~Introduction~

When I was born I was named Alexandria Lee Best, but everyone called me Lexi - and never Alex. I was born in Virginia when my dad was stationed there in the Navy. My mother was a substitute teacher, and my brother Mark was five years older than me. When I was six my father retired from the military and we moved to my parents hometown of Flint Michigan. We never went without and our childhood would have been described as "perfect".

When I was nine my "perfect" world came crashing down on me. My parents got into a car accident one snowy night in January. They were hit by a drunk driver and my father was killed instantly. My mother survived the crash but after a week in the intensive care unit she passed away.

My brother was eighteen at the time and became my legal guardian. I looked up to him all my life and now he was in charge of me. Mark had an apartment and a job waiting for him in Detroit when our parents passed so I transferred schools and went with him.

A few days after moving Mark and I met Bobby Mercer at the hockey rink. Mark and Bobby got into a fight because Mark wanted to play goalie in a pick up game. When Bobby didn't recognize him from the neighborhood he threatened to kick his ass back to where he came from. Mark kept his cool and offered a wager - the first time the opposing team scored against him he would leave Bobby alone and he'd never see his face around town again. Turns out Bobby's team won the game without letting the other team score a single point.

Bobby was adopted by Evelyn Mercer, the nicest, sweetest and most kind person in the world - everyone in town knew her. She has taken foster kids in from off the street for years and helped to turn their lives around. She didn't make model citizens out of anyone that came through her door but she taught them what it meant to be adopted, to have a family, to trust, and have loyalty for people you may have never known if you weren't in foster care.

After time Mark and Bobby became friends, partners in crime and considered one another their brother. They got into some trouble together and soon Bobby earned the name 'Michigan Mauler' from his mean hockey game, while Mark earned the privilege of always being asked if he was a Mercer brother.

While Mark and Bobby were out doing whatever it was they were doing with their days, I was in school and going over to Evelyn's house afterwards to do my homework and eat dinner. I met Bobby's two younger brothers Angel, sixteen, and Jeremiah, fourteen. What I remember most fondly about Angel and Jeremiah is having them help me with my homework over a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies Evelyn would bake for us.

The only time my brother and I saw each other was late at night when he came to pick me up from Evelyn's and take me back to our house. He was there in the morning when I left for school but I had no idea what it was he did all day - with or without Bobby. Evelyn's home became my second home, I felt safe and wanted there. Evelyn, Bobby, Angel and Jeremiah became family to me.

That spring a new boy came to live at Evelyn's. All they knew about him when he first came to the house was that he was thirteen, named Jack, and had been through a dozen foster homes since he was six. Evelyn had a hard time with Jack at first. He was quiet, he didn't trust anyone and still stole his toothbrush from the bathroom to keep in his sock drawer. Evelyn had to teach Jack, what it meant to be adopted, what it meant to have a family, and to what it meant to have a last name.

Jack and I grew up together. We went to school, studied and learned how to play guitar together. Whenever you saw Jack, you saw me and vise versa. Besides for his brothers and Evelyn I'm the only person he'd talk to about his abusive past. Around the age of sixteen Jack and I started hanging out with our brothers and getting into trouble right along with them. We learned the ropes and Bobby was teaching us the tricks dirty cops used in the city - Jack and I barely finished our junior year of high school but we had more street smarts than anyone else in class.

Bobby and I started hanging out alone a lot more once I turned sixteen also. Bobby was my first kiss, my first love, and my first sexual experience. I don't know if it was the thrill of hiding the relationship from our brothers and Evelyn, the age difference, or the fact that technically Bobby was breaking the law every time we were together but I was hooked. I couldn't get enough of him. I knew Bobby loved me, not in a "marry me tomorrow" way, but in a "I'll always be here for you" way. He told me he loved me several times and I believed him.

I remember the day Bobby left Detroit. Jack and I came home from school together and walked through the front door talking up a storm like we always did. When we noticed Bobby's bags packed and sitting by the front door we knew the day had come. Bobby told us he didn't know where he was going but that he would call and come back soon.

Jack was upset seeing his older brother leave, the brother that always made fun of him but who also protected him the most. No one understood why I was so upset to see Bobby leave however. I lied and told everyone that I was already having a bad day and that I was just being over emotional. "How could he just leave like that and not even tell me first? How could he not see me one more time? How come he didn't say 'I love you' when he hugged me for the last time?" I remember thinking that night as I cried myself to sleep.

When summer came Jeremiah moved across town with his long time girlfriend Camille. Angel, who had been living on his own for a few years but couldn't find a steady job, joined the Marines and left for basis training. With Jeremiah and Angel leaving the Mercer house it felt like I was loosing a piece of myself everyday. Jeremiah and I talked often since he was still in town, and Angel and I wrote back and forth to each other but it just didn't feel the same.

Like God was playing a cruel joke on me that summer my brother got killed in a drive by shooting gone wrong. When I called Bobby to tell him the news he sent his condolences but told me he couldn't come back to Detroit for the funeral. In a way I understood why he couldn't come but I could have used his support at another family funeral.

After Mark died I was only a little over a year away from turning eighteen and being on my own. Evelyn never officially adopted me but I moved in with her.

The day after Jack and I graduated high school we both left Detroit. Jack, like Bobby didn't know exactly where he was headed but he said as long as he had his guitar he would be fine. I went back to Flint to live with my best friend Nicole, with whom I've known since I was in kindergarten, and kept in touch with over the years.

After I left Detroit Angel and I spoke regularly, we had a lot to talk about because of my father's past in the military. Jeremiah and I also talked often, more so after he married Camille and the birth of his daughters Daniela and Amelia. Jack and I talked the most. We e-mailed each other constantly and made sure we called each other at least once a week. He was off playing in bands and performing small shows around Michigan. I tired to get out to see one or two but our schedules never synced.

As for Bobby he called me late one night a few months ago telling me that he was coming back to Detroit to visit Evelyn and wanted me to meet him. I told him I didn't want to make the drive from Flint to Detroit by myself and that I worked in the morning. I asked him to come visit me the following night instead and he agreed, telling me he would be there around eight. He told me he loved me and that he couldn't wait to see me. He never showed.