Let it be said here and now that I despise Kyrie. This one shot exists solely to insult her being.

Some of the credit for this little ficlet must go to my brother, as it was during conversation with him that the idea spawned in my perverted mind.

Disclaimer: Devil May Cry and all characters involved belong to Capcom.

Nero turned the lights off and slipped under the sheets. Smiling encouragingly at Kyrie, he shed his trousers. Then he reached for her dress…

"Aah!" she gasped, her eyes flying shut.

"Kyrie?" he asked, worried. "If you don't want this, I'm not gonna force you into anything. You know that, right?"

"Y-yes," she stammered. "It-it's fine. I w-want th-this."

Nero raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Are you-"

"I-I'm sure." She took hold of his hand and placed it against her chest. Still worried, Nero slowly unlaced the dress and slid it off. Next were his boxers and her underwear, until they were both nude as the day they were born.

"I love you," Nero murmured against her lips as he lowered his head to kiss her. She let out a strangled wail and then began to whimper before he had a chance, however. "Kyrie?" He opened his eyes to find her trembling beneath him. "It's my arm, isn't it? It's bothering you."

"N-no, of c-course n-not. It-s p-part of y-you."

"You don't have to worry about my feelings or something. We really don't have to do this now if it isn't what you want."

"G-go on N-nero," she told him, touching his cheek. He frowned, but shifted slightly to position himself.

"You ready?"

"Nero!" she screamed before he had even done anything. Her eyes began to fill with tears and pitiful squeaks escaped her lips.

"I… I didn't even do anything…" He let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, perhaps we should wait-"

"No!" she interrupted, giving him a quizzical look. "What's the matter?"

"I…" The young man was well and truly confused. He shook his head and readied himself again. Making eye contact with her, he slowly pushed forwards.

Immediately she let out a tortured scream and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Did I hurt you?" Nero gasped, becoming still. He gazed down at her, panicking slightly. He never meant to cause her any pain.

"N-no," she murmured, tears still flowing down her cheeks. "C-carry on, p-p-please." He bit his lip, unsure whether that was wise, but when she realised he wasn't moving she began to cry harder, if that was even possible. Half-heartedly, he started to deliver shallow thrusts.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he told her softly, brushing the moisture from her cheeks.

"Y-you could n-never h-h-urt m-me," she stuttered, and then burst into tears once more, wailing like a little girl. "I l-love you. I'm s-so glad we're d-doing this," she choked out between sobs as Nero rocked gently against her. "This f-feels s-s-so good, ­­d-doesn't it?"

This time Nero had to stop, and pulled away with a shudder. An image of the stuttering Agnus had formed in his mind, and somehow he felt more turned on than he had all evening. This was definitely wrong.

"Okay, look. I can't do this. I'm sorry, but I just can't…" He got out of bed and snatched up his clothes, dressing quickly. "I'm going." He turned away and headed for the door, but then he reconsidered and glanced back. Kyrie watched him hopefully, but he ignored her and picked up Blue Rose from where she lay on the bedside table. "It's not you, it's me," he added awkwardly as he found her staring up at him with big tearful eyes.

"W-was that g-good for y-you?" she whispered.

"Gah!" Nero felt his eye begin to twitch and he covered his face with his Devil Bringer. "You know what? It is you. You are just… urgh. I need a whore." With that he stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

"We s-should d-do this again s-sometime!"

Constrictive criticism welcome :)