Broken Promise

by melonsprite

Syaoran knows he can't stay with Sakura when he's married to Meilin. Please read and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing…or 98 degrees…but I wish I did….

A/N: this 98 degrees song inspired this fic: The Hardest Thing. It just clicked. Syaoran and Sakura. Heartbreaking angst. Fit perfectly. I just hope I delivered it well enough ^^

Broken Promise

By: Ying zero

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

Syaoran grasped Sakura's hands tightly. "I…Sakura…I can't stay," he whispered softly. "I have to get back.." She shook her head quickly, pulling him close.

          "No. I need you," she sighed softly, staring down at the dirty ground. "Don't go. Please." She couldn't help being selfish. Just this once.

          He bit his lip. His heart felt like it was tearing into pieces. "Please. don't make this harder than it already is." He avoided her eyes, knowing that one look would send him past the point of reason. She gave a small sob, trying not to cry.

"Well..I guess this is goodbye," he murmured. His tears threatened to spill onto her soft hair, and he blinked them away. She looked up into his eyes.

"I love you."

He whispered, "I know," and kissed her one last time. Taking one last look at her, he tore himself away and ran, leaving her alone in the rain once again.

I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

A teardrop fell onto the crumpled piece of paper, smudging the words. Syaoran propped his head up with his arms and his teary eyes stung. I have to do this for her good. He looked over the letter carefully, then sealed it in an envelope. With practiced ease, he wrote down her address, then slid it into the pile of letters he wrote every week. A dull ache had settled in his stomach after his decision, and a sharp pain appeared every time he thought about her.

"Syaoran! Lunch is ready!" Meilin called from the kitchen. He sighed. Meilin. She loves me too.

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Dear Syaoran,

            I received your previous letter. I don't believe you. Meilin must have made you write it or something. I really cannot believe you would write that. You couldn't have! I refuse to believe it. Oh, damn, Li, I'm going to get to the point. You know I believe a person's eyes tell you what they feel. If you can look me in the eyes, and tell me you don't love me, I will believe you. I trust you.

                                                                                    With all my love,

                                                                                                            Sakura Kinnomoto

            Syaoran folded up the letter, noticing several tear stains. The ink had smeared, making her signature hard to read. He didn't cry. His pain had settled to a blunt lump at the bottom of his stomach, and it didn't seem to be going away anytime soon. But his mind was constantly on her. Not constantly. Always.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

          He met her one rainy day in the park. The park, with so many memories from their childhood. The penguin slide was still there, and he smiled at it. Fluffy bunnies. Eriol, you scoundrel. I remember the tricks you played on us. All of them. He felt a soft touch at his back, and he turned, already knowing whom it was.

          "Sakura."

          "Syaoran." Her voice wobbled a little, but still sounded sweet and peaceful. They silently started walking, each holding up their umbrellas. Sakura was filled with memories.

~Start Flashback~

Sakura sat crying on the bench, tears streaming down her face and her shoulders shaking quietly. The rain poured down on her, soaking her to the bone. Her eyes stared blankly at the ground in front of her, listless and empty. Suddenly, the steady pattering of rain on her arm ceased, and she looked up to see Syaoran with an umbrella and a concerned look on his face.

"Let's go home before you catch a cold."

~End Flashback~

I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be

Syaoran glanced at Sakura before taking a deep breath. She was staring straight in front, and her eyes never wavered from that unknown spot on the horizon. I guess she doesn't want to know yet. But I have to. Better sooner than later. She'll just get more upset if I drag it out.

"Sakura. Look at me." Syaoran stopped walking and grabbed her hand. She stared at the ground, refusing to look at him.

"You know I have to say something to you."

She nodded, fighting the tears. He was so cold..so hard. She opened her mouth to speak, trembling softly. "Yes." She looked at him, and her heart ripped in two at his blank expression.

He forced himself to look at her, his eyes devoid of any emotion. "I don't love you," he choked out, and turned away. His chest felt like it was breaking apart, but he made himself slowly walk away, tears pouring openly down his face.

"Why? Syaoran, why?" He kept on walking, not even acknowledging her voice. Her strangled voice called out, pushing down the sobs that wracked her body. "Just to make you happy, Li Syaoran, you broke my heart, and I will never, ever forget it." Her umbrella fell in the mud as she dropped to her knees, tears pouring down her face. "I'll never, ever forget it," she whispered. "Because I love you." 

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

Once he was out of sight, he ran, tears coursing down his face. It's for her own good, he tried to tell himself again. He didn't believe himself.

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind

Sakura…I am truly sorry. I know you'll find someone else..more deserving of you. I know you can easily find someone else. Meilin is good to me, I can't be unfaithful. But, there is one thing you will never know. I will always love you.

Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
cuz there can be no happy ending

Syaoran slumped against his booth in the coffee shop, his once warm cup of tea now cold and tasteless. The anguish in his heart did not fade, he knew that he would carry it the rest of his life. He wished with all his heart that she were fine.

Sakura entered the shop with a fake smile plastered on. She ordered an ice cappuccino and slid in a booth, silently. She had cried herself to sleep the last night, and now she felt empty. As if a huge chunk had been torn from her; now only a hole remained.

Syaoran glanced up as the door opened, quickly ducking his head down as he saw it was Sakura. He watched out of the corner of his eyes as she ordered and sat down in the booth right beside his. He quickly stood up, taking his tea, and walked out, taking one last glance at Sakura, who was gazing wistfully out the window.

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay

Goodbye Sakura.

A/N: Well, how was that? Do you want me to write a happy sequel? Or just leave it like that? Please tell me what you think!