Title: The Elf Princess Diaries, Vol I
Author: Aislinn of Lórien
Rating: PG-13
Genre: humour, romance, adventure
Summary: Haldir, Legolas, and Gimli . . . in Manhattan?
Author's Notes: The characters from "The Lord Of The Rings" belong to the Estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. The characters from "The Princess Diaries" belong to Meggin Cabot. None are used with permission. Any song lyrics that may be used in this work will be disclaimed in their chapter. Any Sindarin or Quenya will be translated at the end of every chapter.
--Prologue--
Lórien
3002 of the Third Age
His breath sounded unnaturally loud in the darkness.
Slowly, he crept across the floor, trying not to make a sound as he approached the cradle at the foot of the bed. Casting a cautious glance at the sleeping female form, he inched closer.
It was good that blasted mind-reading she-witch wasn't on to him yet. Of course, in another few moments, she probably would be.
Couldn't be helped.
The dark figure resettled the bag on his shoulder, and crouched over the cradle. The golden wisps on the baby's head barely reflected the moonlight that filtered through the trees.
Gingerly, he lifted the infant, blankets and all, and began to back away from the bed. Please don't cry, he thought. Please don't cry.
He was almost to the stairs when he heard the characteristic creak of a bow as it was bent.
He whirled to face a tall, blonde figure, flanked by more of the same. The lead archer had fire in his eyes.
"Put my daughter down," the blonde soldier hissed.
"'Fraid I can't do that," the skulking intruder said. "See, I need her."
Then he turned, running for the edge of the flet that sat high in the trees. As the bowmen behind him gasped, he waved his free hand wildly, chanting in some ancient tongue.
A shimmery rift opened before him. Gleefully, he plunged towards it, over the edge of the flet.
Just before he passed through it, a white-hot pain stabbed through him.
He gasped, and then was gone.
--Chapter One--
Manhattan
New York City
2003 . . . of the Sixth Age
"I can't wait for 'Return of the King' to come out!"
Brianna MacArthur grinned at her best friend, who was practically jumping up and down in her chair. Taking a sip of her Coke, she watched Shelley's brown ponytail bounce merrily. Her friend's hazel eyes were bright as she enthused about their common obsession, "The Lord Of The Rings". Their custom was to spend Saturdays, like today, at the theatre at the shopping centre near their apartment building and see "The Lord Of The Rings". They'd been doing it since "Fellowship of the Ring" had come out.
"I just really, really hope that Arwen's wedding dress isn't that hideous lime green they showed on the 'net," Shelley continued.
"I doubt it is," Bree said. "It looked more of a dark cream to me. And I highly doubt they'd put Liv in a lime green dress. That's just not her colouring. And, for another thing, I doubt elves would have the bad fashion sense to wear lime green. And how would they get it? It's the product of synthetic dyes."
"Too true," Shelley said, her tone practical. "Though I have to wonder how they got that vibrant red for Arwen's red and midnight-blue dress. The one that looks kinda like her wedding gown."
"Beats me." Brianna shrugged and shoved the last couple fries from her lunch into her mouth as she stood up. She was tall and slender, though obviously padded in all the right places. Just shy of eighteen, she turned heads everywhere she went. "Come on. The movie starts in fifteen minutes. We need to go now if we want good seats."
Shelley hopped up, clutching her last eggroll in her hand. "I just love the part where Aragorn shoves the doors open, when he arrives at Helm's Deep."
"I noticed," Brianna said dryly. Her blonde braids fell forward over her shoulders as she bent to retrieve her purse. "You only squeal like a stuck pig every time we watch that part."
"Yeah, well, you do that when Legolas slides down the stairs on the shield," Shelley pointed out.
Bree laughed. "Okay, you have a point."
"And I'm not the one who bawls like a baby when Haldir dies."
Brianna lifted a single eyebrow, focusing blue eyes on her best friend. "Well, I'm not the one who stood up in the theatre and screamed, 'Viggo, no!' when Aragorn went over the cliff."
"Hey, that was just that one time," Shelley said defensively. "I don't do that every single time. What is it with you and the elves, Bree?"
"I like elves. That's all there is to it." Brianna dropped her cup into the nearest garbage can.
"No, seriously. You've been teaching yourself Sindarin. And not just speaking it, but reading it, and writing it, too. Complete in Tengwar. And then there's your demented obsession with archery."
"Shell, I've been doing archery since I was . . . knee-high to a hobbit. Dad got me into it."
At the mention of Bree's father, who had passed away shortly before Christmas, Shelley sobered. "How are you and your mom doing?"
They'd reached the multiplex. Brianna handed their tickets to the uniformed yuppie. "We're good. I mean, all things considering. Mom got that raise at the store. She told me last night. She's now the senior buyer for her department."
Shelley was impressed. "That's cool. Hey, think she can get us discounts on our Prom dresses?"
Brianna laughed. "Actually, she probably could."
"I'm hoping Jake will ask me," Shelley said wistfully. Then she gave her friend a nudge, accompanied by a mischievous grin. "You going with Shane?"
Brianna blushed, even as she said, "Of course I'm going with Shane. He's my boyfriend. He hasn't asked yet, but he will. He's been dropping hints."
"He'd better ask quick, before Dermott does."
"As if!" Bree shuddered. "He's a total loser. I'd rather wear dead weasels on my feet."
They walked into the theatre and found seats. Bree looked at her watch. They still had a good ten minutes before the trailers would start.
"Have you decided what dress you're gonna make?" Shelley asked.
"Yeah. Mom and I went to the fabric store yesterday. I got black satin for eighty-eight cents a yard, because it was split on the fold. Which I'd been planning on doing anyway, fortunately. And I've got this gorgeous blue-purple sheer stuff for the sleeves. That reminds me, I need to find silver ribbon for the arms and neck."
Shelley pointed at the screen and the question on a slide: Who is a better movie villain, Hannibal Lecter or Darth Vader? "Darth Vader, totally!"
Then she turned to Brianna. "Tell me more."
"Well, it's gonna have this dark purpley-blue underdress thing, and the satin is going to lace up in front and back, and in the front is going to split enough to show the underdress. I'm considering putting elvish on it somewhere, or maybe mallorn leaves, like I did with my archer costume." Brianna dug into her purse and pulled out a box of chocolate covered almonds that she'd snuck in. "What are you gonna make?"
"I'm thinking about Eowyn's green dress," Shelley said thoughtfully. "Or maybe Arwen's bridge dress."
"Make Arwen's dress. Eowyn's whiny. I don't like her."
"Are we still planning to go to the POTC premiere in July?" Shelley asked.
"Totally!" Brianna said. "orlando Bloom's hot."
"What are we doing for your birthday next week?" Shelley asked.
Brianna shrugged. "Cake. Presents. Put on costumes, run through Central Park pretending to be elves. You know, the usual."
The house lights started to dim, so the girls quieted.
Brianna tried to hide a grin. She loved this movie.
----------
Later that afternoon, Brianna got off the subway across town and sprinted up the stairs to the street. She easily dodged the traffic as she crossed to the department store, and went in.
She stopped in the dresses section to gaze at the Prom dress she had her eye on. It was white satin, and would reach to her knees. A sheer overskirt split down the front, falling to the floor at the back. It was held on by delicate rhinestone straps, and adorned by more rhinestones at the empire waist.
Brianna had fallen in love with the dress the first time she'd seen it, but other than Prom, didn't have an excuse to buy it. If Shane asked her, she could probably talk her mother into buying it for her. If he didn't . . . she'd stay home and watch the extended edition of "Fellowship of the Ring". Again.
Her mother looked up when Brianna skipped into her office. Melinda MacArthur had her dark auburn hair pulled back in a bun, and her brown eyes were outlined with a pretty forest green that matched her eyeshadow and her pantsuit.
"Hi, sweetie," Melinda said. "How was the movie?"
"Great. Legolas is hot, Eowyn whines, and Haldir dies. Same as always." Brianna flung her five-ten frame into the chair across from her mother. "Shelley wants to know if you can get us discounts on Prom dresses."
Her mother laughed. "I'll see what I can do. Has Shane asked you yet?"
"No, but he will."
Melinda smiled as she leaned back in her chair and eyed her daughter.
Actually, Brianna was her daughter all but biologically. She and Jared had adopted Brianna almost eighteen years before, shortly after the discovery that Jared was sterile. They'd searched adoption agencies and orphanages, and one day, had seen a tiny, blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby bundled in a pink blanket, and they'd fallen in love with her. Adopting her had been surprisingly easy. It might have had to do with Brianna's rather . . . unusual birth defect, but the MacArthurs hadn't cared.
Brianna knew, of course, that she was adopted, but she didn't seem to care. She'd never asked about her birth parents--though there was no information on them. She'd been found, abandoned, and turned over to the orphanage.
As Brianna grew, it was obvious there was something special about her. She was never sick. When her whole class had come down with chicken pox when she was seven, Bree was the only one who hadn't caught it. She was fast, strong, and light on her feet. And she had a gift for languages, learning French by the time she was thirteen, and taking additional courses in German, Spanish, Japanese, and several concurrent enrollment classes at a local university in Welsh and Old English.
"Mom?"
Brianna's voice brought Melinda out of her revery. "Sorry, honey, I was just thinking."
She glanced at the clock on her office wall, then said, "I'm off work in fifteen minutes. Why don't you stick around till then, and we'll get Chinese for dinner? And you can show me which dress you have in mind for the prom."