OOOOO
"Time is measured, not by clocks, but by moments."
The days were long and the nights were even longer, but Chloe had made a silent promise to herself that no matter how busy she got with work, she would dedicate more time to Trixie. Ever since the incident at the school, when she heard her little monkey speak about how much she just wanted her to not worry about her – that was the moment that made her decide that she would not become her mother. That she would make sure Trixie felt she had a mother that she could share anything with. That she shouldn't have to pretend that she's okay when she's not – not like she did to her mother when she was younger. That would not happen. She refused to let that happen.
Chloe leaned against the door of her daughter's room with the hint of a wistful smile on her face. She loved her daughter so much and knew quiet moments like these would become far and few between as she got older. So, she's savoring every possible minute she can with her. Her little girl is growing up so fast, and it worries her some days that she's going to wake up one day and miss out on the important moments in her life. She glanced down at the floor before looking back to her sleeping daughter's form, her brown drawn in contemplation. Deep down in parts of her that aren't willing to readily admit, she's scared. Scared that she's not going to be there to witness Trixie grow up. Normally, she wouldn't give in a second to these thoughts, but lately, they've been pulling to the surface more often over the past few weeks. The reality is, her job is dangerous, and just as much as she doesn't want to become her mother, and she also doesn't want to happen to her what happened to her father. It's silly really. She's careful and methodical at her job, not taking any unnecessary risks. But more recently, things have started to become almost uncontrollable, and that is what scares her. Not being able to control the one thing she knows she's good at. And yes, she has a partner who she would never doubt be there for her, but even things there are still unsteady since his return.
She rubbed her forehead in frustration, 'Don't go down that road Chloe.' With one last peek at her daughter, Chloe closed the door to her daughter's room quietly and walked into the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. She braced both hands on the counter-top with her head bowed as she breathed in and out slowly.
The last couple of weeks had been trying. Her newest case which involves a stalking serial, has left her entire department baffled. There are six victims and none survived. No DNA left behind from any defensive wounds on the victims nor around the crime scenes – all which are random dump sites in and around the city. It's been 3 weeks and the killings aren't slowing down. It's almost as if there's no rhyme or reason to the killer's motive. But there has to be. They're just missing something. The case is starting to grow cold on leads and no one is talking. There have been several all nighters and tonight is the one of the first freebies in what feels like forever. Her lieutenant forced everyone to take the night off to get a fresh pair of eyes on the case in the morning. As much as she hates to say it, but she's honestly glad her boss sent her team home. Even Lucifer, who is always gung-ho about finding and punishing those deserving, didn't put up a fight. That's saying something. His usual charm and Luciferness seemingly hasn't led to any breakthroughs, but she supposes even he can be infallible at times. A memory of earlier in the day brought a rueful smile to her face; as she remembered, how her partner seemed to exude what she would only describe as frustration. And Lucifer hardly ever outwardly shows his frustration. It made him seem, normal for once – human. Though in recent days, she's noticed that he's more on edge, and that worries her. He's hiding something from her again, she can feel it, but he won't talk to her.
Sometimes she feels like her relationship with her partner just runs her around in circles. He's right. She doesn't understand, but she wants to. More than anything, but he continues to push her away. She knows he cares, and that's what confuses her about him. There's something holding him back, and she doesn't know how to breach that barrier with him, but in the same token, she has to protect herself from him. Emotionally. Lucifer tears a rip current of feelings through her every day, and today was no different, but their own problems will have to wait. There's a killer to find first.
Chloe lifted her head and grabbed her glass to take a long awaited drink from it. Just as she's raised the glass to her lips, she gets waylaid by the shrill ring of her phone going off. She pursed her lips together and closed her eyes in agitation, as if she could will the phone to stop ringing. Not wanting to wake Trixie, she put down the glass and snatched up her phone.
"Decker," she answered.
"Chlo, we have a problem," a distinctively familiar voice travelled down the line.
"Dan. Whatever it is, can it wait?" Chloe tiredly exhaled. She slid her eyes to the clock on the kitchen wall and noticed how late it was. Great.
"There's been a triple homicide in the warehouse district up in Pasadena," Dan replied, getting straight to the point.
"You're joking."
"I wish I was, but it was just called in not even 15 minutes ago."
"Why was this called in to our precinct? Pasadena isn't even in our jurisdiction," she questioned.
"I know, I know, but I've got an old friend who's working up in that area, and he knows of the serial case we're all working on. He claims there are similarities and was giving us a courtesy call to take over the case before another detective from the local area gets assigned and we lose out on a possible lead. And you know that we need all the help –" Dan continued on, but got cut off abruptly by Chloe.
"Yes, of course I'm aware Dan," she bit out. Truth be told, this case is getting traction from the media with the body count steadily climbing, and they are all feeling the pressure to quickly solve this case and find their murderer. Before she even realized it, Chloe saw she had been pacing the floor of the kitchen. Filled with nervous energy she switched the phone to her other ear, "Dan, I'm sorry." Chloe made her way up the stairs and to her room to change clothes and gather her badge and gun while juggling the phone in her grip. She paused as she drew in another breath, "You don't deserve my anger."
"Chloe, I get it. We're all feeling it right now. Do you want to meet at the precinct or do you want me to swing by your place and pick you up and then we'll get Lucifer?"
"Yeah, hang on two seconds," she briskly replied. On occasions such as this, she was grateful Dan knew her so well to not question whether she was even going to consider taking this new development on. Chloe snatched her keys off her nightstand and walked back downstairs to Maze's door stopping short when the last sentence of Dan's words hit her.
Lucifer. Crap. She can just imagine now how he'd react to Dan showing up at his doorstep this late at night.
"Change of plans. I'll pick up Lucifer and we'll meet you at the station. Call Ella and get her, we'll definitely need her on this one. And pack those case files, I want to review our vics one more time before we hit the crime scene to compare and determine whether this is our guy."
"Sure thing and Trixie?" he inquired.
"I'm going to use all of my charm to persuade my roomie to watch over her. I'm hoping we can get down to the site and wrap up before dawn so I can at least get Trix to school," Chloe stated. She moved her eyes towards the heavens as if to pray that Maze would not give her any grief for it being so late. "I'll text you as soon as I've got Lucifer and we're on our way to the station."
"Copy that. See you soon Chlo…and good luck."
"Thanks," she replied dryly and ended the call. Stupid bastard knows it's going to be difficult wrangling a grumpy Lucifer back down to the station. One thing at a time.
She tucked her phone into her back pocket and raised her hand to knock on Maze's door when it suddenly flew open and she appeared in front of her. Not expecting the movement, Chloe jumped slightly and placed a hand over her heart.
"Maze. How?" Chloe asked in a whispered tone as she looked over to Trixie's door.
"I can hear Decker. What? Did you actually think I was sleeping?" Maze glared at her unimpressed with her arms crossed in front.
"Well, then what were you – You know what? Never mind. I don't even want to know," Chloe threw her hands up in surrender, really not wanting to know what Maze could be getting up to in her room. She's pretty sure she's seen the sex swing hanging in her room, but she hasn't been brave enough to actually go in there if she ever needed anything from her eccentric friend. Like now. "Dan called."
"I heard."
"Would you mind?" Chloe asked, leaving the question hanging in the air.
"I'd like to reiterate, I really despise children." Maze directed her gaze to Chloe before she continued, "But – your kid. I can handle. Kid's fierce."
"Thank you Maze," Chloe softly said and then she surprised even herself with her next move. She grabbed Maze and hugged her warmly before she released her, genuinely showing her appreciation.
"Your kid's safe with me, now go get your man," she said and then playfully jutted her head in the direction of the front door.
"My man? You mean the killer?"
"The kill -," Maze started in, but trailed off and rolled her eyes. She threw her hands up in the air as she turned to move back into her room, "You're hopeless Decker."
As Maze closed the door behind her, she realized what she meant at that moment. Oh.
Chloe got her jacket off the coat rack and did a once over to make sure she had everything she needed. Satisfied, she opened the door and shut it swiftly behind her. She locked the door and hurried to her car. Chloe situated herself and strapped on her seat-belt when she got in. She turned on the ignition and pulled away from the curb. As she started driving down the familiar roadway to Lux her mind began to betray her. Her man. Lucifer? Yeah, right. Not in this lifetime, she thought mournfully.
OOOOO
Chloe arrived to Lux much faster than she originally calculated, but that may or may not have been partially due to the fact her thoughts kept straying to her partner and not on the case. She parked next to Lucifer in the underground parking garage of his club and used his private lift to take her to his apartment.
The elevator was excruciatingly slow which unfortunately gave her time to think about her partner. She had forgotten to send or call him in her rush out the door. It made her cringe as she hoped she wasn't about to walk in on anything she really didn't want to see. Though, strangely enough to Lucifer's credit, he had seemed a bit tamer in his personal life since….well, since they didn't start a relationship. Just thinking about her failed attempt at showing Lucifer she was ready to be with him caused her heart to ache. An ache so raw and so deep, she didn't even realize how much she had grown to care for him until it was too late and he left.
Chloe reached up to rub her shoulder where the bullet of Jimmy Barnes hit her. Phantom pain she imagined, but that pain also radiated a little further south where her heart resides. It's happened on and off, but she never really paid attention until Lucifer returned with Candy. Oddly enough, it seemed the phantom pain only caused her discomfort when she thought about Lucifer and everything they could have had together. Clearly, she had read the situation completely wrong and ended up making herself look like an idiot instead.
The ding of the elevator brought Chloe out of her reverie and was grateful for the jolt back to reality. She braced herself for the potential chaos in front of her, but to her surprise when the doors of the elevator opened there was simply darkness with the exception of a low lit lamp left on a side table at the corner of Lucifer's living room. The lamp's light spilled over producing a soft yellow glow that didn't stretch very far, silhouetting his apartment and barely reaching his beloved piano.
She cautiously made her way into his penthouse actively looking around to make sure she wasn't about to stumble into any random pieces of furniture. Honestly, she knew Lucifer's home like the back of her hand, but Lucifer enjoyed moving his furniture around every so often and she couldn't take the chance he decided to have a field day with wildly unusual home arrangements. If he decided to turn all of his furniture upside down one day because he was bored and wanted to see the reactions he would get from his guests, this would somehow, not phase her in the least.
Unlike the memories of walking into Lucifer's darkened apartment before, she could tell he was here. Chloe walked up to the steps that lead to Lucifer's bedroom and squinted her eyes to see if she could see him. The last thing she wanted to do was startle someone such as Lucifer awake. Faint moonlight allowed the smallest rays of light to fall onto his bed; not enough to illuminate the room, but enough to show that there was indeed a body asleep in the bed. Please let him be alone.
"Lucifer," she whispered.
Nothing.
"Lucifer," she spoke with a bit more volume this time.
No response, but this time she managed to see his body turn over and snuffle more deeply into what she assumed was his pillow. She reached into her back pocket to retrieve her phone and check the time. Dammit Lucifer. She doesn't have time for subtle anymore. Chloe moved until she was at the foot of Lucifer's bed, knowing not to wake him from close range. She figured this is most likely a safe distance, and she's never known Lucifer to own a gun. So the likelihood of her being shot is low. If she wasn't in such a hurry, she would have thought he almost looked cute sleeping so innocently now that she's gotten a better look at him. The sheets are tangled around his lower body, On one side, where the sheets have been kicked, she can see the hint of boxers slung low on his well defined hips. Her eyes travelled over his form up to his chest and finally rested on his face. The moonlight showed the curls in his not so perfectly coiffed hair. A mess up top that only can be achieved by either great sex or tossing and turning, Chloe was guessing the latter since she could see he was the only one occupying his bed.
She shook herself out of her stupor, not wanting to linger any longer than necessary. Chloe moved herself to the wall and flicked the light that she knew was there, brightening the room dramatically.
"Lucifer, wake up." Chloe announced. There's still no outward response even with the light in his room on. You have got to be kidding me! I'm going to strangle him, that's what I'm going to do. And this guy claims he's the Devil. Where's a nerf bat when you need one?
As she has reached her limit of patience with a murderer still on the loose, Chloe does the next best thing; she went to the sitting chair in his room and grabbed one of the extra pillows lying around. Determination set on her face, she wielded the pillow as a weapon and threw it directly at Lucifer's head. She wasn't best in her class for marksmanship for nothing. It gave her great pleasure to watch how the pillow slammed into Lucifer's face and instantly woke him up. The added bonus was witnessing him shout incoherently and topple off the bed in a heap bringing the sheets tangled around his waist with him.
She couldn't hold it in any longer and Chloe just burst out with laughter taking stock of the situation. She wrapped an arm around her waist and clumsily fell into Lucifer's sitting chair while she continued to chuckle at the view in front of her.
Chloe watched him with sinister glee as he finally seemed to gain his senses about him and looked up at her with a flurry of expressions, from confusion, shock, amusement and finally settled on mild outrage.
"Bloody hell, Detective," Lucifer exclaimed loudly.
His befuddled expression just brought upon another round of giggles to erupt out of Chloe.
"You know most women are interested in having me in bed, not kicking me out of it! Let alone my own bed," he petulantly spoke. Lucifer untangled himself from his mess and stood to his full height as he provided her with a more curious look etched onto his features, "Not that I'm always glad to see you grace my home's presence, but what brought you here to wake me up in the dead of night and in this manner?"
"Mhmmm. Listen we have a new case. So if you could get dressed in a hurry so we can be on our way, I'd really appreciate it Lucifer," Chloe relayed to him after controlling her laughter and placing herself back into a more professional atmosphere.
"Well you can't rush perfection dear," Lucifer said.
She could hear the smugness in his voice.
"Lucifer, there are three people dead that might be linked to our killer. I could really use your help on this tonight. I know we're all tired, but we're running out of time," she pleaded with him, the exhaustion laced into her voice. She moved until she stood inches away from him and placed her hand on his arm and squeezed lightly, "I really need my partner."
"Of-of course Detective, why didn't you say so in the first place? I'll just -." Lucifer stuttered out and pointed in the direction of his closet, a sheepish grin stretched his face.
Chloe watched him saunter off into his closet only to see him poke his head out around the corner.
"Do you think I could take a shower first? You're welcome to join me if –"
"Luc-i-fer!," she shouted out his name in exasperation. Chloe reached down to floor and retrieved the fallen pillow only to throw it at his head, again.
"Right. I'll take that as a no then," he said as he ducked down to dodge the offending object before he turned around to dart back inside.
Chloe walked to the bar next to his piano. For the umpteenth time it seemed, she rolled her eyes to the ceiling. That man is so infuriating.
A few minutes later she heard the footfalls of her partner traipse down the steps of his bedroom and toward her. She removed her gaze from the phone she had been using to look up at her partner.
"I'm impressed," she blandly replied.
"As you should be Detective, I'm definitely not one to keep a lady waiting," he spoke confidently and grinned a bit salaciously at her.
She almost missed those long forgotten innuendos from him. Almost. But apparently they are out in full force this evening. Chloe has chalked up his behavior over the fact she woke him up at such a late hour and he cannot be held accountable for his current mood. For now.
"Lead the way Detective. I'm assuming you're driving us to the crime scene," Lucifer said, hand stretched out to the elevator.
"Yes and no. I'm driving us to the precinct, but then we're gathering Dan and Ella and carpooling to the crime scene. There's a lot of go over to make sure we link all of these killings together. This could be a huge break for us. The killer could have gotten sloppy this time around and we'll be arriving at the scene of the crime well before we've reached any of the others. So, we'll be reviewing files on the way." she said gave him a pointed look as they walked to the elevator in unison.
She felt Lucifer stop her from entering the lift as he gently pulled on her arm to prevent her from moving further.
"You mean I have to travel in the same space as Detective Douche and review files that we've already gone over a dozen times? Maybe I'm still asleep, and this is a nightmare."
Chloe closed her eyes and silently counted to ten.
"The only nightmare you're going to be in is the one I'm about to unleash upon you if you don't get in this elevator in the next 5 seconds," Chloe grounded out, jaw clenched and eyes that glistened with calm fury as she stared her partner down.
"Well, when you put it like that."
Chloe eyed him as he clambered into the lift and didn't remove her gaze from him until the doors of the elevator closed. She stretched her right arm out to hit the button that would bring them to the garage, and she turned her head back to look at Lucifer who seemed nervous for some reason. Maybe she had been a bit hard on him. Chloe looked up at him and gave him an appreciative smile, which he returned in kind. She could feel the tension leave his body. They traveled in companionable silence as the lift continued its downward journey.
OOOOO
The only upside Lucifer could see as he regarded their current situation was that they were in a car that he would approve when carpooling with three other people.
He and Chloe arrived had at the station in record time from Lux. This was due to the fact that he goaded Chloe into driving faster in order to not lose valuable time. He even managed to talk her into putting on the sirens for a few minutes when traffic got a bit heavier as they reached the heart of downtown LA. Maybe he had started to rub off on her after all? The thought of his Detective loosing up a bit brought a smile to his face. He is all too aware of how serious she is most of the time.
Dan and Ella were waiting for them as they pulled up into the precinct parking lot.
"My my, Daniel, I wasn't aware you had so much clout in the department to pull of getting us a flashy SUV to drive in," Lucifer crowed as he got out of the car with Chloe and straightened his navy blue suit.
"He doesn't," Chloe piped in.
"I got us the vehicle," Ella stated.
"You did?" Lucifer questioned. He watched, brow furrowed as Ella kept placing various sized containers in the rear of the car, "And how exactly did you convince your superior to do that?"
"Duh, dude. I'm forensics? All I had to say was there's a large crime scene and I needed the SUV to carry my gear with me, unless they wanted to not have all the information readily available to them at a moment's notice. And with this case? I didn't think they'd argue, ya know?" Ella responded as she waved her hands animatedly to them. She shut the trunk of the vehicle when the last box was in.
"Well, kudos to you Ms. Lopez. We should all be so grateful," Lucifer said and gave her an appreciative look.
"Alright. Enough, we're loaded up can we get in the car and get a move on now?" Dan directed.
"You got those case files I requested?" Chloe asked.
"Yes, Chloe. They're in the backseat."
Lucifer took her hand and helped her into the large SUV as she chose the backseat. He rounded to the other side getting ready to sit next to Chloe when he bumped into Dan.
"Aren't you driving?" Lucifer said; he wiped away imaginary wrinkles in his suit jacket as he stepped away from Dan.
"No. Aren't you? I figured you would have been bugging us to let you drive; otherwise you'd complain the entire way about how slow we are," Dan responded and dangled the keys in front of Lucifer to make his point.
"Guys?" Chloe chimed in.
"Guys, come on. Let's not do this right now," she continued.
Lucifer heard her, but was too busy trying to contemplate how to aggravate Dan even further. He just lived for pushing his buttons.
"You know what Daniel? You're right," he said as he snatched the keys out of his hand.
"I am?" Dan asked, extremely wary of his decisive agreement.
"Yes, of course. You're correct in your assumption that I would complain if either you or the Detective were driving, which is why I'm making an executive decision for us all," Lucifer grinned, a calculated look in his eyes. He jingled the keys once and then tossed them to the side without breaking eye contact with Dan, "Ms. Lopez shall drive us." And with that, he grinned again and dashed into the backseat with Chloe who seemed fed up with the entire situation.
He noticed Ella had caught the keys with ease and made her way to the driver's side seat leaving a grumbling Douche to climb into the passenger side seat. Ah, yes, this is much better, Lucifer smugly thought.
Half an hour later they are currently stuck in traffic as they have discovered there's an overturned trailer on the interstate. And apparently, it's on fire; so only one lane of traffic is currently being used. Their 20 minute trip to their crime scene has now turned into a two hour medium size nightmare. He's still under the impression this is all one long drawn out nightmare that his father has concocted to torment him some more.
Lucifer lifted his head skyward and flashed the hellfire in his eyes briefly to send a message that he knows his father will never receive. Something flew into his lap haphazardly and he looked down to see that the Detective has given him a case file to review. What has become of me? Spending time reading boring case files that I'm able to memorize at first glance.
For her, he surmised. He'd do it for her; anything to bring a smile to that face. Anything to make her happy, till the end and beyond. Lucifer internally sighed as he turned his head to get a better look at the Detective.
He's worried. He never used to worry much before. Before, when he shut everything inside of him off, cut out everything around him. He became selfish in order to protect himself from everyone. But then he met her, and his existence turned into something else. She made his existence bearable, worth living. He thought he had been finally living his life when he first arrived onto this plane of existence, but how wrong he truly was. His Detective had opened his eyes to a life he never even knew he could possibly envision. Feelings that he never believed he could feel again. She made him feel more alive than anyone else in his entire existence. For the first time, in so many millennia, he was happy. Then his father ripped it all away from him. Again. But it was too late. He had already felt too much. And he doesn't blame her. This was never her fault, but knowing what he knows now – he's made a promise to himself that he will do whatever he has to in order to protect her. To let her choose her own path, and away from him.
Lucifer let his eyes linger on her a bit longer while he fiddled with the case file in front of him. He knows she doesn't let it show, but she's exhausted. She's so strong and so stubborn; part of what drew him to her in the beginning. But now, she's more closed off and not as open as she once was just a few short months ago, and that had been eating at him. It's on his mind constantly. How to fix what he broke. But he doesn't understand how. He believed that his marriage to Candy would be the right thing to do, to help protect the one person he cared for more than any one, but perhaps he had been mistaken. He didn't notice it at first. But as time had passed for them since his annulment, he can see the silent damage he left in his wake. He still may not fully comprehend human emotions or even his own, but he can see he hurt her. And that has left a tear so deep in his soul; he's convinced he was right from the beginning. He's not worthy of her. But right now, his only focus is to be there for her and make sure they catch the killer that has eluded them.
Lucifer leaned over to the center console to view their current traffic delay. He noticed that they had moved forward, but not enough to make a sizeable dent in their travel time.
"Detective, it's still going to be a bit until we arrive; why don't you take a short nap to keep yourself from running down?" Normally, he would never point out how tired she appeared to be, but Lucifer believed a small breeze could float into the car and knock the Detective out, and he worried for her health. She had been through so much recently.
"I would but these case files may hold the key to linking these separate murders together and it's important we get it right. They'll be time to sleep once we catch this guy. Besides, we're all equally tired," she responded calmly. She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Perhaps, but I'm the Devil, you forget. I hardly need sleep unlike you humans."
He could hear the sarcastic guffaw that came from the passenger seat in front of him, and Ella's mutter about how amazed that he never breaks character.
Lucifer knew better than to push the Detective; so he changed tactics and instead of fighting her, chatted to her about the case. He asked most of the questions this time around, and even got Dan and Ella into the conversation. They had managed to get through three case files and were working on their fourth when Lucifer noticed that Chloe had been quiet for far too long. He shifted over her and realized she had fallen asleep. It must have been sometime between their third victim's analysis and the mild music war he and the Douche had trying to fight over what kind of music they should listen to as they worked. He won. As if there was ever going to be a different outcome.
As he leaned over the Detective, he vaguely felt rather than heard Daniel's eyes on him. It appeared he had noticed the growing silence from our favorite detective.
"Hey Lucifer, could you nudge Chlo awake? There's an anomaly in the statement of this case file I need to ask her about," Dan requested.
Lucifer whipped around on Daniel dangerously fast for someone strapped into a vehicle of this size. He liked the Douche enough, but when it came to Chloe's well-being, no one was safe, and he had no qualms about showing it.
"No Daniel, I will not allow the Detective to be woken up. She's completely worn out, and should be sleeping as she is now. Your questions can wait," he forcefully murmured to him. Lucifer barely kept his anger from flaring as he had to close his eyes several times to contain the fire from bleeding red though his irises.
"I know that, but this is important," he quipped back.
"So is the Detective's health or have you forgotten so easily that she had been fighting for her life not too long ago?" Lucifer countered to Dan, confusing disbelief coated his voice.
"Hey man, take it easy. I didn't mean it like that and you know it. I was just -,"
"Would you both just shut up?"
Lucifer turned his head to the unexpected voice in the car. Ella had just told them off. No one tells the Devil to shut up, except maybe Chloe, but still. Too shocked to respond, it seemed Dan had similar thoughts, minus the internal Devil monologue.
"My dudes. I would walk over fire hot coals for you two, but Chloe is my girl. Let her sleep," Ella answered.
Lucifer leaned back in his seat and made a motion to give Dan a smug, 'I told you so', but never got the chance as he suddenly felt a weigh on his side.
He glanced down to his side and saw the Detective had somehow snuggled up to him while he was distracted. Bloody hell.
Thankfully Ella and Dan had started a quiet conversation of their own and focused on the road ahead of them; so they hadn't noticed his current predicament. Mild panic welled up inside Lucifer, not unlike the first time his Detective fell asleep on him, but this time for completely different reasons.
His nerve endings felt like they were on fire where every inch of the Detective's body that touched his. It was agony, it was bliss. He didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or scream at the turn of events. Lucifer's insides were at war with each other. One part of him welled up with emotion that left him breathless with joy, and there was another part of him that burned in anguish. Both sparked tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He lifted his head and rapidly blinked back the wetness that had accumulated there.
Once he was confident he wasn't going to embarrass himself in front of his friends, Lucifer dared to look at the sleeping Detective again. It's not real, it's not real. He chanted to himself over and over again. But the simple truth was this. Linda was right. He was lying to himself, because as much as he understands it's not real, he wanted it to be real. More so than he even realized at the time. The truth is that he still wants this, whatever it is they share to be real, and that's why he stays. There is a small flare of light left burning in his soul, and he knows what is now. It's hope. Hope that perhaps he got it wrong, and the Detective's feelings are true. Hope that despite all of his unworthiness, she'll still choose him. The bitter truth he currently acknowledges leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but she's never given him reason to not trust anything she's said or done; therefore those actions give him hope to find out the truth. And he will. Oh, how he will.
Lost in his musings, Lucifer looked out the window only to realize the SUV had stopped.
"Hey, Lucifer. We're here. Do you mind waking Chloe up now?" Dan muttered to him.
Hearing his name, knocked him out of his rampant thought process and he looked around his surroundings to realize Dan and Ella had left him in the car alone with the Detective, leaving him to his own devices to wake her. He hadn't even heard the adjoining doors open and shut; he was so lost in his contemplation. As much grief as he gave Dan, he was a good guy. Boring, but good, none the less. And Ella was like an adult child that's overly exuberant all the time. It truly made him uncomfortable on many occasions.
Lucifer sighed trying to decide how exactly he was going to wake the Detective. This wasn't like her when she woke him up a few short hours ago. As he was in the middle of his internal debate, it seemed the Detective had made the decision for him.
He swallowed nervously and became stiff as a board when he realized the Detective was waking up on her own. He didn't know how she would take her current position, seeing as she's draped half over his body. Not that he minded, but she most likely would. So he kept his hands at a safe distance from being potentially anywhere inappropriate.
Time seemed to have slowed as he watched her wake. The Detective gently rubbed her cheek against his shoulder as she inhaled a deep breath. They were somewhat close to eye level as he had unknowingly slouched down in the car during the time the Detective fell asleep on him to make her more comfortable. Even his unconscious actions are all for her.
He heard her release a soft hum of contentment as she blearily opened her eyes to him. The Detective placed her free hand against his neck and gave a quiet smile. Then she leaned up slightly into him and brushed her nose against his and murmured his name. The small action rendered him breathless. Overwhelming emotion crashed down upon him and he swallowed hard to control the flood of feelings threatening to break free. The same emotional state he experienced on the beach with the Detective he's experiencing once more, and she hadn't even kissed him.
His breath hitched in his throat as he wants to rebel and push the Detective away as much as he wants to keep her close and never let her go. The tortuous situation elicited the ache in heart he had worked so hard to shove down. It's not her fault. And in that moment, his anger for his father grew even deeper.
It's not her fault. He told himself again, and then Lucifer made a decision. For one brief moment, he dispelled all thought and let himself give in. He allowed himself to have this small moment of happiness; so he can file it away. So he can live to remember on the days and nights he knows he'll have alone without her.
Lucifer grew a bit bolder and raised his hand to stroke her cheek gently. He smiled serenely as he's become aware that she's still in that place between sleep and the limbo of reality. Unconsciously, he applied more caressing pressure to her cheek and is acutely aware of the moment she fully awakened.
He immediately knew the moment was over as she stiffened in his arms and shifted her gaze to take stock of her surroundings. Lucifer, ever the attentive individual, saw her face grow red with what he hazarded was embarrassment. Not knowing how to react, he simply stared back at her wearily, and allowed her to make the first move away. Then his Detective did something completely unexpected, she brought her hand over to his and gave a light squeeze accompanied with a small sad smile. As if she knows. But she doesn't.
Lucifer's gaze never wavered from her as the Detective silently slid out of the car and shut the door behind her.
After she's gone from his sight, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat facing up toward the ceiling of the car.
He took a deep breath in through his nostrils and opened his eyes up to stare out through the moon roof of the SUV. As Lucifer stared absently up at the stars above him, he prayed. Prayed to hold onto this moment in time for one more minute. Just one more minute. Please Dad.
OOOOO