Author Note-This story is going to be A/U, as in it's going to stray from the storyline. That's my choice as a writer. I can promise now there will be topics people won't like. I've had several people request I write about these topics, and this is for them. Some won't like this. That's fine with me. Proceed with caution, and if you become disinterested in the story, stop reading. This is fiction.
The story is set during The Closer, Season 3, "Next of Kin," where the group gets stuck in an RV over Christmas. The Closer ended their season with this episode set, and I'm going to go into fantasy type land with this. These characters are not my own. I enjoy borrowing them.
He slammed the old door and threw himself down on the bed. The springs creaked, and Andy groaned. Provenza looked up from the other bed in the dingy motel room and raised his eyebrows at him.
"What? The chief still talking in that RV? Even worse, did you have to listen to Willie Rae sing Christmas carols again?" he huffed as he looked back at his crossword puzzle. He'd been frustrated with the puzzle for the last hour. The tiny Texas town had limited resources, and even finding a crossword in the run-down gas station nearby had been a challenge. He'd found one, and for the last couple hours, he'd been working through his new book.
"No, just leave me alone," Andy grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked up at the ceiling, and the silence in the room was only broken with a long, drawn out sigh from Andy.
"Something's got you irritated, and now, that's irritating me. I was perfectly content here, well," he rolled his eyes and looked around at the room. It was old and dirty, which for Provenza to notice was saying a lot. He was used to meager accommodations, but tonight's stay was almost a new low. "I was doing fine here, all by my lonesome, until you came sulking back into the room. Where have you been anyway? You've been gone hours. I've tried to sleep, and I can't. The time zones are messing me up, and this whole trip has just been a disaster from the start."
"I don't want to talk about it," Andy grumbled again. He reached behind his head, fumbling for a pillow, and when he got his hands on one, he pulled it over his face.
"Please don't die here," Provenza sputtered at him. "It's bad enough we're hauling this suspect across the country with Chief and her family. We don't have the proper paperwork, and then, of all people, Raydor was sent to join us. I can't have you pull the plug now and be left in this town to deal with getting your body back to L.A. too, so whatever you do, just wait until we get home to pull the plug on your sorry life."
"Stop talking!" Andy barked through the muffled pillow. "Don't mention her either."
"Her? Which particular 'her' do you not want me to mention? All three of the women on this trip are annoying me to no end!" Provenza exclaimed.
"Raydor! Don't talk about her. I think I'm going to be sick," he grumbled.
"Are you drinking?" Provenza now sat up and twisted so his feet were on the floor. He'd been relaxing against the bed, his back leaning against the headboard while he worked his crosswords. The drive had been taxing on everyone. It was a nightmare of a situation, stuck in an RV for days with Chief, Fritz, Willie Rae, Clay, and the suspect. He was glad Andy had wanted to go down and sit in the run-down bar and lounge area, even if the idea did seem a bit odd coming from an alcoholic. "Flynn! Answer me! Did you fall off the wagon? Did you have a drink or something?"
"No! It's worse, in a different way," Andy groaned, his face still hidden under the pillow. Provenza stood and walked over where he snatched the pillow from Andy to stare at him. He bent down so his face was in Andy's face. Andy had his eyes closed, and when he opened them, he came almost nose to nose with Provenza. "Get off me! Why are you in my face?"
"I'm checking to see if you smell like alcohol. You do, but it's not your breath. No, you just smell like cheap, stale cigarettes and alcohol because you've been sitting in a dingy bar. What is going on, Flynn? Start making some sense before I tell Chief you want to bunk with all of them," Provenza told him.
Andy shook his head, but he finally sat up, draping his arms at his side. Provenza took a step back to look at him, and Andy dropped his head. "You should have gone to that place with me. I'm blaming you for this."
"Blaming me for what? Even I have standards, and that place is a total dump. I have no interest to get drunk there, nope. I've been doing just fine here with the six pack I bought at the gas stations with my crossword puzzle. I dare say it's cleaner in this room, but it's better than the bar. Now, tell me what is irritating you now, or I'll be at that RV, knocking on the door to tell Wille Rae just how much you want to sing Christmas carols with her on the drive tomorrow," he smirked.
"I slept with her!" Andy finally bellowed, as he gestured with his arms. "What was I thinking?"
"Wait a minute," Provenza nodded and shook his head, trying to figure out the situation before he continued, "Flynn, you've been gone a couple hours. Who did you find to sleep with already? Is there some waitress? Who around here is that desperate?"
"Raydor! Are you happy? I slept with Raydor!" Andy exploded in anger. He stood and started to pace around the room, while Provenza stood there, stone-faced and ghostly white.
"Raydor? You have been drinking. There's no way you would sleep with her, much less that she would sleep with you. Raydor was His Holiness' idea of making an already awful trip even worse, sending her here to check on the suspect," Provenza grumbled. "Start making some sense, Flynn! You're drunk, aren't you?"
"I'm not drunk!" Andy turned and screamed at him. "You want the details? Fine, here it is. I slept with Radyor. Let me repeat that because I know you are old and can't hear that well." Andy leaned down toward Provenza and yelled into his ear, "I slept with Raydor! It just happened, here, tonight, in this awful place, just a few doors down in her equally dingy room. It happened, and now, I'm wondering why I was the moron who thought that was a good idea. Of all the bad ideas I've ever had, this one has to be right up there now at the top of my list." Andy ran his hand through his hair and continued to pace the room. Provenza, now speechless, sat down on the edge of his bed and just continued to stare at Andy.
Andy continued to pace over the next few moments, and finally Provenza pulled himself out of his shocked state to inquire more, "How? You two hate each other. We all hate her. I know you play the field, but how did that happen? That has to be some sort of record. She just got here earlier tonight."
"I'm well aware!" Andy yelled again, raising his hands above his head as he expressed his frustration. "I'm almost not sure how it happened too, and I probably wouldn't believe it if I hadn't just participated in the deed myself. It happened."
"Well?" Provenza asked.
"Well, I went down to the bar. That much you know. It's late, and this town is about as depressing as it gets. Leave it to Clay to find a dive like this outside of Dallas. I don't know why we couldn't stay at that much nicer one closer to the city, but oh now, we had to keep driving for the better deal. Of course, we know Raydor was sent here when Pope found out about this mess, that we had to drive the suspect across the country because we were put on the no-fly list! So, as you know, Raydor arrived here tonight, she flew into Dallas, and then, she showed up here at the park."
"Yes, I'm well aware, Flynn. I've been here to see all of that. I'm just glad we weren't asked to bunk with her, but sounds like you did anyway," Provenza let out a light choking sound as he shook his head. "You really just slept with Raydor? Even I have standards, Flynn."
"I'm aware! I thought I had standards too. So, I go into the bar, and she's there. Of course, she's there tonight. This town has nothing else going on for it. So, she's there along with around four or five other locals. I'm sure they'd been hitting on her, but she had been drinking some. She wasn't drunk, but even I was a little worried one of these morons around here would start hitting on her. I know I don't like her, but we even have standards to protect our own. I didn't want to sit with her, but I did, mainly to keep the dirt bags from drooling all over her. I mean, as much as I don't like her, she is hot," he sighed. "We're there, and at first, she tells me off, tells me she doesn't need anyone there to protect her, that she's a big girl. I tell her I'm not interested in that, but I just want to get away from you for an hour. So, we sit. We sat there in silence for almost five minutes, which was weird itself. She kept drinking her beer-by the way-she drinks beer which surprised me," he paused and shook his head. "I got my standard cranberry juice, and we just sat. A few of the vultures backed off and went back to their pool game. She and I just stared at the television over the bar, and even now, I couldn't tell you what was on it. Finally, I break the silence. I ask her about work.
"How long are you going to be here?" I sipped my drink and looked to her. She looked back at me, almost surprised I'd asked.
"Thanks to the mess you and your chief have created, I'll be with all of you for the entire drive. You are stuck with me until we are back inside the LAPD," she said in her almost uppity, sarcastic tone.
"So, you aren't just here to check in on the suspect and fly back on your broomstick to L.A.?" I asked her.
"No," she threw me this fake smile. "You are all stuck with me. Merry Christmas. Santa flew me in just for the holidays. Thanks for ruining my plans. I'm here as your present, and I know you are just all so excited to see me."
We settled back into silence for a few moments because I was pretty surprised to hear she was going to be tagging along on the rest of the trip. I mean, I knew Pope would do something stupid since he decided to send her to check on the suspect and all, but the rest of the trip? She's going to be with us for days! That makes sleeping with her even worse!" Andy exclaimed.
"How did you get from that to the horizontal tango in her room?" Provenza raised an eyebrow.
Andy shrugged, "She'd had a couple beers. I don't remember how we started talking then, but oh wait," he raised his hand and snapped his finger. I remember now. Her kid, or I guess it was one of her kids, called her. She got all weepy with the kid, and I heard her tell him, maybe a her," he frowned and shook his head before he continued, "I don't remember, but I heard her tell the kid that she'd arrived. She said the flight was all set for the kid tomorrow to go to the grandparents. So, when she finished, I asked her what was going on with that. She told me she was pretty down because she was missing Christmas with her kids. She has two of them. I knew that much from my drinking days with Jack. She was supposed to spend Christmas at home with her kids, who had come home from college, but this was going to mess up everything. When she'd been told by Pope at work today to fly here, she'd scrambled to get the kids some tickets to see the grandparents, so they weren't alone on Christmas. Remember," Andy looked at Provenza, "Jack's out of the picture."
"Well, that's a good riddance if I've heard one," Provenza scowled. "I've never liked that guy. He must see something in her to keep crawling back home to that, and she's no better. As far as I'm concerned, the two of them deserve each other. She's a miserable person, and he's his own mess."
"Yeah, whatever," Andy rolled his eyes. "She told me they've been separated a long time, and that didn't seem to stop her from what just happened. I still don't know how I was so willing."
"Oh, I'll tell you," Provenza pointed a finger at Andy, "you just couldn't resist a challenge. You never can. I might get married a lot, and that's my thing, but you, my friend, like to play with fire. It's almost like the bigger the challenge the better, and that's all I can figure with Radyor. So, how did you end up with her?"
Andy rolled his eyes, "She started getting all sappy about the holidays, and I told her I'd walk her back to her room because really, she didn't need more to drink. Like I said, she wasn't drunk, but she'd had a couple beers, and I could see things going downhill fast if she stayed there longer. She even apologized as we walked, telling me that she didn't like her personal life to be part of her work life. When we got to her door, I started to turn away, and she reached for my hand. It was this hand," he said, holding up the one that had been injured back in L.A.. She hadn't noticed my hand was injured, and then she asked about it. I told her about the chase we had where I injured it, and she just looked at it. It was almost creepy, and next thing I know, she's almost lunging at me, her lips on mine. I didn't resist it. Like I said, she's hot, and there aren't many in this town who are right now. We sort of fell into her room and into the bed. The rest," he sighed.
"You sort of fell into her room?" Provenza raised his eyebrows. "Flynn, someone had to open the door and make the conscious decision to continue with this all," he gestured.
"Yeah, she shoved the room card at me while she was fumbling with her clothes, my clothes," he said and rolled his eyes. "I mean, we didn't really take long, if you get my drift. It just happened. Then, it was over. I don't even get it, other than to say we were two adults, irritated with our current situation, stuck here in this awful motel, and it just happened. It's not like this is a five-star resort where we had some suite. Her room looks just like this, and quite frankly, I'd like to forget everything about this town and trip."
"Spare me the nitty gritty," Provenza flashed a sarcastic scowl at Andy and shook his head. "How did it end? Really, Flynn, of all the people, it had to be her? She's going to make our lives miserable at work. You do realize that, don't you?"
"I mean, yeah," he tried to hide a grin, "we had a good time while it lasted. Look, when it was over, she just got up and started for the bathroom. She almost whispered, "I think you should go," as she gathered her clothing. She disappeared into the bathroom, and I did what she suggested. I got my things and left. I was still putting on my socks outside as I walked to our room.
"You just left her? Flynn, I know you, and I almost can't believe this! It's like one of those questions about if this was the last person on Earth, would you? Here, you did it with her!" Provenza exclaimed and then sighed. "You're going to ruin this trip even more. It's bad enough we're stuck with Fritz, Chief, her parents, and our suspect, but now, you're sleeping with Raydor!"
"Not sleeping! I slept with her, over and done. It won't happen again," he looked pointedly at Provenza and said with a serious tone.
"Oh, it won't," Provenza pointed at him. "I'm making sure you two stay away from each other. That's the last thing I need is Raydor punishing me for you being an idiot."