I recently watched this movie again after many years - I'd forgotten how much I love it! I somehow stumbled across Guy/Aldys fiction on here, which I had no idea was a thing... but I can totally see it. And I love it. So much that I was inspired to write my own! It's complete coincidence that I happened to finish this fic just the other day, but then it seemed silly not to post it around the 4th of July. If there's anyone out there still reading Never Been Kissed fics, hope you enjoy!
It's a sticky Wednesday in June, and Aldys is at work at her summer job in a local independent bookstore. She's been coming here for as long as she can remember and has contributed a great deal of her spending money to the store's coffers, so it seemed only natural that the owner, a middle-aged woman named Marjorie, would eventually offer her a job. It's ideal, really; she even gets a discount. Besides, she needs something to occupy her time – other than babysitting her sister, which gets old rather fast – until she heads to Northwestern in the fall. She's already excited about it.
The bell jingles as the door creaks open. Aldys glances up, but the greeting dies on her lips as she realizes who has just stepped into the store. She would never in a million years have pegged Guy Perkins as the bookstore type; she fervently wishes he hadn't decided to start now. He hasn't looked her way yet, so she quickly disappears behind the book she's been reading. Maybe if she's very quiet…
"You know, it's not very nice to ignore your customers."
Well, so much for that.
Aldys lowers the book just enough to make eye contact with Guy over the top. He doesn't appear surprised to see her, and he's smirking. "Can I help you?"
"Hm." He appears to consider, crossing to where she's perched behind the counter. Oh, how she wishes he would just go away. Marjorie has stepped out for lunch, so it's just the two of them in the store. "What are you reading?"
"Dostoevesky. Crime and Punishment." Aldys tucks her bookmark in place and sets the book down, giving up on quiet reading time for the moment. "Hey!" she exclaims next, for the book has no sooner hit the counter than Guy has snatched it up.
He glances up at her, still smirking. "Don't worry, I'll give it back."
Aldys glares as he takes his time reading the back, but – true to his word – he then sets her book back on the counter. He takes two steps backwards, spreads his arms and glances around. "Any recommendations?"
Aldys frowns. "You're looking for a book?"
He raises an eyebrow. "Well, I am in a bookstore." He turns, casually strolling between two shelves. "So come on," he challenges, his voice drifting back to her from amongst the books. "You've must've read, like, all of these."
Aldys rolls her eyes, getting off her stool. "That's a bit of an exaggeration."
He doesn't respond, and Aldys peers cautiously between the rows of books. He's not there. She can't physically stop herself from glancing behind her, feeling a bit ridiculous when she's only met with the empty store. But who can really blame her for expecting to be ambushed with dog food or whatever else whenever Guy Perkins is around? She hasn't seen him since their graduation two weeks earlier and hasn't exchanged a single word with him since prom. After their surprisingly enjoyable dance was interrupted by the dog food incident and Josie's confession, he'd disappeared into the crowd. He'd left her completely alone in their final few days of high school, which was no small miracle. So why was he here now?
The sound of a book scraping against a shelf catches her attention, and she rounds another row to find Guy with his nose in a book. Maybe he does read. Who knew? She's about to quietly back away when he glances up, noticing her.
"So?" He sets the book back in its place and turns to her. "Any suggestions?"
"I have no idea what you like to read," she protests, still struggling with the idea that Guy Perkins might actually like to read. Or maybe he's just messing with her. That's probably more likely, although to what end, she can't figure out.
"I'm up for anything," he replies, glancing around with a shrug. "Well, most anything."
Aldys eyes the nearby row of books. She's harbored a suspicion for some time now that Guy is actually considerably more intelligent than he lets on. I mean, after all, he graduated high school without having ever appeared to do much work (although, admittedly, she has no idea what his actual grades were), and he did pop up in honors classes from time to time. Honors history, for example. She pulls a book free from the shelf and holds it out to him. Joseph Heller's Catch-22. "Have you read this?"
Guy shakes his head and takes the book from her hand. "Not yet."
Aldys generally likes picking books for people, but – in this case – she's desperate for this interaction to end. "You should. It's a classic." And she flees back to the relative safety of the counter before he can say anything else.
Guy follows at a more leisurely pace, reading the back of the book as he walks. At the counter, he hands her the book and retrieves his wallet. "I'm taking your word for it, Aldys."
Momentarily startled that he's using her actual name, Aldys nonetheless manages to ring up the book and take his money. It's not until he's out the door that she allows herself a sigh of relief.
A week later, Guy makes a reappearance at the bookstore. Aldys is reorganizing shelves, Marjorie at the counter, when he materializes at her elbow. She nearly drops the book she's holding.
"Hey."
Aldys eyes him suspiciously. "What do you want?"
Guy smirks. "No need to be so hostile, Aldys. I just came to say thanks for the book recommendation."
Aldys blinks. He must be joking. "You read it?"
He rolls his eyes. "Yes, I read it. It's good."
"Glad you liked it," she says, rather noncommittally, gathering up a few books and turning away.
"Have coffee with me."
This time, it's truly a miracle she doesn't drop anything. Aldys safely sets the books down on a nearby open shelf, before turning to face her former classmate. "What?"
"There's a coffee shop next door," he points out. "Have coffee with me."
"I'm working."
"So when you get off, then."
"Where are your lemmings?" She questions. "Have coffee with them."
"Lemmings?" He chuckles. "And I could, but then I wouldn't be able to talk about Catch-22, seeing as none of them have ever even heard of it."
He wants to talk about the book with her? What kind of alternate universe has she fallen into? Or maybe he's just really bored.
"You expect me to believe that you actually want to have coffee and talk about Catch-22 with me?"
"Sure," Guy shrugs. "Why not?"
Okay, maybe he's not quite as bright as she suspected.
"Aldys." He steps closer when she doesn't respond, drawing out her name ever so slightly. "Have coffee with me."
She's a bit uncomfortable with him standing quite so close, but Aldys is absolutely not going to take a step back. "You're paying," she challenges, after another moment of consideration.
He smirks. "Done."
She nods. "Okay." If he has anything nefarious up his sleeve, she supposes she could always dump a cup of coffee on his head. The idea has merit.
Guy smiles. "What time do you get off work?"
He finally takes his leave, once they've agreed to meet next door when her shift ends at four. Aldys makes her way back to the register, where Marjorie looks amused.
"So who's the young man?" she queries, smiling at the teenager.
"Absolutely no one," Aldys says with feeling.
"Uh huh," Marjorie retorts knowingly, and Aldys shakes her head. What is she doing, going out for coffee with Guy Perkins?
She still doesn't have an answer two hours later, when she leaves the bookstore and heads for the coffee shop. Aldys is almost entirely convinced that he won't be there, or that he'll be accompanied by the lemmings, all waiting to laugh at her misfortune in believing that he might actually want to spend time with her. Well, not that it matters. She doesn't particularly want to spend time with him, so that would simply give her an excuse to get out of it.
Much to her surprise, she steps inside to find Guy already occupying one of the small tables, alone. He gives a sort of half-wave in her direction, and she crosses the room to join him.
"You actually came," he comments. Maybe Aldys wasn't the only one questioning intentions.
"I'm as surprised as you are," she retorts, and Guy actually laughs, getting to his feet.
"What can I get you?"
She insists on accompanying him to the counter – nice gestures aside, she so does not trust Guy Perkins with anything she's planning to consume. True to their agreement, he pays, and Aldys lets him. He owes her a thing or two, after all.
"Why'd you tell me to read Catch-22?" He asks, once they're seated across from each other.
She shrugs. "It's a classic."
Guy gives her a look. "So are a lot of other books."
She wonders how many of them he's actually read. "It happened to be on the shelf right where we were standing. And… I remembered that you were in honors history, so I thought you might find the subject interesting."
He raises an eyebrow. "You remembered that?"
It was junior year, after all, but Guy Perkins in honors anything was noteworthy for its infrequency.
She tells him this, and he snorts with laughter. She'd half expected him to be glaring daggers at her. "You really don't hold anything back, do you?"
"Neither do you," she counters pointedly.
He inclines his head in apparent agreement, and they momentarily lapse into silence. "Well, you were right," he acknowledges, after a minute. "I do like history, and the book was great."
"I enjoyed it, too," she agrees. "Although, you've never really struck me as the summer reading type."
"How would you know?" He challenges.
Aldys supposes he has a point. She does her best to avoid Guy Perkins and his cronies during the summer and has generally been pretty successful. Until now. "I guess I don't," she shrugs.
"Well, I need something to keep me entertained," he replies.
"What, the Court not enough for you these days?" She admittedly doesn't really know what Guy's life is like, but certainly doesn't imagine it to be boring.
Guy shakes his head. "It's not possible for you to say that with any more disdain."
Aldys raises an eyebrow. "Can you blame me? It's basically the epitome of everything I disliked about high school." And everyone, remains unspoken, but no less clear.
He shrugs. "I thought we made a little progress at prom…?"
Progess? Is that what that was? "You mean, before your friends-" she says the word as though it leaves a bad taste in her mouth, which it does – "tried to dump a can of dog food on me?"
Guy looks momentarily startled. "I had nothing to do with that. You know that, right?"
"And I'm supposed to believe that, after you spent four years making fun of me at every opportunity?"
Truthfully, Aldys thinks that he's probably telling the truth about the dog food – he'd looked as surprised as everyone else. But she certainly isn't above making him squirm a bit.
Much to her surprise, he does actually look a bit chagrined. "I suppose that's fair," he admits. "But I really didn't know about it. My intentions were honorable in asking you to dance."
She nods. "Well, then, thanks for the dance, since I didn't get to say it then. And I'm sorry your prom date turned out to be a twenty-five year old reporter."
They both laugh at that, and it breaks some of the tension that has settled over the table. To her shock and consternation, Aldys realizes that she's actually not having a terrible time.
"It's fine." Guy laughs it off. "It was fun while it lasted." Aldys wonders if he means it, or if he was at all bothered by what happened with Josie. She assumes he, like the rest of the town, was at the baseball game and is up to date on latest Josie-Mr. Coulson developments. She debates whether or not to ask him, but he speaks first. "So you're going to Northwestern?"
Aldys nods. "Yes. I'm really looking forward to it."
"You know I'm going there, too."
"I know." And they're not the only two from South Glen South who are. Aldys has been operating under the assumption that, at a school that size, she won't ever have to interact with Guy. Although, if he continues to behave the way he's behaving currently – as in, treating her like an actual human being – running into him on occasion might not actually be so terrible. Maybe.
That Saturday, Guy is waiting outside the bookstore when Aldys finishes her shift. He's apparently taken it upon himself to figure out her schedule, and Aldys isn't sure if she should be flattered or worried. She raises an eyebrow in greeting.
He smiles. "Hey. Coffee?"
Which is how she finds herself, for the second time that week, having coffee and making actual conversation with Guy Perkins. She doesn't let him pay this time; she's a bit concerned about being too indebted to him, even if it is only a few dollars.
"Do you have any plans tonight?" He asks, and Aldys eyes him suspiciously.
"Not really," she answers truthfully. She often sees her friends on the weekends, but no plans have yet materialized for this particular Saturday night.
"Well, do you wanna do something?" Guy says then. "Like, see a movie?"
Aldys is sure she looks as shocked as she feels. Is Guy, of all people, asking her on a date? "I thought you'd be at the Court," she retorts, although it isn't quite as heated as her usual commentary about said locale.
He rolls his eyes. "I don't spend all of my time there," he objects. "Although, we could always go there, too. If you want."
If she wants? He must still be operating under the misguided belief that her life is incomplete without nights at the Court. "Okay, now I know you're messing with me," she retorts.
Guy shakes his head. "I'm not."
Aldys snorts. "I seem to recall you telling me that I'm not cool enough to hang out at the Court. And now you're suggesting we go?"
"You're cooler than I was giving you credit for," he admits, and Aldys struggles to keep her mouth from falling open in surprise. Not that she has particular aspirations to Guy's definition of cool, but it's still an unexpected thing for him to say.
"I don't think your friends would agree," she points out.
"Doesn't matter," he shrugs. "If I say it's fine for you to be there, then it's fine."
While she doesn't doubt the validity of that statement, an evening spent being merely tolerated because Guy said so doesn't sound extremely appealing. "I'm so glad I have your approval," she retorts, not exactly trying to keep the sarcasm out of her tone. What is she even doing here?!
She moves to get up, but Guy stops her with a hand on her arm. He retracts it just as quickly, as though uncertain if it was a good idea. "Wait, Aldys." He looks surprisingly earnest. "No Court, then. Okay? Let's just go to a movie or something."
Aldys considers. "You're really serious," she observes.
He nods.
"Why do you even want to spend time with me?" She asks. "I thought you hated me."
Guy shakes his head. "I've never hated you."
"Could've fooled me," she retorts.
"I like you, Aldys," he persists. "You're really fun to hang out with."
Aldys is convinced there must be a catch. Or that she's now living in some kind of alternate reality where Guy Perkins isn't a complete jerk. She supposes there's only one way to find out.
It's the 4th of July, and it seems like the entire town has turned out for the annual fireworks. Aldys is weaving her way through the seemingly endless crowd, hot on the heels of none other than Guy, whose fingers are entwined with hers. She still honestly doesn't know what to make of that fact.
Their movie date a week prior went surprisingly well. He took hold of her hand about halfway through, and she'd been too shocked to object. Afterwards, they'd gone out for a bite to eat, and Aldys was yet again astounded to realize that she actually enjoyed talking to him. When he's not calling her names and ridiculing her general existence, Guy is actually a reasonably decent conversationalist.
And now, as they make their way across the park, he's holding her hand again.
As the crowd thins a bit, she catches sight of a few of the Denominators, who are staring at her in…unmitigated shock. Not that Aldys can blame them. She tugs on Guy's hand, and he turns to face her.
Aldys inclines her head in the direction of her friends. "I'm gonna go say hi," she tells him. "Do you want to come?"
It is one hundred percent clear from the expression on Guy's face that he does not want to come. "Do you have to now?" He replies, not quite managing to keep the disdain out of his tone. "I told the others we'd be right there."
By "the others", he means his lemmings, whom Aldys is about as keen to spend time with as Guy is the Denominators. She nearly tells him this, or maybe she should just point out that she only intends a quick hello, and not an hour-long detour. Instead, she merely sighs, glancing back and forth between him and her friends. "Okay, fine," she concedes, offering the Denominators a wave and a shrug. "Let's go."
As the lemmings come into view, Aldys is suddenly struck by a wave of nervousness. Why did she even agree to this? Guy made it sound like his friends knew she was coming, but she isn't sure if that's true, or – if it is – if she should expect to be greeted with a can of dog food. Based on the expressions she's met with as they approach, Aldys suspects the "we" was pretty vague.
"Why'd you bring Alpo?" Kristen questions Guy as soon as they're within speaking distance, shooting Aldys a dirty look.
Aldys waits to see if Guy will correct his friend. He doesn't, and it hurts more than she'd expected.
"She's with me," is all he says. Aldys would like to give him the benefit of the doubt – maybe he didn't hear Kristen properly - but isn't sure that she should.
"Why?" This time it's Gibby, and her displeasure couldn't be more apparent. Guy's shrug isn't remotely satisfying, and Aldys is rapidly coming to the conclusion that this was a colossal mistake. His response apparently doesn't satisfy Gibby either, as the other girl promptly turns to Aldys. "Don't you have fellow nerds to be bothering?" The girls, as well as Jason and Tommy, laugh at that. Guy doesn't, but nor does he say anything.
Aldys levels her gaze at the smaller girl. "Trust me, I'm not any happier about this than you are."
Guy shoots her a look, and she arches an eyebrow at him. If he doesn't expect her to give as good as she gets, then he's clearly forgotten whom he's dealing with. Truth be told, Aldys is a little bothered that he's expecting her – and only her – to play nice, but there's no way in hell she's going to let him know that.
"Well, then, run along," Kristen waves a dismissive hand. "I don't know why Guy brought you over here, but you have to know he's just messing with you. Right? I mean, you're not welcome here."
They're all staring at her, except for Guy, who looks uncharacteristically uncomfortable. Aldys waits a beat, hoping that he'll say something, anything, to correct Kristen. He doesn't, and that tells her everything she needs to know.
"Right." She stares at Guy until he meets her gaze. "My mistake."
His eyes widen at her words, but Aldys doesn't wait to see if he has any further reaction. She turns on her heel and walks away, the sound of the lemmings' laughter echoing behind her. She shoves her way through the crowd, crossing the park in record time, the hot prickle of traitorous tears in her eyes. How could she be so stupid? She knew from the start this would only end badly, and yet let herself get caught up in it all the same. Aldys furiously wipes at her eyes. No. She is not going to cry over Guy Perkins. She instead focuses her attention on figuring out how she's going to get home, her interest in watching the fireworks gone. In yet another stupid decision, she allowed Guy to drive her over here, and it's really too far to walk.
"Aldys!" His voice reaches her as she approaches the far side of the park. If she's at all surprised that he's come after her, she doesn't show it. She doesn't even slow down. "Aldys, wait a minute." He grabs her arm and she spins to face him, thankful she got the tears under control. Guy looks a little bit upset, but she doesn't care. "Where are you going?"
"Home." She spits out.
"Look, I'll take you after the fireworks end," he offers.
"No thanks." She starts to walk away again, but he stops her with a hand on her arm. A hand she promptly shrugs off.
"Aldys, don't be like that."
"Don't be like that?" She hisses at him. "Do you even- no, just forget it."
"I'm sorry, okay?" Guy tries. "I didn't mean for them to upset you."
Aldys closes her eyes and prays for patience. "It wasn't them, it was you, you idiot," she snaps. "They're always like that, I wasn't expecting anything else. But you've been different lately, and I was stupid enough to think that might continue."
"You're not stupid," he objects. "And it is – I mean, it will continue. I wasn't making fun of you."
"But you weren't exactly sticking up for me, either!" Aldys retorts. "You didn't say anything when Kristen called me Alpo, or when they laughed at me, or even when she point blank said that you were just messing with me. And when I suggested we say hi to my friends, you looked like the thought made you physically ill, which I can sort of understand, because I feel the same way about yours. Your friends hate me, and I'm not going to wait around until you remember that you do, too."
Fireworks begin to explode overhead, but neither of them pay any attention. Suddenly self-conscious about blurting all that out, Aldys turns to leave once again, but is stopped by Guy abruptly closing the distance between them and taking her face in his hands.
"I don't hate you," he insists, and then he kisses her.
Guy's lips are warm and soft, and the sensation sends a thrill up her spine. Aldys has never kissed anyone in her life, but she instinctively kisses him back. That is, until her brain catches up to what is happening, and she abruptly pushes him away with her hands on his chest.
"You can't do that," she gasps once they've parted, a little breathless.
Guy looks a tad chagrined. "Why not?"
Aldys shakes her head. "You can't treat me like you did tonight, make me so angry at you, and then kiss me like that."
He smiles. "So you liked it then?"
"That's not the point," she retorts, hoping he can't see her blush in the darkness. "It doesn't change anything."
Guy sighs. "Aldys, I'm sorry about before. I really do like you."
"But you can't only like me when it's just us," she points out. "You can't be nice in private, but treat me like crap around your friends. Or let them treat me like crap. That's not okay with me."
He inches closer and slides his arms around her waist. Aldys lets him. "You're right," he murmurs. "I didn't know what to say to Kristen and Gibby, I guess I kind of hoped they would just accept you being there with me and drop it. But I should have stood up for you, and I'm sorry I didn't."
Meeting his eyes, Aldys thinks she believes him. But just to be sure… "You're going to have to prove it to me," she tells him.
Guy nods. "I will."
Aldys eyes him suspiciously, although she's beginning to relax. Just a bit. "Kissing me does not count as proving it to me."
He grins. "You sure?" Then, more seriously: "I know, Aldys. I'll talk to them."
"You will?"
"Yes." His eyes are serious as they hold hers. "I promise."
Aldys decides she'll give him a chance. Maybe just the one, though. "Okay."
"Okay." Guy smirks then. "Any chance I can kiss you again in the meantime?"
Aldys rolls her eyes, but nods, and finally puts her arms around his shoulders. His lips meet hers once again, as the fireworks go off overhead.
Aldys and Guy are standing near the edge of the park, hand in hand, when the lemmings drift by on their way to their cars. Aldys, who is still mentally processing her first kiss with the most unexpected of partners, tenses as they approach.
"Seriously?" It's Kirsten this time. "You ditched us for Alpo?"
"It's Aldys," Guy corrects, still holding her hand. "And she's my friend – maybe even my girlfriend, actually, if I'm really lucky." He shoots a sideways glance towards Aldys at that. She's sure her eyes are as wide as Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby's. He turns back to the trio. "So if you say or do anything unkind towards her, you'll answer to me. Got it?"
The girls are frozen in place, mouths open, gaping at this unexpected development. Aldys offers them a shrug and tries not to laugh.
"Got it?" Guy repeats, and that snaps them out of it. They nod and hurry away, whispering amongst themselves and glancing back at Guy and Aldys over their shoulders.
"Wow," Aldys manages, as Guy turns to her. "I wasn't expecting you to say anything to them tonight."
"Well, they conveniently walked by," he points out. "And I did promise you I would."
She smiles. "Thank you. It means a lot."
He inclines his head in acknowledgement, and they turn to head to his car, still hand in hand. Guy eyes her slyly as they walk. "So what do you say, Aldys? Do you want to go out with me?"
Well, what an unexpected summer this is turning out to be.