Leo? Did they ever have children? Her mind drifted to her own trip to the future and the daughter she had met there. Something tugged deep in her heart as she thought of that little girl. Did those other children look like Melinda?

She suddenly giggled, smothering it with the back of her hand. Was Leo ever a pirate who had to save her – a damsel in distress? She could just see him swinging from a rope to snatch her from the hands of some evil villain. Was she once a princess in love with a lowly peasant farmer named Leo? Was he ever a cowboy in love with the daughter of wealthy rancher? She giggled again, grinning. Whatever past lives they had had, she bet Leo had a career where he used his hands. God, he was so good with them – rough, yet gentle and soothing. Dan's hands were all clumsy and harsh. He tended to grab rather than caress tenderly.

Piper rolled over again, away from Dan, pulling the sheets up to her chin. She closed her eyes as she thought of Leo sleeping in a storage room at P3. She smiled, imagining him asleep on the worn leather couch. His hair would be tousled and mussed, his breath slow, deep and even. Lord, just even imagining Leo asleep made Piper want to crawl into bed next to him.

Mischievously, Piper's smile broadened. She was the owner of the club after all. She could go over now with some lame excuse and knock on his door. Maybe she needed help with demons or help with the club. She could walk right in, loving the look of confusion that would take over his face. His green eyes echoed all his emotions, no matter how hard he tried to hide them. She had always been able to read him, as if she understood his soul. Dan's eyes, meanwhile, revealed nothing to her. At least, nothing she knew how to read.

Piper's tongue slowly licked her lips, wondering what Leo would taste like at that moment. His kisses always started off slow and sensual, his tongue taking time to explore every inch of her mouth before he moved onto to better things. It drove her nuts how slow he could take things, but that was the reaction she knew he wanted. He wanted to her to ache with every cell in her body until she could take no more and cried out in cosmic ecstasy.

Did Leo feel the same way when they kissed? Did he get drunk off her kisses, did he miss her lips as much as she missed his? Dan never knew how to be tender. At first, Piper had accepted the lack of passion, but now – she realized it just wasn't the same. She knew at one time sex had meant more than just sex. Dan's kisses were just not the same as Leo's.

With these thoughts electrifying her brain, Dan began to stir next to her. The snores began to trickle off as he came awake. He scratched his forehead and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Rolling over, he recognized Piper's sleek bare back. Grinning, he slid next to her, slipping her brown hair over one shoulder as he covered it with kisses. Her skin was already warm and her body trembled. Dan's smile deepened – was she dreaming about him then?

"Mmmmm…" Piper murmured, half asleep. In her dream, Leo was kissing her shoulder. She leaned back into the warm body beside her, enthralled by his touch once again. Then suddenly a rough hand slid up to her breast and gave it a squeeze. Piper's eyes flew open realizing it wasn't Leo laying beside her, but Dan. She covered her mouth, praying like hell that she hadn't cried out Leo's name.

"Sorry about earlier," Dan whispered in her ear, his hands roving aimlessly over her hip and thigh. "You wanted to talk and I brushed you off. If you want to talk now –"

Piper grinned sarcastically. She could feel a certain hardness by her thigh and knew Dan wasn't in the slightest mood for a deep conversation. That was fine with her. What would she tell him anyway? Sorry, honey, but I'm still in love with Leo? I'd rather be sleeping with Leo right now – and kissing him – and –

"Let's not talk at all," she whispered, rolling on top of him. "Actions speak louder than words anyway."

Dan grinned as Piper bent down to ravage his mouth with kisses. She closed her eyes as his hands came up to squeeze her bottom. She closed her eyes, not in desire, but because she thought of Leo.

As the pair began to make harsh love, Piper thought more and more of Leo. She suddenly yearned for him instead of Dan. She begged – wished – dreamed of Leo's hands against her skin, Leo's lips, Leo's hot breath inside of her.

Her desire for Leo made her even more excited than she had ever been with Dan. If Dan noticed, he didn't seem to mind as he slipped inside of her. She moaned, thinking of Leo, his name chanting over and over again in her mind, like an endless echo deep from her heart. She trembled – quivered – shook for Leo. When she finally climaxed, it was the most intense orgasm she had experienced in awhile – not since she had slept with Leo.

"God, that was amazing," Dan cried, pulling out of her and moving away from her. Piper quietly rolled to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers up to her shoulders. Suddenly, she felt dirty, ashamed – and guilty as hell. Dan was a good man, she shouldn't have let her mind drift away like that. She was with Dan and she just – she just had to accept it, right? She was happy now, right? Right?

"I love you, Piper," Dan murmured, kissing her ear.

"Me too," she muttered, but he didn't hear as he had already drifted off to sleep.

Oh, what was she going to do? She ran a hand through her mussed hair. Dan was the normal life she had dreamt and craved for years. Yet, Leo made her feel alive in so many ways Dan didn't even have a clue about. Leo could be mortal now, but he was still an ex-angel. That wasn't exactly white picket fence material. Then again, neither was a witch who could freeze time with her hands.

Piper closed her eyes, willing her heart to make her decision for her. As her thoughts began to drift asleep again, it finally did.

"Leo," she whispered, before drifting off completely into a dreamless, restless sleep. In the morning, she would have no memory of calling out Leo's name. Yet, things would seem clearer in her brain as she realized her decision had been made for her ages ago.

Across town the club P3 lay as dark and deserted as any other building at four in the morning. They stood like giant gray blocks, forgotten and silent until the morning sun made them come alive. Yet, inside P3, one person was not as forgotten or gray.

Leo tossed again in his sleep, the thin mismatched blankets tangling around his legs. His mind just couldn't forget the day's events. He had helped save Phoebe from her evil past life, but had his revelation scared Piper away forever?

To tell the truth, he probably should have told her earlier that they had been lovers in the past – over and over again actually. He hadn't wanted to influence her decision in the present, yet he didn't want to lose her completely either.

The anger in her face at his bombshell had cut Leo to the core. If he lost her now, he doubted he could wait to be with her in another lifetime. He had given up immortality to be with her – and yet she still chose Dan over him. He just had to wait and see how she handled this new information. Hopefully, she really would learn from her past mistakes and come back to him. If not, he doubted he could stay much longer in San Francisco. Was he just supposed to wait around as she married Dan and gave birth to his children? Just seeing her face everyday was easily the best part of his life now that he was mortal, but if he still ended up without her….The idea drove such waves of anger and jealousy throughout his stomach, he almost threw up.

Sighing, Leo rolled over again as his mind drifted back to sleep. Suddenly, he wished that Piper had made her decision right at that moment. Would she speed down the sleeping city streets to knock on his door – even at four in the morning? If she opened that door at that moment, it would probably take him all of two seconds before he launched himself at her like a wild dog in heat. His arms instinctively wrapped around his pillow as if it were Piper. God, he ached for her so much. Physically brushing past her at the club or at the manor caused a thousand warm waves to travel down his spine.

Leo grinned widely. After kissing her, he would run his hands through her hair. A man could get lost in her hair – that silky, soft texture. He would run his hands down the beloved curves of her small body. Even though he wanted her, he had to remember to be slow and gentle. He wasn't really a mad dog in heat – he was a man simply in love. He wanted to please Piper in all ways – not just physical ones. Yet, his slowness drove her wild and he wanted that experience to last forever. His entire soul cried out when he climaxed, not just his body.

His mind drifted off to sleep completely, his thoughts and heart full of Piper. Before falling completely under, he silently wished – again – that he wouldn't wake up alone. He wanted to wake up next to a familiar, sweet, soft body that he knew he would love and cherish until the day he died.

As if in answer to his wish, Leo thought he heard Piper call his name. He thought he heard her in the part of his brain that let him hear his charges. No, that was ridiculous. He was mortal now, his mind oddly quiet and silent for the first time in 60 years. Yet, a slow smile crept over his face as his heart filled with love.

She loves me after all, he thought as he finally fell completely into a deep, dreamless sleep. In the morning, he wouldn't remember hearing her call out his name. Yet, he would feel more confidant than ever that she would come back to him. He just couldn't give up the fight just yet. It soothed him to think that he didn't have to wait too much longer until she was back in his arms again – where he knew she belonged for all eternity.

THE END