Almost A Proposal

David sat in his car parked outside Kathryn's apartment and stared at the ring he held in his hand. It was his mother's ring, which she had entrusted to him before she died. True love follows this ring. All I have ever wanted is for you to find true love. Those had been his mother's last words to him. Is this true love my mother talked about? If so, why does my heart feel so heavy, David wondered as he sat there preparing to propose to Kathryn tonight.

Well, it wasn't a proposal really. She had already done that. Come to think of it, that hadn't truly been a proposal either. At least it hadn't felt like it. It had felt more like a business proposition. There had been no talk of her undying love, or of being unable to imagine life without him by her side, just an announcement of how their marriage was the next logical step. After all, they had been dating for almost three years now. Their families were expecting it, although pushing for it would be more accurate. Kathryn had insisted that they announce their engagement by Valentine's Day and have an outdoor wedding this summer when the gardens would be in bloom at her family's estate. It was a short time to plan for such an event, but Kathryn already knew exactly what she wanted so she was sure she could pull it off.

David sighed and slipped the ring back into his pocket. His father was right, Kathryn was an exceptional catch and he was lucky to get her. She was beautiful, successful, and came from a well-known and wealthy Boston family. And she must love him, right? After all, women are known as the more romantic ones. She wouldn't have proposed if she didn't love him.

All through dinner David tried to ignore the voice of his mother in his head and the heavy feeling in his gut. He was trying to convince himself that these feelings of trepidation were normal. All guys go through doubts, right? They call it cold feet. The problem was David wasn't like most men, at least not like the men in his family. Status and money weren't important to him. All he had ever dreamed of was the true love his mother had talked about and a family of his own someday.

"David, is something wrong with your food?" Kathryn's voice snapped him from the thoughts buzzing through his head.

"Uhm…I'm sorry, what?"

"You're not eating. You just keep pushing your food around on your plate."

"I'm sorry, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

David paused a moment and looked directly into her eyes hoping to find the answer for all his doubts somewhere within their blue icyness. He leaned forward and reached across the table placing his hand gently on hers. "I was thinking about true love."

"What about it?"

"Do you believe in it?"

Kathryn sat back, pulling her hand from his. She didn't even try to hide the agitation in her tone. "David, what are we talking about here?" Like fairytales? With princes who come rushing in on horseback to rescue princesses with some kind of magical kiss before carrying them off to their castles to live happily ever after?"

David pulled his own hand back and ran it nervously through his hair. How did he answer her? She made it sound so silly, and yet he still imagined it. Only in his mind the prince and princess fought side by side, taking turns rescuing each other. And the kisses were most definitely magical. They were the kind of kisses that made you feel more alive than you've ever felt, yet left you feeling like you had died and gone to heaven. His thoughts were a scrambled mess. He had no answer. Not one that would make sense to Kathryn, or to his father.

David could feel the lump of the ring box in his pocket pressing into his leg. He left it there, unable to bring it out and give it to her.

They made the drive from the restaurant back to her apartment in uncomfortable silence. He parked the car and turned off the ignition. She grabbed his hand as he reached for his seatbelt.

"It's okay, you don't have to walk me in." Still holding his hand, she let out a long exasperated sigh. It was her third one since they had left the restaurant. She looked at him like a parent who had lost all patience with their child.

"David, I'm not sure what it is you want from me, what you're questioning, but I do love you.

Before he had time to answer, she leaned over and kissed him. Her lips were warm, and the kiss was gentle and tender, but it did not touch his heart in the way he imagined it should. "Go home, get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow." She gave him a soft smile that seemed more patronizing than sincere, as she exited the vehicle.

He felt a wave of guilt move through him as he realized he was relieved that she had not asked him in. Kathryn watched from the window as he drove off. She had a feeling that she was on the verge of losing David…and Kathryn Midas did not lose.