SWAB (Star Wars: Angry Birds)

by jadesfire22

Sorry that the abbreviation for this title sounds eerily reminiscent of a Q-tip. But hey, this story has so many things. Action! Adventure! Birds! Anger! Bored stormtroopers! All it really needs is a weird acronym, really, and then it has everything. Please read and review this craziness, if you think your mind is stable enough for the challenge.

1. Chapter 1

Angry Birds of Doom

I don't own Star Wars or Angry Birds. If I did, would I be writing fan fiction about them?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...

"What's this?" asked Stormtrooper TK-422. Ever since his roommate, TK-421, had mysteriously disappeared, he had been mournful and depressive for a few days.

Stormtrooper TK-423 sighed. He was in the room next to TK-422, and he had been very tired the last few days. 422 had been moping with a silent gloom audible through the duracrete walls of stormtrooper bunks. He had also been snoring. And he was claiming that the ghost of 421 was haunting him and saying mean things about how he had been a bad roommate in life. According to 422, 421 was spiteful.

TK-423, supremely arrogant in his strange knowledge of an Earth high school English curriculum, disagreed. "No, 124 was spiteful."

They proceeded to have an argument. "No, 124 is a perfectly nice person! I mean, a bit cold sometimes, and has a bad habit of tripping the trooper in the legion next to him, but I wouldn't call him spiteful."

"It's a reference...never mind...don't you ever read?"

424 came up next to them. "Why are you referencing Earth literature? You're not even supposed to know that! We're in a galaxy far far away, man."

423 smiled. "Well, now that you mention it...A while ago, some of us went down to this planet Earth. We went native for a few days."

425 walked up. "Oh, man, that was the best! We didn't even have to change our clothing! There are just these people down here...and they dress like stormtroopers!"

422 gasped. "What? Why would they do that?"

424 got tired of the parallelism of the sentence structures, and he sarcastically commented, "For the food, obviously."

I'm not quite sure what stormtroopers eat.

"Neither am I," answered 424, breaking the fourth wall.

But I'm sure it can't be good.

"Exactly. Oh, and fourth walls were made to be broken, so don't worry about that. You can talk to us whenever you want, you...narrator...person."

Exactly. That's my problem.

423 yelled, "Can we please just get to the topic!" Right. Um. stormtrooper food. Cosplay madness. Angry Birds. These topics will be tied together... AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS

No, in the next chapter, actually.