It's important to realise how to train your Hedgehog. Sonic was no exception.
Chris was so mad at his blue buddie. He wanted to give up on trying to get him sorted out. He rested his face in his palm and sighed in annoyance.
"SONIC!" Chris roared from the porch.
Sonic was busy running laps around the courtyard fountain out of sheer boredom. He heard the young lad cry out and zoomed over to see what was the matter.
"What's up, Chris?" he asked innocently.
Chris had never been so mad. He wanted to explode right then and there when he saw Sonic's cheeks.
Chris pointed to the table. Sonic had spilt gunky residue from breakfast all over the place. "Well?" he said, tapping his foot.
"Well what?" Sonic was still confused.
Chris growled. "You need to clean up after yourself, Sonic. You can't expect Ella to wipe all your sorry messes up all the time."
Sonic's ears drooped. "Oh… sorry! We don't do that at my place, so I was unsure."
"It's the thought that counts…"
Sonic then began to laugh as he thought about something funny. "Hey, Chris! Catch!" he cried as he tossed Chris an egg.
Chris caught the egg. "What is this supposed to be for?"
"You'll see!" said Sonic with a sneer.
Suddenly the egg hatched and a baby penguin was born. It looked just like Dr. Eggman.
Sonic started to laugh as Chris looked at the creature in disgust.
"Look at his mustache!" chuckled Sonic.
Knuckles crawled through the window as he heard the chuckling and got angry at the sight. "Could you two dumbos keep it down? I'm trying to sleep and I can hear you all the way from Angel Island!"
Chris apologised and showed the penguin to Knuckles.
"That's not right…" said Knuckles.
Sonic laughed some more, ran up to Chris, punched him in the face and ate the penguin.
He chewed and chewed the poultry of eggy flavour.
"How's it taste, Sonic?" asked Mr. Tanaka as he butlered.
The penguin had so much energy. It made Sonic grow wings from his head, one for each killer ab he had.
Knuckles was astounded and pulled out his phone and called Tails. "Tails, we have a problem here…"
Chris stood up and looked at Sonic's new head. Had his best friend just evolved into the highest form of life?
"Sonic…" Chris gulped.
Sonic gave his human counterpart a sly grin and then jumped on top of him. He used the powers in his pinky fingers to steal the souls of Chris's hair, thus rendering him bald.
Chris wept for his lost hair follicles.
Knuckles gasped and took out his swords. "Sonic, challenge me," he said with raw determination.
Sonic looked down and sighed. He then put on his Infinity Gauntlet and snapped. Knuckles faded into dust.
Chris faded away too, but Mr. Tanaka was left alive.
"Master Chris is gone!" Tanaka wept.
Sonic did not care. He grabbed Tanaka by the glasses and ported him to the Gamecube.
Tanaka awoke in Super Mario Sunshine alongside Donald, Goofy, and a bag of Doritos.
Sonic flew overhead and released a new deck of cards from the mysterious location.
Tanaka picked up the first card that landed. It was a card version of his Master Chris. He wanted to cry and drop his tears on the card to revive lives like in the Mewtwo movie.
"This is so sad…" said Donald. "Alexa, play 'Simple and Clean'."
Alexa didn't respond, for she had been gotten dead by Sonic's absorptive toe fungus.
A seagull flew overhead and everyone relished in the grandeur.
But Tanaka continued his tears of woe. He wanted to revive Chris so very badly.
Tanaka let out a warrior cry and ripped his shirt off like this. He grabbed his shield and used it to repel all evil.
Sonic flew down and put two whole tortoises in a line. "It's time…"
Sonic began to cry because the ritual was already in motion. The tortoises combined into a single wombat. Sonic swallowed the wombat. Sonic was whole again. He became Sonc.
"Where's Master Chris!" cried Mr. Tanaka Batmanly.
"I cannot tell the speech…" Sonc said with his talking lips.
Sonc was so utterly powerful that his nose glowed like Rudolph and it saved Santa's dumb butt just in time for the Holidays.
Goofy was glad and he put two and two together. This made four.
Mr. Tanaka smiled and realised that the four meant four things: life, purity, thanksgiving, and apricots.
"Gosh, good going, Sonic!" said Goofy.
"I am Sonc now," said Sonc as he smited all three of the warriors. "I was always Sonc." He then flew to Mordor.
Gandalf told Sonc to halt, so he did. Then Gandalf used his magic chalice to bring forth life to Sonc's ears.
The power of Gandalf's chalice made Chris become reborn. The lad man fell out of Sonc's ear and put his hair back on his head.
"Sonic, you don't deserve good food…" said Chris.
"I am no longer Sonic. I am Sonc," said Sonc in a way of mourning.
Chris collapsed and wept. He was never allowed to go to Legoland ever again.
THE END