Disclaimer: We don't own Eugenides. Or anyone else from the story. Please excuse us as we go sob in a corner.
..... During a regular court session...
Attolia: Sit Down! And Eugenides, shut up!
Eugenides hummed to himself, lying at her feet.
Baron Artodorus: "...and then I said to myself, 'Should I get the red cloak? Of course, the maroon one would be better for my income, but it makes me look fat from behind, and brings out the highlights in my hair.........."
(Everyone else at court was either trying not to murder the baron or asleep.)
Attolia: (whispering) Costis, get Gen a pillow.
Costis decides not to care, as he, Aristogiton, and the wine are having a party in the corner.
Eugenides snores a bit too loudly, making Attolia kick him.
Baron Artodorus: "... and after I finally decided on a color, I realized I didn't have any tassels to match. So I talked to him, who told me to talk to him, but he and I have had a long –standing disagreement on the relative merits of rabbit stew, so I couldn't take my tassel dilemna to him...."
Costis: You shouldn't take it here either
A peanut came flying through the air, hitting the baron in the forehead. Eugenides whistled softly in his sleep.
Attolia: (sigh) My king, what's your opinion on the baron's cloak problem?
Eugenides: I say he eats his cloak and gets a haircut.
Artodorus: But look how the fabric changes in the light, Your Majesty!
The Baron Artodorus spun slowly, so the court would be able to take in every angle of his fat profile.
Attolia: I don't see anything; it's too dark in here.
Eugenides: That's because the light is on, dummy.
The entire court looked at their king in wonder and stunned silence.
Attolia: I believe it is time to retire to dinner now.
Baron Artodorus: But I haven't talked about my boot buckles yet!
Eugenides: Make an appointment. Maybe with Lieutenant Costis here.
Costis spat out the wine indignantly and began to choke.
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